Chapter 5

Expect me tonight.

Where? When? Are these details not classed as important to her?

I waited for her in the common room for hours but then reminded myself that she's not worth it (even though she is - for fuck sake Draco!) so gave up and went to bed. It's 3 a.m. now and I can't sleep. I'm thinking about her and her touch and her scent and how good it feels when she digs her nails into my skin and when she kissed me like she did only a couple of weeks ago.

And now I'm alone.

After a while I realise I'm not the only one in the room. All the boys in my year went home for the holiday but me. The room should be empty.

I light my wand and shine it around the room for a closer look.

"You won't be needing that" says a voice.

I turn around to see Skye casually sitting on the edge of my bed, still in her uniform while I'm only in my pyjama bottoms. She stands up and takes my wand out of my hands making me unable to protect myself. Hopefully there will be no need for me to.

"You came." I say.

"I did say I was coming" she says. I smile as she locks the door with my wand before placing it on the table.

"How did you get in?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I'm sneaky"

I look at her for a moment before saying "are you still angry?"

"yes." crap. "But I've learnt to control that."

I grin at her in the darkness before bringing arms around her. "So what are you here for then?"

She sighs and begins stroking my bare chest absentmindedly and I have to lift her chin with my hand to get her to look at me.

I've heard the rumours that she's been getting into trouble and been feeling really down recently but I didn't realise it was this bad. There's no fire in her eyes, no spark and it makes me sad.

But only for a second.

She can be miserable all she likes - I don't care.

(But you do)

Why can't my brain shut up?!

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Skye's lips crashing against mine while she runs her fingers through my hair and I know that she's not feeling as strong as she felt last time. Maybe she won't protest if I decide to take control.

I move my hand up to her waist and push her down onto my bed. Like I thought, she doesn't oblige. She lets go of my lips to catch her breath and I use this opportunity to claim her neck with my teeth, biting her shoulder and her ear a little harder than necessary. The feel of her hands against my skin brings shivers to my spine and I find myself wondering when she'll be ready. I should do it anyway, I don't care about her (but I do) so what does it matter?

Skye brings her leg up over my back and forces my crotch against her and I know she can feel me and I'm not sure how she's feeling or if she's scared but she's a little whore that's what she is (that's what she isn't) and she deserves to be scared (she doesn't).

Serves her right for slapping me.

And before I've properly thought about it, my hand is working its way up her skirt and brushing the fabric between her delicate skin and my fingertips and she doesn't like it but I'm doing it anyway. And I keep doing it and she's pulling at my hair and I hear a light moan escape her lips and I look at her and I realise that she's moaning not out of pleasure but because she's trying not to cry.

But I don't stop (even though you should).

And I press my chest closer to hers so I can feel her ragged breathing. I can feel that she's scared but I don't stop (stop it, Draco) and I don't feel guilty (you do! You feel like a monster). And I'm not looking at her face anymore because she looks too sad and it's harder to keep going when she looks so sad.

And it suddenly hits me.

Is this rape?

But of course it isn't (you know it is)! She came into my room and she kissed me and she's not pushing me away. She's not asking me to stop.

But she's not enjoying it either.

And I stop. And I think, what are you doing to her? And I think, who are you? Why are you doing this?

And I move my hand away and I begin to stroke her arm gently, trying to soothe her because I know I don't care about her (you do) but it doesn't mean I can still do this to her.

"Why did you stop?" She whispers after a few seconds.

I sit up on the bed and she sits up next to me. "You wanted me to"

"No"

"Yes you did." I say.

"No, I didn't." She replies, regaining her confidence. "I like it."

"You don't."

She doesn't even bother to argue back this time, she just pins me to the bed instead and begins kissing me and I let her because there's nothing else for it, really. And I don't even stop her when she starts taking off her jumper or when she asks me to touch her again. And I can't lie and say I hate everything that's happening right now because I don't. Because she's sitting against me and I can see her face growing hot and I can hear a sigh from the pit of her as I whisper her name into her hair and I know that making her stop would quite frankly displease both of us (but it would be the right thing to do) and I'd rather not do that.

(Even though it's killing you to see her this way).

It's around noon when I wake up and the dormitory is bright and empty like I usually find it on a Saturday. I'm always last to wake up but I'm never usually this late. I groan as I sit up and push my duvet away from me and see that I'm still wearing my school skirt and knickers on my bottom half but only my bra on the top. I must've dropped everything and fallen straight to sleep when I got back last night.

Last night.

I'm not sure what to say about that. I've never felt more... needed. I know I wasn't needed - he could've had any girl do that for him. Any other girl would of shagged him right there and then but I drew the line. The second he tried to get past the thin fabric of my knickers, I was up and out of there.

At least I have some self-respect left.

I can't tell anybody about it though because it would only ruin my reputation more. I'm already hated by almost everyone.

I finally get up and find my shirt and jumper at the foot of my bed. No tie. I'll just have to sneak in there and get it later.

I strip down all my clothes while I wait for the shower to get hot and see that my knickers are still quite damp...

I notice I have quite a few marks on my body and I'm positive they weren't there yesterday. Not only are there love bites on my neck but on my shoulder and ear as well! I also notice bruises on my waist and legs and there's pain in my hips from being banged against Malfoy's-

I think I'm going to be sick.