Devil May Cry: Scarlet Bullets
Chapter three: Mr. Mummy
Enzo drove Dante to an abandoned building where they could hear the demonic roars from the outside.
"Time to get to work!" Dante grinned and pulled out Ebony and Ivory.
"Try not to wreck the building." Enzo panicked.
"Don't be such a buzzkill!" Dante jumped up in the air and crashed into the window, once he got in, he saw about twenty skeletal scythe wielding demons. "The exterminator's here!"
The demons started to gang up on Dante and they slashed at him.
"Sucks to be you guys!" Dante smirked and he fired Ebony and Ivory through the heads of four of the demons. "You caught me on a stressful week!"
The demons charged at Dante once more, this time they attacked him from all directions.
"The more the merrier!" Dante kicked down one of the demons and jumped on it like it was a surfboard. "Surfs up, you bony pricks!" He surfed on the grounded demon and shot at the rest of the demons.
Just when Dante thought he was done, a portal appeared and about ten more demons appeared, this time wearing red and fur coated garb.
"That's worst pimp getup I've ever seen!" Dante gave the demons a cocky smile. "Whatever…at least you got dressed for this crazy party!" Dante returned Ebony and Ivory to their holsters and he took out Rebellion. "Nice dance you got going on, mind if I cut in?" Dante waved Rebellion.
The demons jumped up into the air and they waved their scythes as they charged at Dante.
"Compared to what I go through." Dante remembered an angry Aria and a jealous Shirayuki. "You guys are smalltime!" He jumped into the air and performed "Round Tip" throwing Rebellion like a boomerang, slashing at several demons, before landing on the ground; he assaulted some of the demons with a barrage of punches and kicks. "The end?" He smirked as the demons turned into sand.
A larger demon, dressed in a cloak made of shadows, wielding a large scythe with a glowing blue blade appeared before him.
"Don't bet on it!" Dante caught Rebellion and pointed it at the demon. "You must be my therapist." He gave it a cocky smile. "Time to vent my frustrations on you!"
The demon let out a ghostly wail and it warped behind Dante and slashed at him with its scythe, cutting Dante's blazer in half.
"Dammit! Now I need a new coat!" Dante was annoyed. "Bulletproof my ass!" He took off what remained of his blazer and threw it aside. "You're going down, you hear me! Grim Rip-off!"
The demon ignored Dante and it warped around the room to confuse him.
"Aren't you a little old for a game of tag?" Dante smirked and he took out Ivory.
The demon warped around the room, waving its scythe and slashing at Dante.
"Tag, you're it." Dante smirked as he shot the demon between the eyes.
"Not bad, you've killed all the demons I've summoned." Gilver, who was watching from the distance, said as Dante finished off the demon, "Looks like you'll be a worthy opponent after all."
Enzo was waiting outside the building when he saw a now coatless Dante walk out.
"What took you so long!" Enzo called out to Dante.
"A party then a game of tag with my therapist, the Grim Rip-off." Dante laughed as he took a seat in the car.
"Where to?" Enzo asked. "Want me to drive you home?"
"Screw that." Dante deadpanned. "I have a bad feeling about that place now." He remembered all his unanswered text messages.
"Well, the hotel's not exactly safe either." Enzo shuddered as he remembered Aria's outburst.
"Drive me to the nearest diner." Dante smiled. "All that partying made me hungry."
"You got it!" Enzo drove. "How are you gonna spend the rest of your day?"
"Well." Dante smirked. "First I'm gonna have my phone exorcised, then I'll look for something to do until two in the morning." As Enzo was driving, Dante spotted a red leather trench coat for sale on a shop window. "Enzo! I just have to get that coat!"
"That thing?" Enzo gave Dante a confused look. "Whatever floats your boat." He drove to the shop.
Unknown to Dante and Enzo, Aria and Reki were tailing them.
"No one's ever gotten away from me!" Aria glared angrily.
"Tony Redgrave, huh?" Reki said in her usual calm tone. "I heard at sixteen, he's already known as one of the world's top freelancers."
"Yes!" Aria said. "His specialty is supernatural cases." She blushed angrily. "The perfect person to be my partner!"
Dante and Enzo entered the shop.
"How may I help you?" The shopkeeper greeted them.
"I'd like to buy that coat over there!" Dante pointed at the red leather trench coat on display.
"Ah, that thing?" The shopkeeper smiled. "I was going to throw it out, but I'll give you a bargain."
"How much?" Dante asked excitedly. "That badass coat really fits my style!"
"About twenty thousand yen." The shopkeeper smiled.
"Sold!" Dante put the coat on the counter.
"Enjoy your coat sir." The shopkeeper said as Dante paid him.
"Alright!" Dante tossed the coat up unto the air and he moved his arms into the sleeves and he looked at the mirror." Stylin'!" He gave his reflection a cocky smile.
"You look ridiculous!" Enzo laughed. "Nice coat and hair, teenaged Santa Claus!"
"Yeah?" Dante was annoyed. "Beats your street urchin getup, what are you supposed to be? Oliver Twist the later years?" He smirked. "With your size, looks like you got some more porridge!"
"Now that's just mean!" Enzo was annoyed at Dante's insult.
After getting their barbs in, Dante and Enzo both burst into laughter.
"So anyway." Dante laughed. "Know any good diners?"
"There's a place called Eric's downtown!" Enzo laughed and patted Dante's back. "Let's go!"
Just as Dante and Enzo drove there, Gilver was already seated alone at a booth in Eric's.
"The food here looks…boring." Gilver sighed; the rather plain and uninspired menu didn't really catch his attention.
"This place look's pretty good!' Dante smiled. "Leave it to a fat guy to find great food!"
"I'll let that slide!" Enzo smiled. "Let's order." He sat down.
"I'll have the strawberry sundae and a large sized pizza." Dante ordered from a waitress. "Every topping ya got, just no olives." He smirked. "And make it quick babe!"
"R-Right away sir!" The waitress blushed and walked to the counter.
"And I'll have a beer and two burgers!" Enzo yelled out.
"Dante's here…" Gilver stood up and walked towards Dante and Enzo's table.
"Get a load of this guy!" Dante gave Enzo a cocky smile as Gilver approached them. "Need anything, Mr. Mummy?"
"Tony Redgrave…" Gilver unsheathed his O-Katana and sliced the table in half. "I challenge you."
"Th-this guy looks serious!" Enzo cowered under another table.
"Looks like a certain mummy wants to be sent crying back to his pyramid." Dante gave Gilver a cocky smile as he stood up. "Get ready, cause I'm gonna choke you with your own bandages!"
"My name is Gilver." He spoke with the tone of a refined gentleman. "Show me your strength."
"Clear the middle of the diner." The owner of the diner , a middle aged man dressed in a bartender's uniform, wearing some kind of blindfold over his eyes ordered the waitress.
"Right away, Mr. Eric!" The waitress cleared the middle of the diner to give Dante and Gilver space to fight.
"This happens all the time." Eric sighed. "Butei, gangsters and mercenaries picking fights in my diner."
"Let's make this quick!" Dante took out Rebellion. "I have a pizza and a sundae coming."
"Don't disappoint me." Gilver entered an Iado stance and he gripped the handle of his O-Katana.
"Let's rock!" Dante's feet glided across the ground as he performed "Stinger" lunging Rebellion straight at Gilver.
"You shall die." Gilver dodged Dante's attack and he quickly unsheathed his O-Katana and slashed at him.
Dante moved to the side quickly to avoid Gilver's slash and he responded with his own.
Gilver parried Dante's Rebelion with his O-Katana, the friction between the two blades created several sparks, warped behind him and struck him with his O-Katana's scabbard.
"Looks like you've got some tricks up your sleeve!" Dante smirked as he recovered. "Let's get this show on the road!" He swung Rebellion at a high speed and performed "Dance Macabre" attacking Gilver with a barrage of slashes.
"You're not so bad yourself." Gilver carefully parried every one of Dante's slashes. "But this ends now." He sheathed his O-Katana and a purple aura started to emanate from it, he performed "Judgment Cut" sending a barrage of dark powered slashes that cut through the fabric of space.
"This party's getting' crazy!" Dante gave Gilver a battle crazed smirk and he revers gripped Rebellion, charging it with red demonic energy, he performed "Drive" sending three explosive slash waves at him.
When the force of Dante and Gilver's attacks collided, the resulting burst of energy blew all the chairs and tables away and it shattered the windows.
"Guess this doesn't cut it!" Dante placed Rebellion on his back and he took out Ebony and Ivory. "Time for a good old fashioned shooting match."
"A true warrior would reject such methods." Gilver sheathed his O-Katana and pulled out his double-barreled shotgun. "But this is a special case!"
"They're gonna burn down the whole diner!" Enzo panicked under his table.
"Settle down guys, I can tell you're evenly matched." Eric stood between Dante and Gilver. "There's a way to settle this without wrecking my diner and a way to pay off all the damages."
"He's gotta be joking!" Enzo said in a doubtful tone.
"Sounds cool!" Dante said, still pointing Ebony and Ivory at Gilver.
"Fine..." Gilver was still pointing his shotgun at Dante. "What is it?"
"An eating contest!" Eric smiled and took out a coin. "Winner of this coin toss gets to pick the food, call your side."
"Tails!" Dante grinned. "Getting head is great and all, but who doesn't chase after tail?"
"Heads..." Gilver said.
"Alright then!" Eric flipped the coin and it landed on the counter. "It's tails."
"Hell yeah!" Dante stood up in excitement. "I pick strawberry sundaes!"
"Damn…" Gilver thought to himself. "I can't stand sweet things…"
"Poor bandages is screwed." Enzo smiled.
"Good choice son" Eric smiled. "Time to prepare them!" Eric prepared two large strawberry sundaes. "The loser pays for the food and the damages."
"There's no way I could lose something like this!" Dante smirked at Gilver. "Thanks for the free sundaes."
"Don't get so cocky." Gilver pulled down part of his bandages to show his mouth.
"Ready?" Eric and the waitress placed about thirty strawberry sundaes on the counter. "Go!"
"Get ready to buy my dessert!" Dante grabbed a sundae and started eating it really fast. "Hit me with another one!" He smiled as he finished it quickly.
"Disgusting…" Gilver picked up his spoon and scooped up the sundae and put it in his mouth, the overpowering sweetness made him want to throw up, but for the sake of the game, he hid the fact. "Done." He said as he finished his sundae.
"What took you so long?" Dante smirked at Gilver, ten empty glasses were stacked up behind him.
"Challenging my gluttonous twin brother to an eating contest…" Gilver thought to himself as he took another sundae. "Not a wise move on my part." He grimaced as he took another bite. "How can anyone eat so much of this garbage?" As he finished, he reached for another one but there was none left.
"I win, Mr. Mummy!" Dante gave Gilver a cocky smile. "Now pay up!"
"Fine…" Gilver wrote Eric a sizable check to cover the damages and the food. "What the!?" He gagged. "I can't stand sweet things!" He ran into the bathroom to throw up.
"Nobody beats Tony Redgrave at a strawberry sundae eating contest!" Dante laughed as Gilver ran to the restroom.
"Nice one, kid!" Eric smiled. "You have good fighting skills and an iron stomach."
"What can I say?" Dante smirked. "When I love what I'm doing, I go all out!"
"Looking forward to seeing you around in my diner." Eric smiled as he wiped a glass clean.
"Your strawberry sundaes are definitely a keeper!" Dante smiled.
"Here." Eric placed a hot pizza over the table. "It's on the house, to celebrate my new patron." He smiled.
"Thanks buddy!" Dante took a slice.
"That was intense!" Enzo smiled. "But don't do scary shit like that again when I'm around!" He was annoyed.
"Get used to it!" Dante gave Enzo a cocky smile as he took a bite of his pizza.
"I have to get some sleep…" Gilver walked out of the diner.
"Can I stay here till two?" Dante asked. "I want to get back home when everyone's asleep."
"This is joint's always open." Eric smiled. "Got some home problems?"
"Let's just say between a clingy childhood friend and an angry stalker, I'm starring in the gritty reboot of Three's Company." Dante sighed.
"He's not kidding!" Enzo said. "That Aria chick almost destroyed my hotel room!"
"Aria, huh?" Eric said. "You must be her new Watson."
"I really wish people would stop calling me that." Dante was getting annoyed.
"You know she's crazy about you." Eric said as he cleaned more glasses. "The few times she's been here, she's always told me that she wants you to pay more attention to her."
"I always thought she was just plain crazy." Dante deadpanned. "But yeah… her crush is as obvious as her forehead."
"She's a little snobby and hotheaded, but she's a good kid." Eric smiled. "Don't play with her feelings."
"Relationships aren't my thing." Dante took another slice of pizza. "I'd take a ton of bullets and stab wounds before I deal with that crappy drama." He took a bite.
"I'm going ahead." Enzo yawned. "Night Dante!" He left the diner.
"See ya Chef Boyardee! " Dante smirked at Enzo.
"I hear you kid." Eric said. "But Aria's not the kind of girl who gives up." He smiled. "You'll be dating her in no time!"
"Doubt it." Dante deadpanned. "I'm into the blonde and busty type."
"Once you're in her sights." Eric laughed. "Any hope of escaping is crushed."
Dante and Eric talked until two in the morning and Dante left the diner and headed to his dorm room.
"Home sweet home." Dante opened the door to his room and turned on the lights.
"Where the hell were you!?" An angry Aria glared at Dante.
"How the hell did you get here?!" Dante was annoyed.
"I had a spare key made!" Aria yelled at Dante. "You're my slave, you can't be sneaking around behind my back!"
"Look, all I did was buy a coat and a few sundaes." Dante shrugged. "Quit acting like a suspicious wife!"
"R-r-relationships are pointless!" The word wife made Aria blush uncontrollably, especially since it was Dante that said it.
"I agree." Dante gave Aria a cocky smile. "But I wouldn't mind a little fling with Riko." He joked.
"You can't!" Aria pointed her handguns at Dante. "You're mine and mine alone!" She was very angry and jealous. "I'll blow holes through you if you even think about other girls!"
"Open up!' Shirayuki banged on the door; her killer aura seeped through the gaps. "You haven't answered any of my text messages!"
"Oh crap!" Dante checked his inbox and saw that he had well over 75 unread messages from Shirayuki.
"I'm going in!" Shirayuki's eyes grew dull with a murderous and jealous expression. "Are you really living with another girl?!" She cut through the door with her katana.
"I can explain all this!' Dante panicked. "I'm being stalked!"
"Stalked!?" Aria was very angry. "It's because you k-k-kissed me!" Aria blushed red.
"You kissed her?!" Shirayuki's dark and murderous aura spread throughout the entire room. "All cheaters must be punished!" She charged at Dante and Aria.
"Dark and gritty three's company alright!" Dante was frightened by Shirayuki's jealous rage.
Back at the IU secret base, Gilver returned in a disoriented and sickened state.
"Back already?" Jeanne asked curiously.
"Tony Redgrave is a formidable adversary indeed." Gilver remembered his fight and the sundae-eating contest.
"He must be if he gave you trouble." Jeanne commented. "Shall I assist you next time?"
"No." Gilver said in a serious tone. "This is my fight… I will win this no matter what."
"I have business with Tony as well." Jeanne objected. "I was told that he knows something about Vergil's killer…" Her expression darkened. "I'll defeat him… and I'll avenge the one I loved most."
"Love? How weak." Gilver thought to himself. "Might controls everything." He said to Jeanne. "Don't let your emotions distract you."
"How would you know?" Jeanne was getting irritated. "You've don't know what it's like...to lose someone you love."
"I've lost everything I've ever loved…" Gilver replied coldly. "Forgive me… Jeanne." He thought to himself.
Author's note: Dante fights some demons and he has a sparring match with Gilver, which ends on a hilarious note! Aria is as scary and Tsundere as ever and Dante has some explaining to do to Shirayuki! I used the DMC Novel for Dante and Gilver's fight and now he has his trademark coat! Next Chapter, we get a little info on Jeanne and Vergil's past! Oh, and I was thinking of giving Reki feelings for Vergil/Gilver instead of Dante.
Now to answer my reviewers,
RaptorFang5
Thanks! I'll try to keep them in character and I'll do my best!
Guest again
Don't worry! All this is still an opening act. Glad you liked it!
I got it from the DMC Novel
Riko's hostility with Aria was over Dante, nothing else at the moment
Safer Alexander
Thanks! I hope you liked the events in this chapter!
Tonyredgrave1999
Thanks! I'll inject as much of Dante's sense of humor as I can!
Sonicsucks12
Spidey will appear in a later story arc, don't worry, he'll get there!