Dealing with a heart that I didn't break
"Hold me?" she didn't have to ask twice. Wrapping my arms around her I lifted her off the table and carried her to my bedroom. I kicked off my shoes and laid down with her on top of me, no more words were said and pretty soon her breathing evened out and I watched her sleep for a while longer before falling under myself.
Something startled me out of my sleep, it took me a while to register what it was though, my phone was ringing. But actually getting up took even longer, and by the time I actually got up the phone had stopped ringing. Tiptoeing my way out, so I wouldn't wake her up, I finally found my phone on the kitchen counter.
The missed call was from Christian, no doubt wondering where the hell I was. Checking the time I found out it was only 2:50 in the morning so he would find out soon enough.
Going through my phone I dialed a number I only called on emergencies. And this was an emergency!
"Dimka?" Karolina answered on the second ring.
"Lina," I greeted.
"What happened? Are you okay?" her voice sounded panicked.
"I'm fine," I answered her.
"Oh, okay I'll get mamma for you."
"No Lina wait, it's you I wanted to talk to," I couldn't really talk to my mother about a girl or she would get on the next flight to do wedding arrangements.
"Me? It's not my birthday you know," she joked. Okay so I needed a bit more contact with my sisters.
"I've missed you," and it wasn't a lie, I miss my family just don't miss their nagging.
"Dimka you are one of the two men I love, you know this but I know you didn't call to tell me how much of an awesome sister I am so out with it," she said.
"There's this girl," I peeked down the hallway to see if I had woken her up. I didn't want her to wake up in the wrong part of this conversation, fact I didn't want her to wake up at all while I was having this conversation, so I moved into the spare bedroom and closed the door, then into the bathroom and closed that door. This way even if she woke up she wouldn't hear me.
"Well it's about damn time," she chuckled.
"It's not like that, you see she's in my bed," I was trying to find the right words to say what was on my mind.
"Okay brother you must be drunk, good by-
"No Lina, I'm not drunk! Hear me out. Some guy hit her in the club we were in, she was a mess, I couldn't let her drive so I brought her here and now she's sleeping in my bed," I spat out the words and finished with a sigh.
"Did you throw her over your shoulder like a cave man?"
"No, I found her crying on the ground so I picked her up and brought her home with me," did she not know me?
"So she trusts you, or she wouldn't have gone home with you. Have you slept with her?" straight to the point.
"Not tonight, but yes we had sex before," no point in lying to her.
"So you care for her," and she hit the nail in the head on the first try.
"What do I do with a crying girl?" I needed a change of subject.
"Well clearly you care for her and she clearly trusts you, just follow your heart Dimka, do what feels right… and try not to hurt her more, I'll call you later to find out how things went," and just like that she hung up the phone; Leaving me with no idea as what to do with Rose.
After I put my phone back I went back to bed, she was still sleeping peacefully and unconsciously her body molded back onto mine when I laid back down. I could get used to this.
Something was seriously wrong with me, all these warm fuzzy feelings inside me was a bit scary. I want her for myself, be damn all the consequences and whatever broken heart she had I would do my damn best to heal it.
When I felt her stir in my arms I tightened my hold, not wanting to let her go. Would she leave? Would she 'wake' me up? What was I going to do if she wanted to leave? Hold her hostage?
Releasing my hold I pretended to be asleep. That way she could leave if she wanted that, and if she stayed it wouldn't be because she felt pressured it would be because she wanted to.
When she finally got up each step she took away from the bedroom felt like a dagger stuck through my heart, another step another dagger. I waited for the door to click shut, maybe when it did the pain would stop. I waited but it never happened, she didn't leave. She called someone, at first I thought maybe she was calling a cab or one of her friends to pick her up and I only made out a word here or there, but the one part I heard eased up the pain. She wasn't leaving.
The smell of coffee hit me before she made her way back into the room, I wanted to stop pretending but when I heard her open the door to my closet I couldn't help but wonder what she was up to. Was she looking for her dress? She wouldn't find it. When the shower was turned on I gave up pretending and got up. In a quick trip to the spare bathroom I brushed my teeth, washed my face and was back on the bed before she walked out of the bathroom. Good thing too because Rose walking out of the bathroom wearing just my shirt was quite the sight.
"Good morning gorgeous," somehow the word 'gorgeous' didn't quite do her justice. The sight of her bare legs stirred primal sensations inside of me. The blush that stained her cheeks made my dick harden in a second.
"I'm sorry I used your shower without asking, but I dint want to wake you, so I just went on ahead but now I feel like I shouldn't have and I'll just shut up now," she rambled on. Maybe I was a fool but she looked even cuter when she was nervous, and that realization stirred different feelings in me.
"Come here," I called to her and she obeyed. The bruise on her cheek was a painful reminder of the previous night. "How are you feeling?" the bruise on her cheek also brought painful reminders of what my father did to my mom.
"I'm confused," she answered and I was glad she didn't go with the usual female response of 'I'm fine' when the world knows its crap.
"Wanna talk about it?" but as the words slipped out of lips I wanted to take them back. Was I ready for this? I mean I have no experience in relationships, only the 'not to' from watching the way my mom and sisters were treated by men.
"Why?" she looked skeptical.
"We don't have to, if you don't want too. Let's go get some coffee," I pulled her with me as I made my way to the kitchen.
"Why are you being so nice? I mean we don't even know each other," she pulled her hand away from mine.
"Because I want to," I shrugged, I mean what else was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell her that situation she had been in was much too similar to what had happened to my mother and two of my sisters, I didn't want her to think this was some charity work.
"Look, thank you okay. Thank you for beating up Mason and thank you for helping me out in the parking lot, I'll have my dad write you a check for all your troubles but I'll just be leaving now," she huffed and tried to walk past me. Wasn't happening though; I couldn't let her leave thinking I had done it because I wanted her money.
"Where do you think you are going?" I held on to her arm.
"Away from you," she snapped as she yanked her arm with more force than I thought she possessed, but I wasn't letting up.
"What have I done to you?" I couldn't help but ask, I had been nothing but nice and yet she was fighting me at every sentence.
"You're being nice," was her lame answer.
"Perhaps you would like me to hit you a couple of times then?" I snapped. What the hell was her problem? Women… bunch of lunatics they all are. To prove my point even further she attacked me, but I managed to grab hold of her before she did any damage.
"What do you want from me?" she yelled as she tried to fight me off. "Tell me, you know who my daddy is now, do you want money? Maybe you want status? Like I said I'll have him write you a check for all your troubles," Americans, it was always about money with most of them, money and fame.
"Take a good look around you," I told her. If she thinks I need her to get money, or 'status' as she said, she was in for a rude awakening. Not really in the mood to feel anything else for the rest of my life I walked into the kitchen. Just in a span of hours I had felt every emotion in a women's handbook. As she looked at the living room wall her mouth hang slightly open. She took her time as she inspected the framed pictures, the furniture or the trophies; her eyes seemed to take in every detail.
"You work for my dad," she finally spoke.
"Something like that," I answered as I stepped closer to her.
"So that is why you came to my rescue, he ordered you," she said as if finally putting together the last piece of whatever puzzle she was putting together.
"I didn't know you were Ibrahim's daughter until after the fact," I answered her honestly as I handed her a mug with coffee.
"Then why? Why help me at all?" she snapped AGAIN. All this snapping was irritating.
"Is it really that hard for you to believe that I did it because I wanted too, without any interest be it monetary or otherwise," I sighed, how damaged was she that she couldn't see an act of kindness for what it was.
"There is always an ulterior motive," and as she said that the words my sister had spoken earlier came back to me, 'just follow your heart' and right now my heart wanted to kiss her. Invading her personal space I gently placed my hands on either side of her face, moving even closer… almost letting my lips touch hers.
"To be honest I don't know why I did it," I breathed in her air. "Maybe I did it because I wanted to hold you one more time, or maybe I did it because I wanted to taste your lips again," closing the distance I molded my lips to hers. Not in a deep passionate kiss, just a teasing and tasting one. Before she got any other ideas I pulled back, letting my lips just brush hers as I spoke.
"Maybe I did it because I can't get you out of my mind, ever since that night you have been plaguing my every thought… and I've been wanting to see you again, even though that was next to impossible but yet here we are, once again in my living room and I want nothing more than to just kiss you," I blurted it all out, letting her know exactly how I felt.
"Then why did you reject me last night?" she asked. Did she really think that low of me? After growing up with the strongest women I know and seeing first-hand what they went through I could never take advantage of a woman.
"It took every ounce of my self-control to say no to you last night, and right now all I want to do is rip that shirt away from your body and just ravish you," looking deep into her brown eyes I tried to let my eyes show her how truthful I'm being .
"What's stopping you?" she issued a challenge.
"Because I don't want just one more fuck with you," I sighed while my lips tickled with the soft touch of hers. Those words hadn't been intentional but now that they were out they were necessary.
"What do you want?" what did I want? I wanted her for myself.
"I don't know; I just know I want more… this is all so new to me. I don't really know what is happening but I don't want you if it's just for tonight," I pulled away from her, putting some distance between us as my body dropped onto the couch.
"I can't do relationship," she told me. Relationship? Could I do relationship? Or would I just be another jerk and do to her what others had done to the women in my family?
Just then my musing was interrupted by Chris and Eddie at my now open door.
"Really guys?" they had the worse timing ever.
"Sweet sweet Rose," Christian smiled at my Roza and I had to fight back the urge to rip his head off. "Fancy seeing you here, wearing his shirt, again," He chuckled.
"Good morning Rose," Eddie greeted her like a normal person should.
"Leave. Now!" I will kill both of them after I take her home.
"Fine, whatever we just came to see what all that shouting was all about, thought maybe mom Olena was here," Christian lied through his teeth.
"Let's go Chris," Eddie tugged Chris away, so maybe I would spare Eddie. But to avoid another bust in I walked over to the door and snapped the security chain into place.
"I need to take my keys back from those fools," I mumbled to myself.
"I'm damaged goods, I've been hurt bad, and I have many issues." She blurted out, but I'm not sure if her excuses were for my sake or hers.
"I never want to see you hurt, seeing tears in your eyes destroyed me," once again I followed my sister's advice and spoke from the heart, if it got me in trouble I had someone to blame.
"I have rules, my friends and I have rules, rules in which I'm breaking," rules? It seemed we were both breaking rules. Without a word I grabbed her hand and pulled her down to the couch with me, inching closer to her as she slowly inched away. When her back was flat against the cushion I crawled up her body.
"Stop me," I asked her, as I couldn't stop myself. The feel of her soft skin under my hand was pure ecstasy. My hand had started at her calve and once I reached her knee I had to ask again. "Stop me."
If possible the higher I went the softer her skin got, when I reached the shirt however I would only precede if didn't protest. "Please Roza, stop me," but she didn't, and as her breathing sped up to me that was good and answer as any, as my hand inched up I made sure the shirt went up too. Once I got to her hips I expected to meet more material and when my hand found more bare skin I couldn't stop the growl that escaped my lips.
"Please Roza, stop me," if only she would say the words… I would stop! As much as I wanted her… needed her, I would stop.
"I don't want you to stop," and her words snapped me out of my lust induced trance. This is not what I want! I don't want to have sex with her now to not see her again until God knows when.
"I can't do this," if I proceeded to fuck her I would be no better than the men I despised. With my mind made I sat back putting distance between our bodies. But apparently a man's mind can be easily unmade and mine proved no better when her back arched up and she pulled the shirt clean off her body leaving it completely bare in all its glory… and boy was it glorious.
"Чертовски зла соблазнительница," because that's exactly what she was.
The fight raging inside of me was of epic proportion. I wanted her more than anything right now; I would most likely choose her over air just about now. Something changed in her eyes, a look of almost appall overtook her. And a different kind of blush crept into her cheeks and when she tried to move it clicked that she was embarrassed with what she had done since I had made no move to claim her.
"Don't move," I ordered.
"Well you clearly don't want me, so let me up," she crossed her leg over and covered her chest with her hands, but I was having none of that, taking her arms I held them up above her head with one hand while using the other to support my weight. Nudging her legs apart with my knees I leaned down to claim her lips in a searing kiss, biting down on her bottom lip as I ground my erection into her bare pussy, the moan that escaped her was drowned by my kiss. This woman would be the death of me.
"Do you still think I don't want you?" I whispered in her ear as I moved my hips again, this she moaned loudly.
"I think you are wearing too much clothes," she growled.
"I'm sorry but this won't last long," I was practically cuming in my pants as it was. I was panting as I unbuttoned my pants and lowered the zipper; this will be what Americans call a quickie. Without another word I slammed inside her, "Fuck, so tight," I grunted pulling out slowly and easing it in so that I could hold back for a little while.
"Fuck me, don't tease me," Impatient little thing.
"Such a dirty little mouth," I said each word with a hard thrust, when she started to play with her clit I almost lost it; it was possibly the most erotic sight I had ever seen.
"Oh yeah baby, make yourself cum while I fuck you," I picked up my tempo and so did she, the little flutter of her walls around me told me she was at the edge so I leaned forward and bit down on one of her nipples sending her crashing down, pulling out I let my seed spill into my hand.
"Sorry, no condom," I explained as I wiped my hand clean on the shirt I had on minutes earlier. She laughed, probably at me, but it was just fine so long as she laughed more often.
"How about a shower, than some breakfast. My sister Viktoria has about the same body as you so you should find something that fits you in the spare bedroom, how about it?" there was no way I was letting her away from me before I said what I wanted to say.
"I'd say only if you carry me, but I don't want you to touch me with those hands," she made the cutest face.
"What's wrong with these hands?" I said fighting back a smile.
"They are all icky," she giggled like a little girl.
"Icky? Really Rose?" I wanted to explode with laughter but opted instead to throw her over my shoulder like the caveman my sister had called me earlier.
A.N: Yes I know I'm a bad author who deserves to be lynched for not properly thanking you guys for you specially kind words so her it is (Ps: I wrote this first so I wouldn't have another excuse to skip it)
I'm not the kind of author who holds a chapter hostage just to get reviews, sometimes it takes me a while to perfect it and also (personal opinion please don't take offence) I believe a chapter needs to have 2000 words or more. But as my own expectance is of 10 reviews per chapter on this story but you guys give me so much more.
Chapter 5: (34 WoOoW)
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Chapter 6: (20 YaY)
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Chapter 7: (17 huh)
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Chapter 8: (16 I need to do better next time)
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