A/N: So this is probably the fastest I'll ever update. This chapter is pretty short and while I apologize for that, I kept my promise and the big thing happens this chapter! I can't wait for you to read it. Thank you to anyone who has reviewed! And if you haven't, I would love you more than I love summer rain if you did!- and I LOVE summer rain. :) Thank you for reading and enjoy!
(James's P.O.V.)
Lily Evans is intoxicating. She's like the fresh touch of firewhiskey on my tongue. She's like the smell of spring. It's like everything she does is in slow motion, but it goes by too fast. It's the way she taps her fingers when she's nervous. It's the way her laugh is louder than anyone I know, and I wish I could hear it all day. It's the way her eyes literally suck you in and there's nothing more beautiful in the world, except maybe her smile. It's the way she always eats waffles in the morning. It's the way that every now and then she smells like raspberries. It's the way she looks you right in the eyes when you're talking to her and when she's talking to you. It's the way she beats me in chess every game, and always takes pride in it. It's the way she works harder than anyone I know. It's the way she's an amazing mate, to not only me but to all her other friends. It's the way she never judges anyone. It's the way she has this intuition about everything. It's the way she's never really angry, no matter how hard she tries. It's how forgiving she is. It's the way she looks at you like you're the most important person in the world.
Like I said. Intoxicating.
"Prongs!" I heard someone shout.
"What?" I asked, looking away from Lily laughing with Delia and June.
"Would you stop drooling over Evans and listen?" Sirius asked with a smirk on his face.
"I am listening," I lied. "And I'm not drooling either."
"So you know the plan?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Plan for what?" I asked.
"He wasn't listening," Peter sighed.
"We need to go to a Lily-free zone for him to pay attention," Sirius said, taking a bite of his lunch.
"I am paying attention!" I defended, though I obviously wasn't.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Our plan of sneaking out to Hogsmeade today."
"Wait," I said. "Did we not just do that last week?"
"So?" asked Sirius. "I'm in need for a break."
"You don't even do any work," Peter said.
"Wait, Remus, why are you even on board with this?" I asked him. "You're supposed to be the one telling us a once a month is enough."
"Well, technically," Sirius intervened. "Our last trip was September. And now it's October. Hence, the once a month rule."
"Moony," I whined.
"It's the new moon in a few days. I'm stressed out. Sue me."
"We still have left over firewhiskey from last time. It's in my drawer," I reminded them. "And it's a Saturday, anyway. Can't we just get sloshed in the room?"
They looked at each other. "What's up with you, James?" asked Sirius. "Lily getting to your head?"
Ugh. Here we go again.
"No. I mean…maybe. But I'm Head Boy. I'm not supposed to be promoting these things!"
"Yet you're promoting getting pissed in our dorm room," said Peter.
"Well, I think that's better than sneaking out again when we can just do it here. I'm still one for getting buzzed."
"Fine. I'm with James on this one," said Remus.
Sirius groaned. "Since when did you two become so boring?"
"Moony was always boring," I said.
"I was unaware that being a werewolf classified me as boring, but thanks, I appreciate that," Remus said.
"Fair enough, but I am not boring," I defended myself. "Pete is."
"I am not," Peter murmured.
"Ugh, fine, fine. We'll just stay in our room like a bunch of losers. Woop-dee-doo," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Why am I friends with you guys again?"
"Because no one else would take you in," Remus said. "And we were ever so kind to do so. So complaining is just completely unnecessary."
Sirius frowned. "I resent that."
"No, you don't," Remus replied.
"How do you know what I resent and what I don't?"
"Would you two stop fighting like an old married couple? It's getting old," I said.
"You just wish it was you and Lily fighting like an old married couple instead of us," Sirius said.
Why did this always turn to me fancying Lily? "You're a git, Padfoot."
"Right back at you, brother," he said, taking a chicken wing out of my plate.
"Hey-"
Someone cleared their throat behind me but I didn't bother turning around. Sirius dropped the wing on his plate, wiped his hands on his napkin quickly and said, "Well, my men, later will be greater," hopped literally over the table to my side, slapped my back, and hopped off the bench.
I turned around to see Carly waiting right there with a sly smile on her face, and right then Sirius put his arm around her shoulders, saluted us, and proudly strutted away with his shag buddy.
"Where do you think they're off to do it this time?" I asked.
"Probably a broom closet," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "You know Sirius. The bloke has exceptional class."
"So does Carly, apparently," I responded.
"So what are they now, exactly?" Peter asked.
"Mates with benefits, I suppose?" I suggested.
"But Carly wants to be in a relationship," said Remus.
Peter chuckled. "And Sirius just wants a good shag."
"Yeah, but he likes Carly," I added. "He just doesn't like admitting it."
"He likes to drone on and on about it when he's drunk, though," said Peter.
"Well," Remus said, looking at Peter. "It's not as bad as Prongs over here when he's drunk babbling about-"
"Hey, Remus, I need your help!" someone shouted. I turned around to see Delia walking over with Lily not too far behind her. I subconsciously straightened myself up, running a hand through my hair. I saw Lily rolling her eyes, biting her lip, trying to prevent a smile from crossing her gentle face. I realized she noticed the automatic hand-to-hair thing, so I dropped it quickly, and that's when her face broke out in a grin.
"Sure, what is it?" Remus asked Delia as she plopped down beside him.
"Defense," she whined, pointing to the page in the textbook. "I don't know what in bleeding hell I'm supposed to write about dementors because it does not say a damned thing in here…."
"Hi," Lily said to me, still standing, as Remus helped Delia and Peter watched them.
"Hey," I said coolly. She looked beautiful today, but when didn't she? She seemed awake, so her eyes looked less tired but I could catch a glimpse of sadness hidden beneath them, but I didn't dare to ask again. "Where's June?"
She sighed as she sat down beside me, dropping her rucksack on the floor. "She just went off with Noel somewhere." She looked around. "Sirius?"
"With Carly," I told her.
"Ah," she said, nodding her head. "You never even told me the whole story of what's going on with them. But you four are back on track, I assume?"
I smiled. "Yeah, we're sorted. Sirius could just be stubborn sometimes."
"Oh really? I haven't noticed," Lily said sarcastically.
"Aren't we all?"
"Yeah, I suppose," she laughed light-heartedly. I wanted to hear her laugh again. "So, was my theory correct?"
I nodded. "Dead on. Sirius fancies her, for sure. But he doesn't want to be 'tied down,' and somehow he convinced Carly that she doesn't want to be either. So for now they're just…"
"Friends with benefits?"
"Exactly," I said. "Which has not really been so pleasant for any of us besides them at Quidditch practice. Should have never paired those two together."
She chuckled again, making my heart pang against my chest so loud I could almost hear it. "Better hand in your resignation now, captain."
I grinned. "You're right. Not only that, but your dear mate Miss Carter constantly trying to murder Thorne isn't exactly an easy situation for me to try and tame."
"Hey, she's just protective over Emily. It's understandable. Wouldn't you do the same if you had a sister?"
Why did she always have to be so logical? "Well, yes, but I don't have a sister, so there's no issue."
She rolled her eyes. "You're lucky for that."
I almost asked why, but I stopped myself, remembering the things she's told me about her and her sister Petunia's relationship. So I shrugged and muttered, "Maybe."
I think she got that I was trying not to play the save-the-day-guy right now, so she gave me a curt smile.
"God bless your soul, Remus Lupin," Delia practically shouted, scribbling quickly her last few sentences.
I picked up Lily's bag for her and her cheeks turned a faint pink. Why was she blushing at such a simple gesture I've done for her over the years so many times? "Oh, you didn't have to do that. I can do things my-"
"-self, yes, I know," I finished for her, flashing a grin, holding out the bag, raising my eyebrows.
She shook her head, smiling in submission, snatching her rucksack from my hands. "Thanks." She stood up, throwing it over her shoulder. "Don't forget rounds tonight. Or you'll find yourself waking up six feet under."
"Death threats? You've been giving me a lot of those lately."
"I never said you'd be dead," she replied, smirking. "I just said you'd wake up six feet under. You'll have enough oxygen to last you enough time to figure out how to get out. Unless you don't wake up in time."
"That'll be easy to get out of," I said. "I could just-"
"I've stolen your wand before I've buried you."
"Let's say I wake up when you're doing all of this?"
"You won't," she answered confidently. "I have it all planned out. And I'm not telling you anything else about it."
"I'm glad you spend your free time thinking of ways to put me in misery."
"It's what I do best. I am Head Girl, after all. I need creative ways to try to enforce the rules. Maybe you could learn something from me."
I smiled, rolling my eyes. So I promised, "I'll be there."
"You better," she said, before turning on her heels and walking to Delia, who was shoving her book and parchment into her own rucksack. I watched as Lily said bye to my two friends and left with Delia merrily.
"Prongs," Remus said. "You're staring again."
I averted my eyes away from her fading image and looked at Remus and noticed Peter was suddenly chatting with a sixth year. I turned to face Remus. I sighed. "Yeah, yeah I know…"
"She likes you, James. I know you don't think so, but-"
"Remus, she used to hate me. She doesn't fancy me now. We're just mates. She's made that pretty clear."
"How so?"
"After the thousands of times she's rejected me?" I reminded him.
"And how many times was that this year? Or even towards the end of last year?"
I frowned. "Okay, but last year she had a boyfriend."
"For the last few weeks of the term, that was it!"
"Well…"
"And she's been single all this year so far. And you know you're not the only one who fancies her, James. Why don't you just try?"
I rolled my eyes. "I have tried…in the past. I'm honestly just happy with us being mates. She doesn't…she doesn't look at me the way I look at her."
Remus sighed. "Prongs, just-"
"Can we drop it?" I asked, trying not to sound irritated.
"All right," Remus said. And we finished eating in silence.
For some reason, tonight I really only had one sip of firewhiskey, and that was it. Maybe it was because I knew I had to go meet Lily soon for rounds, or maybe it was just because I wasn't in the mood, or maybe it was both.
The thing about the Marauders, is we were all completely different types of drunks. When Padfoot gets drunk, he's just a more exaggerated version of himself; he's louder, he's crazier, he swears three times as much, and he doesn't hold anything back. When Wormtail's drunk, that's when the little bit of fun comes out in him. He'll usually find some bird a year or two younger and snog them for a bit, and if he's just with us he's just more lively. Moony is relatively the same when he's drunk from when he's not drunk, except when he is drunk he loses his intelligence just a bit and he's way less uptight. And, well, me, when I get drunk, I get all loopy. I have no clue what's going on and I just laugh at everything and I act ridiculously immature (not that I don't on a regular basis act immature…but I'm getting better! Aren't I?).
Anyway, when we're drunk, we all end up having the strangest, most pointless, idiotic conversations ever. I mean, they're wildly amusing, but still, pretty uh, not on par with our regular intellect.
So them three were all relaxed, no worries, and I was just sitting here thinking about Lily and what Remus said and what Delia and June said and just what would happen if maybe possibly something…
My thoughts were interrupted when Sirius said, "Hey, Prongs, why the long face?"
"His face is more circular than oval shaped…actually…no, no, it's more oval like," Remus said.
"What are you on about?" Peter asked.
"Well," said Remus. "Ovals are long, circles aren't. Hence, James's face being the shape of an oval."
"What," I simply said. It wasn't even a question.
"Ovals, circles, triangles, hexagons…" Sirius said. "Who needs 'em?"
Remus literally face palmed. "Yeah, who needs 'em when you've got a shag mate to bend and twist into any shape you'd like!"
"Exactly!" Sirius agreed happily, taking another sip (okay, gulp) out of the bottle.
Remus rolled his eyes. "I was being sarcastic."
"You're always sarcastic, Moony," said Peter, chuckling.
"I wouldn't say always," he responded.
"We didn't get to why Prongs's face is long," said Peter.
"Yes we did," said Sirius. "Because his face is shaped like an oval."
"You dolt," Remus laughed. "When you asked why the long face you meant why does he look upset."
"I did?"
"Yes," both Remus and Peter said.
"That's a stupid way to ask someone if they're upset," Sirius said.
"You're the one who said it!" said Peter.
"I don't think when I speak!" Sirius defended himself.
"Oh yeah, and that's news to us," said Remus, snickering.
"Says the bloke who's not always sarcastic."
"I am not always sarcastic! Right James?" he asked.
"Well-"
"Wait, James, you never answered why you were upset!" Sirius shouted.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not upset. And you all were too busy bickering over shapes and being sarcastic. I got side tracked in the entertainment."
"Did you even drink?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah, a bit," I said.
Sirius grabbed the bottle from Peter during a mid-sip, causing it to spill on Peter, causing Remus to howl with laughter, and Sirius crawled over to me, shoving the bottle in my face. "C'mon, Prongs, get sloshed with us," he slurred.
"Padfoot-"
"Don't go all Head Boy on me now, James. I miss my best friend."
"I'm right here!" I said.
He shook his head violently. "Nuh-uh," he said. "You're all boring and pansy-like now…it's horrific. My worst fears come to life."
"I am not," I said. "I drank!"
"Remus is more drunk than you are!" Sirius said. "You aren't even drunk at all," he said, prolonging the word 'all.' "Not even tipsy."
"So? What's the big deal?"
Sirius gasped dramatically. "What's the big deal? When Merlin was named the greatest wizard of all time, did he say what's the big deal? When Ireland won the World Cup three years in a row did they say what's the big deal? When-"
"What does any of that have to do with me being drunk or not?"
"It has everything to do with it!" he shouted.
I rolled my eyes and looked at my watch. "I have to go-"
"Noooooo," Sirius whined, pulling on my arm. "You can't leeeeave."
"Sirius," I said, pushing him off me. "I'll see you later."
I took my wizard chess board, my wand, the map, and the cloak and threw it in my rucksack.
"Hey," Sirius called out as I was about to head out the door. "If y-you're gonna ditch us for Evans y-you might as well get a good shag in, yeah?" he slurred.
"Sure, Sirius, whatever you say," I laughed, leaving the room.
"Knight to B7," she said proudly. Damn it she was good. She laughed as her knight smashed my bishop to pieces. "Check!"
"You're good," I said, scratching my head, trying to figure out how to protect my king.
"I know," she smiled, taking a bite of a cookie.
"Well, aren't you modest."
"Why, yes. Yes I am."
I rolled my eyes, smiling, looking at her instead of the board. We were sitting on the floor of the corridors, playing chess and eating snacks. The map was out next to us, and every now and then we'd lean over to see if anything was going on.
Her beautiful eyes caught mine, so I looked back down at the board, feeling my face heat up. I looked down at the pieces but wasn't really thinking about what I should do regarding the chess game.
"Well, take all day, why don't you," she said.
I made a face at her and then said, "Rook to B7."
"Oh, hell," she said, as my rook smashed her knight. "Didn't see that."
"Someone's slipping on their skills."
"Psh. No. I'm just going easy on you."
"Mhm."
"I am."
"Whatever you say."
"You're so irritating!"
"Ditto."
She groaned, taking a bite of a cookie angrily. I laughed. She stared at the board with intense concentration.
"Take all day, why don't you," I teased.
"Oh, hush, you git."
"Can't take what you dish out, eh, Evans?"
Suddenly, she had a sly smile on her face. She cracked her knuckles and then declared, "Queen to C5!"
"Shit," I murmured.
"Check!"
"You're a monster."
"I'm going to win," she sang.
"Yeah, yeah, we'll see," I smiled, trying to take my eyes off her glowing smile and look back down at the board.
I was contemplating on where to move my king when suddenly Lily spoke. "Hey, James."
"Sh!"
"No, wait, James. Look," she said. I looked up at her and she was pointing to the map. I leaned over and saw what she was pointing at. Mulciber, Avery, and Snape were not too far down the corner of the corridor, right outside of Jenkin's classroom.
I looked at her. "Should we…"
She grabbed my rucksack and took out the cloak. "Grab the map," she ordered as she stood up.
I obliged, taking the map and standing up as well.
"Come here," she said.
I raised an eyebrow and walked over to her. She pulled me close to her, causing my heart rate to speed up, throwing the cloak over the both of us. We looked at the map and started walking quietly towards them. We stayed at the corner so we were close enough to see and hear them.
"It's stronger than ever," Snape hissed.
"And it hurts like a fucker," said Mulciber, pulling on his left sleeve.
"He wants us to do something," said Snape again.
"I'm thinking it has to do with Mudbloods," said Avery. I looked at Lily, who was grimacing. "I mean, that seems to be what he's doing mostly now."
"Kill off the weak ones and then move on to the blood traitors," said Mulciber.
"So what's the plan?" asked Snivellus.
"Not sure yet," Avery said. "We're thinking something along the lines of Imperius-"
"Unforgivable curses? In school?" asked Snape.
"Have a problem with that?" asked Avery.
"No, I just…don't you think Dumbledore will catch us?"
"Ha! He's so daft he won't even catch on," said Mulciber.
"Mulciber, you're underestimating Dumbledore, I think," Snape said slowly.
They both glared at him, and then laughed. "You're an idiot, Severus," said Avery.
"Excuse me?"
"Dumbledore won't know a thing. We've got Jenkins on our side-"
Lily and I snapped our heads towards each other. So Jenkins was a Death Eater!
"-and if anything, we can just get him to put Dumbledore under the Imperius too. It won't be a problem."
What the fuck was wrong with these people? Anger was boiling inside me.
"So when are we actually going to formulate a proper plan?" Snape asked.
"Not sure. Whenever the Dark Lord tells Jenkins what he really wants," Mulciber said.
"Though," Avery started. "We could start with just using some curses or poisons on the Mudbloods in this damned school anyway. No harm, really. I'd love to get my hands on that Evans…sorry Snape, I know she was your girlfriend and all-"
"That Mudblood was never my girlfriend," Snape hissed.
"Still, don't know why you ever associated yourself with her. She's a fucking worthless-"
Lily was suddenly holding my hand tightly, and dragging me as she ran towards them. She punched Avery right in the face. He fell to the floor and cried out in pain.
"What the devil-" Mulciber started to say, when Lily kicked him in the bullocks. "Bloody fuck!"
I had to contain my laughter, and I looked at her face and she was holding it in too. She looked at me, raised her eyebrow, and motioned her head in Snape's direction.
We walked over to him. He was standing there, looking more baffled than ever.
We stood behind him and I took my wand out, letting it go under the cloak just for an instant so no one could see it. "One, two…" Lily mouthed.
And I did a nonverbal spell to make his pants fall to his ankles. I quickly put my wand back under the cloak and Lily and I were both covering our mouths to prevent ourselves from erupting with laughter when Snape turned around to see no one there, his face absolutely filled with mortification.
Snape cried out, pulling them back up quickly. Mulciber and Avery both got up and they all ran in the complete opposite direction. Lily and I, still hand in hand, ran back to where we were before. We watched the map and when they were completely gone and weren't able to hear us, we bursted into laughter. I threw the cloak off of us and we fell to the floor, hysterically laughing.
"The look on Snivellus's face!" I shouted, tears forming in my eyes from the laughter.
"Oh my god, that was priceless!" she laughed, gripping on my arm. "When I kicked Mulciber, oh man that was brilliant!"
"And you gave Avery a bloody nose!"
"He deserved it!" she shouted, still laughing. "I'm finally getting why you got so much enjoyment out of hexing those gits."
"So you approve now?"
"No!" she said, laughing more. "This was just a one time thing, but really, that was brilliant!"
I laughed with her, and the look on her face made my stomach turn over. Her hand fell from my arm to my hand. I was trying to catch my breath as I looked into her glossy green eyes. And all the sudden, all the words I've been hearing the past month were being replayed in my head.
You won't know if you don't tried.
You're not just mates.
She fancies you.
And I didn't know if what they were saying was true. Really, I didn't know. But looking at her now, I saw what I've always seen, but I truly saw it. The girl of my dreams, no matter how cliché it is. Lily Evans truly was intoxicating, and it wasn't the sip of alcohol I had before seeing her. It was the high she put me on. The way she looked, spoke, moved…She was so perfectly imperfect and everything I could have ever wished for. Funny and sweet and caring and stubborn and smart and genuine and full of life and unique and extraordinary and wonderful and more beautiful than anything I've ever seen.
I wasn't thinking logically. I was just thinking about how much I felt about this girl, that in that moment, logic did not matter at all. My hand already on hers, she was looking back at me with that breath-taking smile. Sitting on the floor, facing each other.
So I put my other hand on her cheek, closed my eyes, and kissed her.
Yeah.
At first, as I expected, she didn't react. I pressed my lips against hers, caressing her face, squeezing her hand, but she just sat there, still as stone. Once I realized that was it, I started to pull away. Right before my lips had the chance to leave hers, suddenly, she pulled on my collar and stopped the separation, crushing her lips against mine.
She kissed me back.
I responded back enthusiastically, taking my other hand off of hers and putting it to her other cheek. She continued pulling at my collar until she threw her arms around my neck. After a minute or so, tongues got involved. Her hands were moving through my hair, and then she placed them against my chest. I kept mine on her face and in her hair, keeping her as close to me as possible. It was hot and wet and sweet and slow and a million times more brilliant than I ever imagined all these years.
We must have been snogging for about five minutes when a few thoughts entered my brain really strongly. Why was she kissing me back? What was going on? Did she fancy me? I think she did. I could feel it in the kiss. I mean, she was Lily Evans. And she was snogging me. And as much as I wanted to keep kissing her…hell, I would snog the living daylights out of her forever if I could…I felt like I had to pull away and figure out what was going on here.
Because for once, I wanted this to really mean something, and I needed to know it did.
I slowly pulled away, almost regretting it the second I did. I dropped my hands from her face and a moment later she dropped her hands from my chest. I looked at her. Really looked at her. And she was looking back at me. Right in the eyes.
I had to tell her how I feel. I just had to.
"Lily," I said breathlessly. She looked down now, her face bright pink. "I…I need to tell you something."
"James-"
"It's important."
"I-I need to tell you something too…first," she said, looking up but avoiding looking at me right in the eyes.
"O-okay."
She took a deep breath. "I…you…We…That…"
I smiled at her hesitation.
We were silent for a few moments, and then she took another breath. "J-James, I…I'm sorry," she said, and then stumbled up and started rushing away.
"Lily!" I shouted, standing up. "Lily, wait!"
She ran out of sight. I wanted to run after her, but I physically couldn't. Maybe I was afraid of what she was going to say. But she had to feel something for me if she was snogging me like that.
Didn't she?
A/N: AHHHH. Are you feeling as uregfuycvbewu as I did while writing this? EEEK. OK, so the thing is the next month I'm gonna have a LOT going on with school ending and all, and this update was like, ridiculously fast, so don't get used to it :) - but I'm REALLY going to try to write the next one in a reasonable amount of time. I have big plans for the next chapter- so again, the more you review, the faster it'll come your way! :) I'm evil, aren't I? x