Natasha Romanoff was not the type of person to get easily irritated at silly pranks or sarcastic comments. She had taught herself to be completely and utterly unfazed by anything anyone threw at her, and she found it silly that the others had all been brought down by Tony's "Starkasm" at all.
She would be a different story. Try as he might, Tony Stark would never get her to the point of sheer desperation that each of the other Avengers had fallen prey to. She liked to think she was an impenetrable fortress, entire armies could come at her with everything they had and she would remain unbroken.
But then Tony Stark found the one weak spot in her walls.
She really didn't know exactly how he'd found out about that particular weakness, she hadn't even known it existed herself. But it was there, and he exploited it.
And what is the legendary Black Widow's one weakness, you ask? Songs from animated fairy tales. Sung repeatedly. Over and over again. From 3:00 in the morning 'till noon two days later. With no reprieve.
Apparently, Tony hadn't been able to sleep on the night in question. So he'd decided to turn on the TV and Aladdin was playing. Without anything better to do, he'd watched it.
So Natasha, having trained to be a light sleeper so she could be up and about at a moments notice, woke up to the sound of Tony Stark singing quietly to himself as he passed her door.
"I can show you the world, take you wonder by wonder, over, sideways, and under on a magic carpet ride..."
"Stark," she said, stepping from her room and into the hallway outside. He turned and glanced at her, obviously not entirely there. "Hmm?" He asked. Natasha took a deep breath. "Why are you singing at 3 in the morning?"
"Huh? Oh!" He said, coming back down to earth from wherever his mind had been moments before. "It was just stuck in my head, that's all." He smirked. "Why, does it bother you?"
Natasha glared. "No," she lied automatically. But she saw the glint in the billionaire's eyes that showed her emotions had betrayed her. Stupid emotions.
"Oh, well then," Tony said, turning away and continuing his walk down the hall. "A whole new woooooorld, a dazzling place I never knew. No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming..."
Natasha let out a deep breath and closed her door as the sound faded away down the hallway. She'd observed what had happened with the others, Tony was stubborn and relentless, he would push and push and push and push and push and push and push until he'd won and his opponent gave.
But not her. Never her. She had survived countless interrogations without so much as a single erratic heartbeat. She'd trained hard for four days straight without so much as a groan. She'd even killed countless people, loathe as she was to admit it, without a blink of her eye. She could survive Tony's petty attempts at teasing.
"A dreeeaam is a wiiiiiish your heart maaaaakes... wheeen you're faaaast asleeeeeeeep..."
Natasha woke up irritated, the song playing over the intercom in the tower. She'd been dreaming about magic carpets and genies and lamps since the encounter that morning, and "A Whole New World" had been playing in her head the whole time. She sighed as she rolled out of bed and began to get ready for the day. She could handle this.
"Soooome daaaaaay, my prince will come, soooooome daaaaaay my prince will come..."
Natasha looked up from her breakfast at Tony, who was singing along with the soundtrack in between bites of cereal, much to the confusion and irritation of the rest of the team.
"Tony, why are you playing that? Can't you turn it off?" Steve asked. Tony smirked. "Eh, it's just a song that's stuck in my head," he said. "It's totally harmless." Natasha ignored him and took a bite of cereal. No big deal.
"There goes the baker with his tray like always, the same old bread and rolls to seeeeeell. Every morning just the same, as the morning that we came, to this poor provincial town, (good morning, Belle)..."
Natasha pointedly ignored the music blaring into the training room as she practiced. She was fine.
"I want to be where the people aaaaare... I want to see, want to see them dancing, walking around on those- what do you call 'em? Oh, feet. Flipping your fins, you don't get too faaaar... legs are required for jumping, dancing, strolling along down a- what's that word again? Streeeeeeeeet..."
Natasha didn't even blink as she passed Tony in the hallway. He could go on all day.
"And at last, I seeeee the liiiiiiiiiight, and it's like the world has shifted... and at last I seeeeee the liiiiiiiiiiiight, and it's like the sky is neeeeew and it's warm and real and briiiiiiiiight, and it's like the fog has liiiiiiiiiifted..."
Natasha even so much as smirked at Tony across the lunch table. She would never give in.
"So this is love, mmm hmm mmm hmm, so this is loooooove... So thiiiiiiis is what makes liiiiife diviiiiine... I'm all aglow, mmm hmm mmm hmm, and know I know...(and now I know) The keeeeey to all heaven is miiiiiiiiine..."
Natasha felt a surge of annoyance at the echo. But she didn't show any form of annoyance. All of her training had prepared her for this.
"I wondeeeer... I wondeeeer... I wondeeeer why eeeeach little biiiird has a someone... To siiiiiing toooo... sweeeet thiiiiings tooooo... A liiiiiight little looooove melodyyyyyy-yyyyyyyy..."
Natasha skipped dinner, she was alone, so she could have released some of this irritation, but she couldn't be sure JARVIS wouldn't rat her out, so she ignored the song.
"Waaaatch aaaand you'll seeeeeeeeeeeeeee, someday I'll beeeeeeeeeeeee... paaaaart oooof yoooour wooooooooooooooooooooooorld!"
Natasha rolled over and looked at the clock, it was 2:49 in the morning. This had been going on for a whole 24 hours. How long would Tony last?
"Yoooooooour motheeeer and miiiiiiiiiiiiine... yooooooooooour motheeeeeer and miiiiiiiiiiiiiine. What makes mothers all that they aaaaaaaaare, might as well ask, what maaaaaakes a staaaaaaar..."
The rest of the Avengers had found out what was going on, and now as they all sat around eating breakfast, they were silent, glancing between Tony and Natasha, snickering. It added an extra pinch of annoyance to the situation, but it just made her resolve stronger. She would come out on top.
"Wheeeen Youuu wiiiish upoooon a staaaaar, maaaaakes nooooo differeeeence whoooo yooooou aaaaaare. Anythiiiiing yooooour heaaaart desiiiiired will cooooooooooome tooooooooooooo yooooooooooooooou..."
This could go on forever, Natasha would. Not. Crack.
"Ever just the saaaaaaame, ever a surpriiiiiiiiiiiise, ever as before, everr just as sure, as the sun will riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise..."
Natasha rolled her eyes. This was getting tedious. But she still wasn't giving up.
"She's always try'n ta get me to play dress up, she's always flirting with the palace guards.' 'I think you really sorta like her, 'fess up!' 'I'd like her better if she'd lose at cards. Four sevens and a ten.' 'I think I've won again.' 'Every time she's woooooooon.' 'This is my idea' '(This isn't our idea)' 'of fun!"
This song was being sung from three different points of view. If Natasha had admitted to listening, she would have been able to tell you that it was sung from the point of view of a prince and a princess whose parents were trying to get them together, and the prince's young friend. But she wasn't listening. Natasha wouldn't listen to Tony's songs.
"Neeeeeeew, and a bit, alarmiiiiing, who'd have ever thooooought thaaaaaaat thiiiiiiiiiis coooooould beeeeeee. Truuuuuuuue, that he's no prince charmiiiiiiiing, but there's something in him that I simply didn't seeeeeeeee..."
Natasha's eye twitched involuntarily. For a second, she was stunned. She never showed a sign of weakness. Ever. Tony smirked and raised his eyebrows, as the song continued. Natasha recovered quickly. How had she let slip? She would have to try harder.
"IIIIIIIIII knooooooooooooooow yoooooooooou I walked with you ooooooonce upooooooon a dreeeeeeeeeeeeam, IIIIIIIIIII knooooooooow yooooooooooou that gleam in your eeeeeyes is sooooo familiar a gleam..."
It had gotten to the point where the rest of the Avengers were severely annoyed at the music, and they kept trying to get her to slip up and let Tony win. But she was stronger than them. She would not break.
"Shalalalalala my oh my, looks like the boy too shy, ain't gonna... kiss the girl. Shalalala ain't that sad, ain't it a shame, too bad, he's gonna... miss the girl."
Natasha, who was training in the training room, hit the bag so hard that her wrist jolted in pain. As she examined it to see if there were any injuries, she almost welcomed the diversion.
"Robin Hood and Little John, walkin' through the forest, laughin' back an' forth at what the other'n had to say... reminiscin' this-n'-that'n havin' such a good time, Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly what a day..."
"What happened to your hand?" Bruce asked her.
"Nothing," she said. "Just a little training mishap. It's fine, nothing a little gauze won't fix."
"Oh," Bruce said. "Well, golly, what a day, huh?"
She glared as he went on his way. If he wasn't so invincible, she would murder him right now.
"I have a dream! (She has a dream!) I have a dream! (She has a dream!) I just wanna see the floating lanterns gleeeeeam, and with every passing hour, I'm so glad I left my tower! Like all you lovely folks I have a dream... (She has a dream, she has a dream, she has a dream) Yes, way down deep inside I have a dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam!"
Natasha, in a moment of shameful weakness, reached up and covered her ears, but the music was too loud to drown out. This. Was. Without a doubt. The worst torture she had ever gone through.
"The sweeeeeeetest souuunds I'll eeeeeever heeeeear, are stiiiiiill insiiiiiiide my heaaaaaad... the kindeeeest wooooords I'll eeeeeever knooooow, are waaaaaiting toooooo be saaaaaid..."
Natasha strode through the halls, burdened with glorious purpose, the music blaring through the loudspeaker as she walked. Not the best music for the mood, but still.
"The moooooost entraaaaaancing siiiiiiight of aaaaaall, is yeeeeet for meeeee to seeeeeee, and the dearest loooooove in aaaaaall the wooooorld, is waaaaaiting somewheeeeeere for meeeee, is waiting somewheeeeeere..."
She had everything ready, she had never given up in her life, if she was going to go out, it would be with style.
"sooooomewheeeeeere foooooor meeeeee..."
She turned the corner and skipped over the stairs, vaulting herself over the railing instead and freefalling until the last floor. Then she caught hold of another railing and swung for a moment before letting go and dropping to the floor with ease.
She could see him, she could see him through the glass on the door, his back was turned to her, and he appeared to be asleep. She felt the corner of her mouth turn up into a small smile. Good, she would wake him up.
"JARVIS, if you know what's good for you, you will open this door," she said. She had the capabilities to get in on her own, but she decided to give the AI a chance to defect first.
"Very well, Agent Romanoff," came the reluctant voice of the AI as the door slid open.
She stalked into the room and glanced at Tony, who was, in fact, asleep, his head on a cluttered desk as if he had fallen asleep while working.
Slowly, silently, with all the skill of a trained assassin, she lifted her hand, her gun, pointing it at her target. Her favorite gun, nothing but the best for this mission. No remorse, no guilt, not even a blink of her eye, a flawless kill, just as it had always been.
She pulled the trigger.
Tony jerked awake at the sound of the bang, and he let out a small gasp of surprise. Then he saw Natasha standing over him. He smiled.
She smiled back. Everything was quiet. Blessed silence rang in her head. She had gone insane from the music, she knew it. Never before had she given up, and it felt so much better than she thought it would.
"I win," Tony said, getting up and walking over to where the mp3 player was plugged into the speaker. The destroyed mp3 player and speaker, that is. A bit of smoke rose up from a few exposed wires and the mp3 player was shattered into a million tiny pieces. With all the skill of a true assassin, Natasha had shot it straight through the center.
"You win," she admitted. "And if I ever hear even the faintest shred of music coming from the intercom again, I will destroy much more than a simple mp3 player. Got it?"
Tony smiled. "Got it," he said. Then he held out his hand. "You were by far my worthiest opponent," he said. "You made it much farther than I would have guessed."
"Thank you," She said with a smile, shaking his hand. "And you are a true master of torture. Have you ever considered giving lessons to the wannabes we capture on a daily basis?"
"Nah," he said with a small laugh. "There are a few company secrets Stark Industries doesn't release to the general public. The ability to successfully break the world's best spy is one of them."
And now time for the bulky disclaimer section! Well, here goes. I do not own Disney's Aladdin. I do not own Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I do not own Disney's Cinderella. I do not own Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I do not own Disney's The Little Mermaid. I do not own Disney's Tangled. I do not own Disney's Sleeping Beauty. I do not own Disney's Peter Pan. I do not own Disney's Pinocchio. I do not own The Swan Princess (and neither does Disney). I do not own Disney's Robin Hood. I do not own Roger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella. Also, disclaimers for a few previous chapters: I do not own Lipton Tea. I do not own McDonalds. I do not own Pepsi. I do not own Coca-Cola. And, finally, and perhaps most importantly, I do not own a Psych coffee mug with a picture of James Roday as Shawn Spencer in his typical finger-to-temple vision pose with an inscription on the cup reading "I've heard it both ways." Yet. My sister is going to get me one for Christmas. But until then, I do not own it.
P.S. this story and disclaimer was written a few months ago, but I waited to post it becuase I wanted to do Fury's chapter first. I would just like to say... my sister gave me that mug for Christmas. It's awesome. I held my finger up to my temple and made my "I got a clue" face while I was unwrapping it. So, I do own a Psych coffee mug with a picture of James Roday as Shawn Spencer in his typical finger-to-temple vision pose with an inscription on the cup reading "I've heard it both ways." I just didn't want to take it out of the disclaimer because it was funny.