Roxas' body burned. He ached everywhere, his skin feeling hot and clammy yet freezing cold at the same time.
His eyes fluttered open, the world dropping into place as his eyes cleared, his head filling with an intense thumping. He groaned, trying to roll on his side before giving up and lying still. He attempted to lift his hands, but an intense pain shot through them. Bandages wound their way around his skin, tinted red with trickling blood.
The aroma of food was finally recognized, and Roxas' stomach grumbled hungrily. Was that... chicken noodle soup? He smiled, his lips cracking painfully as he realized the situation he was in.
He shouldn't eat. He shouldn't even be alive. Besides, who knew what was in that soup? The boy had certainly been kind, giving him a place to stay, but Roxas knew that... Axel... wanted something in return.
They always did.
A sigh slipped out of Roxas' lips as he steeled himself, waiting for the red-head's return.
He had nothing else to look forward to, anyway.
...
Axel understood. He knew just how hard the boy would pretend to be okay, so that he could run back into that alley like a scared rabbit.
He had seen it before.
He never wanted to see it again.
Axel grinned. If anything, he'd be real. He'd joke and laugh but be real with the boy, never giving up until Roxas finally left that facade behind. He had learned.
He'd help the boy fight it.
Like he should have done before.
Axel ran his fingers through his hair chuckling to himself. He couldn't have those thoughts while trying to save someone else, right? Dark memories never saved anyone, and Axel would do everything in his power to do just that.
Whistling a piano tune he had heard a long time ago, Axel pulled himself off of the couch and headed towards Roxas' room. It was about time the boy had gotten up, and while the boy needed space he also needed a push into the right direction.
The melody looped endlessly, twirling through his mind as he approached the room, a smile lighting his face. He would do whatever it took- comforting the boy, or even pissing him off until the boy was pushed into speaking the truth, Axel would do it.
Besides, Roxas looked cute as he slept, Axel thought slyly.
...
Roxas' eyes shot open as the door squeaked open. A sweet tune had been playing in the distance for a while, and it had lulled him into a drowsy nap despite Roxas' efforts to stay awake.
Roxas took in everything. The bright hair, the symbols beneath the boy's eyes. The grin on his face despite the grim situation, so soon after having saved his life. The lanky, thin stature, his relaxed posture.
Hate rushed through his veins as he smiled softly, playing nice. How badly he wanted to run, to make that boy pay for what he did to him. Instead, he bode his time. Planning. Every word careful. He could do this- it was what he had done for his entire life.
"...H-hi." Axel looked over him again, as if suddenly realizing that the boy could talk. Roxas felt irritation flood through him.
Axel walked over to him, not saying a word as he reached Roxas' bed. Wait- not Roxas' bed. The place where Roxas slept.
There was a great difference.
Axel leaned closer and closer to the boy, and Roxas bit back a hiss as those sparkling green eyes met his own. He felt his head sink deeper and deeper into his pillow, pulling away from the strange boy in front of him.
Silence eased its way between them, only their breaths fighting back.
"Y'know..." Roxas' breath froze within his throat as the boy finally spoke, his voice strong and calming. He knew that the boy was attractive, and his voice only added to the appeal, but to hell if he was going to like the person that had stopped his freedom. "You have a really bad poker face..."
Roxas felt his eyes widen. Damn. "I don't know what you're talking about..." Roxas tried to turn his surprise into an innocent gaze, eyes wide and adorable. People always swooned over those, and he had used them plenty of times to hide the truth. It's not like the opinions of other mattered to him, but he needed something from this boy- along with all the others- that could only be achieved if he fought back against the truth a little more. It was always worth the little lies.
The boy's grin widened. "You have a really bad poker face. You can't lie for shit, and especially not to me. I can read faces a mile away. Remember that, next time you try to pretend." Axel rocked back on his feet, stepping away from the smaller form laying on the bed. Roxas felt a chuckle worm his way into his throat.
He couldn't help it. No one had ever called him out on his lies- they preferred to pretend that unhappiness didn't exist. They settled for the lies, to make their own lives easier. Yet here this strange person was, picking up his bloody body and reading through him. Roxas decided that while the boy could use some decision making skills, he wasn't a bad talker. Especially with that voice...
Roxas' laughter bubbled out as Axel's eyebrows shot up in confusion. The laughter choked a bit through his sore body, but was definitely real. Soon, the pain flared in his body and the laughter transformed into a painful cough and Roxas clutched his body as his throat seized. Axel grabbed a bowl from the side of Roxas' bed and placed it in front of him, gesturing towards it as he lay it on the bed. "Are you okay? You need to eat something. This is soup, but without the noodles or anything because your body might not be able to process it so soon into your recovery and I didn't want to..." Axel trailed off as Roxas' coughing subsided and the form shook his head.
Roxas couldn't forget. Even in the laughter, there was a pain beyond just his body. A shadow building up inside, eating him from the inside out. "I'm not... hungry." He forced out of his lips, the words were painful as his body seemed to wither away.
He heard Axel sigh from above him, the warm breath coasting along his lying body. "You know what? I don't really care. You're going to eat anyway." His mind recoiled at the force behind the words, never having been really told to do anything before and never with such neediness within the words.
No one had ever cared enough.
"No." The words left his mouth before his brain could form coherent sentences. What was he doing? The boy would never let him leave at this rate! But then again... if he had proved to be difficult enough...
The boy would stop caring, like all those before him.
An evil smile wormed itself onto his mouth, not wanting to do this but knowing that he needed to. To save himself, to free himself, he would have to bring hell to the boy who had shown him nothing but kindness.
But Roxas had never asked for kindness.
"I'm not eating. I'd like to go home now." Roxas straight ahead at the wall in front of him, refusing to look Axel in the eye. He needed to be forceful himself, he decided. "Now."
"Didn't we go over this already? I'm not letting you give up your life so quickly. I'll show you a whole new world, one that you'll want to live for. I promise." Axel's voice was thick with emotion, spilling out into those words. "At the very least... eat. That's so important. Once you eat, you can think things over again. If you don't want to stay with my after a few days, once you're physically better, then we can talk it over, okay? Just... eat."
Roxas didn't know if he wanted to cry or to unleash a powerful retort. He didn't know if he was insulted or flattered, happy that someone finally, after all these years cared or sad because it couldn't be real.
He had given up a long time ago.
Roxas couldn't help it. He looked up, and saw those eyes stare down at him with such hope and empathy that he didn't know what to do. He wanted to say he was sorry, to yell at the boy, to run and hide and to stay and be held.
Roxas didn't know what to do anymore.
"Please." The word was torn in half, Axel's voice cracking before he had finished. Roxas watched as those eyes bore down on him, begging him to say yes. To give in. To just...
Roxas didn't know what he wanted in life.
His eyes slid down onto the mattress, looking away from the pitiful eyes that made him want to comfort the boy. He bit down on his resolve, and hissed as his hand strained to lift itself up against it's stiffness. His hand shakily grasped for the spoon, averting his eyes as he lifted the liquid out and brought it to his lips. "Whatever."
Roxas didn't know if he hated himself for giving in like this, but he had hated himself anyway.
A few regrets wouldn't change anything, since he was going to die anyway.
...
Axel's head leaned against the doorway as it slid shut behind him. He didn't mean to be so forceful, to say those things. His mind clouded. He let emotions overtake him. The will not to eat... brought back memories. Axel fought the urge to vomit, his breath raspy as he panted against the cold door.
He wanted to help Roxas. He needed to be clear headed. But... hadn't those emotions make the boy eat? Axel could describe how happy he was as the boy reached for the bowl, his eyes burning with an intense confusion and fight within himself.
Axel was glad that the side he was on had won. There was a long way to go, but now he had a direction.
He could do this.
Axel would help the boy win.
...
I don't... These are real feelings, I suppose. I want to understand how you feel about this as well.
Review, please.