Jump City Talk!

By Strix Moonwing

Strix Moonwing: Hi! Strix and StarK here with another episode of Jump City Talk!

StarfireK: Today we are interviewing Beast Boy!

Strix: Poor thing…I hope he survives.

StarK: Strix Moonwing does not own Teen Titans or any other show!

Episode 3: Beast Boy

Scene shows a brightly lit studio filled with audience and fans. On the stage is the famous Strix Moonwing, but strangely her best friend/co-host/partner in crime, StarfireK, is missing. Strix walks up to the front of the stage and waves to the audience.

"Hello! And welcome back to…." Shouted Strix.

"Jump City Talk!" roared the audience.

"Okay you are probably wondering why I am by myself…well let's just say StarK had a little problem yesterday. What about I show in a flashback!" said Strix.

Flashback….

"Wow! That was a great episode we did today Strix!" cried StarK as she and Strix walked out of the studio.

"Yeah! I know! Let's celebrate by going to Starbucks!" cried Strix shifting into a giant gold and white bat from the Chronicles of the Underland series.

"Okay! But…why there?" asked StarK jumping on Strix's back.

"Because the workers there are afraid of bats so I can get the food free!" screeched Strix flapping her giant bat wings and flying away to Starbucks with StarK.

As soon as they landed at the Starbucks parking lot all the workers there screamed their heads off and ran out the door…all except this one goth guy working at the counter.

"Uhhhhh….dudette. You're a giant bat." Said the goth guy in a monotone voice.(think Raven!)

"Yes I know…" screeched Strix baring her bat fangs in a smile. StarK inched away from her.

"Whatever….what do you want?" asked the goth guy. Strix and StarK looked at the menu.

"Uhhhh….do you have any bugs? Maybe mites?" asked Strix.(I have a bat stomach now! That's what they eat!)

"Let me check on the floor…" The guy looks on the floor. "Nope…sorry bat girl."

"Stupid bat stomach….I should of turned into a winged lion."

StarK looked at the goth guy. "Soooo…what's your specialty here?"

"Coffee…and cookies….sugar cookies." Said the goth guy.

StarK brightened up. "Ohhhhhh….sugar cookies! I'll take…twenty extra large bags!"

"Uhhhh…StarK? I don't think you should eat all that." said Strix.

"I know! That's why I'm ordering thirty cups of coffee to go with it!" cried StarK. "It evens out!"

"Dudette…do you go to math class?" asked the goth guy.

"Yes! My teacher said that I'm special!" cried StarK.

"Whatever….will that be cash or charge?"

"Uhhhhhh…Strix? Do you happen to have any cash on you?"

Strix sighs and changes back to human form and gives out money.

"Thanks! Okay now let's eat!" Grabs bags and gulps it down in one bite. StarK drops empty bag. Suddenly her eyes get really big. Then really small. Then goes big again. Then she stands still, trembling violently.

Strix gets worried. "Uhhhhh…StarK? Are you alright?" Creeps up to StarK and pokes her. BIG MISTAKE!

StarK jumps ten feet in the air consumed with sugar and caffeine to create the world's biggest sugar rush ever! "Whaoooooooohoooooo!"

Strix jumps in surprise and lands in the goth guys arms and both are watching StarK with fearful expressions on their faces. StarK then lands next to them on the counter. She starts talking really fast to the two.

"HiI'mStarK!YoulooklikeRaven!IlikeRaven!IthinkRavenlikesBeastboy!Beastboyisgreen!Ilikegreen!Doyoulikegreen?Ithinkeveerythingshouldbegreen!Isawamoviewerealiensweregreen!Iknowanalien!HernameisStarfire!IthinkRobinhasacrushonher!IknowRobin'srealname!It'sDickGrayson!Isn'tthatfunny?Hedoesn'thavepowersthough!Ihavepowers!Ihaveflamepowers!Wanttosee?Whattosee!" With that she starts shooting fireballs everywhere.

Soon all of Starbucks is in flames. Strix transforms into a winged lion and grabs both the goth guy and StarK and flies out the building before it explodes into a million pieces and sending coffee and sugar cookies everywhere.

End Flashback…

"So you see StarK still hasn't recovered from her sugar and caffeine rush soooo…we had to give her some….quiet time."

In a room in the back of the studio…..

"Sugar! We need Sugarrrr! Precious Sugar! Must have sugar! We will destroy you for sugar!" screamed StarK pounding the steel door with her fireballs. Two gordianans were guarding her.

Gordieran 1: Do you think the door will hold?

Gordieran 2: Of course! I mean the human girl can't be as bad as the Tameranian we had to guard last time! Right?

StarK: Sugar! Give me Sugar!(Door shakes violently)

Guards: I think we're going to need a stronger door.

Back to Show……

"So since StarK can't be my co-host for this episode I got my friend Wave Maker be the co-host!" shouted Strix. The audience cheers loudly as Wave Maker(WM) walks in.

"Hi Strix! No time no see! So when do we get the show started?" asked WM.

"As soon as Keyblade gets our guest." Replied Strix.

"Soooo…what do you what to do til then?"

Strix thinks for a moment. "Want see the quote of the day?"

"Sure!"

Voice: It's the quote of the Day with StarfireK…..

StarK: (eyes twitching madly)YOU HAVE SUGAR! DON'T YOU BIG VOICE! GIVE ME MY SUGAR!(flings fireballs everywhere and starts laughing like a maniac.)

Voice: No! Stop! Don't do that! I don't have sugar! Arrggghhhhhh! My speaker's on fire! Help!

StarK: Muewaaahhahaahahah! Sugar good! Sugar! Must have sugar!

At Titans Tower….

"Okay guys! Listen up! From now on all doors and windows must be locked and no body can leave without persimission! Got it!" shouted Robin at his teammates.

"Friend Robin…I do not understand why we must do this." Said Starfire.

Cyborg sat up. "Because Starfire…There is two crazy talk show girls who are trying to interview all of us!"

"I don't see why that is bad." Said Raven.

"That's because they haven't interviewed you yet! Me and Cyborg have been interviewed! It's brings nothing but pain and torture!" Robin's eyes twitch as he says this. Raven, Starfire, and Beast Boy inch away from them.

"Dude! I think you are overreacting! I mean they can't be that bad! And plus even if they are…they can't get us in here! Right!" said Beast Boy. Suddenly a bright light filled the room and a handsome teenager boy appeared.

He grabs Beast Boy's arm and said, "Don't worry! I'm only here for the green one!" Then he and Beast Boy disappear in rush of light leaving the rest of the titans alone.

"I think I know what you mean Robin." Said Raven. Robin and Cyborg faint on spot.

Back at the Show….

Keybade and Beast Boy appear on the stage next to Strix and WM.

"Yay! You got our special guest! Thanks Keyblade!" cried Strix.

"No problem Strix!" said Keyblade. Beast Boy looked from Strix to WM to Keyblade. He eyes widened in fear.

"Dudes! I know you three! You (points to Keyblade) I saw you and another girl in the Janitor's Closet!" cried Beast Boy.

"Hey! What comes from the Janitor's Closet stays in the Janitor's Closet!" shouted Keyblade blushing.

"And you!" Cried Beast Boy pointing at Wavemaker. "You and your crazy friends came to the Tower and made Robin and Slade get married!"

"Hey! They got divorced! Didn't they!" said WM grinning evilly at the memory of the wedding.

"And you!" said BB pointing at Strix. "You and your friend, StarfireK, were the ones you sent Robin flying in a catapult and made Cyborg get chased by quigs!"

"Your point is?" said Strix.

Beast Boy opened his mouth to speak but closed it again trying to think of a answer for that question. He tried to think of an answer for Strix's question but ended up just shrugging his shoulders. "Just saying…"

"Good! Now if you're done rambling like Robin let's start the interview." Said Strix. Wavemaker jumped into StarK chair and Strix jumped to her desk. Keyblade put a lawn chair out in the audience and ate a taco. Beast Boy squirmed uncomfortably in the guest chair. The interview had begun!

At Teen Titan Tower….

"Hey! Friends look! Friend Beast Boy is on the box of vision!" cried Starfire pointing at the TV where Jump City Talk was airing.

"AAUUURRGGHHH! He's on that show!" cried Robin screaming like a little girl.

"He is!" shouted both Raven and Cyborg. They looked at eachother and smirked. "I'll tape it. You get the snacks." Said Raven. "Gotya!"cried Cyborg running for the kitchen.

At the Show…..

"Okay! Let's get this party started!" shouted WM. Strix and BB looked at her strangely.

"Uhhh…sorry. New at this!" said WM.

"That's okay! Now Beast Boy…." Started Strix. She and WM stared evilly at Beast Boy. Beast Boy gulped and sunk deeper into his chair.

WM jumped in front his face and screamed, "Okay! Listen here animal boy! Spit it out! Once and for all…who do you like more! Raven or Terra!"

"What the…! Where did that come from!" screamed Beast Boy.

Titans Tower….

Raven was drinking some herbal tea while watching Beast Boy get interviewed on the TV. Cyborg and Starfire were next to her watching too. Robin was still unconscious.

"Okay! Listen here animal boy! Spit it out! Once and for all…who do you like more! Raven or Terra! Screamed WM on the television.

Raven choked on her tea. "What the heck! You little…!"

Back on the Show…..

"Listen…you don't have to answer that question now!" said Strix patting Beast Boy on the head.

"Thank goodness…" sighed BB.

"You can answer it later!" said WM smiling. Beast Boy whimpered. WM thought of another question to ask. "Sooooo…are you a naturally green or did you fall in a pickle jar?"

"What kind of question is that!" said Beast Boy fuming.

"We're just curious! I mean come on! People today will do anything for fashion!" commented Strix. "They dye their hair purple, red, green,…this one man dyed himself blue."

"I think that was for a movie. Hey you know Strix…you don't usually see that many heroes that are green. In fact I think Beast Boy is the only one!" cried WM.

Strix's eyes widened. "OMG! You're right! Beast Boy is the only one! Most of the people who are green are villains!" Strix and WM inched their chairs from Beast Boy.

Beast Boy looked at the people of the audience who were glaring at him. He started to sweat nervously. "Dude! That's not true! I...I…I know a lot of heroes who are green!"

"Oh yeah! Name them!" shouted WM glaring at him.

"Okay….uhhhhhh….er…let's see…uhh…me! Yeah! I'm a hero!" Beast Boy smiled triumphly.

"Other than you idiot!" retorted Strix.

Beast Boy shut his eyes really tight and tried to think of something. Steam started to float from his ears.

"If his brain explodes I'm not cleaning it up!" whispered WM to Strix.

At Tower…

Cyborg had now invited the Titans East over and they were watching Beast Boy try and think of a green hero in the living room.

"Hey I know! Shrek is green!" shouted Speedy. Aqualad threw popcorn at him. "Shrek isn't a super hero dimwit!"

"He's going to blow! I know it! He can't take the pressure." Shouted Robin who was now awake.

"Shhhhh! I don't want to miss friend Beast Boy's answer!" shouted Starfire jumping up and down with excitement.

"I'm calling rest of the titans for this!" shouted Cyborg running to the phone.

Back at the Show…..

Suddenly a light bulb appeared on top of Beast Boy's head. "I know!" Then Strix ran up to him and grabbed the light bulb.

"Thanks Beast Boy! I needed this!" Strix then turns into a spotted owl and flies to the ceiling where she changes the stage light that had been broken on the last episode. She then flies back down and changes back to human.

Beast Boy looked confused for a moment at what had just happened but shook his head and continued. "The Hulk! He's green! Ha! Beat that!"

"Ohhhhhhhh…pl-ease!" shouted both Strix and WM. "The Hulk is more of villain than the villains he fights!" shouted WM. "Look at all the property damage he does!"

"And his movie SUCKED! Stupid Marvel…thinks it can make better heroes than DC!" muttered Strix.

Beast Boy glared angrily at them. "Oh yeah! Then tell me…how many so called villains are green?" The two answered immediately.

Strix: Shego.

WM: Green Goblin.

Keyblader: Mojo Jojo.

Sabre: The green blob Starfire almost married.

StarK: Broccoli! It killed sugar!

"Uhhhhh….So there's not a lot heroes who are green! So sue me! I'm only green because I have a disease!" cried Beast Boy angrily.

"YOU HAVE A DISEASE! AAARGGGHH!" screamed Strix and WM jumping ten feet away from Beast boy. People in the front seats moved to the back of the studio.

Beast Boy waved his hands in the air trying to calm them down. "No wait! It isn't like the flu or anything! You can't get it by getting near people!" Strix and WM, who had been hiding underneath Strix's desk, came out.

"You mean it's not like the flu?" asked Strix.

"Don't you get the flu from kissing people or something?" asked WM.

"No you don't! You get AIDS from kissing people!" replied Strix.

"No you don't! You get AIDS from blood transfusions!" retorted WM.

"I thought you got chicken pox from that?"

"No get chicken pox when you get bit by a chicken!"

"I thought that was rabies!"

"No! You get rabies from babies!"

"I thought babies gave you cooties?"

"No boys give you cooties! Duh!"

"Hello! I'm still here!" shouted Beast Boy waving his hands to get their attention. The two stopped their arguing and stared at Beast Boy. Suddenly at the same time they yelled, "AAAUUUURRRGGHHH! He's a boy! Cooties!"

Beast Boy backed away from them. "No wait! Don't…AAAUURRGGGHH!" screamed Beast Boy has the two girls used their water powers to blast him with a powerful jet of water. It sent him flying into the wall. He sat up soaked. He squirted out some water like a fountain.

"Yay!" screamed the two girls high-fiving eachother. "Now lets cleanse him by taking him a bath!"

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Beast Boy as the two girls dragged him away by his feet. SabreJustice walked up to the screen and said, "Uhhhh…let's go to a commercial."

The screen shows a dark room. Suddenly a single light comes on and shows the Brain.

Brain: Greetings young generation of future civilians. You all are probably saying to yourself… "Boy do I wish my garden was as beautiful as the Brain's" right?

Screen show's the Brains garden which is filled with dangerous and toxic plants and is also filled with frozen figures of super heroes (watch Titans Together)

Brain: Well now you can have a garden like my…filled with lovely captured titans…I mean….ice sculptures. All you need to do is call the phone number and tell us which titans you wish for us to capture…I mean figure you want us to sculpt. Just call 1-800-EVIL and you will get you frozen titan…uh…sculpture in a week. Call now…or be destroyed! Muewaaahahhaahha! I mean….good day.

Back to the Show…..

Strix, WM, and Beast Boy are all back and ready. Beast Boy is looking miserable beyond belief. He is squeaky clean and his hair is combed and suitable. And worst yet….he smelled….CLEAN! No tofu smell! The horror!

"Why don't you two just save the villains the time and kill me now! I'm as good as dead anyway!" cried Beast Boy miserably.

Strix patted his head. "Don't worry! You'll thank us one day!"

"Yeah! I mean it won't take long to get you're tofu smell back!" replied WM happily.

"You're both crazy….you know that right?" said Beast Boy glaring.

"Don't worry…you'll be like us soon! Muewahahahaha!" laughed Strix. Beast Boy started to eye the exit in hopes of escaping. But there were no hopes of escaping!

"Sooooo…what do we do now Strix?" asked WM. Strix's got this really scary and happy look on her face that made both Beast Boy and WM tremble.

"It is time for the DARE OF THE DAY! Muewaaahahahahhah! I have the caller…or should I say…callers…for the dare of day on the phone! Callers you're on the air!" The callers voices's filled the air.

"HI WAVEMAKER! REMEMBER US!" Screamed the two callers.

WM's eyes widened in fear. "Mirage!TitanQueen! What are you doing here?"

"I think you know why we're here WM!" said TQ.

"This is revenge for making us marry Robin and Slade in our story!" shouted Mirage.

"Strix! For the Dare of the Day me and Mirage dare Beast Boy and Wavemaker to get married!" shouted TQ.

"Noooooooo! Anything but that! I'm a BB/Rae shipper! I'll be like Terra then! Nooooo! Strix! Do something!" cried WM.

Beast Boy stood still with shock. Then he let out one of his famous girly screams and fell to his knees in front of Strix. "NNNNOOOOOOOOO! I beg you! I'm too young to get married!"

WM did the same thing. "I'm too beautiful and smart to be married to him!"

Strix thought for a second. "Sorry guys! But I have to do what the callers want! And they want you two to get married!" Strix then claps her hands and Mirage and TQ appear from behind a curtain.

"Finally! Revenge! Muewahahahahaha!" cried the two of them holding a flashlight to their face, laughing like maniacs.

"Get these two ready for their wedding!" shouted Strix as Sabre and Timberfox drag the two wailing teenagers to their dressing rooms.

"Looks like I will need a maid of honor and some bride's maids!" cried Strix and in a flash she whipped out her laptop and started typing. Suddenly StarK, Starfire, Mirage, TQ, Flies with Raven, and Timberfox were all dressed up in dresses. StarK(who was still sugar high) was to be the maid of honor and the rest were bride's maids. Then for the best man Strix got Cyborg, and for the groom's men she got Keyblade, Sabre, Robin, and Aqualad.

"Okay! Who's ready for a wedding!" cried Strix, who was going to be the one to wed them. Everyone took there seats and Cyborg and StarK dragged Beast Boy and WM out. Both were dressed and tied to a Mad Mod chair so they couldn't use their powers. They were also gagged.

Strix started the wedding. "Friends, fans….we gather at this talk show studio to bond this two lovebird in a forced marriage. Is there anyone in here that has any reason that this two shouldn't be hitched?

"Mmmm….mmmm..mmm!" mumbled both WM and Beast Boy.

"No? Speak now or if you do speak have me send owls to rip your tongue out!" growled Strix glaring at the audience. The Titans, who were there, were going to speak but quickly shut their trap. "Okay….then. Beast Boy….do you take this fanfiction authoress to be your wife?"

"MMMMMM! MMM!" shouted Beast Boy shaking is head back and forth. "You do? Good!" said Strix ignoring Beast Boy's shaking head.

"Now WM….do you take this shape-shifter to be your husband?" asked Strix to WM. "MMMMMM! MM! MM! MM!" shouted WM, her eyes wide with fear. "You do! Good! Now by the power in me as a fanfiction writer I pronounce you husband and wife! But it is official til they kiss! So may the newlyweds kiss so we can go home!"

At the Tower….

So for about every titan member was watching the show in the Titan's living room…and were bursting out laughing!

"Hahahahaha! This show is hilarious!" laughed Kid Flash.

"I can't wait to see them at their honeymoon!" laughed Speedy. "Right Raven….uh…Raven?"

The Titans looked around but for some reason couldn't find Raven. So they went back to watching Beast Boy suffer.

At the Show….

Beast Boy's and WM's eyes grew wide with terror as Milage and TQ leaned their chairs closer to eachother's mouths to make them kiss…and bond them forever as husband and wife!

They were getting closer and closer….then they were about a inch of kissing eachother when…BLAM! Everyone turned to see a very VERY angry Raven burst through the wall, hands glowing.

"Nobody marries that shape-shifter but me!" Roared Raven flying toward WM. WM eyes grew wide with fear and she started to hop away from Raven on her chair. Suddenly as Raven was fixing to blast WM to pieces a miracle happened.

"WELCOME TO THE SUGAR AND COFFEE SHOW!" Everyone turned to see a very sugar high StarK up on the stage with a jug of coffee and a bag of sugar in her hands.

StarK jumps down and rips the gag off Beast Boy. "Here! Have some…SUGAR AND COFFEE!" And with that she stuffed both the sugar and the coffee down Beast Boy's throat. Suddenly Beast Boy's eyes went real big, then real small, then really big again and glazed over. Then with the power of the sugar rush he broke from the Mad Mod chair and he and StarK started bouncing off the walls.

"HEYILIKESUGARANDCOFFEE!SUGARGOOD!NEEDMORE! Muewaahahahhahaha!" screamed Beast Boy and StarK as they bounced out the studio.

"Well….that's all the time we have for now! Till the next episode! Bye! Shouted Strix as she ran to capture StarK and Beast Boy.

Strix: Just watched Things Change...THAT WAS THE CRAPPIEST EPISODE EVER! THERE MUST A SEASON SIX! Writers...please...help write letters to Cartoonnet work! Do not let the series end like this! Oh well...even if this is the last episode I know TT will live on. As long as there are shippers, fans, crazy writers, forums, and fanfiction I know Teen Titans will live on! Are when you are eighteen you can work for the DC shows and make a new Teen Titans! Just a thought. Please review!