Angel sat in the coffee house in in L.A. nervously checking out his watch. It had been a year since he had seen Buffy. A year since he had killed Giles. A year since he saw the light go out in her eyes. In one moment he ripped away one of the most important things in her life.

He tried to reach out to her. He tried to tell her that it was beyond his control, under the influence of Twilight he was nothing more then a puppet in a grand scheme but she wouldn't have it. She turned her back on him and wanted nothing to do with him. He used all his resources to make contact. He wanted a chance to tell her he was sorry but every time he found an avenue to reach her she would shut it down.

So it was quite the surprise when Angel opened a simple email from Buffy. There was no message in there just a simple date and time. "Gunderson Coffee Shop 7pm Next Friday"

It was extremely short notice but he didn't care. He knew he had to find a way to be there. In his heart he was hoping she was brokering this meeting as an opening to a place in her life again.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 8:14. He was starting to wonder if she changed her mind when the front door of the coffee shop opened. She looked like she always looked to him. It was like she floated or glided as she made her way.

He stood up to greet her as she made her way to the table. As she walked over to him he smiled and stepped to her. "It's good to see you Buffy. It's been to long."

Buffy couldn't quite look him in the eyes. "You've spent too much time and resources and I realize now that we need to have this out once and for all."

"I wanted to talk about this a long time ago but you wouldn't see me."

"I wasn't ready."

"I've been telling you sorry for what I did but sorry seems so."

"Stop it Angel."

"Buffy I."

"Just listen." She looked down at the table. "I spent too long defending you to people. They would question me and say how can you give your loyalty to a vampire."

"Buffy."

"No Angel. You don't get to speak right now. You get to listen. That's the rules. You can play by my rules or I can go."

"Okay I guess I play by that."

"They would say how can you give your loyalty to a vampire. Especially when you became Angelus. I had to tell people that Angel and Angelus aren't the same people I defended you. I defended you maybe when I shouldn't have. I defended you when you killed Jenny Callendar." She closed her eyes and cleared her head.

"Jenny Callendar was a victim of Angelus and if I could trade places with her I would in a second."

"But you are blinded by love You find yourself justifying things for other that you would never justify under normal circumstances. Then there are the stories of the things you did in LA. Once again Angelus getting free and unleashing hell." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "But lets fast forward a little more and you come back to me. This time you come back hidden. You come at me in some ridiculous mask and costume and you come up with yet another persona. You are Twilight."

"Buffy it wasn't me I was possessed by"

Buffy put her hands up stopping him. "And the amazing thing is after finding out I still justified what you did to the people I cared about. I defended you saying that it was all for a reason. It was about a higher calling or some stupid bullshit like that. I actually believed it or at least I wanted to believe it." She could feel the tears forming in her eyes.

She looked him in the eyes wanting her to see she meant every word she was about to say. "Then you killed him. You killed the man I looked at as a father. You took his light from my life."

"Buffy."

"And I can't do it anymore. I can't make excuses for you. I can't make excuses anymore. I can't say what you did is okay. It's a year later and I'm here and I still hate you as much now as I do then."

"Then why Buffy? Why did you call me here. Why did you want to see me if it's only to tell me you hate and loathe me."

"I need you to not only know but understand you are out of my life. This isn't one of those things where you are out for now. 10 years from now things won't change I can't look at you and see anything but rage behind my eyes. Right now I am sitting here and it's taking everything I have to not rip in to you."

"I don't believe you. I know you Buffy and I know our story and this isn't the final chapter. This isn't how it ends."

"It should have happened a long time ago. I should have cut you out long ago. Maybe if I did things could have been different."

Angel reached across the table touching her hand. "Buffy"

Buffy pulled her hand back repulsed by him "Don't you fucking touch me. Ever again."

Angel bit his lip angry. "You can tell me that it's done you can tell me you don't feel anything for me but I've been thinking a lot about that night. I've been thinking about Giles and something sticks in my mind. Something you can't explain."

"What Angel? What is this stupid futile hope your clinging too."

"Xander."

"What about him?"

"When you destroyed the seed I was weak and vulnerable and easy for the kill. Xander attacked me when I was down and beat me bloody."

"I remember."

"Then you also remember him grabbing the scythe and ready to stake me."

"Get to your point."

"You stopped him. You stopped him because even then as md as you might have been you couldn't stand the idea of him killing me because we mean to much to each other."

Buffy laughed a little wiping the tears from her eyes. "You silly arrogant son of a bitch. Of course it's about you. It's always about you isn't it."

"You protected me that day."f

"I was protecting someone that day but it wasn't you. I was protecting Xander."

"No. That doesn't make sense."

"Are you kidding me? I lost Giles because of you and I I'll be damned if I was going to lose one more person I loved because of you."

"What are you talking about?'

"Killing you would have sent Xander in to a place. A place I couldn't have gotten him back from and I'll be damned if I'm letting that happen."

"I don't believe that."

"Of course you don't because in your mind. Liam I'm sorry Angel, I mean Angelus or is it Twilight you are eternal victim of circumstance. Nothing is ever your fault every thing has happened to you because of someone else. I bought in to that lie long enough."

"I get your angry Buffy but you can't give up on what we have we can work through this."

"Tell me how. How do I forgive you? When I used to see you I would get these butterflies in my stomach. Today a year later and the first thing I saw when I looked at you was blood on the hands from the people I love."

"So what? What happens now? You just walk away. Just discard me out of your life?"

"That's better then the alternative."

"Alternative?"

"I give in to everything dark inside me and lash out taking the revenge I so want and kill you."

Angel looked in to her eyes hoping to see some sign of hope but all he saw rage. "You know I get and understand and can see you wanting to kill Angelus but I've never seen this look from you."

Buffy stood up ready to leave. "Well don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. If I did that no matter how good it may feel I am crossing in to a darkness I don't want. This is good bye Angel."

Angel shook his head. "Our destiny is intertwined you know that. You can't change what is meant to be. We will always be in each others life"

She shook her head "No we really won't. You aren't my destiny or my soul mate. You aren't even my friend."

"I can be a good man."

Buffy stood with the table between them shaking her head. "This is about you or what you can or can't be. The reason I called you here is to tell you to stop trying to reach out. Your wasting resources and you no longer have any place in my life. As for you being a good man maybe once I believed that but now I have doubts. For your sake I hope your right but I don't care enough anymore."

"Buffy"

"Good bye Angel."

And with that she turned around walking out of the café and in to the night. When she was a silly teenage girl she would have felt ever telling Angel he was out of her life impossible but today the woman and slayer she had become it suddenly felt freeing. Some choices in hard and you look back wondering if you made the right choice but Buffy knew this was not only the right choice but also the only choice.

Angel sat stunned in the coffee shop. He thought back to years before and Whistler. Buffy was his inspiration that pulled him out of the funk he was in. He was a beaten down broken vampire of a man living on the streets with out hope. Buffy had given him hope and now with her gone he wasn't sure who he was again.

He stood up and walked out the front door of the coffee shop looking around. Buffy was already out of sight He felt a sudden hollowness inside. When he was cursed with his soul he thought he knew pain but suddenly that felt minor as to knowing from this day fourth the one woman he truly loved would never love him again. As he walked away he wondered if 200 years later finally he was paying his penance for a truly wicked past.