It had been hours, hours since they took Rusty into surgery, the fear and panic only continued to grow in the pit of Sharon's stomach. She continued to sit in the waiting room chair with her head in her hands trying to remain calm.

Her body felt weak from fainting before and legs had a rhythm of their own shaking as she sat in the chair. How did this happen? I should of drove him, I should of told him to stay…I shouldn't of-

Sharon was so lost in her own thoughts she was jolted when Cynthia's voice sounded in her ears.

"Sharon, why wasn't Rusty with you today?" Cynthia's question burned in Sharon's ears. It's my fault, he wouldn't have been in that car- he wouldn't have wanted to get away if I hadn't- Sharon had to stop herself from those thoughts and returned an answer to Cynthia placing her glasses in her hand. "He had plans with his friend. They were going to go to that new movie that's out. I thought- I didn't know Jake had his license." Sharon covered her eyes with her hand again feeling the tears coming to the surface again. This is all my fault.

"How did you not know that his friend had his license? Do you know this young boy?" Cynthia's second question hit deeper than the first and Sharon wasn't sure how that was possible. She glanced over at Cynthia giving her the official Captain Raydor glare when another voice drew her attention.

"Come on, I think you could use a cup of coffee" Andy held his hand out for Sharon to take. She hesitated for a moment, but would of done anything to get away from Cynthia's painful questions and took Andy's hand walking down the hall with him to a coffee machine. While putting quarters in the machine he glanced at Sharon giving her a warm smile trying to calm her nerves. "Rusty's a fighter, he'll pull through Captain."

Sharon stood against a cool wall leaning her head back, closing her eyes in silence while Andy busied himself with the coffee machine that seemed to be having difficulties. "This is my fault." Andy looked over at Sharon with a strange expression then back at the machine, "how could this be your fault, you didn't even touch the piece of crap." Andy kicked the bottom of the machine, oblivious that Sharon wasn't referring to the coffee at all.

"Not the damn machine Andy, Rusty…It's my fault he's here."

Andy finally looked at Sharon with a serious expression giving her his attention and taking a step towards her, "Sharon this isn't your fault, it was an accident. There is no way you could of done anything to prevent, If you had been driving then you would be the one dead right now and then where would Rusty be?"

Sharon hadn't thought about that, she had been blaming herself over and over, but Andy was right, it was an accident. If Sharon had been driving it doesn't mean there would have been a different outcome. However it didn't stop the regret she was carrying around.

As Andy and Sharon walked back towards the waiting room, Sharon heard a familiar voice and looked up to see the voice of Jake's mother Kathy, she was shaking and crying, demanding news about her son's condition. Sharon dropped her new cup of coffee the instant she met Kathy's eyes, no, I can't do this.

Sharon had given notifications hundreds of times, working in FID she was constantly giving a notification of a loved one's death, but not this. This was Rusty's friend, someone she had gotten to know. Months ago Kathy was thrilled when Jake met a new friend. He had been lonely in high school, the chess team was filled of people who did nothing but play chess, and Kathy was happy that Jake finally had a friend to hang out with on the weekend. Even knowing Rusty's past, Kathy never had her doubts about Rusty's friendship with Jake.

"Oh god, Sharon, where are the boys? The hospital called me and said there had been an accident, is Rusty okay? Where's Jake?"

Andy had immediately reached for Sharon's shoulder the moment she dropped her coffee and now felt her body shaking as the other women approached and stepped forward to take the lead.

"Kathy I-" Sharon covered hear mouth reaching for Kathy's hand, tears instantly finding their way to her eyes spilling over down her cheeks. Andy knew Sharon couldn't handle much more and handed her his coffee resting his hand over hers giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before stepping towards Kathy asking her to follow him and leading her down the hallway.

Sharon stood there, her hand still over her mouth sobbing silently when a hand touched her back and she looked into Provenza's eyes, "Come on captain, lets take a seat."

They only made it a few steps before a nurse walked into the waiting room looking down at a file in her hand as she spoke "I'm looking for the family of Rusty Beck." As the nurse looked up she was surprised to see more than half of the room stand up looking at her with worried eyes.

Sharon took the few short steps towards the nurse wiping her tears "We're Rusty's family, Is he okay?"

TBC? Possibly a Raydor/Flynn idea going on…please give me your thoughts, comments, ideas