#25- Tradition

Blue Christmas...

I'd like to start by stating that I do not hate my brother. He's an annoying, paranoid, game disturbing piece of shit, but I've never hated him for longer then he's deserved. He does get on my nerves though. Especially when he starts raving on about that stupid alien Zim. Like Zim could ever really destroy the world... Heh. He's too stupid to do it and Dib's too stupid to realize it despite all the time that goes by. Thanks to my brother I've been dragged along on dozens of trips into the Earth's outer orbit, hundreds of spy missions, and had to listen to thousands of my brother's rants. However, despite all this, despite how incredibly annoying my brother is and how his voice sometimes causes me physical pain, I've never hated him. But he still annoys the piss out of me. Especially on days like this. Doubly so on days like this. He's just so... so...

Optimistic.

I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Before I can tell you why I'm stuck with no batteries on a dirty airport bench as Dib babbles on about Zim I have to tell you why we're here in the first place. It's all because of tradition you see.

Mom and Dad divorced when I was a baby. He said it was because of postpartum depression. She said it was because she couldn't stand my father never being around anymore. Whatever was the cause Mom walked out when I was two leaving Dib and me with a father who didn't know how to change a diaper much less hold a baby. Growing up a remember a lot of nannies, old ladies with fraying gray hair and a worn out look in their eyes. Then the last nanny quit and Dad tried taking care of us for a change before being distracted by work too badly and leaving the raising up to us. Can't say we did a fantastic job but I still thank God for Dad and his leaving money around the house. I don't think we ever would have survived without food delivery services. Dib could burn water and I've never cared about something so meaningless as cooking.

After Mom and Dad split up Mom was quick to remarry. A lot. The woman managed ten marriages in nine years before finally settling down enough to stay married long enough to a rich old fart to inherit his money after he died. Wealth seemed to suit Mom. She finally had everything she wanted. A luxury apartment in downtown New York, furs, jewelry, vacations to Europe, and an endless string of pretty young boys to amuse herself with. Despite all these distractions though the woman has still kept up with a tradition that makes me loath every day that gets closer to Christmas.

See, while Mom has had no interest in raising Dib or I the woman still wants us around. She likes to parade us in front of her friends to squeal over how smart and wonderful we are then walk off with tears in her eyes to mutter about how terrible Dad is. I think she does it for the attention. For the looks of pity and the words of encouragement she gets whenever she starts to sniffle. Dib of course thinks it's because Mom really misses us because he's an idiot and that's what he wants to believe. It's probably because of him that this stupid tradition has gone on for so long.

Stupid annoying Dib...

When Mom and Dad split, Mom signed away all parental rights on Dib and I. No longer did she have any say about what schools Dad enrolled us in, what religions he forced us to worship, or what beliefs were to be drilled into our heads. Instead she took a cash settlement that lasted her until step-father #1 and never looked back. However, sometime during step-father #1's time Mom changed her mind. She decided that she actually wanted Dib and I a little. Even if she didn't want us for the entire year, that didn't mean she didn't want us at all. So she sued.

Dad caved like... Well, I can't think of anything witty to allude him to he caved so fast. Boom. From seemingly having no mother to all to a mother every other Christmas. That's right.

Every.

Other.

Christmas.

Big change right? Dad should have just told Mom to go to hell. Of course when we were little seeing our mother for a week every other year was never enough but now that I'm older and have better things to do (like Vampire Piggies VI) any amount of time is too much time on that woman. Dib on the other hand... He just had to bring it up didn't he?

I would have been perfectly content with Dad forgetting all about Christmas with Mom this year but three weeks ago Dib goes up to Dad with this smile on his face like something really good is going to happen. Never mind the fact that this is one of Dad's few nights home when he's content to read the newspaper instead of working in the basement lab. Dib just goes up to him and asks if he's bought our plane tickets to Mom's yet. Had to remind him. 'Course Dad had forgotten, but with Dib right there reminding him he wrote a memo to Simmons telling him to get the tickets.

And with that my Christmas was ruined for this year. All because of an idiot brother.

However, this doesn't explain me without batteries waiting with Dib on a bench. I'll spare you the details so let's just say Dib is so dead for forgetting to pack my battery bag and Mom forgot to come get us for three hours. For two hours we sat there, the night air getting progressively colder and colder while he waited. Finally, with his lips blue and his teeth chattering Dib got the bright idea that he might actually have to call Mom to ask her where she was.

An hour later a familiar looking black limo pulls up and instantly Dib is on his feet, a wide grin on his face. Grabbing our bags he runs up as I trail behind only to have his face fall when the door opens and Mom isn't there. Instead it's our mother's slave/personal assistant. She looks far too old to be only thirty with a drawn pale face and her hair pulled back in a tight bun. She instantly sees the disappointment on Dib's face and smiles at us guiltily as she helps us put our luggage in the trunk. "How long were you guys waiting out there?" she asks in a voice that's too tired to be pleasant sounding.

Dib doesn't even want to look at her so I'm forced to answer. "Three hours," I growl, unable to mask the anger in my voice.

The slave winces and slams the trunk shut. "I'm sorry," she whispers as we all get into the limo. She nods for the driver to go. "No one told me you were coming this year."

"We always come this time!" Dib snaps, glaring at her before looking out the window. "This year is Mom's for Christmas. Why wouldn't we come?"

Sinking into her seat, the slave laughs nervously as her eyes dart from Dib to I then back. She opens her mouth to speak then seems to think better of it then blurts out; "Your mother is in the Mediterranean this year with a friend."

Dib and I can't help but stare at her. An empty look between surprise and horror is on Dib's face as I feel my hands slowly close into fists. Suddenly I can only see red as my breath becomes more and more ragged. "Mom went to the Mediterranean!?" I demand and suddenly it's raining outside. The driver swears and turns on the windshield wipers, muttering about global warming. "Why the hell are we even here if Mom couldn't even bother to show up!?"

"I'm sorry." The slave looks about ready to burst into tears. "I can understand if you want to go home. I'll try and get you tickets to fly back first thing in the morning."

"You do that!" I snap then turn to glare out the window. It pours the entire way to Mom's apartment. I watch the slave look guilty and Dib sit very still as he stares at his hands the entire way there. Internally raging I realize that I should have expected this. After all, there's another tradition for Mom's Christmases. One of disappointment.

I hate Christmas.

Two days later then I said it would be, but it's up!

Oh, and cookies for Dibsthe1 and The Shadowy Doom!

Oh, Oh, hopefully my other (more happy) Christmas fic will be up on Saturday, but if not then I'll just scrap it and strive for a New Years story instead. I had come up with a very neat (or at least I thought so) idea for the fic, but it's not translating to paper well so I might just cut my losses and go to Dib in College for a New Years special. Actually, the more I think about it the better idea that sounds since I won't end up insulting anyone with the teasing nature I have in the other Christmas fic... Yeah, I might put up the other Christmas fic but I'd really expect something just before 2007 if I were you.

Thanks very much for reading and may you have a Merry Christmas, Yule, Chanukah, Kwanzaa or whatever else you may celebrate!