Bitter Suite

Chapter Four

Authors Notes: Thank you so much for all the reviews, and that you to the two communities I have been added to. I am very excited to see how much this flick is taking off. Gonna take a break after this chapter and catch up on some of my other flicks, but you won't be without Steve and Tony for long I promise! If there is anything you would like in the story drop me a line and I will do by best to use it. And yes, you get a little steam this chapter before I leave you til next week

Andy: Lol yes I do usually have a thing for using song times as titles, cause seriously I SUCK at working out titles, but this one was taken from the episode of Xena with the same name.

Songs used in this chapter:

If you were gay: by Avenue Q

Do I have to say the words: by Bryan Adams

Stark's dreams started pretty normally for him: some fine wine, a dinner date with a lovely lady. They danced under a pale moon, on the beach barefoot. It was a truly perfect moment, everything he could have dreamt of. HE took in her long raven haired beauty, her pale white skin, so flawless glistening in the soft moonlight. Dressed in a black garment so tight it looked like it was spray painted onto her flesh, making him want to see exactly what was under it. A slow number started playing, and suddenly they were no longer alone on the beach. Several couples were dancing away as well. Softly, lovingly.

Someone tapped Stark on the shoulder lightly, "Steve!" he said with a smile."

"May I cut in?" he asked.

"Of course, anything for you." Tony answered, stepping away from the lady, "She is all yours."

"I want to dance with you, you fool." Steve said laughing, as he took Tony's hands and placed them on his hip and shoulder as the girl ran off annoyed. He rested his head lightly on Tony's shoulder as he allowed the other man to lead swirling him around on the dance floor.

"Oh don't they look so cute together."

"So adorable!"

"Two men, that's disgusting!"

Tony pulled away, but Steve wouldn't let him go anywhere. "Don't let an idiot ruin how you feel about me, about us. I'm not ashamed of our love, I don't think we have anything to hide. Do you?"

"Gods, no I love you with every piece of my heart, my Solider." Tony murmured.

"And I do you, my Man of Iron." Steve said, kissing Stark on the lips, so softly, so tenderly they almost weren't touching at all. His hand reaching down to rub the back of his hand over the front of Tony's jeans.

"Save it for later Soldier boy and you had better be wearing that suit." Tony said breathily, trying not to moan at his touch.

"So had you lover." Steve said, with a very suggestive wink, coming in for another kiss.

Tony woke up, drenched in sweat, still feeling the other man's touch on his lips. The salty taste of a man fresh in his mind. Under the desk his trousers were straining under the stiffness of himself. "Oh dear god!" Tony muttered. He slammed himself upright, and into the shower. Dropping his clothing all over the floor. "How can I be gay?" he thought as he scrubbed, "After all those woman, all these years? I'd have known before now? Surely?"

Tony scrubbed his skin hard enough to take off a few layers of skin, leaving himself very pink and sore, bleeding in a few spots. "How on earth at my age can I suddenly be gay!" he shook his head, "No it's not possible, it's just Pepper on my mind playing tricks with me." he decided as he towelled himself off.

At the back of his mind, a dark voice whispered, "Then why did you enjoy it so much? "He squashed the thought as quickly as it arrived, and draping a towel around his hips, Tony went to the Kitchen to find himself something to eat. Pepper was already in the kitchen making him a stack of pancakes, chatting on the phone to Coulson as she did so. With a strange and extremely unwanted song playing in the back ground.

Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

"What the hell is that?" Stark complained, grabbing a mug of coffee out of her hands.

"Nothing," Pepper answered with a smile, "A little hung over are we?"

"That's none of your business, Jarvis a song, anything else!" he snapped.

Rescue me from the mire
Whisper words of desire
Rescue me, darling rescue me
With your arms open wide
Want you here by my side
Come to me, darling rescue me
When this world's closing in
There's no need to pretend
Set me free, darling rescue me, oh

I don't want to let you go

So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today

Pepper giggled seeing his face change.

"Is this meant to be funny?" Stark demanded, "Jarvis off before you end up as a pile of scrap!"

"Just making sure that you understand that we really don't care about your being…."

"Don't say that, I am not! How many women have you found in my bed?" he demanded.

"Have you ever wondered if that is why you sleep with so many women?" she asked, "Deep down you can't admit the truth to yourself."

"What truth? That I'm some pervert that enjoys tail?"

"Why not?"

"Because it is wrong, it's disgusting, and I like breasts too much!"

"And you said that the 1940's were an era of misunderstanding. Didn't you say that Steve had nothing to hide or fear about telling people he is gay?" she demanded.

"That's different."

"And why is that?"

"Because that's not me!"

"So it's okay for him to dig guys, but not for you?"

"Enough Pepper, I'm not discussing this anymore."

"We are discussing this Mr Stark, until you give me a good answer why you can't be in love with him."

"That's it, just get a girl here, any girl and I will screw her in front of you. Then you will admit that I am not gay, and drop this." Tony exploded.

"Will you stoop kidding yourself and admit that you love him, and that's why all of this is driving you so crazy." She pushed.

"Get you, you are fired." Tony snapped.

"Oh, so you don't like what I say, so you are gonna fire the head of your company? The woman that knows every single detail of your life, and you can't even change your socks without?" Pepper demanded.

"My personal life is none of your business, get out before I put you out."

"Fine, but don't expect me to come back." Pepper said storming out.

"Jarvis lock all the doors, let no one in." Tony said softly.

"It has been done."

Alone finally, Tony wept for his friend, his life, and the emotions that he couldn't share nor express. The feelings that if he gave into them could make him eternally happy. But that wasn't him, he wasn't worthy of anyone caring for him. After all his own father never had. His guardian had tried to kill him for the company. And Pepper?

Well Pepper had fallen in love with another man, and left him all alone. Just like everyone else always did, his whole life. He wasn't worth saving, Tony knew that. In a lot of ways he wished that he had died back in Iraq when he was captured. He'd never been the same again ever since. He tried to be Tony Stark, the billionaire lady killer, but inside he was crying all the time. The only thing that made it easier was the drinking, and now and then using the Ironman suit for good.

"You might not be a threat, but you need to stop pretending that you are a hero." Steve's words came back to him all too clearly.

His heart was so heavy, so full of pain, so worried that he was going to lose the best thing in his life. He wanted no more then to crawl back into bed and lose a few days with a good woman and some fine wine. Forgetting these complicated feelings and wrongful emotions. He had a duty, more then that he wanted to be there for Steve so he had to be a little less selfish.

Wearily Tony headed to the hospital to sit on vidual at Steve's bedside. He relieved a dozing Coulson from his bedside. "Time to rest old man." Tony said kindly.

Coulson blinked a few times, trying to wake himself up yawning. "What time is it?" he asked.

Tony tried to focus on his watch face. "A little after seven I think?"

"At night"? Phil asked.

"Yeah must be, it's getting dark." Tony answered, "How long have you been here?"

"I think since about nine this morning." He answered, "Barton came to take a turn, but I didn't feel right leaving. Steve should be with family."

Tony nodded, taking a seat across from the agent. "This there any change yet?"

Phil shook his head, "They are struggling to keep him sedated given his abilities."

"Is he going to be okay?" Tony asked concerned.

"They think so, don't worry. He's healing remarkably fast, far better then they had hoped." The agent promised. Tony nodded tiredly, drinking his coffee, finally remembering to hand over the second cup to the other man, who drank it eagerly. "Pepper rang me, she was upset." Phil commented.

Tony sighed, "I shall have to grovel to her later on. She didn't deserve how I treated her."

Phil nodded, "It's hard to watch someone you love suffer, she knows that. She will forgive you, hasn't she always?"

Tony sighed, "Pepper Potts deserved a better boss then me."

"Just like Steven Rogers deserves a better boyfriend then you as well?" Phil asked.

Tony's breathe caught, "Is there no one that doesn't know about us?"

Phil shook his head, "We've been watching you two dance about each other for too long to not have noticed. I think Natasha is currently in the lead for guessing when you two will have your first kiss."

"I am not gay!" Tony muttered, "At least I don't think I am, but every time I think I might lose him. That I might not see him tomorrow, it terrifies me and I still don't quite understand why."

Phil shook his head, "Have you never been in love Tony? Hats exactly what it feels. Like you have lost everything when you are apart. That the only comfort you will ever know is in the other's arms."

"For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do." Tony admitted.

"When he wakes up, you tell him how you feel. You allow yourself to fall helplessly and deeply into love. You make him the happiest man alive, because you two sure as hell deserve some happiness in your lives." Coulson answered.

It was the longest speech that he had ever heard the man give in all the years he had known him. Tony didn't get a chance to answer, as Steve moaned in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open. Tony jumped to his feet, dropping the half-drunk coffee, to be at the side of the bed. "Take it easy, slow movements." He warned.

"TONY!" Steve exclaimed, his eyes fully open. Hand reaching out towards him, "Why are you here? What happened?"

Tony took his hand gently, "You had a little accident, but tis going to be okay. The doctors are happy with your recovery."

Steve was a little surprised, but gripped Tony's hand firmly. Comforted by the other man's touch, what he had longed for for so long. "Are we okay?" he asked, "I'm fuzzy, but didn't we argue?" He wasn't quite clear what it had been about, but he was pretty sure there had been harsh words spoken. He couldn't help but glance down at their joined hands once more.

Tony was almost relieved that he didn't remember the fight, at least it made things a bit easier now. Giving him time to think of a way to make it up to the other man. Steve's eyes were so confused, so needy, so beautiful, he could lose himself in them. The warmth of the other man's touch, distracting him far more then he could have thought possible. "We are fine, you get better okay"? Tony asked.

Steve smiled, "Okay, but talk after please?"

"I promise we can talk as much as you like, just sleep now for me." Tony said, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Okay, for you." Steve muttered sleepily, closing his eyes, the medications taking him back under in moments. He was still holding Tony's hand in almost a death grip. Too worried about waking him again to try to let go, or so he told himself. Tony dragged a chair closer and sat there holding hands with him. Only then did he realise that Coulson had politely slipped away to leave them some privacy. Sat here with the man he cared for, he wouldn't sat love, he couldn't. He felt more complete then he had in years.