Title: (You Must) Grow to Love Secrecy (2/5-6)
Warnings: Potential spoilers for entire series and future episodes (yay head-canon ideas and guesswork!) Also, the comics, because they can actually tell us things.
Note: Dear God, readers and reviewers, I love you. Honestly, you are unbearably amazing and awesome. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. And I'm serious: I LOVE YOU!
On a personal note, I apologize with every fiber of my being for this being so late. It's been a long time coming, I know. I' got stuck and there's college and my own book so priorities. Unfortunately, because I've taken so long, we're pretending that nothing happened since the Impulse episode.
Title taken from "When I like people immensely I never tell their names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy." A quote by Oscar Wilde. Tim and Dick would have really appreciated Impulse having done that.
Check end of story for about a billion more notes.
Summary: It made sense to let the newest (and arguably craziest) Team members initiate Impulse. Kind of. Where Beast Boy, Blue Beetle, Robin, and Wonder Girl write a survival guide on Superboy, mangos, and not blowing up buildings, (unless they deserve it).
Disclaimer: I don't own, I'm unlucky like that.
Character fonts and ink:
Beast Boy-green ink, Blue Beetle-blue ink, (Robin)-red ink, Wonder Girl-orange ink
FF keeps deleting the formatting so sorry if something is missing.
Various excerpts from the letter D.
Topic: Daily Planet
There are reasons why you're picking some of these, right? Like, you're using your super Bat-Powers to determine them. Or voodoo?
Beast Boy, you can at least let him write before getting involved and pushy.
Sorry.
Robin Summary: The Team is still used for covert missions and does not handle press the same way that the Justice League does. Furthermore, all conversations with reporters are screened through the League's public affairs officer and interim press liaison Catherine Cobert. The relatively few interviews or press releases that have gone out have been exclusive to the Daily Planet. Superboy is particularly devoted and protective of this institution for a variety of reasons, none of which shall be brought up or pointed out.
I see what you mean Beast Boy; telling Impulse not to talk to reporters was not worth the time.
SORRY! T-man, make her stop.
Making you stop might be easier.
And more fulfilling.
Why is this pick on Beast Boy day?
(Because you started with pick on Robin day? Besides, we voted about what we'd include in the book.)
We did?
(I recall you and Wonder Girl flipping through the channels and bursting into a chorus of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan as we settled letters D through H.)
That was an epic day though.
That was an epic video though.
There's video of that? BLUE!
Hey, what was that story behind T-man? Let's focus on that.
(Let's not.)
Topic: Dakota
Which one, there are two.
(The city.)
There's a city named Dakota?
Professors and other brilliant people waste hours teaching you, and you don't know geography?
I'm sorry Sassy Girl, which one of us got grounded for our grades last month?
I'm eagerly waiting for you to flunk your high school classes.
I'm eagerly waiting for Robin to tell us more about Dakota.
Why?
Liar.
(Blue and I should have just done this on our own.)
Is Dakota in a Dakota?
I can't find it on a map…
Oh yeah, mad geography skills in action over here. Ha-(random squiggles)
(Wonder Girl, stop hitting Beast Boy with his pen.)
Fine.
Jerk.
(I didn't say to give it back to him.)
There are a bunch of people you've yet to meet in Dakota, Impulse. Just wait.
Careful Boy Wonder, Blue's doing your job for you.
(Wonder Girl…And Blue, he's met Rocket, at least.)
OW! Stop hitting me with my own pen.
Stop stealing it back!
Topic: Designation
Robin Summary: Designation is a unique letter-number combination that proves both identity and conformation from the computer that the owner of the designation is allowed access to the various tools and resources we have at our disposal.
Role Call! Beast Boy- B19
Wonder Girl-B21
Blue Beetle-B22
(Robin-B20)
Drumroll….
Impulse!
(B23.)
Welcome to the team buddy!
We're going to do the special initiation activity the first time we hear the designation, officially, at least.
(Yes, they will.)
Oh, no, you don't. We're a team. You're doing it too!
(I am not doing the dance.)
Robin, you're going to dance and like it.
(No, I'm not.)
Yes. You are.
Seconded.
We took a vote. You lose. You dance.
Are you still upset about last time and what Nightwing did?
(He recorded it and woke me up to the music every morning for three months!)
We know. I speak for everyone when I tell you we're upset we weren't involved in this.
(Impulse accidentally gave away my secret identity yet he is now my favorite.)
OH MY GOD, WHERE WAS I?
I was there, I was there!
Just tell me it's an embarrassing name.
No, don't! Batman will come back eventually and make you a pelt.
This never happened, dudes, I don't wanna die.
(I've lost all control of the situation.)
When did you have it?
(I want you all to know, I'm only continuing writing in this for Impulse.)
Aw, that's sweet, best friends forever already?
We're going to ruin Impulse and the future with this, aren't we?
Yup.
Mhmm
Alright, bring on the end of the world party!
Various excerpts from the letter E.
Topic: Earthlings
Robin Summary: (a block of text crossed out in green ink)
No. Come on, no.
(Excuse me?)
Beast Boy?
We're doing a topic on Earthlings. In what twisted world do we have to cover our species?
(Aren't we in the middle of an alien invasion?)
He's got you there, hermano.
Yeah, yeah he does.
So, what are we doing? Talking about who's an Earthling and who isn't? It's kind of obvious guys.
(Except for Secretary General Tseng on the mission Wonder Girl was a part of. And Blue, remember Bibbo and his diner? You're right though, no need to explain more.)
In case it hasn't become obvious, Robin inherited his brother's mouth!
(I didn't mean it as sarcasm.)
Sure you didn't. I'm on to you.
Most of the following passage is covered in post it notes of various colors.
On the front side of the page lies a yellow post it note with dark blue ink: My baby bird, making me so proud. Batgirl said he'd never turn out like me but I had faith!
An orange post it note below: Dude! He was awesome before he met you and only got better because of my influence. As a speedster and not a bat, I taught him how to go out in sunlight and disrespect authority.
Yellow note: Is he going around as Kid Flash? No! My influence dominates yours. And yeah, he's so hostile and undisciplined, last meeting he stopped standing at attention for a full five seconds.
Orange note: Poor kid, he'd fall asleep if he didn't, having to listen to your lectures. And he can if he wants to! Not like Impulse took the name. I'm adopting him.
Yellow note: No, you're not, we've had this argument twenty times by now
Orange note: I challenge you! Same rules as last time.
Yellow note: Bring it, I've won all the other times.
Orange note: Because you are a shameless cheater who cheats.
Yellow note: If I beat you in rock, paper, scissor when I don't have super speed, I'm not the problem.
Purple note: Aw, poor Robin, mommy and daddy are fighting over him again. Would you idiots knock it off? Nightwing, he came as he is, it's not something you did. KF, shut up. God, it's like I'm watching a custody battle only no one is saying anything clever.
Orange note: Yeah mommy, knock it off, you heard Batgirl.
Yellow note: I'm going to write my own book full of your secrets and give it to Impulse. How's that for influencing the next generation?
Orange note: You wouldn't dare! Yes you would. Damn it, dude.
(HOW DO YOU KEEP TAKING THIS FROM ME?)
Topic: Ellie's
Robin Summary: The local amusement park. At least three members have been banned there under seven different aliases. Please do not bring Beast Boy in animal form.
One time. And no one even remembers.
The scorch marks are still around the carousel.
I thought they had a merry-go-round.
It's the same thing.
(No, it's not. Carousels go counter-clockwise while merry-go-rounds are clockwise.)
How do you know these things?
(It's not common knowledge?)
No. No. What do they teach you guys in Gotham schools? Trivia knowledge and making up your own words 101?
When did you start making up your own language?
He didn't.
Nightwing?
(Yeah.)
Nightwing as Robin was a thing of beauty. You have no idea.
(Well, if anyone would know, it would be you.)
Why would Beast Boy know?
(He's known him longer than I have.)
How did that happen? Did your parents not tell you about the superhero business until you dramatically found out? Was there a teary reunion with Batman?
I think we'll all be in tears if he found out you put it that way Wonder Girl.
Nightwing knew my mom. That's all. Let's drop it.
Sure man.
Of course BB
Topic: Equality
Robin Summary: Coming from the future, you'll be accustomed to a different set of societal norms. In the back of the book, I've included summaries of various legal and political movements and what they mean to various genders, cultures, and people of the world.
Who thought to include this? This was a good idea.
Well, obviously not us, I was watching Mulan.
Robin and I did actually.
No, really?
(You weren't there.)
I can hear the long suffering tone in the pages.
You should see his face whenever he tells the story about when we met Impulse. I'm voting we take bets whether or not the vein in his forehead finally bursts.
(I don't have a vein in my forehead that does that.)
Batman trained him better than that. He got de-emotioned when he got the cape.
(You weren't even here when I got the cape.)
How did you anyway? I was around for like a month when you actually showed up.
It's a really boring story everybody and this book is not supposed to be boring! Let's do this and go to the next letter.
Huh? Beast Boy?
Moving on!
Various excerpts from the letter F.
Topic: Flight
I believe I can fly!
I believe I can touch the sky!
Think about it every night and day-
(I don't believe we'll ever finish.)
You're tone-deaf dude. Don't help.
Better than Nightwing. Remember the Christmas party?
That was the best night ever. He and Kid Flash broke three chairs when they fell off the table.
They didn't fall. Batgirl shoved them off with her foot.
Do we have pictures of that?
(Way ahead of you.)
…
(Anyway. I've included a list of the many team members who have the ability to fly. It's important to know for training purposes who can be called upon for aid. I trust you don't need me to explain what flight is.)
Way to assume dude. For all you know, nobody flies in the future.
(You're joking! You complained earlier for explaining but I try to skip one…)
Hermanos, stop tormenting each other. Worse than my brat sister.
Aw, Blue, they're the babies of the group, it's only natural.
(Baby of the group.)
Better being a baby than an airhead. Which one of us got lost in South America last mission?
THAT WASN'T MY FAULT!
No, the map was wrong, am I right?
I will throw you out a window!
I'd like to see you try! We don't even have windows!
(Robin Attachment: Image of Beast Boy dunked underwater by a vengeful Wonder Girl)
Dude, she sat on me and I wanted to die.
Shut up, I'm light as a feather!
Speaking of feathers, let's get back to flying.
Booooooooo!
(At least you tried, Blue.)
You know, I've been thinking.
(Aw, congrats man.)
Don't hurt yourself.
Wouldn't it be cool if we taught someone how to fly?
(No. Not a chance. There would be hospital visits and it would be bad. Very bad. No. Put this idea away.)
We could have an elaborate ceremony.
And we'd have someone else watching to make sure they didn't die.
We'll do it during the full moon.
(You don't need a moon cycle!)
Quiet Robin, you have no vote in this. You can't fly.
Not yet he can't.
We'll teach him and then Impulse.
(I can't fly!)
Wrong attitude.
Don't you trust us?
(You can't actually teach me how to fly.)
Get a costume that flies and we'll go from there.
(No.)
Beast Boy, get Nightwing.
(No!)
Kid Flash and Batgirl would help too.
(NO!)
Alright, everyone grab an adult and meet on the beach in twenty.
(I'm going back to Gotham and writing this myself.)
Kid Flash will come get you.
(You're dead to me.)
Topic: Flash
Various lines of dialogue that do not relate to the Flash subject….
Robin's everyone's favorite, that's why he doesn't get sent on the stupid missions.
That's not actually a good thing, is it?
(Still here guys.)
Robin goes on the missions he goes on. No other reason.
So how are we going to explain the Flash? Robin summary time!
(No need. I've included a transcript of question and answers from Nightwing and Kid Flash to explain the situation. Everyone prepare for the letter G.)
Aye Aye boss-man.
What were those again?
This is going to go great.
Oh hey, how did the Nightwing-Kid Flash thing go anyway?
(I don't know. They sealed the envelope but they swore on their favorite foods that it was legitimate, so I trust them.)
KF's and Nightwing's Q and A
NW: Did you write this yourself?
KF: Robin helped.
NW: Robin started this off with "I, the great and all-knowing Kid Flash, being the only one suited for the job, am here to guide the younger generation into not making a Greek Tragedy of the present!"
KF: Yes, that is exactly how he started it.
NW: Help us Wally-Wan Kenobi, you're our only hope?
KF: He gets me.
NW: We should have gotten Batgirl to do this.
KF: Hey, she and Artemis are pretty free right now. Let's just have them sit down with the kid and do it. We'll get food.
NW: Better he learn to fear them now. Excellent plan.
KF: How freaked will Tim be?
NW: We'll lie and say we did it. Besides, they'll handle it better.
KF: True. What's Alfred made for dinner anyway?
NW: Who cares? It's Alfred.
KF: Touché.
Final note: Short and not nearly as fun as the earlier chapter, but I'm hoping I'll get back into the swing of things soon enough. Sorry though, next chapter should be better. The words for this chapter weren't the best. Anyway, I've tried to include certain elements in the story that will play a role later on, specifically Beast Boy having Tim's back in the form of knowing about Jason Todd and wanting to gloss over it.
So we're all denying the show ended, right?
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