THIS IS A ONE SHOT OF HOW I WOULD HAVE LIKED SMASH TO END. HOPE YOU ENJOY. JUST LIKE ALWAYS, I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS.

She couldn't believe he was gone. She and Jimmy had just left Jerry Rand's office where they had been informed Derek resigned as Director and Choreographer of Hit List. He had gone to the police and with their help had managed to tape Daisy's blackmail and the actress would be charged with extortion.

Jimmy was of course was ecstatic to be rid of him; but Karen didn't know what to think. Her first reaction was to assume Jerry had ordered his termination and she was about to berate the producer when he explained he had been equally as shocked. He said Derek was afraid backlash from his actions would harm Hit List and he owed it to everyone not to let that happen. Jerry had also told the two a new director would be named within a few days and Ana would be reinstated as the Diva immediately. Since Daisy had only participated in a few previews, Ana's chances of a Tony would not be hindered.

Stunned Karen left the office with Jimmy in tow. "Hey, you want to grab a late lunch and a drink to celebrate?" he asked.

Upset and not wanting to spend time with Jimmy she declined his offer. "No thanks I'm not in the mood to celebrate."

"Come on, you can't tell me your upset about this?" the composer stated. "Derek is nothing but scum and he deserves everything he got. He would be nothing without me and you. Now that he is gone, skies the limit for us."

"Us?" Karen questioned. "For months you've done nothing but push me away. At one point I came close to groveling yet suddenly now there is an 'us'," she remarked with anger in her voice.

"I see, everything is about you is right? I had just lost my best friend if you remember, so forgive me if I didn't stop to consider your feelings. I was busy trying to get my show to Broadway in honor of him and I couldn't spend time with you."

"No, I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty or ashamed for feeling this way. You forget as a new actor that cameras are everywhere now. So I know you had time, Jimmy. You just chose not to spend it with me. And as for getting to Broadway, you would be no where without Derek and Kyle. All you would have are a bunch of songs."

Enraged by her comments Jimmy overreacted. "Are you fucking him? Is that why you're defending the fact he offered someone a part in order to get them in bed?" he questioned. "He is pathetic and I can't believe you don't see that."

"I'm the pathetic one ," Karen responded "I'm pathetic for pushing the people I care about the most away because I felt some sick need to allow you to constantly humiliate me and cheat on me with the excuse you were high and didn't know what you were doing. I'm pathetic for allowing you to carry and use drugs around me," she exclaimed. "And I'm extremely pathetic to think I actually I loved you," she finished. "There is no 'us' Jimmy we are over," she firmly stated before turning to walk away.

"Go to him; see how long it will be before he moves on from you to the next leading lady. You deserve each other."

Karen could hear Jimmy but ignored him. She had made up her mind and there was only one place she wanted to go right now. She only hoped it wasn't too late. Taking out her phone she made a quick call before hailing a taxi.

…..

The ride up to the Derek's apartment seemed longer than usual today. Karen thought it was perhaps her nerves but either way the minutes of silence were excruciating. Before coming over Karen had made three- way call to Ana and Sam. In recent months after Kyle's death she had become extremely close to Sam and even closer to her already best friend, Ana. She wanted their opinion about Derek. Sam because she didn't want to do anything that would interfere with Ivy and Ana because she needed to make sure she wasn't making a mistake. To her surprise they both agreed that she needed to tell Derek how she felt. Sam told her Ivy had made it clear she and the director were not in a relationship. Ana supported her friend pointing out Derek had done the right thing because of her and clearly if he was willing to give up Hit List, his feelings were sincere. Taking her friends' advice, Karen now found herself about to exit the elevator leading into Derek's apartment.

The director waited for the elevator doors to open before he coldly asked, "What are you doing here? Have you come to gloat over the fact I am so disgusting not even the mother of my unborn child wants anything to do with me?" his accent thick and words slurred from drinking Karen assumed. She saw an open bottle of scotch on his coffee table and an empty glass next to it.

"I came to say I'm sorry," she offered pushing her way passed him. "You've always believed in me and have been the one person who has never lied to me; yet I betrayed you. When you needed me I judged you and walked away," she told him as she took a seat on the sofa.

Derek, who had made his way back to the couch and scotch opposite to where the young woman sat, stilled at her words. An apology was the last thing he had expected or in his mind deserved yet here she was offering one. Not sure how to respond he remained silent attempting to clear his head. Karen seized the opportunity and continued. "I'm also sorry about Ivy; I know you love her," she told him. "She was the woman you were asking about in the bar that night?" her question coming off more as a statement. "You tried to stop things and I pushed you into walking me home. If that's the reason…" her words were cut off midstream.

"Stop, please just stop talking," the director seethed. "Gods, even now you still don't get it," he sarcastically laughed. "Ivy doesn't want to be with me because according to her I'm incapable of change; I will always have a Karen Cartwright, a muse I obsess over." his voice starting to show anger.

"She's wrong," the actress voiced.

He looked up from where his head had been in his hands. His eyes locked with hers, "Is she?" he scoffed. "Isn't that what you thought when I told you I cared for you? You thought I saw you as just another leading lady I wanted to fuck." Karen was ashamed, he was right she had been so blinded by Jimmy that she questioned his motives. She had gone so far as to ask him if he gave her Marilyn based on talent or his desire to sleep with her. How stupid she had been she thought to herself.

Derek saw his words struck a chord so he continued "You know the funny thing is I tried. I wanted to make things work with Ivy. I knew she always cared for me and I wanted the fact I loved her friendship to be enough, but it wasn't. It could never be because she isn't you," his voice almost a whisper.

The brunette was stunned as she took in every word the director said. Rising from her seat she walked around the coffee table so that she was kneeling directly in front of him. She reached for his hands and enclosed them in hers, "It may have taken me awhile to realize that you are what I want and where I belong but I'm here now and I'm not walking away." she asserted placing a kiss on his knuckles.

"Why now?" he questioned "I have nothing to offer as I've probably completely screwed my career and I am going to have a child with someone who you haven't been the closest with. Do you know what impact that can have on your reputation?"

Karen moved to sit next to him still holding his hand. "Do you still care for me?" she asked nervously. "Can you still see us together?"

Not able to find his voice, Derek nodded yes. "Then that's all I need," she smiled. "I don't care if you never work on Broadway again," she assured. "When Jerry Rand told me you resigned, the fact you hadn't talked to me before scared me. I was afraid I'd lost you and the finality of it all made me realize I can't picture my life without you in it. I have been such a fool not to acknowledge what everyone else around me could see. I am the happiest, and I am completely myself when I am with you. You are the one person who makes me feel alive and you constantly challenge me with the truth. I've missed you and I want to be with you."

Derek could feel his heart beating fast and he swore he was going to pass out. "It won't be easy," he motioned between the two of them. "And the media will likely have a field day."

Karen beamed at the fact he was considering giving them a chance "In case you haven't noticed, it seems neither of us goes for the easy route," her remark earned a laugh from the man she deeply cared for. "I'm ready though."

"Ivy plans on keeping the baby," Derek informed the brunette. He wanted her to understand a child would mean the blonde actress would forever be in his life.

"I understand and I will not stand in the way of your relationship with your child or its mother. All I ask is that you not shut me out."

Karen saw Derek relax at her statement. His emerald green eyes locked on hers again "Karen Cartwright, will you be my girlfriend?" he timidly asked.

He studied her expression for an answer when the most beautiful smile he had ever seen graced her face. "Nothing would make me happier. But you have to do something for me."

"Anything," he assured.

"Come back to Hit List."

….

Three months later

"We are going to be late Love," Derek called from the downstairs of their apartment.

"Nice try but I know we still have time," replied the female voice. "Ana and I are almost ready." Derek couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he resumed his place in front of the glass windows. Looking out at the city view he reflected on how quickly his life had changed.

Ana had taken it upon herself to talk to the cast and crew of Hit List about Derek's return and with the exception of Jimmy; everyone agreed he deserved a second chance. While they didn't agree with the director's original decision with regards to Daisy; they had to admit his willingness to lose his job and career in order to set things right showed it had been a mistake. They also acknowledged they would be nothing without his guidance and he deserved to be with them on Broadway. Whatever backlash they agreed to deal with it as a group, it would have been what Kyle wanted. Opening night on Broadway had been one of Derek's proudest moments as he watched his motley crew of talented young actors and actresses make history.

Ivy had made the announcement to leave Bombshell citing personal reasons. She moved to Connecticut with her mother and had remained low key. She still wasn't showing but had informed Derek she had no intention of telling any media he was the father of her child. She also wouldn't be putting Derek's name on the birth certificate. Derek had been upset at first with the decision but Karen had calmed him and told him what was important was that he remained an active participant in his child's birth.

To say Ivy had been upset to learn Derek and Karen were together was an understatement. She had even threatened to keep Derek away from the baby if he stayed with the actress. Sam however talked to the blonde and reminded that the decision to remain single had been hers. He told her she couldn't be using the baby as leverage against Derek as he had the right to be involved and had supported her from the moment he first found out. She wasn't pleased but couldn't argue with her friend. Derek had offered to enter into a relationship and she had said no realizing he would never be in love with her. She realized she needed to let go of her feelings for him and concentrate on her child. She apologized to the director but thought it would be best for now to keep contact to a minimal. She allowed him to accompany her to the sonogram but aside from that appointment, she strictly kept updates through emails. He was excited about the prospect of being a father and even more thrilled that Karen wanted to be involved and had even purchased baby bibs saying 'Daddy's princess' or 'Daddy's Big Boy'.

His concentration was broken by the sound of heels clicking on the stairs. When he turned his breathe was taken away. Karen wore a soft pink gown with a fitted bodice and flowing feather style bottom. Her hair was in a soft bun with loose curls framing her face. In a word she was a goddess and he couldn't keep from staring. His relationship with the brunette had been the biggest change in his life. Never had he imagined enjoying domesticity but being with Karen made him want a family life. He found himself eager to come home and often now based his decision on what Karen would think. He wanted nothing more than be the man she deserved. He was utterly and completely in love.

"Well, what do you think?" Karen asked with uncertainty, the intensity of his stare unnerving her.

Realizing he hadn't said a word he blurted "stunning," as she twirled for him. "Ana you look beautiful as well," he complimented. "I will be the envy tonight walking in with two beauties, he smiled. "Shall we go?"

Tonight would be the couple's first public appearance. There had been rumors but tonight everyone's suspicions would be confirmed. "Are you ready?" Derek asked as the limo pulled up to the red carpet.

"Lead the way Love," Karen teased in her best British accent. Ana stepped out the car first followed by Derek. When Derek turned to reach for Karen's hand and helped the actress out, the media went crazy. Camera's instantly flashed as the director's arm went protectively around his girlfriend's waist and the blushing smile she gave him expressed more than words could ever. "Are you together?" "How long has it been official?"

After several few minutes of answering questions the trio made their way into the Radio City Music Hall. Two and half hours later; all of Broadway knew Hit List was the real deal. Sweeping the Tony's with the exception of best book which Julia won for Bombshell; Hit List was the major winner of the night. When the cast performed 'The Goodbye Song,' with images of Kyle playing in the background there wasn't a single dry eye. He may not have won best book but his work definitely would not be forgotten.

Derek had won for Director, Karen best actress, Ana best featured actress, Sam best featured actor, Jimmy for best score and Hit List for best Musical. It had been a difficult journey but none of the cast members would change it for the world. In that moment watching the love of his life and her friends bask in the thrill of victory; if Derek never directed again he would still be happy. Hit List had given him his life back. He remembered Karen sitting his apartment so many months ago promising Hit List would be worth his time, 'It will be Big' she had told him. Even then he would have done anything for her but how true her prediction had been. Hit List was indeed big.

"What are you thinking about Mr. Wills?" her hot breathe whispered in his ear.

"How much I love you Ms. Cartwright."

Karen beamed from ear to ear "I love you more," her kiss on his lips captured for the world to see. For Derek, her presence by his side had been the biggest prize not only of the night but of his life.