A/N: Whoa, quick update, right? It's because of this dumb hurricane Sandy- I've had nothing to do but write :) This chapter is probably the shortest one, but it's a reallllly important one and thought ending it where I ended it was the right thing to do. The next chapter will be longer. I REALLY hope you like it- and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. Yaaay. :) Enjoy!

(JAMES'S P.O.V.)

I thought all of this was supposed to be easy. And Lily just makes everything so bloody difficult.

I pretended I wasn't, but I was pissed off last night after Lily took back her "I love you." You can't just take something like that back!

I could barely sleep last night because it bothered me so much. So I was all agitated this morning and I got dressed and went down to breakfast myself. I started to finish up some Arithmancy homework I never got to while I ate some cereal, though it was hard to focus when I just kept replaying what happened with Lily last night in my head.

Eventually, Sirius, Remus and Peter all came down. I told them last night what happened and they knew I was ticked off so they didn't really say much to me, excluding when Peter asked, "Are you going to talk to Lily about it today?"

To which I replied, "Yeah, I think I will, but not right away. I'm too angry to."

I thought that maybe seeing her though would make me less angry, except she never came down to breakfast. She didn't come to Potions, either. Or Defense. Or lunch. Or Herbology. And she wasn't in my Arithmany class, so I had no way of knowing whether she went to Runes or not.

Then classes were over, and I started to worry. Was she hiding from me? Was she even in school? Was she sick?

I pulled out the map and unrevealed it, and searched for Lily's name. It wasn't there.

I went to the Great Hall for dinner and sat next to Peter.

"Lily's gone."

"What?" they all asked in unison.

"Lily," I said. "Her name…it's not on the map."

Sirius took it out of my hands and he and Remus searched it.

"You're right," Sirius said.

"Maybe she's in the Room of Requirement?" Peter suggested.

"All day?" I asked.

"He could be right," Remus said, scratching his head. "This is so strange…"

"She hasn't been here all day…" I said slowly. I started to get really worried.

"Why don't you ask June and Delia where she is?" Remus said, jerking his head to the entrance, where they were both walking in through.

"Yeah…yeah, all right," I said, getting up and walking towards them.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," they both responded.

"Do you have any idea where Lily is?"

"No clue, we thought this morning she might have ran off somewhere with you," said Delia. "She disappeared last night."

"What do you mean last night?" I asked. "I was with her last night."

"Right after she came back to the room," June answered. "She was back for maybe five minutes and then there was a knock on the door and she just said she had to go and left."

"But the only person it could have been is Professor McGonagall anyway, right?" said Delia. "Only the Head of House can get in…"

"But it wouldn't be Head Duties, right? Or she would have gotten James as well," June said.

We all looked at each other, and I think we all thought the same thing, because then suddenly, we were all running towards the staff table.

"Professor McGonagall!" I called out, breathing heavily once we got there.

I expected her to yell at us for acting so absurd, but she didn't. "Potter, Greyson, Carter…A word, please?"

We followed Professor McGonagall out of the Great Hall into the corridor.

"I am afraid that Mr. Evans passed away last night in his hospital bed. Ms. Evans went home for the funeral and to be with her family. She should be back by late Thursday night, I presume. I'm sorry she couldn't tell you herself."

I felt a great big lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach. Mr. Evans. Dead. He was such a kind man.

Lily must be heartbroken.

And here I am, being a total wanker over the dumbest thing in the world, that does not even matter remotely to what Lily must be going through right now.

I would I could be there for her. I wish I could be by her side, to hold her, kiss her, tell her I love her, let her cry, help her fall asleep…

But I couldn't. Besides, she probably wanted to be with her family right now. They need her. She needs them.

She'll be fine without me.

She's strong. She'll get through this, I hope.

I felt grief for her and her family. It was such a shame. He seemed fine when I met him just a few weeks ago…and Lily said he'd been doing all right…

I walked back to the table in a daze. Sirius noticed right away something was up and I told them. They all felt really bad about it, as did I. We ate the rest of our dinner in silence.

The next couple of days were pretty sullen. We had Quidditch Practice Tuesday and Wednesday night so that helped me get my mind off things a bit. I actually paid attention in class so I could take notes for both me and Lily so that she wouldn't have to make them all up herself. I spent more time with the guys than I have in a while, so that was good, though Sirius wasn't always around since he was usually off doing whatever with Carly somewhere. They caught me up on Peter's recent snog buddy from Hufflepuff, Helen Finlay, who is actually not too bad looking. Remus and I had a good conversation about the whole Delia thing, and I think he's finally moving on, thank Merlin. I mean, Delia is a great girl, but they just wouldn't work out. The three of them promised me Lily would come around eventually with this whole "I love you" thing, though I found it hard to believe. Besides, it wasn't so important right now anyway. I was just hoping Lily was doing okay.

On Thursday night, I decided I'd wait up for Lily. She was supposed to come back tonight anyway. I stayed on the Common Room couch. The marauders hung out with me most of the night, but by midnight they went upstairs to sleep. I did an essay for McGonagall, a paragraph for Jenkins, and then, with nothing left to do, read the Prophet for the billionth time today, to see if I missed any deaths I might know.

It was three in the morning when Lily walked in through the portrait hole.

I sat up and looked at her carefully. Her hair was down and in her face. She was wearing a gray jumper and some old black worn-out trousers. Her face was pale, and she looked tired beyond belief.

"James?" she said quietly.

"Lily," I said back.

She looked at me curiously, and then walked over to me. "You…why are you down here?"

I put a hand in my hair. "I wanted to, er, wait for you. To see if you were okay."

"You…" she whispered, trembling almost. "You waited up for me?"

"Of course," I replied.

She looked at me for a moment and then sat down next to me, and quickly wrapped her arms around me with all her strength. I hugged her back, breathing her in. God, I missed her. I kissed the side of her face and continued hugging her, rubbing one of my hands up and down her back, trying to soothe her. She was shaking a bit.

She started to loosen her grip so I let go too and we pulled apart from each other. We looked into each other's eyes. Hers were filled with tears. She put a hand on my cheek, and then she said, "I love you."

"Lily…" I whispered. She couldn't be saying this now. She didn't mean it. She was upset.

"James," she said in a firmer voice. "I love you. And I mean it. Don't tell me I don't. I do."

She took my hand and squeezed it tight. "Lily, you-"

"It's not because I'm upset," she said, responding to what I was going to say before I said it. "I was an idiot the other night. Of course I meant it. Of course I love you. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry."

"Sh," I stopped her, wiping away a tear trickling down her face. "Don't cry. It's okay."

"It's not okay," she said, shaking again. "I…I realized something this week. I was at home, and the only person I wanted beside me was you. When Professor McGonagall came to my door, I wanted you to leave with me. I wanted you there to be with, to talk to, to cry to, to try to make me feel like the world wasn't over. And that's what it felt like- like the world was over. And I knew if you were there, it would feel a little better. And you weren't. And it was killing me, James. I needed you."

"I-I'm so sorry, Lily," was all I said.

"And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was such an idiot, James. I've loved you for ages. And I was too scared to admit it to myself. And you…you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just…I couldn't say it. Everyone I love seems to leave me somehow. Petunia and I don't talk, and she hates me. My best friend is working for the side trying to kill people like me. My father just died. And now my Mum won't even talk to me, this is killing her so much. And all these people, out there dying… All of those names we see in the paper… What if one day it's you? And then I lose someone else I love so much? The person I…I love the most? That's what scares the hell out of me. It's like, once I accepted it and said it…you were more likely to lose. And I can't lose you, James. Not you."

She was sobbing now, and I kept wiping away her tears. Merlin, I loved her so much. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. I wanted to make it all better, but I couldn't. I felt my own eyes start to water.

I put my hands on both her cheeks. "Lily, you listen to me. You're not losing me. I'm not going anywhere. I swear, I promise."

"You can't just promise things like that."

"I can promise whatever the hell I want to promise. I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you. We're together, always. You and me. Wherever you go…don't go without me. And I won't go without you. I'm never going to leave you. You got that?"

She nodded, tears pouring down her face.

"I love you, Lily," I told her.

"I love you too, James. So much," she whispered back, and I could feel her mean it, and then we both leaned in at the same time and kissed passionately, like we never kissed before. So much urgency and passion and need, yet somehow tender.

I pulled away, thinking she would probably want to sleep now, seeing as how late it was. But she pulled my face back to hers immediately, and without questioning her, I kissed her back wholeheartedly. We just snogged for quite some time, but eventually Lily's hands started undoing the buttons of my shirt. I did not protest as she took it off me. Her hands wandered around my body and mine around hers, and I could not help my body's reaction to it. I was cautious though, but Lily took my hands and pulled on the hem of her jumper, gesturing me to take it off of her. I obliged, and Lily seemed to have no problem with my hands (and lips) wandering over her bare skin and over (and under) her bra.

At some point, Lily started to undo my belt buckle. That's when I pulled away.

"Lil, we…"

"Don't…don't you want to?" she asked me nervously. And just by the way she asked the question, I knew she meant more than what we usually did, er, below the waist. I knew she meant the real thing.

"I mean…Lily, of course, I do, you know that. I just…I don't know if you want to."

"What…what do you mean?"

"Love, you're upset, and tired, and you…you aren't thinking straight. I don't want you to regret it."

She leaned in and kissed me for a moment. "I'm not going to regret it, James. I love you. And I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't want to, you know that."

"O-Okay," I said.

She pecked my lips. "One second," she said. She got up and took her wand out, and started muttering spells. Muffliato, to block out any noise, and then a spell on herself, which I could only assume was a contraceptive charm.

She placed herself back on my lap facing me and murmured, "Okay," and then continued to kiss me, and we picked up from where we left off.

We were both nervous. But we took it slow. I think we relaxed each other.

We made love twice that night. The second time was better, obviously, because we were more comfortable, and though I had already done this before, Lily hadn't so it was easier for her the second time. Also, I think it hurt her a bit the first time, but the second time she said was a lot better, and I could tell, too. And, well…it was brilliant. Really. Maybe it was just because it was Lily, and she makes everything brilliant, but really…it was. We lied down entangled in each other for a while until Lily decided she wanted to talk about her Dad, and we put our clothes back on and sat there on the couch. Lily told me everything since she left, about how her Dad's heart just failed while he was sleeping, so at least he passed away without any pain. She told me about the funeral, and how Petunia still pretty much ignored her, and how her Mum refused to speak to anyone, and how she hasn't slept at all. When she was done, she started crying really hard again, and I wrapped her up in my arms and let her cry against my chest, while I tried to soothe her. She eventually fell asleep, and I summoned my Gryffindor blanket from the room and wrapped her in it, keeping her against me. I took off the muffliato spell, since people were probably getting up soon.

I eventually fell asleep too, but it wasn't for long. I woke up to Sirius's voice saying, "Mate, it's time for breakfast."

I opened my eyes and saw that Lily was still cradled against me. Remus and Peter were heading out of the common room.

"She all right?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, just…worn out. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay," he said, and left. Once most people went down for breakfast, I picked up Lily and brought her upstairs to my room. I kicked open my door and brought her to my bed, covering her with the quilts. I took a quick shower and threw on my uniform. Before I left the room I gave her a peck on the lips. She didn't stir. She looked somewhat peaceful, so I took that as a good sign. God, she was beautiful, even asleep.

I got to breakfast for the last ten minutes and sat with the guys.

"Is Lily all right?" Peter asked.

"When did she get in?" Remus asked.

"She's fine. And late," I responded, taking a bite of a muffin. "'Round three."

Sirius said nothing, just stared at me from across the table suspiciously. All right, then

"She's tired though," I told them. "She said she got no sleep at home. I brought her up to our room and put her in my bed, if you don't mind. I didn't want to wake her up."

"It's fine," both Remus and Peter said.

"I feel so bad," said Remus.

"Me too," said Peter.

"Yeah," I sighed, taking a sip of my pumpkin juice

Sirius continued to look at me, and then he leaned over the table and whispered, "So, how was the shag?"

I almost choked on my pumpkin juice.

"Excuse me?" I coughed.

"It's written all over your face!" Sirius said, laughing. "So, how was it? Was she good? How many times did you do it?"

"Sirius!" Remus said, grimacing.

Peter chuckled.

"Sirius, I don't know-"

"Oh, cut the bullshit, James. Just tell us!"

"Why would I tell you anyway?"

"Cause we're your best mates?"

"So?"

"So?" Sirius said. "So? Is it not best mate code to tell your best mates about milestones in your life like this? You finally shagged the girl of your dreams! Now tell us about it, will you? Answer my questions!"

"All right, fine!" I shouted. Then I lowered my voice. "Fine, we had sex. It was bloody fantastic, and so was she, and we did it twice! Happy?"

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "Ecstatic. She was actually good? Even for a first timer?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah."

"Hmm…" he said. "I always knew she would be good in the sack."

"How about you don't think about my girlfriend in the sack, or in anywhere else for that matter, thanks. You've got your own."

"Hey, just because I got my own doesn't mean I can't think about others every now and then. I'm still a man- lots of testosterone. Can't help the fantasies," Sirius smirked. "Anyway, you two won't be able to stop now once you've started."

"I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable," said Remus.

"I second that," said Peter.

"That's not true," I answered to Sirius's remark. "Besides, even if it is, that's not what's important. She…she told me she loved me. That's kind of how we, er, well, ended up doing it. But she really meant it this time. We had this whole conversation and everything."

"That's great James!" Remus said, slapping my back. "I told you she'd come around."

"Knew it all along, mate," said Peter.

"Eh, she only said it because she wanted to shag you," said Sirius.

"Not funny, Padfoot," I said.

"I'm kidding," he said, smiling. "Partially."

"You're a prat."

"You love me."

"I can't stand you, actually."

"Oh, bite me," Sirius said.

"I think Sirius is jealous that James is shagging Lily instead of him," Peter said.

"You're hilarious, Wormtail," said Sirius sarcastically, hitting him in the back of the head.

"So I've been told," Peter responded, rubbing his head as we got up to go to class.

I told June and Delia that Lily got back really late last night and fell asleep on the couch so I brought her to my room and that she's all right. They were relieved that she was back and asleep. They told me whenever she's nervous or upset she never sleeps, which made sense since she hadn't slept at all these past few days. They told me to let her sleep, which was what I was planning on doing.

After classes, I went up to my room to check on her. I didn't want to disturb her, but I was thinking about her all day. How could I not, especially after last night. I walked in and threw off my tie, and saw her still in bed, sound asleep. I closed the door and though I thought I did it quietly, I guess I didn't, because it woke Lily up.

"James?" I heard her ask quietly.

Blimey. Can't believe I did that.

I walked to the bed and sat down next to her. "Hey, love."

"What…what time is it?"

I looked at my watch. "3:30pm."

"3:30?" she asked, eyes widening. "I…I missed all my classes? Oh my God, why did-"

"Relax," I said softly, moving some hair out of her face. "I talked to McGonagall. You didn't have to go to class today anyway. Any essay we had you don't have to do. And I've been taking notes for you- and actually paying attention! Well…mostly. Besides, you're ahead of everything we've been learning anyway."

"You…you didn't have to," she responded.

"Sh," I said. "Go back to sleep, love. You're tired."

"How did I get up here?" she asked. "We were on the couch…"

"I carried you, genius. It's all part of the Prince Charming deal, you know."

She sighed and gave me a loving look. "Oh, James...you're too sweet.

"I know. I'm a softy. It's destroying my manliness."

She rolled her eyes and stretched up a bit and kissed me. "I love you," she said softly. My heart stopped.

"You're all right too, I guess," I smiled, and leaned in and kissed her again. After a few moments, I pulled away. "Go back to sleep."

"I don't want to sleep."

"Fine, then. What do you want to do?"

"Eat," she answered. "Food sounds good right about now."

I chuckled. "Why don't you go change and then we'll go to the kitchens. Dinner still isn't for a few hours."

"Sounds good," she said, kissing me again, and then getting up.

We got off the bed, and I took her hand. "Lily, listen," I started, taking a breath. "About last night…"

Lily rolled her eyes and reached up and started kissing me again. When she let go, she said, "I told you I wouldn't regret it, and I don't."

"R-Really?" I asked nervously.

"Unless you regret it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course I don't," I responded immediately. "You were perfect."

She laughed. "Okay, sure."

"Really!"

"I had no bloody idea what I was doing!"

"So?"

"So! You've done it before, I haven't. I was probably a mess."

"No you were not," I said, rolling my eyes. "If you were maybe I wouldn't have been thinking about it every bloody second of today since I woke up."

She raised her eyebrows, biting her lip. "Really, now."

"Really," I said, feeling a bit embarrassed that I said that aloud now.

"Good to know," she said, grinning.

"I'm glad that you're smiling," I said.

"Me too," she said. "Thank you. It's only because I'm with you."

"I'd do anything to see that smile of yours."

"How cliché."

"It's true!"

"Oh, come on. How many times have you used that one before?"

"Probably only around three times. I don't think that's too bad."

"Okay, James," she said, laughing.

I pulled her close to me. "I love you, Lily," I said seriously. "I'm sorry about your Dad. Really, I'm so, so sorry. He was a great man. And he loved you. And he's watching over you. And I'm always here if you want to talk about it. Or cry. Or anything. I know how hard it is. I just want you to be happy, because you deserve to be."

She smiled wearily, her eyes a bit wet. "Stop that," she whispered.

"What?"

"Don't say things like that to me. Stop being so perfect," she said, still smiling.

"Well, I can't help that one," I said jokingly.

She sniggered, quickly wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "I love you too, by the way."

"And you're sure?"

"Yes," she said, drawing her face nearer to mine. "Positive." And then we were kissing again, and I held her tight, tasting her lips and her tongue, letting myself take her in, Lily Evans.

We parted eventually, both breathing heavily.

"Food," she reminded me, smiling a bit.

"Right," I said, laughing. "Food. Let's get some."

"Yay," she said, taking my hand, and off we went.

A/N: ;) REVIEW PLEASE! The more reviews the quicker I update! :)