Disclaimer: All rights for Death Note and affiliated characters belong to Ohba, Obata, Shonen Jump Advanced, and Viz Media. All rights for the Fray belong to Joe, Dave, Isaac, Ben, Epic records and Sony. Not Me.

A/N: How was that for a formal, dry disclaimer?

2013 Update: Song lyrics are now removed; ~ is a placeholder for where lyrics should appear. Original version is here art/How-To-Save-A-Life-367560760?q=gallery%3Axxizziinsanityxx&qo=0

Warnings: erm…angst, hmm, swearing… excessive chocolate eating? Maybe? Fuck it, you'll figure it out.

Music: How to Save a Life-The Fray

How To Save A Life

~Mihael~

Looking back I knew as I was leaving that it was wrong, it felt like I was tearing myself in half but even now I couldn't take that one stupid decision back.

Here he was, home late smelling of perfume and alcohol, his eyes glazed from whatever drug he'd taken this time and I sighed, simply helping him into bed, sitting beside him and waiting for the morning to come.

Sunlight had been shinging brightly for hours now and he finally, finally moved, I waited until I was certain he was lucid and I looked at him, "Matt…go shower and then come back here. I have something to say."

A half hour later and he was back, looking exhausted but coherent and living as he sat down, rubbing his brilliant hair with a towel. I forced myself to look at him dead on as I tried to find the right way to say what he needed to hear, his sweet smile not helping in the slightest.

I needed a way out of this and I knew the second I said what was on my mind he'd be looking for one too but I couldn't let that happen. I was too afraid that if he didn't stop I would lose him.

"Look, this shit has to stop. I know you're using the parties and the drugs and the fucking to heal some part of you, but I'm not putting up with it anymore Matt." I snapped a piece of chocolate off loudly.

His smile melted quickly and fire lit in his eyes, "I'm not your bitch Mello, I can make my own choices. It's your fault anyways…you don't even realize why I do it do you?"
Some sort of window to your right

This wasn't the boy I'd left behind all those years ago, he was angry and bitter, lashing out at me when I gave him the chance, I caught glimspes of the sweetheart he used to be, before I fucked it up. I sighed and shook my head, "No Matt, I don't have the slightest fucking clue." I leveled my glare at him.

He laughed, but it was harsh and cold, "You. I go because of you. When you left you killed me, who I was. We were always Mello and Matt, then suddenly I was just Matt."

I blanched at that slightly, but I knew how to deal with him by now, "Yeah and I was just Mello but I'm still here. You've been trying so hard to avoid facing it, but the nerdy gamer is still in there, just stop partying for a while and let him out. I need you Matt, but you need you more than I do, I've been trying to tell you that."

His gaze was cold as ever as he looked at me, "You changed to Mello. I barely recognized you when I first seen you." He dropped the towel and took a sharp breath, "but you're the same underneath…maybe I am to, but I don't want to find myself."

I looked at him then and gave him a final ultimatium, "Stop partying or I'll chain you to the bed."

He chuckled, "See Mel? You're different too." He sighed then and I watched in a kind of horrified fascination as he crumbled and tears started to pour down his cheeks, he reached toward me and I held onto him.

His voice shook again, "I'm so sorry. I love you Mel, but once you're done you'll leave me again. I don't want to have to feel it."

I pulled back and looked at him, "No Matt…please." He shook his head and slid away, "I'll leave tomorrow." He curled up in the bed again, leaving me sitting alone.

I tore out of there as fast as I could, angry and uncertain what he meant as I sat in the kitchen eating. The clock ticked and my sleepless night caught up with me.

Early the next morning a gunshot woke me and my blood ran cold when I realized where it was from. I moved so fast I made it to the door before my mind registered movement even.

Matt was dead and there was still one bullet in the gun…BANG.

A/N: So tell me darlings...did you hate it...I hated it. Reivew with your hatred?