I sat at my apartment, laying on the couch with Nikolai, my Caucasian Shepard at my feet, watching TV. At least, he wasn't beating me up and leaving me, feeling like a slut and a whore. Nikolai can just lick me in the face with his stinky breath and just look at me with his beautiful hazel eyes. That's why I loved being home again. While being home, I got to focus on my dance. Aside from wrestling, dancing was always my passion, my escape from everything. I can stay at the dance studio and teach all day because I love it so much. Even Seth understood my love for dance. One time when we were dating, he came home with me and watched me teach the children. He has told me I looked so beautiful dancing. I still smile at that, every time I think about it.
I took off my pointe shoes after my last class was over and started to focus on my solo for competition. I decided to change my song from "Stay" by Rihanna to "Dreamer" by Kari Kimmel. This song expresses more about how I feel right now about my life. The greatest thing about dance is that you can use that to tell a story.
After I made some adjustments to my routine, I sat down and stayed silent, thinking. I was still frustrated at what I was going to do about Dean. I want to leave him and be with Seth again but yet, I was afraid that Seth won't take me back. He might have feelings about me but he might not even take me back.
While I was thinking this, my phone rang. It was Dean.
"What?" I said.
"Don't talk to me like that." He growled. "I need to talk to you."
"What is it?"
"Look... I think we can still make this work."
I laughed at the phone, "You still think that?"
"Yes."
"And how are you going to do that?"
"By not hitting you and disrespect you like this..."
My heart got a little less heavier when he said that, thinking that we might actually have a chance. I just shook it off because if I gave him another chance, he would do it again.
"Sure, Dean..."
"I'm serious."
"Then prove it."
"I will. I promise. Just please forgive me. Please."
"How? Honestly, how can I forgive you?"
"I don't know... But I'll try anything. I'll do anything you want. Anything."
I started to get frustrated at this point. "Dean... how?"
"Like I said, I don't know. Just try to trust me."
I had no where to go. If I choose to leave him, things will get worse. No telling what he'll do if we broke up. This guy was unstable. I had no other choice.
"Alright. I forgive you."
"Good." He sounded relieved on the phone. "I'll see you at the show."
"See you there."
"Hey... I love you. And I mean it."
"I love you too." I said and I hung up.
I put my head into my hands, frustrated. There has got to be some way out of this. While I was thinking, my phone rang again and it was Roman. I felt better when I saw his name on the screen.
"Hey." I said relieved.
"How are you?" He asked.
"I'm alright. I just heard from Dean a couple of minutes."
"You okay?"
"Better now."
"How bad was it?"
"If bad was asking for my forgiveness and promising me that he won't do it again, then yeah... it's pretty bad."
"Don't tell me you accepted it, did you?"
"I had no other choice. If I didn't, things would probably get worse from here."
"I don't like that but... good point. You have a game plan?"
"Just try not to piss him off."
"Good, look... I'll try to get you some time with Seth if I can."
"Roman, honestly, I don't want you to get involved because if you do, Dean might do something... I don't know." I said, putting my head back in my hands.
"Kelsey... You have seem me spear a lot of people. I think I'll be fine. Dean won't do anything." He laughed.
"Whatever you say, Roman."
"I'll do anything I can. Just don't worry."
"Alright. Well, thanks for talking to me, Roman." I smiled.
"No problem. I'll see you later." He said and I hung up.
Next morning, I got in the RV with my driver, Glinda and Nikolai and drove down to the Smackdown show at North Carolina State. I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes and Nikolai was asleep beside me.
(I forgot to mention that Glinda is black. A sweet black woman.)
"Where are we?" I asked Glinda.
"Almost there, sugar plum." She said and I smiled.
"Quit calling me that." I laughed.
"I love you calling you that." She said.
"You hungry? I managed to stop by the grocery store before we left."
"Give me anything you got." She said and I made my way to the kitchen.
Glinda hasn't slept since being on the road. It would be nice to at least, cook her some grits, bacon, and some scrambled eggs for her. Honestly, if my mother wasn't alive, Glinda would be my foster mother. She takes care of me like I was her own daughter. It feels nice to have a little family on the road.
Finally, we got to North Carolina State. We parked into their parking lot and Glinda and I ate breakfast together. After we ate, she kissed me on the forehead and left to check herself into a hotel. After she left, I walked Nikolai and went to the gym to work out.
Later that night, I went inside and dropped my stuff down. When I got out of the locker room, I saw Chris Jericho coming my way.
"Kelsey!" He said, waving at me.
"Sup Chris." I smiled.
"I just got word that I'll be competiting in a dance off against Fandangore... no, Fandunghole... that's not it either."
"You mean... FAAAAANNNNNDANNNNNNNGOOOOOO." I joked.
"That's it! Now, I haven't found a dance partner and I heard that you, my lady, are a great dancer."
"That's because I am." I smiled.
"Would you like to my dance partner?" He asked me.
"Uh... Hell yes! I'll do it!"
"Come on, let's practice outside. I already got something going for us." He said and I nodded in response.
We practiced outside in the warm moonlight. I never knew Jericho was so light, quick, and smooth on his feet. He shouldn't have lost on Dancing With The Stars. Now, I'm not really a ballroom dancer but I know a lot about dance so Jericho was like my teacher. We only had to put things in that would fit into 2 or 3 minutes so it didn't take long. After we were done, we high fived each other and went back inside, now pumped for Monday.
Then, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Dean saying he got hurt and wants me to be at his side. So I parted from Jericho and joined up with The Shield. Roman and Seth were sitting on the floor, across from Dean and a doctor tending to his left eye.
"What happened?" I asked Dean as I sat next to him.
"Bryan punched him. Little bastard..." Seth said.
"Ok, Seth..." I said, trying to calm him down. "Are you alright?" I asked Dean.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." He said.
"Well, Mr. Ambrose, you're good to go. Just put some medication on that and you'll be fine." The doctor said and I thanked him for Dean.
"I got some ointment I can put on you." I said as I grabbed his hand. "You guys can come with us if you want."
As Roman and Seth followed behind us, we went to my RV to get Dean some ointment for his eye. I was also unaware that Dean's mouth was bleeding when I kissed him, tasting blood. Man, Kofi did a number on him with that kick. Nikolai growled at Roman and Dean when they came in but when he saw Seth, his tail started wagging and stood up on his hind legs to lick his face. I smiled that Nikolai still remembers Seth.
"This is really nice." Roman said, scouting out the place.
"Thanks. Jericho hooked me up. It definitely fits my personality." I said, coming back from the bathroom with the ointment.
When I sat down on the couch with Dean, the boys walked outside to watch Mark Henry try to break the world record of carrying two tow trucks. I put a small dot of it on my finger and dabbed it on the cut under Dean's eye. He flinched and grabbed my arm, clutching it really hard.
"I know it hurts. Here, grab my hand." I said as I held out my hand and he took it.
"Thank you for doing this, baby." He said.
"Of course." I said as I rubbed the rest of the ointment on his eye. "There."
I pushed his hair back from his face and looked at him. He just seemed harmless now by the baby face he's giving me.
"I love you. So much." He said, tucking a hair behind my ear.
I just looked at him and took his hand and kissed it.
"Please. Say you love me. I really need you right now."
I huffed. "How can I, Dean? You choked me until I was unconscious and then fucked me till your heart's content. How can I say... I love you?"
"Look, I was... angry, okay? I'm trying to be a better man and let me tell you-"
"It's not easy... I know."
Dean just looked down, not making eye contact.
"I'm sorry... I really am. Please forgive me." He said, looking into my eyes.
I huffed, not knowing what to say. I was now seeing that Dean was starting to get angry and tightening his grip on me, hurting me.
"I forgive you." I quickly said and his hand quickly loosen its grip.
"I knew you would." He said as he kissed me fiercely.
"Yep." I smiled.
"I'm going out with the guys. Thank you for helping me babe." He said, as he kissed me on the forehead and walked out.
As I heard the door slam, I sat there quietly on the couch. How am I supposed to get out of this? I can understand that Dean has some anger management problems but it's still not right for him to treat me badly. I mean... he didn't hit me tonight but... I still think I need to get out of this. While I was thinking, I heard the door open and saw Seth come in.
"What are you still doing in here?" He asked me.
"Just thinking." I said.
"What's wrong?" He sat down beside me.
"Oh, nothing!" I smiled.
"Kelsey... I can see it behind your smile." He said and my smile faded. "You're upset. What's wrong? You can tell me."
"Look, it's nothing, okay? Just tired. Come on, let's go outside and watch Mark Henry." I said, getting up from the couch.
"No, hold on." He said, grabbing my the wrist. "It's not nothing. I want you to tell me what's going on."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, not looking at him.
"Yes, you do. Stop lying to me!" He yelled.
"Let go of me, Seth..." I said.
Seth was getting madder by every second. I just looked down, still not looking at him.
He stepped closer to me and looked down. "You know... I wanted to help you... to help us... but you've changed... and I think... I can easily get over you like you've gotten over me."
My heart shattered in thousands of pieces just hearing that from him. This was my choice. If I told him, Dean told me he would make my life a living hell.
"Maybe, you breaking up with me was... the best thing that ever happened to me."
That's when I lost it.
"Get out. GET OUT AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I yelled at him.
"Glad too..." He said and he stomped out.
I ran to my room and locked it. I fell on my bed, crying my eyes out. This was not what I wanted. I still love Seth. He can't just get over me now. Please God, don't do this to me. After 10 minutes, someone knocked on the door.
"Baby? Are you okay? Let me in." Dean said.
"Go away!" I cried.
"Baby, please..." He said.
I never answered but somehow, he found himself a way in. He picked the lock. He came in and saw me, crying on the bed with my mascara and eyeliner running down my cheeks.
"What happened? I heard screaming and Seth just stomped out and went back into the arena. What did he do to you?"
"This is all your fault!" I yelled at him.
"My fault?!" He said.
"Yes! Because of you, I can't get back with Seth! You have ruined everything between us and we still had something!" I yelled at him. "Now he's gone, because of you... I wanted to get out of this relationship as soon as I found out about those text messages with Leigh... You set him up and I will never forgive you for that... EVER." I sneered at him.
His demon came out as he pushed me up against a wall, choking me again. I couldn't breathe and I was punching him in the face and kicking him.
"I have been trying... so hard to please you and make you feel like a princess... but yet, I can't handle trying to please a self-absorbed, cry-baby, whiny little bitch like you."
"Then kill me. Fucking kill me..." I dared him.
He laughed. "No way, I love you too much for that."
"What are you going to do then? Torture me? Make me fucking bleed? Make me feel worthless? Because that's how I felt like being with you..." I growled.
Dean balled up his fist, ready to hit me but then, the door knocked.
"Hey! Is everything okay in there?" They said.
It was Roman. I wanted to scream but Dean cupped my mouth and shushed me.
"We're fine! I'm just comforting her!" Dean said.
"Seth won't tell me what's wrong." Roman said.
"Don't worry about him! I'll talk to him!" Dean said.
"Alright, I'm going to go find him." Roman said as he walked out.
As soon as we heard the door slam, he punched me dead in the face. I collapsed on the floor in pain. He held me down as he kept punching me and punching me. Finally, he threw me on the bed and ripped my pants and underwear off. No, not this again! I started kicking and screaming but Dean was too strong. He put on the condom that he had in his back pocket and plunged into me, hard. I howled as the pain pulsed through me. He held my wrists down on the bed and fucked me as hard as he could. Then, he started biting me on the neck. It felt like a knife was piercing my throat.
"Oh man... this feels so fucking good." He groaned as he fucked me harder.
"Dean, stop! Please! I'm sorry!"
"Shut up, bitch!" He said as he slapped me in the face.
He then pulled me up and laid me on my hands and knees and grabbed a full head of my hair and started fucking me. Tears were coming down my face, messing up my face even more. Right before he came, he pulled out, pushed me on the bed, took the condom off and came all over my face. He was groaning as he was releasing himself all over me. He then got off the bed and buckled the pants.
"Hmm, maybe I should do that every time to teach you a lesson." He smirked.
"Liar... You said you were going to try to change. I knew you weren't." I said.
"Well, looks like I don't have to lie anymore." He laughed as he walked out of the RV.
That same pain rose in the legs as I tried to get up but I just laid back on for it to stop. Then, I hear the door open again and Roman comes in and sees me with my pants and underwear off.
"Oh God." He said as he sprinted over to me. "Are you alright?"
"What does it look like?" I said as I started crying.
"Hold on, I'm going to get you a rag." He said as he ran back to the bathroom and came back and cleaned up some of Dean's filth off of me.
"Why are you here? You need to get out of here before he comes back!" I asked him.
"I stood outside your bedroom window and I can feel you crying and screaming and Dean cussing at you. I wanted to come in there and stop it but I knew you wouldn't want that." He said as he started cleaning my face from the makeup.
"Yeah." I said as Roman put a hand on my back to help sit up.
"Here." He said as gave me my pants and underwear for me to put back on. "This needs to stop."
"I don't know what to do now. Seth hates me now and I'll be stuck with Dean!" I cried, making my makeup run down my face again.
"Stop. Stop." He said as he pulled me to a hug. "Seth doesn't hate you. He still loves you and I know it. I mean, the guy won't stop talking about you, about how you make him feel."
"I couldn't tell him, Roman. I couldn't tell him. This is all Dean's fault..." I cried into his shoulder.
"We'll figure out something. Don't worry. I'm not giving up just yet." He said, hugging me tighter.
"For once, Roman... I actually agree with you." I said as I hugged him back.
"Do you want me to tell him?" Roman asked me.
"No, then Dean would know that I told you. I need to tell Seth myself, somehow."
"And you will... with a little help from me."
"Thanks Roman." I smiled.