#19- Friendship

They never stood a chance.

He overwhelmed their defenses, destroyed their offenses, blew through an airlock, and glowered at them as they trembled. Eyes narrow, antenna erect, claws spread, every inch of him was the epitome of the fearsome Irken warrior. They were right to cower before him! Of course they tried to beg his pardon and plead and pretend they didn't know their offenses, but he silenced that with a snort. "You have something that belongs to me," he growled and their eyes widened.

They didn't argue, didn't protest, only led him down to the holding cells without a word. When the trembling fool that led him took too long to open the door he ripped it off its hinges and threw it down the hall. The fools turned and fled.

Out of the cell stepped Dib who stared at the alien with slack jawed surprise on his face. Zim inspected the human carefully with his eyes, judging what ills had befallen him in his captivity. The human was dirtier then the last time he'd seen him, clothes ripped, hair all askew. A little thinner then before he also sported a bruise that almost covered half his face, swelling up so badly he couldn't see out of his left eye. But it was a far cry different then what Zim had imagined on his way to the ship. There was no choking sobs or rotting wounds or last gasping breaths so the alien sighed. It wasn't in relief, mind you, it was just a sigh. Maybe a sigh of disappointment since none of those horrible things had happened to the Dib, but nothing else.

"Z-Zim!?" The human seemed to have finally found his voice. "What are you doing her-"

CRACK!

Zim slapped the human. It was a hard slap, one that sent the Dib to the ground, vision blurring, clutching at the three long gashes Zim's claws had given him. Perhaps it had been too hard, the alien reflected, for the human made no real attempt to get back to his feet so Zim was forced to go to him. Grabbing the human by the back of his trench coat, claws digging in and through the soft leather, he began to drag the human back to the airlock where his ship waited.

The human recovered midway there, and the rest of the journey was spent with Zim dragging a shouting, struggling, protesting, and swearing male down the halls. Never giving him time to find his feet and stand, Zim unceremoniously tossed Dib into his ship and forcefully buckled the human into the seat he'd jury-rigged in the cruiser just for him. Then, after letting loose a rain of laser fire to make sure those fools never did something like this again, he blasted them both into space.

They were passing Neptune when the human finally stopped shouting and struggling, and finally calmed down enough to start pouting. "You didn't have to hit me like that," he muttered sullenly.

Eyes narrowing and gazing straight ahead, Zim didn't care to grace that comment with a reply.

Sighing heavily, Dib settled more comfortably into his seat and crossed his arms. "So why did you come rescue me anyway?" he asked, staring at a random spot on the wall.

Silence filled the pod.

Dib looked over at the alien. "Zim? Are you sick or something?"

More silence.

"I mean, you haven't said a word this entire time. That's not like you." This was true, usually the alien was always raving about something even if it was just to himself. In this situation Dib fully expected Zim to start raving about how pathetic the human was, and how he could never measure up to even the most pathetic of Irkens, and not to touch anything, and how much better Irken technology was, and any number of other things. When the alien continued to say nothing, Dib frowned, a concerned look crossing his face. "Did Gaz rip out your vocal cords or something?"

"The Gaz-sister has nothing to do with this," Zim finally growled, punching away at the computer consol even though the coordinates for Earth were already set and there was nothing more to do.

Dib snorted in disbelief. "Right. Look Zim, just because you got bullied into saving your worst enemy by a little girl doesn't mean you have to-"

"SHUT UP!" Zim shouted, leaping up on his feet and turning around so he could see the human over the back of his chair. "You have NO idea what you've done!"

Glaring, slightly relieved that things were getting back to normal, Dib shot back, "I know perfectly well what I've done! Those stupid aliens told me every time they dragged me off that this was all because I broadcasted that Metallica CD into space and-"

Zim interrupted the human again by plunging his claws into his seat and ripping out a chunk of stuffing before tearing it to shreds. "That had nothing to do with this!" he yelled. "Those STUPID Florgians have nothing to do with this! It's just you! It's all YOUR FAULT!"

"What is?" Dib asked a little breathlessly, his face going pale. Oh God… What could have happened?

Not bothering to reply, Zim whirled back around, sitting back in his seat so Dib could only see the tips of his antenna. "You weren't there," he finally said after a long moment.

"Weren't there? Weren't there for what!?"

"Weren't there to stop me of course!"

Dib felt his heart stop. No… "You… You destroyed Earth?"

Slapping himself on the forehead, Zim whirled around again. "NO YOU STUPID WORM-BABY! You weren't there! My most BRILLIANT evil plan and you never came to stop me! I waited for you. I waited for you for a WEEK and you NEVER CAME! I think you're dead and go to the Gaz to find out who destroyed you and she tells me that you were ABDUCTED! ABDUCTED!!! You pissed off some STUPID aliens from who cares where, got abducted, and you were too STUPID to escape yourself so you could come STOP ME!!!"

Blinking up at Zim while the alien panted for breath after his rant, Dib clocked his head to one side. "So, the Earth is safe, right?"

"Yes," Zim sighed.

"And your evil plan?"

The alien glared at him. "The window for that opportunity ended two days ago. It cannot be completed."

Victory for Earth! Dib almost shouted those words, but the look on Zim's face told him he'd probably be thrown out of the ship if he did. "So why did you save me?"

"Weren't you listening! You never came!!"

Dib blinked. "So you saved me so I could stop you?"

"YES!"

"That seems kinda… weird. I mean, you do still want to destroy the Earth, right?"

Zim's chest swelled up with pride. "It's my mission."

"And I'm the only thing that stands in your way, right?"

"That's correct, Dib-stink."

"So why save the one person you need to get rid of to complete your mission? Because I wasn't there?"

"Exactly."

"Oh. Okay."

Pleased, that Dib had finally gotten it, Zim sat back down and pretended to be doing something that needed to be done. Dib stayed quiet, thinking, until they got to where Mars had once been then cleared his throat to attract Zim's attention. "So does this mean we're friends?"

"Human, I will slowly rip out your organs one by one and feed them to you if I ever hear such nonsense out of your stink-hole ever again."

"Okay," Dib said, but he grinned the rest of the trip home. He even managed to stay smiling when Zim tried to throw him into the electric fence outside of his home before the alien flew off in disgust.

It felt good to be needed.

I should be studying for my Highway Design Midterm right now...

Next up: Yeah... I don't know why I'm trying to predict that anymore...