I Silently stared ahead, ignoring everyone around me. My lips twitched as I heard the sound of Belletrists voice bouncing around the table. Though I couldn't make out the words she was saying, because my brain was locking her out, I knew she was sucking up to Tom.
Like she has been doing ever since he broke her and the rest out of azkaban.
Now, I'm not stupid. I know that Tom needed to do that, he needed his old, loyal followers back, but I resented that she was back.
She was no longer a little twenty year old girl, but instead, she was a beautiful, but crazy looking thirty- six year old. Every since she had been back, she had been strutting around like she owned the place. She was bossing cissy around, and annoying the hell out of lucuis.
The worst was Draco though. Thinking about it made my blood turn to ice. She had used to cruatice curse on him, the moment he had gotten back, when he had found out that Voldemort was in the manor. He had flipped out, and he did have a right to. It was a lot to take in.
Now Draco was back at Hogwarts, luckily. I was itching to go myself, just to escape this place. It was becoming torture. Tom was very tense with me, if he wasn't shouting at me, or kicking me, or raping me, he was ignoring me.
He acted as though I was a burden to have around. While he traeted Bellatrix like she was the sun and the moon of this place. He was acting like she was his wife, and he never raised a hand to her, like he did to others and myself.
She acted as though it made her special, like he liked her best. But I knew that wasn't true, or at least, I used to. Now my doubts were creeping into my brain, something that never used to happen. I wondered why they were coming now.
They never used to come to me. When Tom was first in power, I was always so proud. I was even used to the beatings, and the rape, and the shouting. I could deal with it because they also came with sweetness and tenderness. I used to know who he as, now it was like I was looking at a ghost. A snake, white, horrible ghost.
He wasn't the same rational Tom, he was more rash, more desperate. He was so blood thirsty, he was even killing halfbloods now, and they were torturing innocent muggles. Not just killing them, but torturing them. He was letting the Death Eaters go crazy, and he was getting Giants, and werewolves, and half breeds.
It wasn't the Tom I knew, he is different now. He isn't thinking properly. And every time I try to talk to him, to convince him. He shuts me out and growls that it isn't my place.
That stung. Because it was my place. I was his wife, I used to hold as much respect as he did. He would always ask for my opinion and he would let me comtrol the death eater, and he actually treated me like he loved me. But now... Now everyone knew. They knew what he did to me and they knew what I really was.
It was hulmilating, and it made me angry. And my anger caused me to have doubts, and my doubts stayed because Tom was out of control.
"What do you think Emily?" the cold, mocking voice of Tom said, making me snap out of my thoughts. I immediately put my face in a indifferent state.
"I think what you think, my Lord." I responded, feeling suddenly so tired.
"Oh Emily, please try to have a personality." He cackled, followed by the cackle of Bellatrix.
I cracked.
"Well," I whispered dangerously. "Personally, I don't think you want to hear what I have to say, My lord!" I mocked.
"That's why you have been making sure to silence me, these last few months. That's why you have belittled me, and made sure that none of your followers have a once of respect for me! So yes, I will say what you want me to day, and that is 'I think what you think, my fucking Lord!'" When I finally finished, everyone was silent.
The air had a chill, and the stench of fear and excitement filled the air. They were waiting for him to hurt me, to make me pay. But there was nothing he could do. I had had it all done to me, I was used to it all. There was nothing he could do that would make me feel anymore pain than I am in right now.
But Tom just sits there, and says nothing. It frightens me more than it should, but I stood my ground, and glared right back.
Bellatrix stands up, and turns towards me. Her face is wild, her expression mad.
"How dare you, you cowardly little wench!" Bellatrix snarled at me. I stare at her for a second and then stare back at tom, before I start laughing.
"Really? You're going to have your slag girlfriend punish me?" I spit at him, suddenly very angry. Before she could see my wand movement, I slashed my wand though the air, and bellatrix's scream filled the room fro a second. SHe clutched her stomach, blood starting to form around her abdomen.
"You want to play little girl, then fine." I growled, as I fought off her own spells, and fired spells after spells at her. Finally I made a snake appear. A sense of peacefulness washed over me as I stared into the snakes eyes. It had evil, and hunger in it;s eyes.
'Kill the girl," I whispered to it, and ignored the gasps around me. It slithered towards Bellatrix and she stared at me with confused eyes, as did everyone else. I didn't understand why they were so confused, but I didn't care. I watched as the snake sprung at Bellatrix, but before it could meet the mark of her neck, it exploded.
My head snapped towards tom, who was calmly raising his wand.
"You...You.." I stuttered. "I almost fucking had her. What? Do you need you precious girlfriend so fucking badly. Why don't you and your insane mistress go to hell!" I yelled abuse at him.
Tom stood up, and was beside me in a second, he roughly pulled me away from the room, his nails making me bleed.
"What are you going to do? Not like you can kill me, not unless you want to kill yourself!" I hissed at him.
He easily brought me in front of him and slapped me.
"Shut it, you fifthly whore." he spit at me. I decided to be quiet, only so he wouldn't hit me again.
He dragged me me to the door of the dungeons, and opened the door, before he pushed me in. I stumbled down a couple steps, almost falling but I caught myself.
I heard him lock the door, and that's when the smell hit me. The stench of blood, and sweat, and urine. I hated coming down here. It was sad and horrible.
I walked down the rest of the stairs and grabbed the grub that someone had prepared. It looked like grey sludge. It looked so disgusting I wanted to gag as I was looking at it. This was a servants job, and everyone knew it.
He was now deeming me as a fucking servant. The thought made me a bit sick. I gave each prisinor their food, trying to block out their faces, so I wouldn't see them in my nightmares. I paused when I got to the last cell.
I gasped as a old woman turned around and stared right at me.
"Emily! Its you!" The woman gasped out. I quickly put her food in an turned around, trying to breath.
"Oh Emily, you poor thing I feel bad for you Emily!" The woman gasped out, as blood trickles down her lip.
"Why would you feel bad for me?" I laughed in her face.
"You think he loves you and you think you love him but you are wrong." She said gravely.
"What are you on about?" I spit out.
"He who shall not be named will never completely love you, he cannot. It is impossible for him. He is not Tom anymore, he is completely evil. Not even human. How could he still love you?" She rasped out.
"You are lying!" I said, striking her hard. Her head swing back an it the cold, hard floor. She slowly brought her head up and met her eyes with mine
"No, no I am not. An you, you were so sweet, so pure, and so innocent. He turned you dark dear. He hurt you so badly. He made you think that no one would ever love you. He manipulated you, the moment you got to Hogwarts." She said, her face showing ancient sadness.
My wand shook, and I couldn't speak. My throat was tightening, and tears threatened to come out of my eyes.
This women had been my favorite teacher at Hogwarts, and now she was reveling to me that she knew I was abused.
"I forgive you Emily!" She said desperately, grasping my hand. I let her, shocked at her words.
"You couldn't have done anything. He would have murdered you if you had tried to get away. But the end of his reign is coming near, and the order can protect you!"
"No one can protect me..." I murmured.
"You poor child, you have been brainwashed and tricked to believe that he is the only one that cares about you. That is so, so, so untrue."
"Look at you, you're black and blue! You can try to cover yourself as much as you want, but they can all see it. They hear the abuse and they see the bruises, and none of the help you. You're family," she spit. "Doesn't care about you the way I and Dumbledore and your friends do."
"What friends?" I asked quietly.
"Your old friends from school, they still are loyal to you. They miss you!" She cried.
"You don't understand!" I weeped. "There is so much no one knows. I can never leave, he would find me. I would just be putting everyone I danger! And I-I love him. I cannot help it. If you could see him in his tender moment you would see why!"
"How many Tender moments have you had lately with him my dear?" She asked.
As I opened my mouth to defend him, but I realized she was right.
I opened my mouth to say something else, but I was pulled back, by my hair. I winced at Tom's furious face.
"What are you doing!? You should be feeding the other prisoners, being fucking useful for once!" he yelled at me.
"Let me go!" I yelled at him, thrashing and trying to get out of his grip.
"I don't think so you fucking bitch!" He growled, and started to drag me out of the dungeon, letting my head bump the stairs every time he traveled up one.
I screamed and screamed, trying to get someone to help, even though I knew, no one would save me. No one would ever save me.
Okay so i wrote it, and i have so many ideas sow, and i know i haven't writeen for months, and now i have left you with a clifhanger.
Trust me, i hate me as much as you hate me ;)
I'll be uploading again by next weekend, but in the meentime you can check out my tumblr, and ask me questions, and stuff like that.
And you can follow me, even though i'm a "Larry" blog, i barley ever post 1d stuff, it's more my personal tumblr.