1001 Relena Deathfics
21-30: Death by Retro Kidsie's TV Show.
Number 21: Death by Giant Evil Wok Monster.
"This is Button Moon" said the entertaining narrator voice. "ah, here comes the spaceship made out of a Hienz baked beans tin. And here's the spoon family. Hello, Mr. Spoon. Hello, Mrs. Spoon. Hello, Tina Teaspoon. I wonder what we'll see on Button Moon today. Oh, look! It's a girl in pink clothes. Tina Teaspoon doesn't know why the silly girl wears pink. Look out! It's the evil Wok Monster, flying through Blanket Sky! Don't worry, Mr. Spoon. Don't worry, Mrs. Spoon. Don't worry, Tina Teaspoon. The Wok Monster doesn't want to hurt you. He's just here for the bitch in the pink skirt. Oh, look! The Wok Monster has knocked the pink girl off Button Moon! Oh, well. Goodbye, Mr. Spoon. Goodbye, Mrs. Spoon. Goodbye, Tina Teaspoon.
Number 22: Death by Irate Man in a Bear Suit.
" Hello, boys and girls" said Geoffrey. "You're just in time. Bungle's tower of blocks is 5 blocks high! that's nearly as high as George's. I just hope Zippy doesn't knock it down again. If he does, our new friend Relena won't be able to see it." Right on cue, just as he said this, Zippy the orange thing with a zipper for a gob showed up, knocking Bungle the Bear's tower down. "That's it!" Bungle yelled. "I'm fed up and cross, and i'm not playing any more!" Then, in the blink of an eye, He turned and began to maul Relena 22. "Now, Bungle" said Geoffrey. "It's not nice to hurt our friend."
"Oh, please can't I kill her, Geoffrey? All that pink is hurting my eyes!"
" Oh, alright, Bungle. And then we'll all go and read a story."
Number 23: Death by Flying Rabbit.
One day, while visiting Coockooland, Relena 23 was shocked to see a huge rabbit fly overhead. It was Bully Bundy, the Showbusiness rabbit, who had gained the power of flight after he was zapped by Jamie's magic torch. Seeing her, the rabbit was overcome with excitement.
"Alright, Bully Von Richtoven, dive, dive, dive!" The rabbit dived-bombed her, but as he swooped down, Jamie and his talking dog Wordsworth turned up and zapped Bully Bundy with the magic torch. Having lost his powers, Bully Bundy fell like a brick, squishing Relena under his considerable bulk just as Officer Gotcha appeared.
"That's right upset me, that 'as! I shall 'ave to take a truncheon for me nerves! he exclaimed, eating his truncheon and pulling another from under his hat.
Number 24: Death by Senile Vampire Hunter.
On his neverending search for Count Duckula, the legendary vampire hunter, Van Ducksing, was unfortunate enough to meet Relena 24. Mistaking her for a foul, loathsome minion of evil (well, it's an easily made mistake) he shot her through the heart with a stake.
Number 25: Death by Villainous Toad.
The villainous toad, Baron Greenback, laughed wheezily as he waxed poetic about his latest plan to deal with that pesky rodent, Dangermouse, and his short dumpy sidekick, Penfold, while the Baron's own henchbird, Stilletto, listend amicably. "Now go and put my brilliant plan into action" the overgrown amphibian wheezed, realising he'd have to stop smoking eventualy if he wanted to get rid of his gallopping lung rot.
"Si, Baroni!" the crow replied, flying off out the window.Greenback's brilliant plan to simply shoot Dangermouse backfired, however, when a girl in pink walked into Stilletto's line of fire, and was rewarded with a hail of machine gun bullets.
Number 26: Death by Screechy Voiced Dinosaur.
When walking through the Mushroom kingdom, Relena 26 was subjected to the terror of Yoshi's voice, and her head exploded as Yoshi hit that special note while trying to sing "I Feel Love."
Number 27: Death by Eco-villain.
while giving a speech about how important the enviroment was, Relena 27 was abducted by a bright light and transported to a mystical island where she met five Planeteers, and Gaia, the spirit of the earth. Gaia, y'see, liked Relena's policy on pollution, so she made relena a planeteer, with the power of plant. However, when it comes down to it, making plants grow won't exactly stop a super-villain, will it? And so, when Relena tried to take Hoggish Greedly, Sly Sludge, Looten Plunder, Dr. Blight, Duke Nukem AND Verminous Skumm on alone, she was swiftly killed.
Number 28: Death by Worst Catchphrase Ever.
After overcoming all obstacles, rescuing the trapped fairie's and even defeating Ganon, Poor, unlucky Relena 28 was forced to commit suicide after hearing brown-haired Link's cry of "Well excuuuuuuuuse me, princess." Let's face it, you'd do the same if you were in her position.
Number 29: Death by Posessed Toy.
Relena 29 got a massive wooden stick through her eye after Pinocchio told the biggest lie of all: "Relena, I like you."
Number 30: Death by Giant Rat-Human Hybrid.
When she accidently stumbled into the lair of the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, the last thing Relena 30 expected was to be decapitated by four human/turtle hybrids and their sensei, a giant rat called Splinter.
Next chapter: Death by Knightmare.
21-30: Death by Retro Kidsie's TV Show.
Number 21: Death by Giant Evil Wok Monster.
"This is Button Moon" said the entertaining narrator voice. "ah, here comes the spaceship made out of a Hienz baked beans tin. And here's the spoon family. Hello, Mr. Spoon. Hello, Mrs. Spoon. Hello, Tina Teaspoon. I wonder what we'll see on Button Moon today. Oh, look! It's a girl in pink clothes. Tina Teaspoon doesn't know why the silly girl wears pink. Look out! It's the evil Wok Monster, flying through Blanket Sky! Don't worry, Mr. Spoon. Don't worry, Mrs. Spoon. Don't worry, Tina Teaspoon. The Wok Monster doesn't want to hurt you. He's just here for the bitch in the pink skirt. Oh, look! The Wok Monster has knocked the pink girl off Button Moon! Oh, well. Goodbye, Mr. Spoon. Goodbye, Mrs. Spoon. Goodbye, Tina Teaspoon.
Number 22: Death by Irate Man in a Bear Suit.
" Hello, boys and girls" said Geoffrey. "You're just in time. Bungle's tower of blocks is 5 blocks high! that's nearly as high as George's. I just hope Zippy doesn't knock it down again. If he does, our new friend Relena won't be able to see it." Right on cue, just as he said this, Zippy the orange thing with a zipper for a gob showed up, knocking Bungle the Bear's tower down. "That's it!" Bungle yelled. "I'm fed up and cross, and i'm not playing any more!" Then, in the blink of an eye, He turned and began to maul Relena 22. "Now, Bungle" said Geoffrey. "It's not nice to hurt our friend."
"Oh, please can't I kill her, Geoffrey? All that pink is hurting my eyes!"
" Oh, alright, Bungle. And then we'll all go and read a story."
Number 23: Death by Flying Rabbit.
One day, while visiting Coockooland, Relena 23 was shocked to see a huge rabbit fly overhead. It was Bully Bundy, the Showbusiness rabbit, who had gained the power of flight after he was zapped by Jamie's magic torch. Seeing her, the rabbit was overcome with excitement.
"Alright, Bully Von Richtoven, dive, dive, dive!" The rabbit dived-bombed her, but as he swooped down, Jamie and his talking dog Wordsworth turned up and zapped Bully Bundy with the magic torch. Having lost his powers, Bully Bundy fell like a brick, squishing Relena under his considerable bulk just as Officer Gotcha appeared.
"That's right upset me, that 'as! I shall 'ave to take a truncheon for me nerves! he exclaimed, eating his truncheon and pulling another from under his hat.
Number 24: Death by Senile Vampire Hunter.
On his neverending search for Count Duckula, the legendary vampire hunter, Van Ducksing, was unfortunate enough to meet Relena 24. Mistaking her for a foul, loathsome minion of evil (well, it's an easily made mistake) he shot her through the heart with a stake.
Number 25: Death by Villainous Toad.
The villainous toad, Baron Greenback, laughed wheezily as he waxed poetic about his latest plan to deal with that pesky rodent, Dangermouse, and his short dumpy sidekick, Penfold, while the Baron's own henchbird, Stilletto, listend amicably. "Now go and put my brilliant plan into action" the overgrown amphibian wheezed, realising he'd have to stop smoking eventualy if he wanted to get rid of his gallopping lung rot.
"Si, Baroni!" the crow replied, flying off out the window.Greenback's brilliant plan to simply shoot Dangermouse backfired, however, when a girl in pink walked into Stilletto's line of fire, and was rewarded with a hail of machine gun bullets.
Number 26: Death by Screechy Voiced Dinosaur.
When walking through the Mushroom kingdom, Relena 26 was subjected to the terror of Yoshi's voice, and her head exploded as Yoshi hit that special note while trying to sing "I Feel Love."
Number 27: Death by Eco-villain.
while giving a speech about how important the enviroment was, Relena 27 was abducted by a bright light and transported to a mystical island where she met five Planeteers, and Gaia, the spirit of the earth. Gaia, y'see, liked Relena's policy on pollution, so she made relena a planeteer, with the power of plant. However, when it comes down to it, making plants grow won't exactly stop a super-villain, will it? And so, when Relena tried to take Hoggish Greedly, Sly Sludge, Looten Plunder, Dr. Blight, Duke Nukem AND Verminous Skumm on alone, she was swiftly killed.
Number 28: Death by Worst Catchphrase Ever.
After overcoming all obstacles, rescuing the trapped fairie's and even defeating Ganon, Poor, unlucky Relena 28 was forced to commit suicide after hearing brown-haired Link's cry of "Well excuuuuuuuuse me, princess." Let's face it, you'd do the same if you were in her position.
Number 29: Death by Posessed Toy.
Relena 29 got a massive wooden stick through her eye after Pinocchio told the biggest lie of all: "Relena, I like you."
Number 30: Death by Giant Rat-Human Hybrid.
When she accidently stumbled into the lair of the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, the last thing Relena 30 expected was to be decapitated by four human/turtle hybrids and their sensei, a giant rat called Splinter.
Next chapter: Death by Knightmare.