Happy Street – The Scheisengale

By Nidonemo

Chapter Four: I love you all so very much.

Billy rose from the stoop of the shit-filled house and wiped his eyes. He turned and shielded his eyes, the afternoon sunlight shone over the town, the bird droppings shimmering in the light. He walked towards the field, picking up small rocks and stones as he went, his mind blank and emotions numb, he didn't even notice himself reaching for each stone nor feel them dropping into his shirt pocket. He walked past villagers weeping in the streets, shopkeepers mourning the destruction of their wares and storefronts, a lone child walking around crying and wailing for her mother. The fox walked to the edge of the field, towards Zoe, who was rolling around in a pile of white glop, cackling with joy.

"Isn't it glorious, Billy!? It's everywhere! The poo! The wonderful, wonderful poo! It's like fresh fallen snow! Falling everywhere and landing on everyone's heads!" she moaned, throwing a hefty pile of it in the air and having it come back down with a splut in front of her, splattering in her face. She leaned backward and rubbed it all over her white, furry body, her eyes rolling back in ecstasy. "Oh what a blessing from God! He wants us to be happy! Happy, Billy! So very happy!"

Billy felt nothing at first, but after watching his childhood friend celebrate the destructive force which just destroyed their village, he felt something. He felt a chill, a small chill, a shiver creep up the back of his spine. It clawed slowly up his back, and slithered into his heart where it gnawed at him and became colder, and colder as she continued to laugh and squirm around in the bird's filth. His lips parted.

"I shall come for you next, after I destroy the bird." he said. The fox slid the goggles he always wore on his forehead down over his eyes and rushed off, leaving the cat to giggle and bathe in the excrement.

Billy spotted the scheisengale resting atop a stump, preening its feathers, he ran faster, reached into his pocket and hurled a rock at the bird, it sailed over its head, more rocks flew from his hands in blind fury. He had no feeling any more; he just wanted that bird to die. No focus, no remorse, just pure cold rage as stone after stone flew from his paws. The bird flapped and squawked; poo rained from the air and struck him. He kept going. He dipped his paw low and tried to pick up a thrown stone but he lost his balance.

Billy tripped and crashed to the ground, before he could muster the energy to get to his feet a flutter of wings in front of him made him freeze. He looked up. The scheisengale was standing right in front of him, its tail feathers inches away from the fox's face. They rose up, revealing the clean white underside of the scheisengale's rear. A tiny hole in the feathers opened and uncovered a small anus which then opened like the iris of a camera, inside was just pure darkness and a faint gurgling sound, suddenly a sinister glow began to brighten deep within the shadows of the scheisengale's asshole.

"It's like looking into hell itself..." Billy mumbled.

A moment later and his vision was stolen from him in a flood of warm, rancid white bird shit. He wanted to scream but he knew it was better he kept his mouth tightly shut. He had to hold back several gags and the overwhelming urge to vomit. The flood of white crap didn't stop, accompanied by the wet, sloppy sound of a loud fart, the torrent of shit continued to cover him. Suddenly the idea came to him; he shot out his arm and gripped firmly. The flood stopped, and through the crap that dripped from his ears he could hear panicked squawking and screeching.

Billy finally had the infernal bird in his paws. The bringer of such fecal destruction and suffering. He clenched his grip around the scheisengale's neck. The bird squawked and squawked, wildly flapping its wings, squawking and screeching in his face. With his free hand he wiped his mouth and tore off his goggles. His face heated his chest tight, holding back angry tears.

"You've shit on everything we hold dear! You've ruined our food! Spattered your droppings all over our homes! Destroyed any hope of tourism and trade this little town could ever dream of having! All for what!? Your personal sick amusement!? You're not a bird! You're not a creature of nature! You are a monster! A spawn of corrupted evil! You're an abomination!"

He was going to end this disgusting menace once and for all. Far behind him he could hear Zoe's voice,

"Stop! Don't hurt my little angel! Get your filthy paws off my baby!" she screamed, her red hair dripping wet, streaked white and heavy with poop. Her paws extended in a desperate reach to save her precious avian. Billy had enough. With a swift motion, he snapped the scheisengale's neck, and the bird fell limp in his grasp. He breathed a sigh of relief and let the corpse drop from his paws where it landed upon the grass with a soft thump, the nightmare was finally over. He fell to his knees and let out a deep, shaking breath.

He tried to think of how they could fix the mess. They could rebuild their tiny town, the rainy season wasn't too far off, and one thunderstorm could cleanse the whole area of the horrendous stench and piles of feces. The poop would fertilize the earth, bringing with it more flowers and healthy grass.

An infuriated Zoe snatched the bird's body up from the ground where it lay. She fell to her knees, and let out a mournful scream, clutching the bird tightly to her bosom. The scheisengale let out a small, wet fart as the body lost the last bit of control of its intestinal muscles. She cooed and sobbed as she gently pet the dead bird's head.

"Mommy's here! Mommy loves her poopy little baby! You covered everything with your love! Mommy knows! Mommy understands!" she cried, rocking the bird back and forth, its limp wing swinging lifelessly in her embrace. Billy looked at Zoe, disgusted. His spirit sore, he simply rose from his knees and began to walk away. Zoe glared at his back.

"You say he's a monster, but he was just a baby! He had a family! He had life and love to give to us all! You crushed a blessing upon this tiny little village!"

Billy froze in his tracks. His sanity was at its end. The last thread of patience had left his mind. He whirled around and bounded towards the white cat. He tackled her to the ground and punched her hard in the face. Slamming his fists into her cheeks and nose, he bloodied her mercilessly, she screamed until her mouth filled with blood, he wrapped his paws around her neck and strangled Zoe with all of his remaining strength.

"A cat as mad as you does not deserve life! I've tolerated your quirky bullshit for the longest time! I tossed it off as simple silly personality! Or maybe there was the slightest chance that it was a form of mental retardation that wasn't your fault! But this!? THIS!? You fucking celebrated the destruction of this village! You showed absolutely no remorse when our friends and neighbors died! No sorrow! Simply jubilation! I watched as someone suffocated in pure shit! He drowned in it! I couldn't save him! No one can be that oblivious to the suffering of those around her! Now leave this world, you horrible cat! Never come back! Never come back! I hate you! I HATE YOU! Leave us to cry in peace!" he screamed in her face, hot tears pouring from his eyes. Zoe struggled to claw at his arms, but his might and his relentless rage was too much for her. She gasped desperately as he shook her violently, her pulse slowed under his tight palms, her grip faded along with the light in her eyes, her arms fell away, and she went silent.

The sun was setting; a soft breeze gently caressed the land. All was still. Billy stood up wearily, and slowly plodded towards the village. Absolutely exhausted on all counts, emotionally, mentally, and especially physically. He leaned up against a shit-spattered coconut palm in the center of the defiled streets, and he looked up into the evening sky. The smiling moon was nowhere to be found, perhaps later he thought. Billy stared up into the orange sky, catching his breath and closing his eyes. His thoughts turned to Agent Boon, where was he now? Was it too late for this village? Was it too big of a mess to fix? Would they all vanish? Would the government have to cover them up too?

A flap of wings made his blood run cold. His eyes darted everywhere, where did it come from? Another flapping of wings, then another, Billy froze, he slowly craned his neck and his eyes followed the long trunk of the palm tree until it came to rest at the canopy. His heart stopped, and his weary eyes went wide.

The entire tree was filled with scheisengales. They all stared at him with their black, beady eyes. In unison, they lifted their tailfeathers.

End.