Rayna sits in her seat on the plane, attempting to appear calm. Internally, she is going crazy. Deacon is not there yet but she knows that he will be arriving soon. She is anxious about seeing him again for the first time since his birthday. She hasn't heard from him at all since she received his short response to her text message. She knows that they will not be able to have any serious conversations while they are with everyone else on the jet but she hopes that he will not ignore her completely.
A few moments later, Deacon hurries onto the plane. He is late like always. The thought makes Rayna smile for a second. Even after all of these years, Deacon is still the same guy that she fell in love with. She remembers the day that he joined her band. She had been trying to find a guitar player for months but none of them had measured up. Deacon had walked into his audition ten minutes late but the second she saw him she knew that he would be the right guy for the job. The chemistry between them was almost instantaneous. Rayna is drawn from her memory when she sees Deacon approaching.
As he draws closer to her, he looks at her as casually as he can. Rayna's heart thuds fervently in her chest. She feels like it is about to burst through her skin. His hair is messy and he looks like he hasn't gotten much sleep. She wonders if he has been plagued with thoughts of them, day and night, like she has. Despite his obvious exhaustion, he is as handsome as ever. When Rayna looks into his eyes, she feels as if she is drowning in him. Now that she is close to him, she feels the familiar tension building. She can't turn her eyes away from him.
When he sees her staring at him, Deacon averts his eyes quickly. He can't handle being so close to her. All of the emotions that he feels about her are only amplified by her presence. The most powerful emotion he feels is love but the hurt and betrayal are still prominent. Deacon can't help but notice the low-cut blouse that she is wearing. If they were still together, the sight alone would encourage him to drag her off to the bathroom and have his way with her. Rayna knows exactly how to get to him. She usually doesn't even have to try. When he finally gathers the strength to pull himself away from Rayna, Deacon slowly makes his way to the back of the plane and sits down beside Juliette.
"Subtle entrance, Romeo," Juliette remarks sarcastically.
Deacon grumbles something incoherent and turns his head to look out the window. He tries to think of anything else besides Rayna. He tries to push her from his mind but she remains there as stubbornly as ever. Throughout the trip, he continuously glances in Rayna's direction. Most of the time, she is talking quietly with Bucky. A few times, they look up at each other at exactly the same time. As soon as it happens, both of them look down, afraid of getting caught.
Deacon can't take it any longer. He needs to have a moment of privacy. He needs to go somewhere that he cannot be tempted to look at her. Somewhere that he won't be tempted to admire the way the light makes her hair look even more beautiful than it usually does. He gets up without saying anything to Juliette and heads toward the only private place on the whole plane.
Rayna tries to listen to what Bucky is saying but her mind keeps wandering to Deacon. She notices that he keeps looking at her. She hopes that it is a good sign but worries that she might be imagining it. She sees Deacon get up and walk towards the back of the plane. She wants to follow him. She wants to talk to him and see where they stand.
"Buck, can you give me a sec? I have to use the restroom," she says, her eyes never leaving Deacon's retreating form.
Bucky looks at her suspiciously but only nods at her in response.
When she gets up, she has to steady herself. Her legs are shaking slightly from the nerves. She takes a deep breath and forces herself to adopt the confident exterior that she has used as a shield for so many years. When she reaches the back of the plane, she pretends to be busy making a cup of coffee in the small kitchen while she is waiting for Deacon to emerge from the bathroom.
Deacon sits in the bathroom thinking about all that has transpired in the past week or so. Everything has changed. His relationship with Rayna is now more complicated than it ever has been before. He still loves her and that will never change but, at this point, he doesn't think that they can be together. He looks at his reflection in the small mirror and splashes water on his face. The feel of the cold water on his face helps him to clear his mind. He decides that he is ready to go back to his seat and focus on talking about the tour with Juliette.
When Deacon exits the bathroom, he looks up and sees Rayna. He is surprised by her presence. Being so close to her, so suddenly, catches him off guard. He tries to control his emotions and remember what he has been thinking about in the bathroom. He sees her pouring some coffee into a mug. She looks up at him, trying to act surprised to see him. Her eyes linger on his lips momentarily as she fantasizes about kissing him. She decides that she needs to break the silence. She came back here to talk to him for a reason and she intends to make the most of this situation.
"Um, hi," she says. "Want some coffee?"
"Sure," he responds.
She fills up another mug and hands it to him. She smiles at him as he takes the mug from her.
"Thank you," he tells her.
He returns her smile. He is leaning slightly towards her, his body relaxing in her presence. A second later, he realizes what he is doing. He realizes that he is letting himself slip under her spell. He straightens up quickly, removing the smile from his face.
"You're welcome," she answers.
They stand there for a few minutes, sipping their coffee and looking at each other cautiously.
"How are you?" Rayna asks, breaking the silence.
"I can't complain. I've been better and I've been worse," he replies.
Rayna nods. She wishes that he would open up to her. She knows that it is her fault that he is acting like this but she can't help feeling a little annoyed. Even in his darkest days, she always stood by him. She had always been there for him. Why is he unable to stand by her now? Why can't he forgive her like she has forgiven him so many times in the past?
"I should probably be getting back to Juliette. She wants to talk about making some changes to her set," he tells her.
Rayna tenses. She doesn't want him to leave. She wants things to go back to the way they were before. She wants him to drag her into the bathroom and make love to her. She wishes that everything could be forgotten and they could go back to being passionately in love.
"Yeah, I'm sure you don't want to leave her waiting," she answers, feeling oddly jealous.
She wishes that she had never fired him. She misses having him in her band. She misses huddling in corners with him while discussing music. She misses the feeling that she gets when she is on stage with him. On top of all that, if he was still in her band he wouldn't be able to avoid her. They would be forced to talk everything out for the sake of their music.
Deacon turns his back and starts to walk away.
"Deacon, wait," Rayna says, just loudly enough for him to hear her.
He pauses and turns back around hesitantly.
"Um… do you… do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?" she asks.
The second after she asks the question, she wishes that she could take it back. She doesn't want to appear weak. She doesn't want to be needy. She fears feeling rejected. She knows that it will break her heart even more if he says that he will never be able to forgive her.
Deacon sighs. His eyes look heavy with sadness. He wants to tell her that he will be able to forgive her but the memory of her deception is still too fresh in his mind. It has left a wound on his heart that will take time to heal.
"I don't know, Ray. I still need more time," he responds.
"Okay, I understand," she answers, trying to hold back the tears.
She tells herself that she is strong, that she will not cry in front of him.
Deacon hates to see her upset. Ever since the day he first met her, he has had a strong desire to make her happy. The fact that she is the one who caused the situation is the only thing that is stopping him from taking her in his arms and kissing the pain away. He is angry with her for what she has done. His anger makes him think that he is the one who deserves to be comforted, not her. Despite his anger, his love for her softens his heart.
"We'll be okay though, Ray. No matter what," he says, trying to cheer her up.
Rayna shakes her head. Her lips are shaking with emotion.
"How are we gonna be okay?" she asks.
She knows that she will never be okay without him. She already feels like she will regret the lie for the rest of her life.
"Trust me, Ray," he tells her.
She swallows, trying to push the lump out of her throat. She wonders if he will ever be able to trust her again.
"Okay, Deacon," she responds.
Overcome with emotion, Deacon comes back towards her and gives her a soft kiss on the top of her head.
"We'll talk more later," he promises.
Rayna grabs his wrist and stops him from walking away. She is inspired by the emotion that she can see in his eyes. She feels like being bold. The tension between them is growing. Rayna looks directly into his eyes, a determined look on her face. She reaches up and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. He responds immediately, overcome by the desire that she makes him feel. The kiss leaves them gasping for air.
When they separate, Deacon runs his hand through his hair distractedly. He is upset with himself for allowing that to happen. He is upset with himself for letting his guard down. The kiss was amazing but he knows that it is not the right time to be kissing Rayna. He gives her a long look, his eyes full of conflicting emotions. He musters all of his remaining strength and forces himself to walk back to his seat.
Rayna watches him as he walks back to Juliette. She would give anything to have him back by her side. She takes a few minutes to collect herself and heads back to her seat next to Bucky.
Although they both appear to be discussing business, neither of them can concentrate for the rest of the plane ride. Their minds are filled with millions of memories, worries, and wishes. Neither of them can stop thinking about the kiss that they had just shared or about how right it had felt to be back in each other's arms.
Later that day, Rayna is getting settled into her hotel room. The penthouse is roomy and comfortable but Rayna can't help feeling overwhelmed by the loneliness of staying in such a big place alone. She needs to get out and get some air. She exits her room and heads for the elevator. Once she is in the elevator she pushes the button for the lobby. She is lost in her thoughts when the elevator stops on the fourth floor to let someone else in. She is surprised to see that it is Deacon. She wonders how she always seems to end up in the elevator with him. Deacon hesitates when he sees her but decides to step into the elevator anyway. He feels her presence beside him. The tension between them is only increased by what happened earlier.
"This seems to happen a lot," Rayna comments, amused at their chance meeting in an elevator.
Deacon looks at her. He is overwhelmed by her beauty. His mind flashes to the kiss that they had shared in a similar elevator and then to the kiss that they had shared on the plane. The memories cloud his mind. He can no longer think clearly. Why does he even care if she lied to him? Why does it matter if she hurt him when she is standing here next to him, looking so beautiful? Deacon turns to her. While he is looking at her, he realizes that he can't deny his love for her. He can't contain his desire. He moves closer to her. She looks at him in surprise.
"Deacon, what are you doing?" she asks as he approaches.
"Will you just stand still?" he requests as he reaches for her.
He puts his hand on the back of her head and pulls her toward him. When their lips meet, they can both feel the electricity. Rayna opens her mouth for him and Deacon kisses her more deeply. The kiss is full of every ounce of passion that they have suppressed since they have been apart. They are burning for each other.
They break apart when the elevator dings. Both of them are out of breath.
"Should we talk about all of this?" Rayna asks him as they walk out of the elevator.
Now that they are out of the elevator, Deacon's head clears. He remembers the pain. He remembers that he is not ready to forgive her yet.
"It doesn't change anything, Ray," he says sadly as he walks away.
Rayna is rooted to the spot. She cannot move. Her heart is in pieces and Deacon is the only one who can help her put it back together.