Sorry guys that it's taken me so long to post this chapter! For some reason i've be getting a lot of writing blocks or just haven't had the time. If this sucks i'm sorry :( thanks for the favs/follows and please keep reviewing!

1994, six months before the school shooting

Hisses and whispers floated around the room constantly. There was no way to escape the constant voices murmuring in his ears. Sleeping didn't help, nor did music. Nothing allowed him a small break from the constant torment of his mind.

The sun was starting to edge past the edge of his window, shining into the room and signal that it was time for Tate to wake up. His dry eyes blinked for the millionth time up at the ceiling. It was barley past four in the morning but he swung his feet out onto the cold hard floor. He slipped into his jacket and shoes before slowly creeping down the hall. Addie's door was swung open, her little body hidden under layers of thick blankets. Her brown hair hung out in a long braid that must have taken her all night. Tate took a moment to study her, she was precious to him. Addie was so innocent, her big brown eyes looked at the world expecting the best from life. She was so naïve but Tate wanted to protect that. He continued walking, Larry's heavy snoring drifted down the hall. The sound made Tate brim with anger, his sleep deprived body shook slightly. This man, Larry, was not his father. He had no right sleeping next to Tate's mother, had no right to act as if they were family or as if he cared about Tate. Larry was just like any other man, controlled by lust. He even burned his family to get Constance. Disgusting.

As he reached the area where the attic stairs could be pulled down he paused. The familiar sounds of rustling chains and grunts, along with the soft laughs were gone. Beau was gone… Tate's chest ached. He'd failed, yet again to protect his brother. Tate remembered the nights when Beau would scream and cry, lonely for attention and love that he never received from Constance. I'm sorry, Tate thought.

Outside the crisp night air was like a fresh slap to the face. It woke him up and pulled him out of his zombie state. He started jogging down the road, leaping over the curb. The pumping of his legs and rush of adrenaline shot through him. If he closed his eyes it was almost like flying. Tate imagined he was a bird pushing up through the clouds; he could leave this horrid place and these horrid people. It could be just him in the sky.

The toe of his shoe caught on a rock, jerking him out of his day dream. Cursing he stumbled to his knees. Tate winced looking at the cuts, not deep but they would hurt later on. The sound of waves and sea birds reached his ears. Just down the road the sea lapped hungrily at the shore, tearing off small chunks at a time. He walked slowly towards it, trying to absorb the giant, endless, blue mass with his eyes. It was a wild beast, nothing could control it. Tate stopped just at the edge; the sea reached for his shoes but didn't quite touch. The horizon was a clear crisp line, no buildings or trees to block the view.

Somewhere on the other side was a whole different world, someplace better than here. The sun was coming up from the other direction, burning a golden fiery path across the ocean. Tate watched it blaze and burn for a while, the waves crashed around him. He felt calm after staring at the wild ocean for a while. Finally he turned back and jogged home.

He swung open the kitchen door as silently as he could.

"Out running again?"

Tate turned to look at his mother. In the morning her hair was down in loose blonde curls that fell to her shoulder, her lipstick from last night was smeared around the corners, and her robe was twisted around her waist. She stood at the stove flipping pancakes and smoking. He didn't say anything, just kicked off his shoes.

"How's track?" She continued to pester him.

"Fine." The word was cold and short, clipped at the end. Tate saw her mouth purse at his answer. Just then Addie ran in, her long night gown swirling around her ankles. She smiled at Tate, her face splitting down the middle in joy. He smiled back at her.

"Morning, Addie."

"Good morning Tate!" She wrapped her arms around his waist for a brief moment and then sat the kitchen counter. Constance quickly slapped a pancake on the plate in front of Addie without a word to her daughter. Larry entered the kitchen just as Tate was trying to leave.

"Good morning my dear," Larry said kissing Constance on the neck. Tate felt bile rise up his throat, blinded momentarily by rage. How could they act like everything was okay? This man killed Beau! Despite what Constance said Tate knew deep in his heart that Larry killed his brother… "Morning Tate and Addie." He said with a false smile to them.

Tate fled up to his room. He quickly pulled on fresh clothes and washed under his eyes, hoping to look like he got at least a little sleep. He grabbed a book, his only way to survive highschool. He ran out the front door just in time to make the bus.

"Oh, look who's late again." said a venomous voice. "Mommy forget to make your lunch?" Tate didn't turn around to see who his tormenter was this time. Several other people laughed, their voices ran through Tate's brain like static. It hissed and blurred together, making Tate ache from the inside out.

Another long day…

The day was blur. The book he was reading eventually lost interest, there was only so many times you could read about the wonders of India. Instead his mind wandered to a fantasy of his. It was him, war paint smeared across his face. Leather combat boots stomping down the hall, warning the people that he was coming. Just as he reached the first class room he pulled out his gun, it hung by his side like a snake waiting to strike. He looked over their scared faces, satisfaction flushing through him. They finally knew, they finally understood the terror and suppressed anger and sadness he felt every day. He cocked the gun and pointed at the first face. Oh, she knew, she knew the horror he felt. He smiled at her then pulled the trigger.

It gave him a sweeping sense of ecstasy to hear the gurgled scream.

Tate jerked himself out of his day dream, chills sweeping over him. He opened his eyes and realized he was alone in the library. All alone. Were those my thoughts? He wondered.