Time for a crack!fic, everyone! OOCness, terrible writing, this is how my writing is before I have my best friend beta it for me. I thought you'd like to no how my writing really is, here ya goooo! (she usually writes me the intro to so sorry)

The kingdom is in chaos. Zel told me to run. And run I did, like the coward I am. I didn't want to leave my love. I had confessed to her only that day, before the siege started. I told her I loved her, and she said it back. We were supposed to consummate it, but didn't have the time.

The only thing she said to me before I left was "Find the mage. He knows how to do it"

A mage? I didn't no who he was, or what he knew how to do. I was confused and heartbroken. But I fled. I went south to the Zora's. There prince didn't know anything either so I had to search somewhere else. To the forest I went!

I trapsed across the land on my noble steed Epona and once we got to the forest I left her at the edge and wandered inside because the forest wasn't a place you could no where to go, you had to just hope that it led you where you wanted.

I was on my third day and the signs were taking me closer when a object fell on me. I stood up quickly and looked down at the thing that made me fell.

It was a man. He was,,, purple. "What the fuck" I said getting overly confused. Like I said, he was purple. With a deep purple robe and a hat like mine, but it had a red ruby like stone in it.

The man jumped up grinning and stuck out his hand to me. "Hiya~" he said happiley. I looked at him weirdly before looking at his hand. "Uh hi" I said back. "They call me Link."

"Linky-poo~" the man giggled, "I'm Vaati! I'm a wind mage~!"

I nodded slowly with my mouth wide open in shock. "Holy fuck I found you…" I said with my voice quiet. I can go back now. Zellie wil know what to do now.

Vaati the mage giggled and jumped in a circle around me chanting "Found me~ found me~"

"Lets go back" I grumbled, grabbing Vaati the mage's wrist and tugging him off into a random direction.

"I kno how to get oouuut~" he giggled, hugging me tightly. Suddenly he was serious and he whispered in my ear "Hold on to me"

I flinched but put my hands on Vaati the mage's hips and suddenly we werent' in the forest but in a house. "I kno all about you, Linky-poo~"

Vaati the mage let go of me and ploped down on a couch near to him. He crossed his legs and leant back, still with that grin on his face. "And do ya really wanna save your bonnie lass?" he shook his head. "I dont think you do~" he pouted cutly and motioned me to sit beside him.

"I… don't'…?" I asked, slowly sitting beside Vaati the mage. The purple man wrapped his arm aournd me and leant on me. "No you don't silly man. You wanna stay here with me~"

But I didn't want to do that. I needed to save Hyrule, and Zel, my love. But Vaati the mage was quite convincing. "Why would I want to do that?" I asked him, scooting away from.

"Because I'm better than her high high highness~" Vaati th e mage giggled and leaned into me again.

I sniffed in Vaati the mage's scent and after a little bit, felt feeling drowsy. "oh~" I moaned softly "I don't feel very good Vaati…"

Vaati giggled and said "Don't you just want to fuck me~?"

Oh fuck I did. I really did. Zellie was put out of my head immediately and I pounced on Vaati the mage. He giggled and topped me, putting us on the floor with me spraweled under him.

He kissed me with sloppy lips and put his hands up my tunic after pulling off my belt. Vaati the mages fingers pulled on my nipple and I arched my back to him. He must have used a afrodisiac on me. I didn't care, obvi.

I kissed Vaati the mage back with gusto and grabbed at his long purple hair, making his hat fall from his head.

Vaati the mage pulled off my tunic and his lips went down to my chest. I was in heaven. His other hand went farther down to my pants and he pulled them off to, pressing his hand against my raging erect penis.

I moaned "Vaati" and bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood. Vaati the mage worked on my penis for a little while before pushing his fingers in my butthole. I moaned again and Vaati the mage thrusted his fingers in and out of my butt. It felt so good. I just wanted his penis in me.

Vaati the mage took out his fingers and replaced them with his penis. I arched my back against his and he thrusted harder and harder in me until we both came. "oh Vaati" I yelled.

He pulled out of my butthole and kissed my lips hard but passionate. I was spent, but I kissed him back.

"I love you" I whispered, my eyelids half open.

Vaati the mage sat up and pulled his pants back on. "I love you to~" he said grinning. "I hope you have a babay~"

I nodded and smiled. "Yes me to".

And we went to save Zellie and Hyrule, and I told her I was in love with Vaati the mage and I didn't care who knows it and I ended up getting preggers (^_^) and Vaati the mage was very nice to me and Zellie was supportive and happy 4 us.

We named the baby girl Gemma and we are a very happy family now.

The End~~

So how was it, guys? Heehee~ it was wonderful right? I had fun righting it and im glad you finally got to see what my writing is really like! I hope you still want to read my really good stories heehee they're so kawaii~