Chapter Six: Despair

Vanitas counted himself lucky. Ever since Aqua had come into his life, Xehanort had been letting up. He rarely saw the old man anymore. But when he did, it was horrible.

"Vanitas… you can't escape me…"

Vanitas turned to see Xehanort, holding a familiar blue-haired girl. "Aqua!" He yelled. "Let her go!"

"Why should I? You see, I now hold the very thing closest to your heart. And I can take it away, fast and simple."

"Aqua!"

"Van!" Aqua choked. "Help me! Van, please!"

"Put her down!" Vanitas sounded braver than he felt. He was powerless against Xehanort, especially with Aqua held captive.

"I don't think I need to. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you come to me to become part of the χ-blade."

Part of the χ-blade? "No! You can't make me."

"Oh, what a shame. And this girl really was charming. Too bad you gave her up." He grabbed her throat, preparing to break her neck.

"VAN!"

Vanitas's heart broke at the sound of Aqua's voice. "No! Stop!" Xehanort froze. "Don't touch her. Don't hurt her. Please. Just… let her go."

"Become the χ-blade, Vanitas."

"Is there anything, anything, I can do so you'll let her go? Except become the χ-blade?" He added swiftly.

"Become the χ-blade," Xehanort said again. "Become the χ-blade, or your precious 'water-girl' dies." Vanitas flinched.

He looked into Aqua's pleading eyes. She wanted help. She needed help. She deserved help. She deserved to live, unlike him. "Okay." Vanitas's voice cracked in pain. "Okay. I'll do it. Just… let me hold her. One last time."

Xehanort, unblinking, released Aqua. Vanitas ran over to her. "Aqua! Oh, my god. Are you okay?" He started to help her up.

"Van… why?"

"You deserve it. You deserve it more than me. Please… just hold me." She obliged, holding him in a tight, constricting embrace. She was crying into his shoulder.

"Vanitas… please don't go."

"I can't let you die."

"But you'll die."

He hugged her tight. "Only for you, my sweet water-girl." He moved a hand to touch her cheek.

Aqua leaned in, as if to kiss him. "Van…" Her eyes flew open, her mouth a wide O. "Van!" The word was gurgled, mangled. Her eyes sank closed, and she fell into Vanitas's arms, unmoving.

"Aqua!" He looked at Xehanort, who had stabbed Aqua through with his Keyblade. "You… son of a—" Xehanort grabbed the boy by the throat.

"You volunteered. At last, the χ-blade will be mine."

"You… killed Aqua!"

Xehanort grinned. "A piece of cake. But no worries. Now you two can be together again. In the afterlife."

"Aqua! Aqua!" Vanitas cried as Xehanort readied his Keyblade for the kill. Vanitas closed his eyes. At least they could be together. He was close, he could almost hear her voice.

Then he realized he could hear her voice. "Vanitas! Vanitas! It's not real!"

"Aqua?" Vanitas gasped.

"Vanitas! It's just in your head! Vanitas! Look at me! Stop choking yourself!"

Vanitas forced his eyes shut. And then he opened them. He was staring into the concerned face of Aqua. Ansem the Wise was nearby with Saïx.

And then he realized he was, in fact, choking himself. He forced his hands away from his throat.

"Van!" Aqua hugged him. "You're okay!"

All in my head. Vanitas thought, silent. All the pain… the despair… it wasn't real. But he held Aqua tighter as she whispered soft, comforting words in hushed tones, for his ears only.

Yes, Vanitas decided, that night after he forced himself out of a delusion. This… this happiness and safety… this is real.