Healing indefinitely
Chapter 2.
Fenris got to Anders' clinic shortly, luckily there weren't any patients and Fenris put Hawke onto the table he often saw Anders treat other patients on. Gentle he lay her head down. "Mage!" Fenris yelled out, assuming Anders was in the small room he used to wash up in. Anders walked out and took one look at Hawke and rushed over, "What, what happened?" Anders asked, feverishly checking Hawke's pulse, pupils and wounds. "She was wounded by the Arishok." He paused, still coming to terms with what Hawke had done. "She's..." Anders sucked in his breath, "She's dying."
It felt like his whole stable world was crashing at that very minute, his heart wanting to burst from the immense pain and fear he felt. "No, no, no, no, no." He rushed over to his potions, he needed to do something fast. "She turned to blood magic." Fenris said, looking at Hawke and frowning. Anders stopped. She couldn't have. His blood began to boil. She shouldn't have. "AGH! I can't think of that right now, Fenris can you keep her head and upper body lifted up? I need to heal what I can before she bleeds out." Anders said, trying his best to keep his temper under control. "Why would I need to keep her up?" Fenris inquired. "Just do it, I don't have time for your petty questions." Fenris growled, but did so. Anders started healing her abdomen, closing the wound as best he could to prevent further blood loss and then moved over to her arm. He checked her pulse again.
Fenris looked at Anders, he looked pale. "What Mage?" He hissed. "It's... it's not working, her pulse keeps dropping, she's lost too much blood." Anders' voice shook, he needed to save her. Out of all the people who deserved to be saved, it was Hawke. "Mage, do something!" Fenris looked pained; he did not want Hawke to die, even though she made a deal with a demon, for power no less, most likely a pride demon, preying on her weakened state. "Save her!" Fenris mostly yelled at Anders. Anders felt Justice beneath his skin, it was an injustice for Hawke to die, Justice knew this, she helped people just as much as Anders did. If she died, a lot of good she could have done would never happen.
Anders pressed his hands to Hawke's abdomen. He surged out as much healing power as he could. She wasn't responding though. Justice roared in his ears. His skin cracked blue. "I will save you!" Anders boomed. Empowered by his own magic and that of Justice pulling directly from the fade. All Anders could think about was his adoration, his need for Hawke, perhaps even love for Hawke. This emotion, this turmoil overflowed out of him. He roared, his body igniting like lightning, uncaring about Fenris who seemed just as affected by Anders' magic, his brands shining, lighting up the room as much as Anders was. Anders' was over flowing; it felt as if he were being washed in tidal waves, throwing against him and into Hawke.
He felt her heart begin to beat faster. Triumph! He threw his last willed power of energy into Hawke one more time, blinding the room in his blue illuminating light, Fenris' brands almost as over powering in light as the blue cracking through Anders' body. Anders felt almost at peace. This was all he remembered thinking after he felt her body stabilize under is magic. He collapsed.
It was Varric and Isabella waiting at Hawke's bed side when she awoke. Hawke smiled at them, stretching her arms above her head. "Hey guys, what's with waiting for me to wake up and all?" Isabella just smiled at her and Varric sat forward giving Hawke a kind of a questioning smile. "Hawke, what's the last thing you remember?" Varric asked. Hawke looked perplexed and looked over to the side trying to remember anything that happened before she went to sleep. Her eyes shot up, "Oh yes! The Arishok! I defeated him and passed out." "You also lost a lot of blood too." Varric said. Hawke looked down, they knew what she did. Isabella went to sit on her bed with her, "Honey don't be down, we don't care what you did, I mean you're not possessed or anything." Hawke smiled up at Isabella.
"Though there is one thing." Isabella said and Hawke looked confused. "You almost died honey." Hawke looked taken back, "How? I mean I was exhausted after the fight and all, but I wasn't that bad." Varric shook his head, "Well Hawke, it seems you forget that you kind of need to keep your blood inside your body." He chuckled and Hawke didn't feel as tense as the situation had seemed to be. "Oh, yeah, I guess that may have slipped my mind with all the fighting and all."
Hawke looked down at the wounds she had gotten during the fight with the Arishok and was surprised to find no scars, "Did Anders heal my wounds that well? Considering how badly wounded you say I was." Isabella and Varric smiled at each other. "That is a short tale in itself." Varric said, leaning back in his chair he had placed at Hawke's bed side. "Really? I can't imagine watching Anders heal to be that interesting. Isabella giggled, "Honey, how about we get you some food first before we continue, even though you look surprisingly well for having just fought the Arishok a day ago." Isabella looked Hawke up and down and gave her a flirty wink. "No wander I'm starving! Ok, let's go." Hawke said as she winked back at Isabella as she made her way out of bed.
They went down to the market to buy some baked goods to take back to Hawke's place. Hawke was actually more surprised by how little bruised she felt or even stiff, in all honesty she felt terrific. She wondered whether or not this was because of Anders or that demon. She shook her head; she wasn't going to think of it. As they sat down again in Hawke's living room to nibble down the food they had bought and Varric took the part of the story teller. Not that he had much to say but he did take at least a half an hour to forty five minutes going through the bits he did know.
He explained that Isabella had rushed into the Hanged Man to fetch him right after they had sent Fenris with her to Anders. Once they had collected Varric they had rushed along with Aveline down to Ander's clinic. When they were close by they saw the clinic shooting out an enormous amount of light. Blue light to be exact and just as they had reached the door it had intensified that it had practically blinded them. Of course their eyes were fine and Hawke assumed that was due to Varric exaggerating on the light. Once they had regained their composure they entered to find Anders passed out on the floor, and Hawke being held by a very confused looking Fenris.
Fenris didn't want to explain what had happened; he just shook his and told them to hold Hawke's head up as he had been instructed by Anders. After that he left without saying anything further. They later had asked Anders what happened after he awoke and he said it must have been his infusion with Justice in healing Hawke that made the light, that and it may have been a bit intense and affected Fenris' brands too.
That explained a lot, Hawke thought. After that Isabella and Varric chatted about how obviously smitten Anders was to Hawke. Further on that topic Hawke didn't really concentrate on. She was thinking about Fenris. Although she was grateful to Anders for what he did for her, and she would thank him for it later, she was just preoccupied with thinking about Fenris right now. She knew he must hate her. He properly wasn't going to speak to her again, much less continue a relationship with her. She frowned to herself; she wasn't going to let that get her down. Looking up at Varric and Isabella chatting away, she knew she had people who accepted her for who she was, despite the controversial actions she made. She would talk to him anyway and try to clear things up, but not now. She will talk to him later on another day, talking to him now would only evoke his wrath on her.
Smiling again she told Varric and Isabella about a mission she had in mind to do for the time being.
When Anders had came to after healing and basically reviving Hawke from near death, he had been laying in his cot. He had the same feeling in his gut that he got when he usually woke up after having blacked out when Justice took over. Upon thinking back though he recalled everything that had happened, much to his surprise. Further he realized he and Justice were combined to do healing. Now that was new. Justice normally empowered only his offensive magic.
When he had left his tiny room he saw that the others were there, all but Fenris that is. He had been bombarded with questions, which consisted of the blue light from his clinic and Hawke's recovery. Needless to say when he saw Hawke she seemed perfectly fine and a quick once over, checking her vital signs, he saw that she really was. After answering their many questions, many of which he didn't even know the answer to and would properly plague him for quite a while he ushered them out to take Hawke home, saying to keep an eye on her.
All throughout the day and days there after he couldn't stop thinking about the incident. Had he really healed Hawke so well that she seemed as though she had never fought at all? Justice and he had never been so completely infused, so in sync that they did something like that. Was that really what they could achieve when they were both so determined? Could they possibly do more? Silly thoughts like that flicked in and out of his consciousness between cleaning and tending to patients.
Other things had bothered him as well. What did it do to Fenris that he had lit up almost as much as Anders did? Varric had said Fenris was confused when they saw him. To Anders' knowledge that wasn't a very common thing at least for the time he had been around Fenris. He would have assumed that Fenris would have been annoyed or even angry. He did use a lot of magic around him when he was healing Hawke, which he normally hissed at him for. Why was he confused?
Anders had sighed at the other plaguing thought. Hawke. She turned to blood magic? Was she crazy? He wouldn't have thought she would do such a thing, but considering Fenris' reaction to speaking of her, he knew Fenris wasn't one to joke. Why Hawke? He felt angry the more he thought about it. No matter what had happened she should not have done such a reckless thing. Dealing with demons was foolish. Perhaps it was Justice influencing this anger and thought to such, but it didn't matter. Whether or not it was him, Anders knew he would consider Hawke the same.
He tried to push his anger aside. Above everything else, he was disappointed with her. He did love her, but now? Now he would never be with her, even if she had a crazy idea to come to him. Her choice was made by what means she took action, he would tolerate it, but now he would put the thought of her aside. He could not be with someone who dealt with demon, and reassuringly he felt as though Justice agreed.
Fenris' time after the incident had been painful. He had gone straight to the mansion after leaving Hawke with the others. What he had experienced that day was beyond confusing and painful. He had entered the mansion and lunged at anything he could tear apart. So many things he didn't want to think about, kept flooding his thoughts, kept flooding him with memories. Fenris torn at an empty book shelf, vigorously tearing it with his gauntlet covered hands and shedding the wood. He growled as it did nothing to calm his thoughts, to distract him. He grimaced and went down to the cellar. Hawke, memories, and what Anders did to him. It kept spinning in his head.
He got several bottles of wine and made his way back to his room, the only room he stayed in, but not before throwing one of the wine bottles when he thought of Hawke before he got to the room. He put the bottles on the table and lit the fire in the fire place he had in the room. Perhaps the crackling would do some good, but he doubted it. He drank then, pacing and sitting, restlessly going over the day.
Hawke, dealing with demons and practicing blood magic. Out of all the things Hawke had done, he had never thought she would resort to that. It angered him, he thought he knew her. It hurt. He had been hurt before yes, physically and emotionally, but never like this. Never by someone he trusted. Hawke had turned to blood magic and she didn't even consider the consequences. She almost died, and for what? To defeat an opponent? For power? She had cut herself and almost bled to death because of resorting to blood magic. He gritted his teeth and growled. He wasn't going to think about Hawke, he would rather think about something he could actually cope with right now.
When Anders had healed Hawke, what it did to him. It had never happened before, at least, not as such. Fenris put his hand to his temples on his head. At first it confused him and even after he was at a loss for what exactly he had just experienced. It had happened before, with Hawke, that one night they had spent together and he had recalled his memories of his past self. When Anders was healing Hawke, he remembered feeling as though all his flesh was feeling a soothing warmth, this warmth felt as though it leaked into his mind and just as that happened, he remembered.
Fenris didn't know what was happening at that instant, a blur of memories flooded him. He realized though that it was his own, his past. How could Anders' magic do this? Why did this happen while healing Hawke, where it had never done as such before. Fenris knew not of how though, but he knew why. It was because of Justice.
He knew only of demons that hurt and empowered mages to the extent of their offence abilities. Used as a means to kill and torture others. He knew that Anders alone wouldn't have been able to heal Hawke to the extent that he did. The perplexing thing was that Justice was there, empowering his healing. Was Justice a really demon as he had thought? Was this an accident or did his memories return so that the demon could latch onto something of his to use against him later? He did not think Anders knew about what happened, if he wanted answers he would have to ask the mage. For now though, he was going to need a lot more wine.