Author's notes: I'm sorry if Fury isn't as in-character as he could be, I don't know much of his character beyond the movie, and he turned out to be more like he is in Earth's Mightiest Heroes.
Also, the video referred to in this chapter is a youtube video called Dope Zebra, by Rhett and Link. I don't own it, disclaimer. Check it out, it's funny!
Fury was pleased. He was very pleased. Not only had he arranged for the Avengers to do some training exercises in a top secret facility in Nevada, he had somehow arranged for all of the Avengers to do some training exercises in a top secret facility in Nevada. All being the key word here.
"It's nice to see you all could make it," He said, looking around at the team, letting his eyes linger for a moment on Stark. It must have been a good idea to let the Captain talk to him, instead of giving the order himself.
"In a few moments, you'll go through these doors and into the dome, and we'll begin the simulation. I'll be in the control room, watching, so don't get any funny ideas."
Once again, he let his gaze rest on Stark for a moment longer. Stark didn't seem to mind, in fact, he simply smirked at the director.
Fury was now uneasy, although still fairly confident in his ability to control the young superhero.
"Stark," he said. "I don't want you messing with this exercise. Hand over your phone."
Stark smiled, but handed his phone to Fury without a complaint.
"And your other one," Fury said. Stark handed a second phone to Fury, who pocketed both. "Watch," He said next. Stark undid the clasp of his watch and handed the tech to Fury.
"Johnson," Fury called, summoning forward a young man who eyed the billionaire warily. He was carrying a metal detector. "Do the sweep."
"Fury," Tony started, but Fury held up his hand.
"I'm not taking any chances," he said. "Hold out your arms."
"But Fury..." Tony said again.
"Stark, for the last time, hold out your arms."
The corner of Tony's mouth twitched, but he obeyed and held out his arms. No sooner had the wand been held even close to Tony and it began to beep madly.
"Alright, Stark," Fury said, holding out his hand. "Hand whatever it is you've got over to me."
"First off, I'd like to point out that what you just said is probably the stupidest thing I've heard in a while," Tony said. "For all you know, I could have a bomb, or a gun, or the smallpox."
"The smallpox?" Steve asked, raising his eyebrows.
"I don't care what it is you've got," Fury said, ignoring the Captain. "You're not taking it into the simulation."
"Then I'm afraid I'll have to sit this one out," Tony said, smirking. "Because I'm not going in there without it."
"Yes, you are," Fury said. "You're going in there and whatever it is is staying out here. Now hand it over."
Tony sighed. "Fine," he said. Unbuttoning a few buttons in the middle of his shirt, he reached in, and with a click, the Arc Reactor was out and placed in the hands of Fury, who stared at it for a moment.
"Tony," Bruce said uneasily, also staring at the Reactor.
Tony smirked. "Relax," he said. "I've got roughly three minutes. I just hope we can get through the exercise in that time. Let's get going."
He started towards the doors leading into the simulation dome, but was stopped by a growling Fury.
"Put it back in," He ordered angrily. "And no more funny business if you know what's good for you."
"Aw, Fury," Tony said, but there was a trace of breathlessness in his calm tone. "You're getting soft. I knew you cared about me." He took the Arc Reactor and clicked it back into place. "That's one of the downsides to all this," He commented as he buttoned his shirt back up. "Metal detectors go crazy around me."
Fury wasn't satisfied that Tony wouldn't pull something, however, and made very sure that the billionaire was not in possession of any more electronics.
"Jeez, Fury," Tony said after awhile as Fury had a man check out the soles of the Italian shoes. "I came here on your orders to do team-bonding and target practice. Will you stop being paranoid that I'll sneak in some piece of technology and let us get this over with already?"
Fury finally let the team suit up and go through the doors, and took the elevator up to the control room.
By the time he got there, everything was chaos.
"Wha-" he sputtered, stunned at what was happening in the simulation dome.
The entire Jungle environment was burning, entire portions of it already burnt away completely. Rock music was blasting through the loudspeakers, and all of the training lasers that were supposed to fire randomly at the Avengers were instead shooting in a dazzling pattern, creating a spectacular light show, deflecting off the few mirror-surfaces in the dome, flashing on and off in time to the music.
The security cameras were spinning wildly, unable to film anything at all. The panicked voices of the people in the control room got his attention, and he looked around to see what they were freaking out about.
None of the monitors displayed what they were supposed to. Every single screen showed what appeared to be a Youtube video of two guys in a zebra costume, dancing hip-hop in a backyard. The people trying to regain control of their computers seemed to not want to touch their keyboards.
"What happened!?" Fury demanded. Whatever it was, he knew who was responsible. He just wanted to know how it had happened.
"It's Stark, sir," One brave man said. "He's overridden all controls, and he's somehow managed to make it so the equipment is charged. We can't touch it without being electrically shocked."
"Yes, but how did he manage it!?" Fury all but yelled.
One of the people glanced at Fury. "Permission to speak, sir?" She asked.
He nodded. "I want answers," He said.
"He's wearing his suit," She said simply, watching for Fury's reaction.
How on earth had he forgotten about that? He could take away phones and watches and he could check the soles of Tony's shoes, but the moment Tony had activated the Ironman suit, the entire base was at his mercy.
Fury was angry. Mostly because he should have seen this coming, but also because Stark was making a fool of him. Again.
"Is the intercom charged?" He demanded, turning to a SHIELD agent sitting next to the com. The agent eyed it warily, before reaching over and touching it. Nothing happened.
"No sir," the agent said with relief, handing the com to Fury, who took it and turned it on.
"STARK!" He yelled into it, looking through the window into the dome below. The six Avengers hadn't even left the doorway, they all stood still, watching the light show.
The music turned down, although it was still playing loudly. Then Tony's voice came over the intercom.
"Yes sir?" He asked innocently.
"Don't give me any of that," Fury growled. "Would you care to explain exactly why you saw fit to destroy my simulation dome, electrocute my agents, and commandeer my monitors and lasers?"
"Before I answer that, I have a question for you," Tony's voice said. "Would you care to explain exactly why you saw fit to use my simulation dome as a means to control us, lecture my teammates even though they do their jobs flawlessly, and commandeer my cell phones and watch?"
Fury was, if you'll excuse the pun, furious. The worst part of it was, he knew Stark was right. Stark had no business being right. The man was bigheaded enough as it was. "That's simple, Stark," he said. He knew he was treading thin ice; but he'd had a bad day and simply didn't care any more. "You need control. You've gotten sloppy. All of you. That last mission was a disaster. If no one continues to keep you in check, the world might stop considering you heroes, and they'll treat you like the menaces you're being right now."
"Sloppy, eh?" Tony said. "Natashalie," he said, turning to Natasha, who was standing next him, looking amused. "How about you show Fury how sloppy we really are."
Natasha blinked, then the corner of her mouth twitched. Without even looking at the window leading to the control room, she pulled a knife out of who knows where and with a twist of her wrist, it went flying through the air, going impossibly fast, and traveled the entire distance of the simulation dome. With a small thunk, it embedded itself in the inch-thick bullet-proof glass, sending cracks traveling throughout the window, the tip of the knife just protruding the glass, right in front of Fury's face.
"Listen up, Fury," Tony's voice came through the intercom. "You don't control The Avengers. We're not your employees. Right now, we just have an agreement of sorts. You handle the intel and the paperwork, and we let you give us tips on which threats you want eliminated before they hit you back too hard. Don't wreck it by playing boss. We're more than capable of running ourselves."
"Is that a threat?" Fury demanded.
"Only if you decide to make it one," Tony shot back without skipping a beat. "Don't forget exactly who it is you hired, Fury. You've got six extremely powerful superheroes, none of whom have always been on your side in the past. You've got Hawkeye and Black Widow, your one-time top agents. Didn't manage to keep hold of them. You've got a Norse god who wouldn't think twice about nailing you on the head with his fancy hammer if you say something against his mama. You've got me, the Merchant of Death. And you still haven't gotten rid of the Hulk cage, have you? That just shows how much you trust Bruce."
Next to him, Bruce chuckled. "They still haven't got rid of that thing?" He asked in amusement.
Tony smirked. "Nope," he said. "They've been trying to keep it hushed up. I let 'em think they were succeeding."
"Do you all second Stark's opinions?" Fury asked into the intercom. Whatever he was, Fury wasn't stupid. He knew what it could mean to lose the Avenger's allegiance. He needed to play it safe. Perhaps he had gotten too careless.
The Avengers all looked at each other, silently asking if they agreed.
It was actually Steve who spoke up, much to Fury's surprise.
"Director Fury, sir," he said. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that we're not trying to make an enemy out of SHIELD. That's the last thing we want. As long as we're both on the same side, it would be wiser for both of us if we worked together. I think that what Tony's trying to say, even if he's going about it the wrong way..."
Here, Tony smirked and looked pointedly at the Captain, who gave a small embarrassed smile in return before continuing to talk to Fury. "What he's trying to say," he repeated. "Is that SHIELD and the Avengers work together, as equals, we don't just follow you blindly."
Fury had to admit, the Captain had a way with words. He had managed to stand by his team and keep on SHIELD's good side at the same time, as well as diffusing a potential situation of outright rebellion that they had seemed to be heading towards.
Secretly, Fury was pleased. This was a team, a real team. They were no longer a squad of mismatched people who didn't work well together. They were a team who truly thought, spoke, and acted as one. Plus, Tony didn't seem to be too upset that the Captain had stepped up and spoken as the leader. In fact, if Fury was judging the expression on the billionaire's face correctly, Tony Stark was just as pleased as Fury himself was.
"Very well," Fury said. He needed to handle this right, but he also needed to maintain that he was the Director, and not someone to be toyed with. "Thank you Captain. I'm sorry you all feel that way. Now, since Stark decided to blow up his simulation dome, there's no point in all of you staying here. Dismissed."
As the Avengers all left, Fury turned to his agents, who were all looking at him nervously. "Well!?" He demanded. "Get to work! We have to figure out how to regain control of the lasers and the security cameras. Johnson, call maintenance about the fire in the simulation dome. And will someone please get rid of that dancing zebra?!"
He turned and looked at the ruined jungle scene, sighing. It would take months to get it back to normal. He would have to reschedule all exercises until then.
He felt a smirk lift the corner of his mouth, but kept it well hidden from the agents in the room. Stark sure knew exactly how to get what he wanted.