Disclaimer: I don't own AMC's "The Walking Dead," wishful thinking aside.

Authors Note #1: This exists purely because I was challenged to write something of this ilk. And I think I broke my soul in the process, just saying.

Warnings: Contains spoilers for all three seasons of the Walking Dead, adult language, canon appropriate violence, gore, suicide, canon character death and mature content.

Triage

Chapter Six

Rick hesitated, pausing before the fall. But he just closed his eyes. He knew what the man wanted, what he couldn't say. But still he had to ask. Just like he had for Jim, for Dale, for Andrea…

He would have taken care of it himself, saved them all the trouble, if he hadn't been unarmed. But his tongue twisted before he could say the words out loud. He didn't think he could meet Carol's eyes otherwise.

One of Judith's pudgy little arms rose into view – wind-milling and angry. Tired…no, hungry – probably both. He didn't blame her. He tickled one of her feet, pulling a surprised little hiccup out of her as she leaned backwards, making grabby-hands at him and burbling happily until he caved and let her grab his finger. She squealed and he struggled around a smile.

"Daryl-" Rick tried, his voice harsh, but agonized in a way that only served to grind his nerves. It was well meant, but in reality, it only served to remind him of everything he'd already lost.

He wanted to just reach up and demand the man's gun. But he didn't. He couldn't. Not with the others-

He'd read somewhere that it is only when a man is facing death that he is truly free. He'd always wondered if that were true. But now he called bullshit. Death was just another cage, or least the moments leading up to it were anyway. He was too busy worryin' about the others to give two shits about himself - about what he wanted.

It was Carol that saved him, her voice soft and quiet from somewhere over his left shoulder. All shifting softness and supple curves as she leaned over him, resting her hand on Rick's knee as she caught the man's eye. "Can you give us a moment?"

He missed the man's response, but suddenly everyone was moving. People were dipping down, whispering final goodbyes. He just nodded, lost. His stomach churned, side aching, the pain suddenly growing – spreading deep in his gut until the faces and names melded together. Reality and conscious thought were shunted to the side as his body and brain waged war just underneath his skin.

His chin dipped into his chest. Tired.

But he was startled out of himself a moment later when he realized that Glenn's hand was on his shoulder. He blinked; he had no idea how long it had been there, only that it was there, squeezing gently. He blinked again and suddenly he had double vision, his mind taking him back to that moment in Atlanta when the two of them ducked around that trash can, bickering in the alleyway - leaving him speechless as the memory played out in real time. Only it didn't stop. And suddenly he was back on that rooftop, face twisting as he yelled his brother's name.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He needed it to stop, he couldn't-

But he caught the kid's eye regardless - nodding. He didn't know how to feel about it when something in the man's eyes just broke in response. The muscles in his face rippled, like he was biting down on the inside of his cheek as he forced himself to rise, letting Maggie pull him away as Rick cleared his throat somewhere behind them, awkward and strained.

"Give them some space guys," Rick finally rasped, voice hitching, already sounding worrisomely distant. He wasn't sure why, but he caught the man by the arm before he pulled away.

Something passed between them in that moment, something wordless but infinite. It was something that didn't need words, something that was more than words. Something that said "thank you", "brother", "good luck", and "I'll be see'in you," all at the same time. He nearly choked on it. But he meant it. Every god damned second of it.

"Keep them safe. Make it-make it count," he murmured.

Rick nodded, looking as though he was going to say something more before he took his hand, dirt-streaked and mottled, and brought it into his own, into something that was less of a handshake and more of an embrace as he hesitated, collecting himself before he spoke.

"I will. You know I will."

And then he was gone, his long legs unsteady as he staggered more than walked. Spine stiff backed and defeated as his footsteps faded, moving away until it was just him and Carol.

He breathed for what felt like the first time in hours.

For a long time they didn't speak. She was crying. He was numb, off-kilter. For a long moment, he just stared, memorizing the lines of her face and the freckled span of her skin. There were salt tracks trickling down her cheeks, falling across his skin like rain as he tried to figure out what to say. It seemed cruel, cruel to be struggling for words now that he finally had her here - alone.

He reached up, thumbing a smudge of blood from her cheek, nearly losing it completely when she captured it. She rubbed her face into the curve of his palm, mouthing the skin as his breathing went ragged - his control fraying.

"You made it," he rasped, his voice cracking, quietly horrified to realize that the brave face he'd slapped on when Rick'd left was failing.

There was something broken in her eyes, something that existed despite her smile, something he couldn't make sense of. It was something he probably should have been paying attention to, but there was no time. Not when her fingers were rubbing circles into his skin, infusing him with warmth as he counted out the hitches in her breathing.

His girl.

"Yeah, - yeah I made it," she whispered, trying her best to grin through her tears as she knelt above him, her short hair spiked with blood and sweat. But he swore she'd never looked so beautiful.

His smile, shot-through with relief and something else, something he wasn't comfortable unpacking any more than he had to, was more of a grimace than anything else, but he figured it still counted.

A/N #2: This is my first attempt at such a genre, so please let me know what you think! Reviews and constructive critiquing are love! – The last chapter should be up in the next few days!

"Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things." ― Arthur Schopenhauer, (From Parerga and Paralipomena)