Torn and Saved

Samandriel woke to reflected sunlight sparkling off the lake, dazzling his eyes as he blinked them open. He stretched, rolled, and found himself alone in the bed. The sheets were cool to the touch.

Inias must have let me sleep.

He sat up with a smile and rolled out of the bed, cleaning his vessel with a flare of grace and retrieving his cleaned and folded clothes. The stiffness had left his wings, though the aching throb at his collar was still there. He stretched the ragged limbs, rolling his shoulders. The warm sunlight on his feathers chased away the last of the night's cobwebs and for the briefest of moments he could forget his ordeal.

The soft trill of guitar strings drifted up the stairwell as Samandriel made his way down. He paused at the bottom, listening as Inias' honey-smooth voice took up the notes. It was a simple tune, a hymn that they had learned in childhood. Inias rasped over the last few words and, upon a sour note from the guitar, stopped, tightened the string, and went over it again. A perfect D major.

"I love it when you sing," Samandriel said, rounding the corner into the living space. Inias was seated by the hearth, the guitar looking polished and new in his lap. He smiled as Samandriel approached.

"Feeling better?" He put down the guitar and met Samandriel halfway into the room, taking his hands and pulling them close.

"I am." Samandriel returned Inias' chaste kiss. "You were right. Sleep really did work wonders."

Inias pulled him close, arms wrapping loosely around his waist. Samandriel squeezed him back, a measure of his strength returned. He felt more like himself and less like the tattered, threadbare thing he'd been when they found him. He had his freedom, he had his life, and he had his mate. The only part of his existence that hadn't yet been returned to him was the Garden, and the brothers and sisters who toiled there with him. He felt... not complete, but content. It was a good feeling.

He glanced over Inias' shoulder. "What's all that?"

Inias craned around to follow his gaze to the kitchen counter. "Ah. I thought if we maintain a human schedule it might be easier to blend in."

Samandriel cocked his head, following Inias, an intrigued smile on his face. "Human schedule?"

"Regular meals. Regular sleep." Inias turned on the gas on the stove, where he'd already arranged two frying pans, one with a small wedge of butter. He rummaged through the fridge and emerged with two eggs, a packet of bacon rashers, and a bag of diced potatoes that said 'frozen hash browns'.

"Where did you get all this?" Samandriel asked as Inias spread bacon out in one frying pan and the melting butter in the other.

"I went into town while you were asleep." The eggs hissed on contact with the pan. Inias gave Samandriel a soft smile. "I'll have to take you into town at some point. You'll love it here." He poured a generous pile of hash browns into the pan with the eggs. "Toast?"

"Yes, please." Samandriel inhaled, savouring the aromas of the kitchen. They didn't need to eat, but if this was how they were going to blend in, then who was he to complain? Humans did have some pretty good food, after all.

6&6&6&6&6&6&6

Breakfast was lovely. For a creature that didn't need to eat, Inias sure knew how to cook. The bacon and hash browns were perfectly crisp and the egg yolks runny. Samandriel had never had buttered toast dipped in egg before, and he came to the conclusion that he'd clearly been missing out.

They shared a pot of tea, Samandriel with milk and sugar and Inias without. They talked about the state of Heaven. Samandriel brought Inias up to speed on events—Naomi and Crowley and the tablets. They both remembered the resets now. Samandriel had only ever had the one; back when Naomi and the Archangels had taken over. His memories surrounding the reset were still shaky.

Inias on the other hand, had been reset several times. Not nearly as often as Castiel, but enough. There'd been the night they slaughtered the armies of Sennacherib: Inias had refused to participate and had been hauled into head office. He'd stood with Castiel on a few occasions, alone on others. Once he'd had Rachel and Hester with him in his defiance. But no matter how many times he'd stood up and rebelled they'd always reset him to a placid little lieutenant who did what he was told. The soldier who killed and maimed without question and then went quietly home to his mate.

It was infuriating to think they'd been played with for so long. Their Father's last command had been to love the humans more than they loved Him. Love them, protect them, guide them. Then Naomi had come along and they'd become blunt instruments. Tools with which to punish, murder, and destroy.

But they did their best to put it out of their minds. There was nothing they could do while in hiding. And neither was a match for Naomi.

When they'd downed the last of the tea they made their way outside and Samandriel went to work on the long-neglected flowerbeds. Bees and butterflies swarmed around him as he extended his grace, plants springing to life at the touch of it. The dry, patchy grass turned green and soft and full wherever Samandriel stepped. A retinue of birds gathered, chattering in the trees and bushes around him: bright yellow Grosbeaks, shimmery Blackbirds and Cowbirds, hopping Juncos, red-headed Tanagers, a pair of shy little Waterthrushes, several species of yellow Warblers, a few Waxwings, pushy Starlings, whistling Robins, Nuthatches, Chickadees, Ravens, Magpies, Flycatchers. It was as if the woods had come alive. Samandriel talked to them, of course. Birds were usually good conversation.

Inias watched from the porch, smiling as he set up the hummingbird feeder. His mate flitted from plant to plant, touches and brushes bringing withered, desiccated stems into bloom. The remnants of the garden turned green and pink, white and red, blue and purple. Inias found that he couldn't take his eyes from Samandriel, his slim vessel, his caramel hair, his creamy feathers—shining in a way they hadn't since his capture. Seeing him happy, drifting around the garden doing what he loved most, smiling without a hint of the shadows that had been hanging on him, was a gift. Inias would have given all the riches of the world to see him that happy every day. Leaning on the porch railing, he was reminded of all the reasons he'd fallen in love with Samandriel in the first place.

Inias was all but ignored by Samandriel's entourage. He was a soldier and thus the animals had no interest. It didn't bother him. He was content not to intrude.

Samandriel's grace swirled over the flowerbeds like an artist's brush filling a blank canvas. Chrysanthemums, Peonies, and Hydrangeas sprang up from dried remains, joining Hyacinths, Lilies, Pansies, Lupins, Lilacs, and Lavender. In the shade by the porch there were Hostas and Jacob's Ladder. Japanese Acer flanked the steps. Bleeding Hearts surged up along the north face of the cabin. Closer to the treeline, Samandriel raised prodigious thickets of Strawberries and Blackberries, and a towering Rose bush. A flick of his wrist had Teasel, Woodruff, and Juniper coming up under their kitchen window. He even teased up a herb patch with Mint, Chives, Welsh Onion, and Vervain. Between the herbs and hedges sprouted a tree which Inias' was certain was some variety of Apple.

Even the wild plants reacted to his presence. The pines and spruces perked up, along with the ferns and wildflowers. The rushes and cattails at the water's edge seemed just a touch taller and healthier. Inias could hear frogs... and what may have been an extinct species of pigeon. He'd have to discuss that with him later. But in that moment Samandriel looked up at him with a wide, open, happy face and nothing else mattered. Heather was popping up around Samandriel's feet and Inias was in Heaven.

No words were exchanged as he stepped down off the deck and joined Samandriel in the grass. He looped his arms around his waist and rested his face in the soft curve of his shoulder, cupping his wings with his own. To think that Castiel's blade had been only two millimetres from ending Samandriel's life. That had Inias not heard his call, not joined the Winchesters, or had taken even a second longer to kill the demons, then he wouldn't be standing in a garden in the mountains, holding his mate, but would instead be grieving him. That that one second could have meant an eternity alone.

It terrified him.

"Are you okay?" Samandriel's voice was soft with concern. He squeezed Inias' hands. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Inias pressed a kiss to Samandriel's neck. "Let's go for a walk."

6&6&6&6&6&6&6

There wasn't a path through the woods surrounding the cabin, but they didn't need one. They followed the natural breaks in the underbrush, the ebb and flow of root systems, trails eaten through bushes by deer and bears. It was cool and dim and moist beneath the canopy, each breath crisp and refreshing. Samandriel had finally convinced Inias to put on something other than his vessel's suit and tie. He'd settled on a black and steel-blue plaid buttonup and jeans that they found in one of the upstairs closets. Samandriel rather liked the way Inias looked in the snug denim.

For a while they simply chatted. They'd been apart for over a year, so there was no lack of stories to tell. They traded tales of how they met the Winchesters. Samandriel spoke of events in Heaven, new additions to the Garden, and of the new fledgling born to two of his former roostmates. Inias' stories were of Leviathans and running battles, last minute escapes and long, lonely stretches hiding in hovels.

When the stories were over they talked about other things. Anything that came to mind. But despite his smiles, it was obvious that whatever had been weighing on Inias back at the cabin was still haunting him. Even in a vessel, Samandriel knew his mate's idiosyncrasies.

"Something's bothering you," Samandriel said, his tone making it clear that it wasn't a question.

Inias looked sheepish for a moment, then hung his head. He took Samandriel's hand, squeezing it as they continued through the trees.

"Watching you in the garden... It hit me how close I came to losing you."

Samandriel let himself be led up a slope of thick, knobbly tree roots, all the while watching Inias' face for some clue of what was really on his mind. "You got there in time to save me."

"In time would have been a lot sooner."

Samandriel stopped, their joined hands halting Inias in his tracks. "This is about the demons, isn't it?" He watched Inias' eyes fill with what could have been regret or guilt or sadness, but looked an awful lot like shame. He pulled Samandriel close, running his free hand up and down his arm and shoulder. Face to face, Samandriel decided that it was definitely shame in his mate's eyes, but the other emotions were there in the set of his wings, the droop of his back, and the way his hand squeezed his.

"I will never forgive myself for not being there. I'm a soldier. It's my job to protect you. You should never have gone through what you did." Inias cupped Samandriel's face in both hands. "I just... I need to know you're okay."

Samandriel smiled and took Inias' hands, pulling them down, clasped between them. He leaned up, kissing him. When they parted, Inias somewhat reluctantly, Samandriel met his eyes.

"Of course I'm not okay." Inias flinched and Samandriel leaned against him, nuzzling into his neck. "But I will be. I'm with you, now. And we have a VIRG; we have each other; a beautiful garden..."

He felt Inias smile at his slip into Enochian, and felt his wings wrap around them.

"I'm not okay. Not yet. But I'm happy."

Inias relaxed against him, sighing and hugging him close. The smell of his plumage filled Samandriel's world: wood smoke and steel and cold air. Warmth blossomed in his chest and he fluttered his wings, pulling Inias forward until he was nearly stumbling. Inias pulled back, a cheeky twinkle flaring to life in his eyes.

They tugged back and forth a couple of times before Samandriel smirked and abruptly let go mid-tug. Inias fell, sprawling on the soft earth. For a brief moment he looked puzzled, but quick as a flash he reached out, nearly snagging Samandriel's jeans.

Samandriel just laughed and took off through the trees. He heard Inias scramble to his feet behind him, heard the pursuit. He was still laughing when, several meters later, Inias caught up, grabbed him, and sent them both tumbling.

He wound up on his back with Inias over him, wings flared triumphantly. There was a second where nervous regret flashed through Inias' grey eyes, but it faded quickly when he realized that Samandriel was still smiling.

"I love you." Inias' eyes didn't leave Samandriel's as he spoke, seemingly unaware that he'd said it in English.

"I love you, too."

Everything seemed so very still and so very quiet, and Samandriel knew it was most likely because there was a predator in the area but he tried not to let that ruin the moment. Not with the sun peeking through the canopy in just the right place to give Inias a full-body halo and trim his feathers in gold.

Nothing. Nothing would ruin that moment.

6&6&6&6&6&6&6

There was no rush to return to the cabin. They spent the afternoon wandering the forest, Samandriel instructing Inias on the basics of being a gardener—a steward of the earth. He certainly didn't take to it as naturally as Samandriel had, but that was to be expected. Inias hadn't been born to this, as Samandriel had. What he did do was learn quickly.

Feeding life into plants, rejuvenating them, wasn't all that different from healing a wound on the battlefield: similar principle, just a tad less directed. It would be a while before Inias could reinvigorate a whole plant rather than one small part, but Samandriel took pleasure in the look of joy on his mate's face when he was able to do as instructed.

They took lazy loops through the trees and together they did as Samandriel had always done in Eden. They healed the injured and sick and gave life to the malnourished and dehydrated. While Samandriel mended a smashed beehive, Inias patched up the young Osprey whose fall from a nest had caused the damage. The bird was returned to his nest and they were on their way.

They returned to the cabin hand-in-hand and as the sun lowered in the sky, Inias prepared a modest dinner over their fire pit—skewers of cubed rainbow trout with a spicy barbecue sauce and a mixed salad. They ate on the back porch, now bordered on both ends by tall cattails, and watched an eagle hunt over the lake. Once their dishes were returned to the kitchen, Samandriel poured glasses of apple cider and filled a bowl with blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, and currants, and they went back to their fireside seat. Inias took to the cider better than he had the beer; less yeasty, he said.

They drank their cider, fed each other berries, and watched the sun go down. The fading light painted the mountains a deep, orangey gold before they sputtered out into dark silhouettes. Inias slipped the last currant into Samandriel's mouth, running his fingers through his hair. His eyes glowed, even in the waning light, lit from within by his grace.

"Today was the happiest I've been in a long time," Inias half-whispered, pulling Samandriel closer.

"I'm glad." Samandriel nestled in against Inias' shoulder. "I'd hate to think that running from Leviathans all day was more fun."

Inias chuckled. "I don't think there's any danger of that."

Samandriel closed his eyes, letting his mate's warmth wash over him. He felt Inias' fingers carding through his feathers, preening them with gentle reverence.

"It was the happiest I've been, too," he murmured, relaxing into Inias' touch. He purred as coverts and scapulars were groomed and brushed into place. His mate attentively straightened every feather he could reach, and once he was done with one wing Samandriel shifted to allow him access to the other. Inias' mouth was on his neck, sucking softly, when Samandriel bit his bottom lip and breathed, "We should go upstairs." He felt Inias smile.

They barely spoke as they left the deck, retreating to the warmth of the cabin and piling their dishes in the sink. There would be time for them in the morning.

They slipped up the stairs, their bodies as close together as possible. Inias' hands stroked and teased the whole way; Samandriel countered with provocative shivers and flicks of his wings. Once in the confines of their room, Inias flared his own; his plumage filling the space, tenting around them. The gesture was one of dominance. Had he directed the motion at a rival it would have been an aggressive display. But this was a claim. A mating display.

Samandriel mirrored his movements, spreading his own wings and stepping closer. Their feathers touched and Samandriel folded his, tucking them in submission. He flicked them again, flashing his secondaries as Inias leaned in, bringing them nose-to-nose. The shiver that went down him as he looked into Inias' eyes was entirely involuntary. Warm, throbbing anticipation rushed through his body, because amid all the love and adoration in those grey eyes was a hunger that turned them dark and stormy.

Samandriel tipped his head to meet Inias' lips. The kiss was surprisingly restrained and sweet. Inias slipped his arms around Samandriel's waist as their mouths parted, smiling before moving in to lavish kisses down his neck. As teeth scraped across his skin, Samandriel lowered his wings to the floor and quivered them.

Inias growled, voice low with arousal. His hands slipped up underneath Samandriel's shirt, calloused palms running over his smooth back. He gasped, hips twitching forward and grinding against Inias. He could feel him half-hard underneath the denim.

Samandriel wound his fingers in the soft flannel of Inias' shirt and started undoing buttons. Inch by tantalizing inch the fabric fell away, hitting the floor with barely a sound when Samandriel finally slipped it off Inias' shoulders. He ran his palms down Inias' chest, over pectoral muscles and slim shoulders. His mate's skin was warm and the hair growing there was soft. Firm muscle moved just beneath the surface, Samandriel's questing fingers finding hardened nipples.

Inias caught him in another kiss, tender despite the hands that probed at the join of wing and back, massaging the sensitive flesh there and sending fresh waves of heat to Samandriel's groin. He moaned into the kiss, shivering under Inias' skilled fingers.

His own hands swept up Inias' back, finding the very same spots and pressing. Inias jerked and groaned, shoving a thigh between Samandriel's legs. He nipped at the soft flesh beneath the younger's ear, his breath warm on the back of his neck. Samandriel whined and rutted against the meat of Inias' thigh. His legs were starting to feel like jelly and his jeans were becoming uncomfortably tight, but the friction soothed the ache in his groin.

With a quick, fluid motion, Samandriel shrugged his flannel plaid off his shoulders. The t-shirt underneath—a badly faded ACDC shirt with a hole that looked suspiciously like a stab wound—remained, though Inias wasted no time in pulling the garment up and off. Both of their vessels were slender, but Samandriel's was several shades paler and considerably less hairy. In fact, apart from the hair on his head, armpits, and groin—and the fine, pale hairs on his arms—his vessel was rather hairless for a mammal.

Desire was writ on Inias' every feature as he returned his hands and mouth to Samandriel's body. There was urgency in his movements now. He undid Samandriel's belt and fly without preamble. Samandriel shimmied out of the too-large jeans, which really didn't take much; they fell off him the moment the belt was undone. Inias' fingers slipped into the waistband of Samandriel's briefs and he tugged them down. Once the other angel had kicked off the garment, Inias returned his thigh to Samandriel's groin. They rutted together, pre-cum soaking into denim, until Samandriel was making desperate, breathless noises and clinging to Inias' shoulders.

"On the bed," Inias urged, nipping at his earlobe. "Before your legs give out."

He backed Samandriel toward the windowed alcove and the younger angel dropped down onto the cushy mattress. He didn't take his gaze off of Inias' lean form as he settled, propped up on pillows, on his back, legs sprawled and open. His aching erection lay dripping across his stomach.

Inias stripped off his jeans, socks, and briefs, tossing them unceremoniously onto the chair behind him, and climbed onto the bed. Samandriel sat up, pulling Inias into a deep kiss, slipping his tongue into his mate's mouth. Inias hummed low in his throat, running affectionate hands down Samandriel's flanks and massaging his thighs. His body thrumming with need, Samandriel broke the kiss. He smiled at his mate and lowered himself back down onto the bed, fanning his wings behind him. He buried his hands in the pillows above his head, stretching himself out before Inias.

Grey eyes devoured him, sweeping up and down his sprawled form. Hands that had been on his thighs slid up to his hips. His mate smiled fondly, crawling up the bed until they were face to face once more. This close, Samandriel could see the twinkle of grace showing through his vessel's retina. The little hint of Inias' real self; the energy, the radiance, the power. All crackling electricity and raging nuclear fire. And to think they could pack themselves so comfortably into a human skin that it started to feel like their own.

Inias leaned in to kiss him again, and this time his hand slipped between them, closing around both their cocks and stroking. Samandriel bucked his hips and moaned. Inias took advantage of his open mouth to slide his tongue inside, deepening the kiss. His world narrowed to the deep cocoa of Inias' feathers. To the feel of his weight above him; his hand stroking. To the silky softness of his hair when Samandriel wound his fingers in it. He hummed in contentment as Inias prepared him, slicking his entrance with feather oil and working him open. He urged Inias on with quiet whimpers and gasps, and arched into his touch.

"Please, Inias," he mewled as fingers hooked inside him. He managed a sloppy kiss before dropping his head back into the pillow with a breathy groan. Inias' lips ghosted over his throat, the hair on his jaw tickling sensitive flesh. Samandriel could tell that his calm control was only skin deep. He was trembling, his whole body rigid and glistening with sweat, his cock dripping with need. He was being careful, despite how his body must have been howling at him.

"I'm ready, Inias..." he panted, coating his palm in Inias' feather oil and reaching between them to slick Inias' erection. His mate let out a bark of a moan at the unexpected touch, thrusting into Samandriel's hand. "I'm ready for you," he whispered into Inias' ear.

The broken, desperate sound that Inias gave in reply was cut off by another kiss. A kiss which they held as Inias hiked up Samandriel's legs and positioned himself.

They both moaned as Inias slid inside, as slow and careful and gentle as he'd been their first time. Reverent touches found all his most sensitive places. Their chests pressed together, heaving with their laboured breaths.

Samandriel gasped as he felt Inias bottom out. His body clenched around the base of his cock and his toes curled as a little jab of pleasure jumped up his spine. He tried to speak but all that came out was a high, whimpering cry.

Inias' thrusts started slow and rocking, letting Samandriel's body relax around him. The heavy push and pull eased with each movement; each thrust pulling further out before driving back in. Their breathing grew harsh, catching on each inward stroke.

"Faster," Samandriel begged, gripping at Inias' sweat-slick sides. The wings above him were quaking.

Inias obeyed without hesitation, increasing his pace, and Samandriel moaned helplessly. Pressure was building at the base of his spine, growing with each thrust, each brush of his prostate, each grunt and groan from his mate, each stroke of Inias' hand on his shaft. He met Inias' thrusts, grinding up into him and taking him in as deep as possible. He keened at the ache.

He lost track of time. He didn't know how long he spent clinging to Inias, feeling him move inside him, stretching him, filling him. It could have been hours. He could feel himself beginning to tighten, his body tensing, his breaths shortening to pants. Each pump of their hips drove him closer... so tantalizingly close. One particularly well-aimed thrust had his eyes rolling back. He was so close it was maddening.

"Please... please, Inias... Please," he panted, moving with his mate, who growled above him. "Inias... Inias... oh... oh..." His words trailed off into a wail as the first waves of his orgasm hit. He want rigid, his cock pulsing and spilling in Inias' hand. His mate was chanting "I love you," in his ear like a mantra, pitch jumping with each fluttering spasm of Samandriel's body around him. Then finally, with Samandriel clenched tight and crying out, his words dissolved and all he could do was moan and thrust as his own orgasm overtook him. Samandriel felt the twitches of Inias' cock as it pumped, felt the warm, wet rush, and he keened again.

They remained entwined for a long time, Inias' occasional thrusts feeling decidedly sloppy. Samandriel's quivers and trembles were entirely involuntary, his body boneless and limp. The sheets beneath him were damp with sweat. His wings felt like lead weights. Eventually, mostly flaccid, Inias withdrew, collapsing next to Samandriel on the bed, breathless and spent. He ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it back off his face.

"That was..." he trailed off, eyes glassy and staring into the woodgrain of the ceiling in search of the right word.

"Wonderful," Samandriel finished for him.

Inias chuckled, still regaining his breath. "I was leaning toward 'intense'..."

"That too."

Samandriel managed, despite his rubbery muscles, to crawl to Inias' side and curl against him. His head rested nicely over his mate's heart, their bodies moulding together like they'd been made to fit. He smiled when he felt Inias' wing fold around him and hug him closer. Through the window they had a fair view of the stars overhead. Hundreds... thousands of lights dotted the blackness. Nowhere close to the billions that Samandriel was accustomed to seeing, but more than most humans got to see these days. Lying there, gazing up at them with Inias' wing around him, reminded him of home, and it brought his mind back to something he'd been thinking about while he'd been out in the garden that morning.

"Inias?" The other angel's eyes flicked to meet his and Samandriel felt a little grin tug at the corner of his mouth. "I've been thinking..."

"What about?"

He let his fingers trace slow circles over Inias' chest, some absentminded little part of him counting all the different shades in Inias' eyes: Warm greys in the folds of his iris, steel greys on the surface, dark, stormy greys at the edges. He could see the individual threads of tissue, could watch them contract and relax.

"I was thinking about all the things that I would've missed out on if you hadn't rescued me," Samandriel sighed, nibbling at his lip. "Things that I've put off that I would regret not doing."

Inias stroked Samandriel's cheek, brushing strands of damp hair off his temples and forehead. He sighed, smiling in a way he usually reserved for when he thought Samandriel wasn't looking.

"What things?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of him, looking at him like he didn't want to look at anything else.

"I was hoping..." Samandriel paused. "Once things were sorted out upstairs—once we could go home... I was hoping that we could have a child."

A wide smile split Inias' face and he laughed. "Of course we can." He sounded relieved. "Why all the hesitation? You made me nervous."

"I was afraid you wouldn't be ready."

The fond look returned to Inias' eyes and Samandriel felt himself blush.

"I've been ready for a long time, Sam."

They lay in silence for a while, just looking at each other. Samandriel's chest felt like it was going to burst and he gave up fighting the big, dumb grin that wanted onto his face.

"So it's settled, then."

Inias nodded and pulled him into another kiss—deep and slow and passionate. It lasted for a while, but neither was really counting. When their lips parted, Inias pulled him close, curled together once more.

"When we go home, I will gladly have a child with you."

Samandriel smiled, twining his fingers in Inias' and returning his eyes to the sky. Whether or not they fell asleep didn't really matter. It wasn't as if they had anywhere to be.

They had all the time in the world.

Enochian

VIRG (vee-rah-geh): Nests, home.