A/N: Hello, there! Thank you for reading this, first of all. Secondly, this chapter is in Lily's POV, and I hope I did her justice as well! Thirdly, seriously nothing will make me happier than reviews, so if you could just take like 3 seconds to write something that would be brill. I love you for reading this. Hope you enjoy!

(LILY'S P.O.V.)

I don't understand the way this world works. How can you be watching the sunset and it's still light outside, and then you look away for two seconds and all the sudden it's pitch black? How can you hate someone for so many years, and then suddenly not be able to stop thinking about them? Granted, there was a gap between the hate and the feelings I'm having trouble accepting at the moment, called friendship. And it was unexpected and I still don't get how it happened. But I really did enjoy last year quite immensely and as much as I hate to admit it I know a major reason is because of my newly gained friendship.

And maybe this person is the reason I broke up with my now ex-boyfriend. Just maybe. He didn't even do anything besides write me those bloody letters. So many goddamn letters! And I'd read them and I'd hear his voice saying the words he had written. I could imagine where his laugh was in between words and sentences. And the places he had scratched out were horribly attempted jokes, which just made me laugh even more. I don't know if it was his absence from my daily life that made these stupid feelings grow or they were always there and I just hid them away. And I think about all the times I felt that pit in my stomach or my heart racing and I just ignored it because it was stupid. How I'd realized he was the only person I had my eyes on during Quidditch matches, and how I'd feel a strange feeling if he wasn't sitting behind me in Potions, trying to copy off of me, and ditching instead. And how he used to ask me out all the time and then he just stopped, and every day, in the back of my mind, I was waiting for him to ask again. Even if it was just a joke. I wanted him to. And when I realized how much emptiness I felt for Dave Beckon and how I felt so much for some one else, some idiotic prat, I made a wise decision to try to keep away from him that prat. Be nice and be cordial and don't do anything stupid.

And then he came up to me on the platform and I forgot my number one rule already. Completely just out the window.

And nevertheless, while I have been given the position of Head Girl, which is the most likely the dumbest decision Dumbledore has ever made, just my luck, who else is to be Head Boy but the one person I'm trying to avoid?

James bloody Potter.

I'm going to have to go meetings with him and do rounds with him and coordinate things with him and just…why, God? What did I do to deserve this? To deserve a perfectly handsome and attractive bloke who I may or may not have slight feelings for be around me at all times when all I want to do is get away from him? I'm a good girl! I'm not a slag, I'm not a cheater; I'm a goodhearted person all around. And you put me up with this.

I mean, really? Why?

He always seems to be there at the worst possible times. And that's when I think these unnecessary feelings started to really blossom, though, the dimwitted idiot I am, I ignored it.

James had already known about the whole Petunia situation, because for some strange reason I spilled my heart out to him about it, even before I liked him as just a mate. So right after Christmas holidays, after the whole thing with Remus, after he interrogated me like there was no tomorrow and, man, I've never seen him so worried about anything in my life, asking me a thousand times if I was okay, we kind of stayed up most of that night talking. And we ended up back on the Petunia situation. And I started telling him more about it and everything that's happened between us. And then…I mean, I don't know what came over me, but I started crying, like, really hard. Like, pretty much sobbing.

I can't help it. I'm sensitive.

So I started crying and then James wrapped his arms around me and let me cry against his jumper on the Gryffindor common room couch for who knows how long, and the last thing I remember before falling asleep was me crying and James stroking my hair and rubbing my back and holding me tight. And when I got tired of crying all I remember doing was clutching to James's jumper and closing my eyes and not thinking about anything except how James smelled really nice but I couldn't pinpoint the scent, though it was along the lines of freshly baked apple pie and cinnamon. And I don't remember feeling James move from out of me but when I woke up I had a Gryffindor blanket on me with a note that said "Didn't completely abandon you. I fell asleep too. Woke up around 5am. Thought it'd be best if I went back to my dormitory. I'm sorry. Hope you're okay. –JP." And I wasn't angry and I wasn't annoyed but I felt rather comforted and complete and cared for and I loved every bit of that feeling. And when he asked me that day if I was okay I said yes and smiled and thanked him and I kept thinking about his arms around me and his jumper and I told myself I was just thankful and it was nothing else, but I always knew I was wrong.

So now I have no choice but to be stuck with him when all I want to do is be away from him. And normally I am very good with self-control, I am, but when it comes to him I just forget everything and I don't know why I just do! I don't know why but there's something about him that's just so nice and comforting and yeah he used to be an arrogant bullying toerag but he hasn't really hexed anyone that I can remember in like, forever, and I can't help but think about him and it needs to stop. His adorably messed up hair and his hazel eyes and his smile that makes him like the most handsome bloke to ever walk this earth and the birthmark he has on his neck and how he hums to himself in class when we're doing work and…

"Lily," June, one of my best friends, called me.

I've been pulled out of my trance. "Hm?"

"What's on your mind that you can't pay attention to my story for five seconds?"

"Wha…what? Oh, it's nothing…nothing…" I mumbled and then looked down at my hands in my lap. Then I looked back at her. "Sorry. You were saying?"

She sighed. "Noel and I wrote to each other this summer."

First thing I thought about was James. And his bloody letters. Oh brother.

"Really? That's nice! Do you like him, or?"

"Oh, she fancies him, all right," said Delia, our other best friend. "And he fancies her. For sure."

"That's brilliant!"

"No," June said. "It's not."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because," Delia said. "He doesn't read for fun and he doesn't have a life goal and he's a Hufflepuff."

"Seriously, June? I went out with Dave and he's a Hufflepuff. It doesn't really matter."

"Yeah, and you broke up with him."

"Not because he was a Hufflepuff!"

"So why, then?" Delia asked.

I rolled my eyes. Psh. Like I'd tell them the whole real reason. Even if they were my best mates. "Just decided it'd be better if we were friends." And that was true.

"That's it?" Delia asked.

"I thought you really fancied him, Lil," said June.

"He really fancied me. But can we just drop this?"

They both sighed and exchanged a look. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, nothing," said June, putting her light blonde hair up in a ponytail.

"Lily's right. Let's get back to the matter at hand. So June won't go out with Noel Johnson because he isn't mister perfect. And she's a dumb blonde."

"Blondes are not dumb. You're so prejudice."

"You know, June, I think you should give up on this Prince Charming stuff. You're never going to find someone that you have absolutely nothing to not like about. That's just the fact of life," Delia said.

"Yeah, says the girl who breaks up with her boyfriend every other week," June mumbled.

Delia opened her mouth to retort but I said something before she could. "June, this isn't about Delia and her relationship problems with Michael. You wanted to talk about Noel, so we're talking about him. He could still be your so-called 'prince charming,' just don't put him on such a high standard. He's human. Even princes have flaws."

June crossed her arms and said, "Fine. Maybe you're right. But still, I don't know how this whole thing is gonna turn out anyway."

"I do. By the end of the week, you guys will have already snogged at least once. In a broom cupboard."

"Delia!" I said, laughing.

"You know I'm right," she said. "June, I love you, but we all know that you're a not-so-secret slag."

"She's got a point."

"I hate you guys," June groaned.

We finally arrived at the castle and as we were walking someone tapped me on the shoulder. June and Delia continued to walk. My heartbeat picked up speed because I suspected it was Potter, but I turned around to see someone else.

"Lily," Severus whispered.

I looked at him blankly and turned back around and walked. He followed. "Lily, you have to listen to me."

"Sev, go away."

He grabbed my arm. "Just listen for one second and then you can go on pretending I don't exist," he muttered.

I looked around and said quietly, "Fine. But it better not be about how you're sorry or how bloody angry you are that James Potter is Head Boy or-"

"Lily," he hissed. "Listen to me. I just wanted to…to warn you."

"Warn me? About what?" What was he playing at?

"Just…just stay safe. And be on extra look out for things around you that can be dangerous. Please."

I didn't know what that meant, except that Sev was risking his neck not only by telling me dangerous things are going to happen, but by him being involved in them. How else would he know?

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much," I said, and continued walking.

He continued to follow. "Please, Lily."

"Okay," I said, and walked faster, trying to catch up to my friends. And I didn't turn around.

When I caught up to them, they were walking alongside other people. And by other people, I mean their boyfriends and potential boyfriends. Michael Nodan had an arm around Delia's shoulder and she had an arm around his waist. He kept stroking her auburn colored hair and they were whispering in each other's ears and giggling. I know, gross. Don't worry, they'll probably break up by breakfast tomorrow. June was continuously playing with her hair as Noel Johnson told her some story about him and his Dad at a Quidditch match.

So, the loner I am, I walked slowly to the castle by myself. And I didn't really mind it, to be honest. It was my last time walking into Hogwarts for the first time. My last year here. And I was scared. But I had to be brave. For myself.

I didn't really think about much. I mostly just zoned out. When I got inside, James was standing there, alone as well. I tried to avoid his gaze, but his hazel eyes were staring right at me, and I couldn't help but stare right back. As I approached him, he grinned and said, "Lily."

I nodded at him and continued to walk. He followed me, as usual. As we got to the Great Hall I could see Sirius, Remus, and Peter already taking their seats at the Gryffindor table with Delia and June. Wendy Chase and Kimberly Farro, the other two Gryffindor girls in our year, were already sitting there too.

"Lily," James said again.

"James," I replied.

"What was Snape saying to you before?"

I turned around to him. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I know that you and Snivellus used to be best mates, but things have changed. It isn't a silly little game anymore. Him and his friends…they're up to something. Look, on the train, I bumped into him and-"

"I'm sure that's what happened," I said sarcastically.

"It is. I didn't hex him or anything, I swear! I just bumped into him and he acted like I put the Cruciatus Curse on him or something. I just want to know if he said anything to you that-"

"I don't think that's any of your business, Potter," I said.

He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Again with the last names..." He sighed. "I'm just worried about you-"

"Why doesn't anyone think I'm capable of taking care of myself?" But he was worried about me. And then I felt bad about attacking him like that. "Sorry," I said.

He shook his head. "No, no, you're right. You are. I'm just stupid. Don't mind me. Forget it," he said, and there was an edge in his voice. He walked to the table and sat next to Sirius who was sitting across from June, and they were talking. I sighed and placed myself in between Remus and June.

He was worried about me. Bloody hell.

I looked at him listening to Sirius and June's conversation, and it was hard to tell whether he was just uninterested in what they were saying, though I doubt that's the case because they were discussing Quidditch, or if it was that he was upset with how I responded to him worrying about me…

But what was there to be worried about? I mean…

No, he's right.

Everything.

See, we are in the midst of a war. And it's going to get worse. Lord Voldemort is rising to power quicker than ever before and those in denial are going almost as quickly as the muggleborns and blood-traitors.

And being a muggleborn is just like screaming out, HEY! I'M DIFFERENT! KILL ME BECAUSE I'M IMPURE LIKE YOU ALL MIGHTY PUREBLOODS!

Which is all utter rubbish, by the way.

And, Sev did just try to warn me. But what was going on? Would they try to kill people in school? Mulciber? Avery? Rosier? Would they actually try to kill in school? Could Dumbledore stop him? Does he even know about it? Of course he knows. He's Dumbledore. Him and the Order of the Phoenix know everything. I want to join them after school. I really do. I'd rather be out fighting and making a difference than just hiding all my life. They'll find me either way. They always do.

"Exactly!" shouted Sirius. "He was rubbish anyway. We'll find a good replacement for him. Won't we, Prongs?"

"What?" James asked, dazed.

"Are you all right?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," he said, glancing at me shortly. "Sorry. What were you saying?" he said as he turned back to Sirius.

"We were agreeing on the fact that Patrick Miles was a rubbish beater anyway, and we'll find a better one, I'm sure," said June.

"And I have just as much say as you do in who the new beater is," Sirius added.

"And why is that? I'm the captain!" James responded.

"Because I, my dear James, am the star beater of the team, and I refuse to work with someone as thick as Miles was. So you need my approval," Sirius said with pride.

"No," James said.

"Why bloody not?"

"Because, you're a horrible judge of character."

"I'm your best friend."

"Exactly," James said.

"What do you think, Lil?" June asked.

"About…" Even though I knew what she was asking. I just didn't really want to answer. Not with James around.

"Do you ever listen to me?" she snapped.

"Only sometimes," I reassured her.

Sirius chuckled. "About that bloke you were snogging in fifth year being rubbish at Quidditch and me clearly surpassing him in not only looks but in skills as a beater."

I rolled my eyes. "In all honesty, he wasn't so brilliant at Quidditch, I'll admit. But he was very handsome and a nice boyfriend."

"Doubtful. He was such a prat," Sirius said.

I looked over at James, who was looking rather uncomfortable, fiddling his thumbs and looking down at them.

"Well, anyway," said June. "We also need a new keeper. And it's always really bloody difficult to find a decent one."

"Thanks for the pressure, mates," James said.

"No problem, Captain!" Sirius exclaimed.

McGonagall finally started to quiet everyone down for the sorting. I don't know if it's just my nerves taking over me or if it was an actual reality, but it seemed to me that there were more Slytherins sorted than usual. Which really scared me. But every time a first year was sorted into Gryffindor we'd cheer and clap and that's always fun. When the sorting was over, Dumbledore said his classic, "Let the feast begin," and we all dug in like we were on the brink of dying from starvation.

I ate pretty quickly and didn't really talk to anyone except June and Delia a little. I glanced over from time to time to James, who was still talking to Sirius about the open Quidditch positions. Remus and Peter both tried changing the topic at least five different times and failed, which made me laugh. But on the sixth time, Remus mentioned the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Neil Jenkins. They ended up trying to figure out which way he would get fired.

"Sleeps on the job," Peter said.

"Secretly a vampire," said Sirius.

"Death Eater," said James.

"He doesn't look like one," said Peter.

James shrugged. "I stand by my decision."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Doesn't get fired. Quits."

"Why?" asked James.

"Because of us," said Sirius.

"Because of us," agreed Peter.

"Going on a mission for Voldemort," said James.

"He's not a Death Eater!" said Remus.

"We shall see, my friend. We shall see that I, the genius that I am, will be victorious as always in my completely accurate predictions," James said smugly.

I had just finished eating when Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius said, "What do you think, Evans?"

I took a good look at Professor Jenkins. He had dark hair and a scruffy beard. He was tall and lanky and was wearing all black. He had really dark eyes with barely any emotion. So I said, "I agree with James. Death Eater, for sure."

I have no clue what I was doing or thinking, but I looked over at James, who was grinning from ear to ear, and I flashed him a smile back.

"See, Moony. If Lily thinks so it must be true."

Remus looked at me and I shrugged. "You never know," I said.

Dumbledore quieted everyone down and gave the usual low down about first years following prefects and passwords and all that fun stuff. The fifth year prefects took the first years to their dormitories. I started walking with June (Delia was already snogging Michael somewhere) to our dormitory. James tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't we have the meeting with Dumbledore?"

I looked at my watch. "Yes, but not for another thirty minutes. I want to get settled in my room first."

"Oh, okay," James said lowly.

"I'll meet you at the entrance to Dumbledore's office then?"

"Yeah," he replied with a crooked grin.

"Brilliant. See you," I said, and kept walking with June.

June was looking at me with some weird expression. I couldn't tell if it was of confusion or of anger or of disappointment. But it made no sense. "Uh, June? What is it?"

She shook her head. "You're daft, Lily Evans," she laughed.

What in sodding hell was she talking about? Me? Daft? Psh. Says the girl who can't do a single essay without pleading for my help. "I happen to be Head Girl, Ms. Carter, and, correct me if I am mistaken, Head Girls are never anything but brilliant and perfect beings of this Earth."

"Dumbledore's just gone daft himself this year," she replied.

"You're a horrid mate."

"I'm truthful."

"So just lie to me. Or at least sparkle up the truth a bit."

"Fine," she sighed. "Lily, you are completely brilliant and no one can ever top you in anything in this life. Your…blazing red hair-"

"Blazing?"

"-symbolizes your fierceness. Your dazzling green eyes-"

"Dazzling?"

"-takes everyone's breath away. You're the top of every class-"

"Well, I wouldn't say every class-"

"Lily!" June shouted, laughing.

"What?"

"Quit interrupting!"

"Merlin, June. I wasn't asking for a Shakespearean sonnet-"

"A what?"

I chuckled. "I missed you," I said.

She smiled. "Yeah, I kind of missed you too. And it looks like we're both going to have to miss Delia for just a little bit longer."

"Eh, we can manage," I answered.

When we got to our dormitory, I didn't really unpack or anything, but instead I laid down on my bed and read one of my Muggle plays, Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare, which I've read, like, 4 times, but still.

After finishing Act I, it was five minutes to the meeting, so I rushed out of our room and ran to Dumbledore's office. James was already there, waiting.

"You're late," he smirked.

"No, I am not. My timing has never been more impeccable."

He simultaneously dropped his head and shook it. He licked his lips and then looked back at me, but he wasn't smiling this time. He looked kind of upset or something. I felt that rush of guilt take over and I said, "I'm really sorry."

He raised an eyebrow. "You didn't do anything."

"Yes, I did. I snapped at you before. And I shouldn't have. Your intentions were in the right place…I was just being stupid."

"You could never be stupid," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Please. Have you seen me in Divination? Thank Merlin I'm not taking it this year," I said. "Cherry pop," I declared, and the office's entrance opened.

I walked in and James followed. When we got to his desk, he was sitting there, writing something.

"Er, Professor?" said James.

"Sit, sit," Dumbledore said softly, still writing.

James and I looked at each other. I shrugged and sat down, and so did he. We waited a few more moments and Dumbledore put down his quill and looked up at us.

"Hello, Mr. Potter. Ms. Evans. How was the feast?"

"Brilliant, as always, sir," said James.

"Fantastic," I said.

He smiled faintly. "Good, good. I just wanted to inform you of a few things before the year gets started. I am assuming you know the seriousness of what is happening in the world outside of school, correct?"

"Yes," James and I both replied simultaneously.

"Very well, then. So as you know, Lord Voldemort recruits wizards and witches to be his so-called 'Death Eaters,' and become his servants. Now, if I am not mistaken, recently, Lord Voldemort has either been or has the idea of selecting wizards who are near to or have just become of age to use magic outside of school to join him."

"So you mean students, then? Sir?" James inquired.

Dumbledore sighed. "I am afraid so, James. Though I am not quite sure whether it has already happened or is going to happen in the near future. Lord Voldemort is very aware of the fact that there are young witches and wizards who like what he is doing and are willing to join him."

"But, why? Why would they want to join him, professor?" I asked.

Dumbledore stayed silent for a moment, and before I could say anything else, he answered. "The idea of power has a very strong impact on the human mind. We strive for it, though some of us try to achieve it in different ways then others. It seems to most people that the easiest way to reach this goal is to disregard morals and do what you think is best for you. The concept of power is one of mankind's biggest weaknesses. These people, these Death Eaters…they want power, Lily. And Lord Voldemort is the one with that right now."

"But in the end Voldemort will probably just use them for whatever he needs and then finish them off! W-won't he?" I said wearily.

"In all likelihood, yes. Unless they prove themselves worthy enough. That's where the power comes into play."

James spoke up. "So you think there are students here that have already joined Voldemort?"

"Like I said, I am not completely certain, though I do have a feeling. Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with you. Am I correct?"

James and I both nodded.

"Well, James, I am assuming you have a question for me. Irrelative to the situation we were just discussing."

"Why was I chosen to be Head Boy?" James automatically asked.

"Ah, there it is. Why don't you tell me?"

"Uh…" James hesitated.

"Think of why I am asking you this after what we just spoke about."

James nodded. "Because it is my ambition to be an auror. Like my dad."

"Not entirely, but that is part of the reason why. Although, I do not know if you realize that you also have earned the position. You excel phenomenally in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, and you are among the top students of almost all your classes as well. However, I think you and Lily both have the intellect, courage, and hearts to do what's best and be able to watch over things that may be going on extra carefully with the responsibilities these Head positions give you. Do you understand?" asked Dumbledore.

"Yes, sir," James answered. "Thank you."

I didn't say anything. I was trying to grasp it all. Was I only Head Girl because I wanted to be an auror, while most girls in our year wanted to be everything but?

"Lily," Dumbledore said.

"Sorry, sir. Yes, I understand."

Dumbledore looked at me for a few seconds before he said, "Lily, please do not think that the reason I chose you for Head Girl was solely because of you and Mr. Potter's career ambitions. Surely you know how much of an extraordinary young lady and student you are."

I really didn't know though. I was anything but extraordinary. I was ordinary. Teachers liked me and I did well on all my work but so did a lot of others in our grade. I wasn't as pretty as Wendy Chase, and I wasn't as smart as Remus, and I wasn't as heroic as James, and I wasn't as funny as Sirius, and I wasn't as good in potions as Sev, and I was just never the best. And that's the worst feeling. You know you're good, but not good enough. That just makes you feel like the worst.

I nodded, though I could see in his old eyes that he knew I didn't mean it. He nodded back and replied, "Well, now that everything is settled, you can go back to your dorms if you wish."

James and I stood up. "Thank you," I said softly, and James nodded at Dumbledore before he picked his quill back up and continued to write. And right before the door closed, I heard Dumbledore say, "Goodnight."

James and I walked most of the way back in silence. He had his hands in the pockets of his robes and I kept seeing from the corner of my eye him glancing at me. When we reached the staircase he stopped me and said, "Lily, what's the matter?"

How does he always know when I'm upset? And why? Can't he just leave me alone? Because I need yet another reason to fall into his arms and let him hold me while I cry? No. I can't.

"Nothing, it's nothing," I whispered.

"Lily," he said simply.

"It's fine, it's nothing. Everything's great," I said, trying to hide my natural sarcasm, as I started walking up the stairs.

"That's bullshit, Lily. You're quite easy to read when you're upset."

"I am not-"

"Yes you are. And I think I have an idea of what it's about," he said.

"So, good for you. Don't ask me if you know and just let it be."

He rolled his eyes, but didn't speak until we got to the top of the steps. "Lily, you were chosen to be Head Girl because you deserve to be. How do you not see that?"

"James-"

"You are the top of every class, you've almost never gotten in trouble, every single professor absolutely adores you…you're brilliant. How come you're the only one who doesn't get that?"

"But-"

"So what that you want to be an auror? That has nothing to do with why you were chosen for it. That has to do with me. If anyone should be questioning why they have a Head position, it should be me. Because Merlin knows that I'm far from eligible for this job."

I sighed. We got to the Portrait hole and James muttered the password "argentum gladio." We walked into the Common Room and I attempted to speak again.

"James, that's not…"

"It is. And it doesn't even bother me. Because at least I'm seen as worth something. You know?"

"Yeah, but everybody sees you as worth something. You're the star of the Quidditch team and you and your friends are the funniest blokes in the school and you're always there to save the day. You're the hero. I'm just the damsel in distress. Head Boy and Head Girl. It's like we're both supposed to be these…these superstars of the school or something, with like, superpowers besides what we are able to do as magic folk anyway…Like, Superman and Wonder Woman. You know who they are? 'Course you do. So, like that. But I'm not good enough for that. I'm just…invisible. And Wonder Woman doesn't even have the power of invisibility," I blabbered. I had the tendency to do that.

He shook his head, snickering, at first. And then he looked at me very seriously and said, "Invisible? Well, you're all I see. Maybe you were right about me and those extra superpowers."

I grinned. I couldn't help it. I don't get how he does sweet and funny at the same time but he does. And God damn him for it.

"I'm going to go to my room. But…you underestimate yourself. You really do, Lily. You say you're invisible? Open your eyes. You're not," he said, and then he started towards the stairs towards his dormitory.

"Wait," I said.

He turned around. And I didn't know why I even said wait. Stupid mouth. Did I want him to stay? Yes. But no, I don't. I don't I don't I don't.

"Goodnight," I said. Stupid.

He smiled. "G'night, Wonder Woman," and walked up to his room.

I walked to my dormitory and heard his words replaying in my head.

You were chosen to be Head Girl because you deserve to be…

You're brilliant…

Invisible? Well, you're all I see…

You underestimate yourself…

Get out of my head, James. Get out. As if don't have enough problems already.

"Hey, Lil," June greeted me when I walked in.

"How'd the meeting go?" Delia asked.

"It was…fine. How was your snog fest?"

June laughed. Delia snorted. "It was delightful, thank you very much for your concern."

I looked around the room. "Uh, where are Wendy and Kim?"

"Probably off shagging some desperate blokes," Delia replied.

June was about to say something but I stopped her. "Don't. Neither of you have a right to talk about what other girls do with blokes."

"Hey, Noel and I haven't even snogged. We're not even together-"

"Yet," Delia finished for her, smiling. "Give it a day or two."

"Why are you so confident that it's going to happen?"

"Because I know you, June. And I know he's been dying to ask you out for ages. And we both know there's no way in hell you're going to reject him. Aren't I right, Lily?" Delia asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No comment…"

"No comment means 'yes, but I'm too nice to say anything to June's face,'" said Delia.

"No, it just means no comment," I answered.

"Okay, sure. Anyway, June. You better say yes to him anyway. I don't care about your stupid criteria for the perfect guy. Just go with it."

June looked at me for my support, but I said, "Kind of agree with Delia on this one, June…"

June groaned and put her face against her pillow. "I'm going to sleep."

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired as well," Delia said as she got under her covers.

I opened up my trunk and started unpacking tiredly. When I was finished, I laid in my bed and tried hard not to think. That didn't really work though, because no matter how hard I tried I just kept seeing his face and hearing his voice.

Invisible? Well, you're all I see…

Over and over and over again. What did that even mean? Does he still fancy me? Do I want him to? Of course I don't. Because I don't want to fancy him. Why can't we just be mates? I mean, the physical attraction will die down. That's probably all it is anyway.

Just…

UGH.

I eventually fell asleep after replaying our conversation a countless amount of times in my head. I woke up angry with myself because he was the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes. Which was so utterly stupid and cliché, which made me detest it more.

When I had woken up, June and Delia were not in the dormitory. Wendy was getting dressed and Kim was still in bed. I quickly got washed up, changed, put my hair up, and left the dormitory.

I went to the Great Hall alone and at the entrance was Professor McGonagall, who handed me my schedule. I read it as I walked to the table slowly. I suddenly bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said before I looked up. It was Dave. "Oh, hi."

"Hey, Lily. How was your first night back?"

"It was nice. And yours?"

He shrugged. "Nothing special."

And then came the awkward silence. The awkward silence is like the best friend of conversations between exes. They're stuck together like glue.

"So…I think Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs have Divination together today."

"I don't take Divination."

"Oh."

Yeah. Oh. What a fantastic response.

"So I guess I'll see you around?" I asked and attempted a smile.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Great. See you, Lily," he said, and walked away.

I felt kind of bad because he really was a nice guy but I really didn't see anything in him. I did fancy him a bit when we first started dating, or at least I thought I did. I fancied someone else, though I denied it, and Dave is a nice, attractive, smart boy who liked me and I thought, why not? But the answer to that was answered when I kept thinking of someone else instead of my own boyfriend.

And those bloody letters.

Which I may or may not reread from time to time…

I think I should go to the hospital wing. Or St. Mungos. I am incurably mentally ill and I need help.

I sat down at the table across from Delia and June, where Delia automatically said, "Dave still fancies you."

"I haven't noticed," I said sarcastically, filling my plate with a waffles. I started to cut it up and couldn't find the syrup. I noticed June drowning her cereal in it. "June, I know you have some strange addiction to syrup and put it on everything, but do you think you can spare some for my waffles?"

She rolled her eyes. "Only for you," she said, and handed it to me.

"Thanks, mate," I said, and started drowning my own waffles in it.

"That's enough!" June said, snatching it out of my hands. I chuckled.

"Are you going to get back together with him?" Delia asked.

"Nah," I replied, taking a bite of my waffles.

"Why not?" June asked.

Because I'm in….because I fancy…a lot…because….UGH.

"He's just not for me," I said cooly.

"Okay, sure," Delia said, seemingly annoyed.

"What?"

She didn't respond except with a smile. "What?" I asked again. Suddenly, someone took a seat on top of the table right next to my waffles.

Great.

"Hey, Lily," James said with a grin.

I breathed. "Hello," I said, and cut up another piece of my waffles.

"Good morning, June, Delia," James said, and then turned back to me. "Ooh, waffles," he said, taking my fork and picking up a piece and shoving it into his mouth.

"Hey!" I said, slapping his knee. "Get your own."

"I did get my own. Off your plate," he said proudly. Then he picked up my schedule.

"You're taking Ancient Runes? Why?"

"It's interesting!" I defended the subject, trying to take my schedule back but he was holding it up too high.

"Well, that's the only subject you have that I don't. This year's going to be loads of fun," he said, taking another piece of my waffles.

I was going to kill this kid.

"Even my free periods?"

"Yep. Remember? We both aren't taking Divination."

Bloody brilliant. "Oh, right. May I have my schedule back now?"

"No need, Ms. Evans. We have the same schedule today, so there is no need for such thing, because I can direct and escort you to all of your classes."

I nicked it from his hands. "No need, Mr. Potter. I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

He rolled his eyes. "You love saying that. Get new material." He took yet another piece of my waffles and then said with a stuffed mouth, "See ya," and put my fork back down on my plate and jumped off the table.

"Git," I turned and yelled at him. He turned around, laughing. And then, stupid me, I started laughing too. And I watched him walk away. Because I'm a girl, and I do stupid things like that. Stupid stupid stupid.

When I turned back around, Delia was smiling like she was just told she won the lottery. "What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing, nothing…."

Her and June shared a look and then looked down at their plates and continued eating.

Did they know? Did they know I liked James? Shit.

Was I that obvious? No I wasn't. Did they see the letters? Did they hear our conversation last night somehow? Could they just tell? Was it like, a best mate instinct or something?

Bloody hell.

We went to the first class of the day, which was Defense Against The Dark Arts with Ravenclaws. The Death Eater looking professor had a brilliant idea of practicing dueling first.

Professor Jenkins spoke in a very monotone voice with barely any expressions. "Welcome, class, to your first lesson of the year. We are going to duel first, just so I can see what level each of you are at. Pick a partner to duel with from either your own house or the other."

Delia was already with Michael, so June and I decided to partner up. June wasn't the best at dueling, so I might have to go easy on her. But I won't. Majority of the people picked from their own house, but a few picked from the other.

"Okay, now that we all have our partners, who would like to go first?" asked Professor Jenkins.

Suddenly, both Sirius and James jumped on the dueling platform. "Ready, Prongs?" said Sirius.

"Ready, Padfoot," James said. They shook hands first, then drew out their wands. They bowed, and walked opposite ways. I looked at Professor Jenkins, who looked rather annoyed with them already. Typical.

"On my mark," the professor said. "One, two, three-"

"Petrificus Totalus!" shouted Sirius.

"Flipendo!" shouted James.

James dodged Sirius' curse but James's curse hit Sirius, and he got completely knocked over. He stood up, licking his lips. "Levicorpus!"

Suddenly, James hung in the air by his ankle, but he was still holding his wand. He pointed it at Sirius and shouted "Stupefy!"

Sirius became stunned. James muttered a counter curse and let himself down. Then he pointed his wand at Sirius who started to back away. "Incendio!"

Flames appeared in between them. Sirius pointed his wand at the fire. "Aguamente!" he shouted, and water spurted out his wand and put out the fire. Before he could do anything else, James shouted, "Expelliarmus!" and Sirius' wand went flying across the room.

"Tosser," Sirius spat, as he went to pick up his wand.

The class clapped and cheered and James was totally loving it. I couldn't help but laugh, and I clapped myself. He looked over at me and smiled, to which I rolled my eyes but continued to laugh.

Professor Jenkins spoke. "Er, that was very good. What is your name, sir?"

"James Potter," he said.

"Well, Mr. Potter, that was quite a good, er, demonstration you and your friend made, there. Ten points to Gryffindor. What is your name?" he asked to Sirius, who was walking over.

"Sirius Black," he responded.

"Well, then. Good work, to the both of you. You make quite a team."

"We know," they answered at the same time. Sirius punched James arm as he jumped off the dueling platform. He walked over to Remus and Peter. James jumped off after, right next to where I was standing.

"Pretty good, eh?"

"Not bad," I responded. "I'm still not so fond of that Levicorpus spell."

"Hey, Sirius used it, not me."

"All the same," I said. "I still don't like it."

He shrugged. "Understandable, I guess."

"You're pretty good at guessing, then. Also, I still stand by your decision of Professor Jenkins being a Death Eater. I mean, look at him! He has no emotions what so ever. Only someone like that could work for Voldemort," I whispered.

I looked at James, whose face seemed to suddenly be full of life. "I knew you were a smart bird, Evans. Crazy, but smart too."

"Hey, hey, I thought we were done with the last names, no?"

And then he smiled, that earth shattering, heart-crushing smile. His hazel eyes lit up as a grin painted across his face. It was absolutely endearing. The kind of smile that made him look like he was the sweetest bloke alive, the kind of smile that physically took my breath away and made my stomach drop. Damn it.

"Sorry, Lily. My mistake," he said, and I could still imagine him grinning as he walked away.

I didn't even bother to look at June because I was nervous to see if she'd have that stupid look on her face or not like she did this morning after I conversed with dear ole James. So instead I just thought about a bunch of spells I could use to catch June off guard while dueling with her.

June and I were the fourth pair to go, and, as modestly as I could put it, I destroyed her. She was quite embarrassed and lectured me about how I should go easy on her and I told her I did which is true but…ya know. Whatever.

Anyway, Delia beat Michael (which I'm sure he let happen), Remus beat Peter (typical), Kim beat some Ravenclaw bloke (guess that's who she was snogging), and Wendy lost to some Ravenclaw mate of hers. And the other Ravenclaws…I wasn't really paying too close attention to.

Let's not discuss what I was daydreaming about. Because it's obvious and it doesn't need to be said out loud. So…hmph.

The rest of the first day back was all right, I suppose. There was Herbology, which is usually a bore but I'm pretty good at it, so that was fine. Then there was History of Magic, which is fascinating to me still, being of Muggle background, though most half and pure bloods find it a bore. Lunch was normal. Then we had Transfiguration, which is not my best subject but I'm not awful at it. James is like McGonagall's pet in that class though, I swear. She'll give him as many detentions as she pleases any other time, but when it comes to Transfiguration (and Quidditch), she goes all soft on him. And McGonagall barely ever goes soft.

The last "class" of the day wasn't really a class. It was a free period, for me. And James. Just my luck! (Can you feel the sarcasm?) Because I just need a whole period free where he is free as well. Luckily, my lovely professors have all already assigned homework and essays. Marvelous! Right? Don't you love school?

So after Transfiguration, I ran off to the library with all my books and such. I had to write a short essay on the use of Mandrakes for Herbology, I had to do a sheet for Defense on counter curses, read ten pages of the textbook for History of Magic, and I had to read twenty pages for Transfiguration. Brilliant. I decided to do the Defense sheet first and get it over with. It was a piece of cake. I was almost done with my essay when I was so rudely interrupted by the exact person I wanted to be interrupted by yet didn't at the same time.

"I knew I'd find you in here," James said, taking a seat across from me.

"You're a genius," I said. "Who knew but you I come to the library?"

James rolled his eyes. "Yes, I am a genius, thanks for finally taking notice."

"Why were you looking for me anyway?"

"I wasn't looking for you, Lily. I already knew where you'd be, so there was no point in looking."

I scoffed. "Okay, so what took you so long then? It's twenty five minutes into the period."

"I was doing work," he replied.

"James Potter was doing work? Is this some kind of joke?"

"Har har," he mocked. "I read the pages for Transfiguration and History of Magic. I came here because I don't understand this damn Herbology shit and I need your help."

"Still, I'm impressed you're actually working," I said.

He shrugged. "Why not. I'm Head Boy, and I have nothing better to do anyway. All my mates are in Divination. And you're here."

And you're here. Sodding hell. Why does he say things like that to me?

"Well, just your luck, because I'm finishing it right now," I said. "But you can't copy it."

He sighed. "Fine. Just explain it to me because I'm lost. The subject is so bloody boring."

"You're not wrong...but it's easy. Just give me five minutes. Do your Defense sheet while you're waiting. It's a breeze."

"'Course it's easy. It's Defense. And our lovely Death Eater professor has no idea what he's doing."

I snickered. "True. Do the sheet though."

So James did the Defense sheet and I finished my Herbology essay. And I couldn't help but notice his humming while doing the work and I hid my smile. And then I helped him with his essay. And I was surprised when he was actually paying really close attention to what I was saying instead of just begging me to write it for him, which he didn't do. And by the end of the free period he had written his essay and now he had all his work done and I didn't.

"Thanks, Lily," he said as he put his essay away in his rucksack.

"Don't mention it. But now I have to read the pages for History of Magic and Transfiguration."

"It won't take long. Do you want me to just tell you what it says?"

"Nah, I'll just read it myself," I answered, opening my History of Magic textbook.

"I can't believe I finished my work before you, Wonder Woman," he chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, me either."

I was a few pages in when I realized James was still sitting there, just watching me.

"Er, you know, they're probably out of Divination by now."

"Mhm."

"So you don't have to stay here with me while I read. I'm not very entertaining."

He shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something but the words didn't come out. I wonder what it was. After a few moments, instead he said, "What are mates for?"

Right. Mates. Bloody brilliant.

I nodded, and went back to reading. And he still sat there, watching. Once I finished History of Magic and started Transfiguration, James still sat there, which gave me this weird but nice feeling in my stomach and I still don't get why he was staying there. But eventually, Sirius barged into the library looking for him.

"James, get your arse out of here 'cause Moony and Wormtail are both doing work and I need someone to do something fun with me or I'm going to die."

"Calm down, Sirius," I said. "It's only our first day back. A bit of work won't hurt you."

"You're right, Evans. It won't hurt me. It'll kill me. Now, let's go," he said, grabbing James.

"Bye," he said, chuckling as Sirius dragged him out of the library.

I laughed along with him and waved. When they exited the library I tried to continue reading Transfiguration but it was suddenly harder without James there, which makes no sense. In girl world, wouldn't it be harder to concentrate with the bloke you fancy right in front of your face? For me, you know, I'm totally cool with that. But when he's gone, it's like I'm paralyzed.

What is wrong with me?

Well, a lot of things, but that's beside the point.

The rest of the day was more or less all right. I spent it reading most of Romeo and Juliet while Delia and June constantly asked me questions about the homework we had. Too bad I couldn't help them with Divination. Ha.

I had another small encounter with James at the close of the day. It was really just a bump into each other kind of thing right before I was going to bed.

"Hey, I'm sorry for before, with Sirius," he apologized.

"It's fine," I smiled. "I was sure you were already sick of me by the time he got there."

"Nah. You're hard to get sick of," he answered.

And I didn't know what to say. So I just stood there, smiling like an idiot.

"Fancy a game of Wizard Chess?" he asked.

The idea was tempting, but I was actually quite tired. "I would, but I could really use some sleep…another time, though. Promise."

He nodded, and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. Did he actually still fancy me? Or was I imagining it?

I'm just delusional.

"I'll hold you to that promise," he said.

I smiled slightly. "Well, goodnight, James," I said, and went to my dormitory before I could look back and feel the need to stay.

I heard him say softly, "'Night…"

I'm still trying to understand how I could like James so much. Besides him being hilarious and obviously attractive and good at pretty much everything he does. He's got something about him. He can be very warm and caring sometimes, and he's a fantastic listener and actually cares about me, I think, unlike most people who just pretend to. And just everything he does….the way he smiles and speaks and laughs, it just makes me mental.

Absolutely, positively, mental.