His shirt sticked to his back from the heat outside. His fingers where dialing the phone number he had memorized months ago, adding some area codes the lady at the counter was yelling at him to dial each time he lifted his eyes to tell her the phone didn´t work. Gamzee was leaning against the wall, his eyes going from Tavros´ to his hurried fingers clicking the numbers on the old phone. He wished he could help him, but the last time he used that phone he just gave up on it. Tavros´ expression changed in the blink of an eye and Gamzee knew he had finally got it.

-Hello?- He spoke into the microphone, his eyes darting to Gamzee and to the lady as if he suddenly wondered if he will have the privacy he desired. He knew he wouldn´t. –Aradia? Yes, it´s me.- He smiled widely, his eyes squinting in the process from true happiness. He hadn´t heard her voice in weeks, and the melodic tune of it seemed to wake in him good memories of a life-long friendship. –Yeah, I´m alright.- He nodded as he spoke as if the girl would see him.

Gamzee observed him speak for a long time, leaning against the cool wall from a distance where he could both hear and pretend he wasn´t interested in his conversation. He wondered who he was speaking to, and decided it was probably a woman. His mother? He didn´t think so. The ex girlfriend he sometimes went on and on without realizing? He thought that was a possibility, but Tavros looked way too happy for it to be her. He tensed in place for a second. What if it was her indeed, and that was just the reaction she got out of him? Happiness. Relief for being able to hear her voice again. He didn´t notice he had been digging his nails in his palms until it hurt too much to go unnoticed. He sighed, feeling angry and stupid at the same time. He had no right to get mad. He heard Tavros laughing loudly, his cheeks getting red and he cursed himself for not hearing what he had said before that. He decided to remove himself from his place and stomp out of Ms. James shop.

The sun was high up in the sky, glaring at the people below and roasting them without mercy. It was easily one of the hottest days of the season, and the sweat ran down Gamzee´s brow annoyingly, glistening in the light. Gamzee breathed in and out heavily, trying to calm himself. He always was one to get upset easily, and his rage was awakened with special intensity when it called for it. But he had learned to control it well over the years, and it usually didn´t get out of control. But that didn´t mean he did not feel it boiling inside of him.

Tavros had entered his life exactly a month ago, and in that time lapse he had spent every day by his side in his grandfather´s property, working most of the time together. It had become a pleasant routine to relax in or outside the barn after work, when the sun had hidden and all that was left of it was a subtle hot breeze to warm the night for a while. They would talk about the past, and talk about the future in long conversations that lasted too long. But they never talked about the present.

They would embrace in passionate kisses once everyone was asleep, hidden from any eyes besides the animal´s, submerging in a world that consisted only of them, their hot blood and silence. They hadn´t had any further intimacy since that day inside the barn, and Gamzee wondered if Tavros wanted to take it slow for his sake. Tavros´ mind was a mystery he could only wish to one day understand properly. Maybe it had something to do with growing up in the city. Maybe it was just him. But the fact remained that Tavros talked about anything but "them". What exactly where they? Friends? Lovers? Did Gamzee mean anything to Tavros? He had to. But the real question was, did he mean to Tavros as much as Tavros meant to him?

He felt a hand grip his shoulder firmly to call for his attention, and Gamzee turned around to face the person who had disturbed his thoughts. His anger had vanished a while ago, and all that remained was a melancholic shadow over his dark eyes.

-I´m done.- He stated, fresh smile shining hugely. Gamzee tried to smile and nodded distractedly, looking elsewhere. –You ready to go? Or do you need something from here?- Tavros asked equally distracted, his mind back on the previous call.

-Your grandpa needed us to get a hold of the doctor.- he reminded him in monotone.

-You´re right.- he nodded, the previous joy fading almost completely. He remembered his grandmother had gotten sick. Gamzee felt guilty for reminding him like that. –Maybe I should call my dad too.- He said thoughtfully, turning around to look at Ms. James shop again. He didn´t want to worry him for nothing. But then again… -I´ll be right back.- he murmured hurriedly, leaving Gamzee alone again, to his own thoughts.

Tavros was rather quiet during the ride in Gamzee´s truck. They were heading towards Gamzee´s house to get some medication the doctor had said Tavros´ grandmother could use for now, at least until he had the time to go check on her himself. He had described the symptoms and gave him a list of things he should do and medication that could ease her pain, and Gamzee had told him he had some of those in his house anyways. Tavros tried to keep his eyes on the new road, since it was the first time he had gone to his friend´s house and wanted to know his way there in case he needed it.

They parked at the side of an old small house, and Gamzee led him inside in the same silence Tavros was holding on to. He sighed as soon as he stepped inside the cool shade of his roof, throwing the keys on the couch and opening the curtains to let the light inside the dark place.

-Take a seat, I´ll be right back.- he told him, walking off to a door that led to a small corridor. Tavros sat there, hearing his footsteps fade away, and then was surrounded by dead silence bathed in the clock´s annoying tick and tock. He was able to sit there calmly for about five seconds before standing up to look at the pictures over the small table against the wall. There was a big portrait of a woman with black locks and dark eyes, who looked straight from the picture with a serene smile and sweet aura to her. "Gamzee´s mother", he said to himself, sure of his own hunch. It was like looking at a female version of his friend.

There were other smaller pictures around the big one, all facing him, small boys with bright smiles being the main theme. He crouched down to look at one framed picture in more detail, a small smile beginning to tug at his lips. It was a picture of a man with long raven black hair and skinny frame, probably in his twenties, hugging a younger Gamzee from behind, both with huge and heartwarming smiles. He picked it up almost unconsciously, putting it in front of his face as his smiled widened. Gamzee looked so genuinely happy, so young and innocent. He put it back down where it was, and gave a quick look to the rest of the many pictures and portraits before moving on to the few paintings on the wall. He heard Gamzee enter the room.

-Found them. Good thing my dad didn´t throw them away.- he was smiling relieved as he approached Tavros, the pills in the bottle rattling with each step he took. He saw how Tavros was glued the paintings. –My mother painted them.- He said quietly, with a tone of voice that gave in the pride he felt for that fact, and also advised to not ask any more questions about it.

-Beautiful.- was all he said, turning to look at Gamzee again. He saw him put the pills inside his pants´ pocket, to then stand there and stare at him back. –So this is where you live.- He stated with a sigh, looking around once more. Gamzee nodded. –huh.- He nodded to himself as well, eying Gamzee as he looked to the ground.

-We shoul-

-You okay?- Tavros interrupted him, a softer and sweeter tone of voice taking Gamzee by surprise. He blinked, meeting eyes with Tavros for a second before breaking into a soft laugh.

-Yeah, sure. Why wouldn´t I? Come on, let´s leave.- He smiled, shaking his head, starting to turn around to head for the door. He hadn´t thought the man would notice the sadness he was slowly nurturing in his heart.

-Gamzee, please, you have that puppy face going on.- He laughed quietly, following Gamzee and taking hold of his shoulder to make it clear they weren´t leaving until Gamzee said what was in his mind. Gamzee turned around to face him with little enthusiasm. Tavros raised his eyebrows, insisting in his question. –You can tell me.-

-I´m fine.- He objected, but not really doing an effort to appear to be "fine" in the least of ways. Tavros stared at him for far too many seconds, crunching his eyebrows in growing concern, trying to read in his dark eyes the reason for his blue mood. Gamzee kept his quiet gaze stubbornly. Tavros sighed.

-Come here.- He ordered, not waiting for Gamzee to follow the petition before he stepped closer and cupped his thin face in his hands softly. The older one closed his eyes as Tavros leaned in closer, feeling his breathing, and feeling his lips pressing against his. The kiss was so sweet and light it made Gamzee feel a hot shiver travel his skin. It made his face heat up with rushing blood. It made his lips part for more just as Tavros leaned away. He reopened his eyes seeing Tavros in a blur, to then feel the blur leave his eyes in liquid form, and feel the warm tears run down his cheeks like two droplets of lonely rain. He felt his stomach drop to the floor. He shouldn´t have done that, shouldn´t have let that happen.

He saw Tavros crunch his eyebrows deeply, looking straight at him, cleaning a lone tear away with his thumb just has he opened his mouth to speak.

-We have to leave.- Gamzee spoke a little too loud, interrupting, pushing Tavros away softly and turning around to leave. Tavros waited a few seconds, feeling a weird mixture of sympathy and guilt, and followed Gamzee to the truck in the same silence they had arrived in.

It was late at night when Tavros was able to get out of the house again to fetch Gamzee. He had stayed inside all day, following his grandfathers´ orders, the worry in his old eyes hurting his young chest. He had worries of his own, but the fact that his grandmother was sick and no one seemed to know for how long she would be in bed was wearing him down.

He walked inside the barn expecting to see his only friend in that place as he always did, and once he didn't see him sitting in their usual bench, he walked further inside to where the cows where safely tucked for bed, and the few goats where playing happily now that the heat was long gone. He searched with his eyes slowly, halfway expecting Gamzee to be laying down with one of the animals to relax as he found him once. But there was no sign of him except for the light he had forgotten to turn off when he left, apparently.

Tavros crunched his eyebrows once again, wondering why he had left without a goodbye, and why he hadn´t felt like chatting until late hours as was the routine. He remembered he had started behaving more distant after they had gone to the town. He remembered the tears he had let himself shed while he was holding his face after their kiss. He thought that maybe it was a personal problem he hadn´t told him about. He felt a little hurt about that possibility, since he had grown the habit of telling him basically everything, specially his problems. Spending day after day endless hours by his side had made him trust the man and become his best friend quicker than he had thought. The amount of time they spent together during the day made up for the amount of time in weeks it would have taken them in other circumstances to grow so close. That had happened to him only once before in his life, back when he was 11 and met a girl while he was at camp. Her name was Aradia and they spent the whole week together without being able to give each other a break. They have been good friends ever since. The difference with Gamzee was that he had first intended for him to be his bed partner, something he had reconsidered after some cold-headed thought. He had his reasons and fears.

He sighed disappointed, eyeing the place once more before turning off the lights and closing the barn for that night. He looked around outside anyways, hoping to sense the smell of tobacco coming out of a near place. He had no luck. Another possibility popped in his mind as he made the walk back to the house in the darkness. A possibility that had been hiding in the doldrums of his mind, silent, but always present when Gamzee looked at him with an especially thoughtful set of eyes. He shook his head, not knowing how to handle the situation if his hunch was right. Not knowing if he felt the same.

Oh wow this is shit. Also, I find it incredibly hard to not turn everything I write into angst of some sort. There´s always someone crying oh dear Gods

Tell me now if I messed up I´m just in the right mood to work miracles. Correction miracles.

And I´m so sorry for taking so long but you know real life can be hard and bring ya down

Thank you to all of you who faved and commented this fanfic! c: