Guilt

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or do I? No, I don't.

Rukia yawned for the millionth time that day, she felt so tired and she knew why. It was uncomfortable and difficult to try and sleep at night, by nature they had to stay up at night. Her and Ichigo's behaviour had changed and people at school noticed. The two ignored the rumors and whispers of people at school. The students speculated as what happened to the two to have their attitudes change so drastically. At first their friends couldn't tell what was wrong, but then they saw that the siblings didn't argue anymore and that was weird As in so strange that the whole world was put out of balance. It was like two perfect strangers had replaced their friends. The siblings' demeanor changed. They were cold and stoic, with cool masks and couldn't be riled up. There was even something weird about the way they carried themselves, with an ease that wasn't human. Some like Keigo suggested alien abduction, like pod people. In actuality all their friends worried. Yet they unconsciously stayed away, because it was their survival instinct that told them that there was something dangerous about them. Though some wouldn't admit it, the siblings let off this feeling that caused an uneasiness within them, something like fear. It was as if they were something evil in disguise as humans. And when the two had stopped hanging out with their friends, their friends felt an inexplicable sense of relief because when the two were there, the air seemed tense. Their friends felt like they were animals backed into a corner by a predator whenever the two were around.
The siblings decided to hunt tonight. Weeks had passed and they started to feel the hunger again but now they knew how to sate it. It would be their second time and this time they'd be a bit more discreet about the killing. Anticipation ran through Rukia and her brother/lover as they sat in class, waiting for school to be over and waiting for the night to come. Rukia just couldn't wait to drink the sweet warm blood and sate her thirst. She could hear the pulsing within the humans veins, that alluring call of blood. She wanted to just jump at the one closest next to her and sink her fangs into their neck, draining them of all their crimson life force. Patience, she reminded herself, there would be time to kill later on.

It was evening with the sun still out. Yuzu timidly knocked on her siblings room, they'd been acting wierd lately and she couldn't help this scared feeling in the pit of her stomach. But that was silly, they were her brother and sister, they were family. Though they stopped eating dinner, Yuzu felt it was her responsibility to call them to eat, it was tradition.
Ichigo snarled when he heard the knock on their door, his haze had been broken and he lifted his head from Rukia's neck where he'd been tasting. It was different, the taste of another vampire's blood from a humans, but still it had been pleasant. It felt good for both him and her. They couldn't help but be curious of how it would be like, since they could smell the scent of each other. It wasn't like when they drank human blood that sated their hunger. Tasting each other's blood had been an intimate thing, it inspired lust within their bodies and they felt pleasure coursing through them. They growled and felt fury at whoever interrupted them. Their mood was worse because they had yet to hunt tonight and the thirst was uncomfortable, making them especially irritable. The knock was heard again and Ichigo, with his new found speed yanked open the door with unnecessary force, startling Yuzu at the suddenness. Yuzu had to swallow a squeak of shock at seeing her brother's livid face.
" I was just going to ask you guys if you were going to come eat." she let out in a small voice.
" No, we're fine." he ground out.
" O-okay" Yuzu stuttered and proceeded to hurry down the stairs. Ichigo watched her until she was out of view then slammed the door shut. He turned to Rukia who was still on the bed, " So where were we?" he asked while his fangs slid out of his gums.

Night had fallen. Two figures stood silently watching a lone girl walk the streets at night towards her home. The moonlight illuminated her figure as she walked oblivious to her surroundings. Ichigo, turned his nose and smelled the air in the direction of the girl.
"Mouth watering" he said, his brown eyes flashing red. He turned to his sister/lover next to him and asked, "Shall we?"
Rukia in turn smelled the air as well and replied, "Lets."
Then they both gracefully jumped off the building and proceeded to land on their feet without a sound. They stalked forwards towards the girl, out of sight, hidden by the shadows. They faced each other and prepared for the attack. Their fangs extended from their mouths and their eyes glowed within black scleras. Their nails grew and resembled claws. Their skin tinged a shade paler. Rukia stepped up in front of the girl, startling her, and behind her, Ichigo came. The frightened girl had no time to process what was going on or had time to scream. Both instantaneously bit her neck from opposite sides. They bit harshly, their fangs puncturing deep onto the girl's neck. Then they drank her blood but not enough to kill her, not yet. They let her go and watched her as she tried to scream and run away. But her legs were shaky and she stumbled then fell. She still tried to get up and get away, even to the point of crawling. They watched her with sadistic glowing eyes. Then they stalked painfully slow towards her, making sure she could see them coming. The girl was now crying and trying to scream. They descended upon her claws slashing deep into her skin. They dug them deep enough to pull out chunks of flesh. The blood that was left within the victim's body, spurted out everywhere. Ichigo then proceeded stab his bare hand through her chest, breaking the sternum and grabbing the still beating heart, then in a quick motion pulled it out, heart in hand. The body slumped over, the poor victim officially dead. Now came the bothersome part, getting rid of the body, unlike the first time they killed, this time they would hide it, making sure it wasn't found. They would have to go to a place where they could burn it, but first cutting the body up into smaller pieces, it would burn easier that way. No one would be able to see them since they could move impercibley with their inhuman speed. They left the bloodbath site, themselves covered in blood, blood smearing from their lips down to their chins. There was blood on their hands, but they didn't care. The thirst was quenched for now and what a joy it was to kill, their inner beasts were dormant until the next hunt.

...

How did end up like this? Rukia asked herself wrapping her arms around her knees as she sat under a tree. Maybe being a vampire wasn't what she thought it would be. Orihime had shown fear on her face, fear directed at Rukia. The bubbly girl only wanted to talk to Rukia about her strange behavior, she was worried. Yet Rukia only felt annoyance all the time the Orihime talked, her voice grating into Rukia's ears. She felt her rage build up, she had no time to listen to a pathetic weak human whose only use was as food. She had snapped back at the red-head, taking them both by surprise and Rukia was sure her eyes had turned into the demonic ones. But what she was more horrified by, was snapping at her little sisters. They were just talking normally but to Rukia their voices seemed to drill into her skull and she could take it so she yelled at them to shut up and to make it worse she bared a growl at them that didn't sound human. Yuzu had tears in her eyes, on the verge of crying and Karin was shocked in silence, but also frightened. When she'd realize what she'd done, she'd quickly erased their memories, but there was nothing she could do about their own memory. She felt so guilty that she'd lost it with her own sisters. That made her realize how she couldn't control herself anymore. No matter what, they were her sisters, family, and even if she was a vampire she decided she wasn't going to hurt them. She could never hurt them, she loved her little sisters. She felt guilt creeping in. Her family remained oblivious to the fact that they had two monsters living in their home. The two were no longer the son and daughter they'd known, they were monsters, killers, vampires. I love my brother and I've been with him. I killed people, I drank their blood and I liked it. I've messed with my families minds, they're like puppets now. What have I done? Rukia grew more horrified each time thinking back on her actions. The guilt rose and threatened to swallow her whole. Her conscience finally seemed to surface and she became disgusted in herself. Each time she repeated her sins over and over in her head, her despair grew. I killed people, I ripped them to shreds and drank their blood. Rukia sobbed into her palms, she couldn't live like this anymore. She wasn't human anymore and her life was so messed up. Monster or not, it was still wrong to be with her own brother. She crumpled to the ground and sobbed. Now realizing what a sin it was to love her brother the way she did. She heard footsteps coming towards her and strong arms lifting her up into an embrace. She knew who it was, her soul would recognize him anywhere. He was worried for seeing her like this. What had caused her this pain? Ichigo asked himself, imagining murdering whoever did this. Rukia just continued to sob into his chest but refused to look at him, still not giving him an explanation. Finally she lifted her head and he saw the saddest and human expression on her face. "Ichigo, I don't want to be a monster. It's wrong, we killed people." she hiccupped in a teary voice. "What if Yuzu and Karin aren't safe around us. What if we end up killing them? What if we kill our family?" The dreams came into his head, the one of their family dead and he couldn't help but cringe at that thought. Could he one day lose control and kill his own family? The human part within him stirred and slowly he grew to understand what they'd done. He looked at her sorrow filled eyes and knew she spoke the truth. Guilt and shame filled him. He thought of when he snapped at Yuzu, how scared she looked. How could I have ever done that, to my own family? Realization kept sinking in, his conscience weighing heavily on him. "We murdered with no mercy and we drank their blood." he said in a hollow tone, crumbling into despair alongside her.
"and I love you" Rukia said. He knew what she meant but couldn't formulate a response, of course she was right. Their's was a damned love from the beginning. It was bliss while it lasted, but they'd have to face reality. Monsters or not, he'd touched his own sister, his own blood, in a way that shouldn't have happened. Yet he found he could only say,"but I don't want to let you go."
Her eyes were still leaking tears and it broke his heart to see her so sad, "No, Ichigo, brother, its wrong. There's no place for us."
"No Rukia, don't say that, there has to be a way" he said.
But her face showed no hope, she didn't dare hope, "I don't think I'll be able to control myself when I get thirsty. I could end up killing our family. Ichigo, can you honestly tell me you can handle the thirst, the instinct to kill?"
Ichigo faltered, the answer was no, he wasn't strong enough, when the thirst came, he'd rip someone to shreds not caring about anything. That was how they'd done it before and he knew how powerful the instinct was. " No, I can't" he replied. Rukia's thoughts were turning to a darker path, Death would be the only way to save them. It seemed there was no option but death, and that was scary. But how could two beings like themselves actually die? How do you kill a monster? But one thing was clear, they couldn't stay here anymore, living in their old human pretenses. If they did who knew what they could end up doing or end up killing. They dreaded that the only way they could die was to kill each other. They stayed that way, silent and embracing for a long time. Unexpectedly, it started raining as if it reflected the pain of these two.

There was no moon tonight, the dark clouds dominated the sky and the rain poured unrelenting. The two entered their home, dripping wet. They'd come as a last goodbye, to their family and old human lives. There was only a search for death left for them. Living wasn't an option, they were monsters. Their mother turned from her cooking to her two oldest children.
"Why are you two soaking wet?" and then noticing their faces asked," What's wrong?" her face turning into a worried one. Her love for her two children overrode her natural instinct that made her fear her now not human children.
Rukia looked to her mother's beautiful face and felt so guilty and sad for ever lying to her, even worse for imposing her will on her to control her mind. She felt a pang of sadness that this would be the last time she would look at her mothers face, the one that gave birth to her and always cared for her.
Ichigo couldn't bear the guilt and sadness that invaded him as he looked to his mothers worried face for the last time. He didn't deserve her to worry for him. She would be horrified to know that he'd killed people and enjoyed it. Shed be horrified if she knew that he'd been with Rukia, his own sister. He tried to make his response sound normal, like his old self, " Hey mom, we gotta tell you guys something." By that he meant that him and Rukia wanted to talk to all of them, their parents and Yuzu and Karin. Luckily all of them had been gathered in the living room watching tv. They looked up to see Masaki enter with a drenched Ichigo and Rukia behind her. This would be the last time they would see their family. Rukia had to clear her eyes of tears in order to wipe her families memories one last time. Her voice quivered as she spoke and looked straight into her little sister's eyes. "You will forget that you had a sister named Rukia and a brother named Ichigo. You will forget that they ever existed and erase them from any memory you have with them."
Ichigo did the same, staring for the last time into his parent's glassy eyes, telling them to forget they ever had a son named Ichigo and daughter named Rukia.

They made sure to erase any trace that Rukia and Ichigo Kurosaki ever existed. No one would know or remember that they had existed. They went around erasing people's memories, which was made easier because of their powers. They were looking for death now. Death was the only thing to save them from this damned existence.