Chapter 8

"You can't hide from me forever." I whisper, making Skye drop the book she was holding. She picks it up and takes a hasty step away from me. I guess you could say that we're not as friendly in public.

"Who said I was hiding?" She says.

"Well," I begin, "you've been avoiding me in the day time and the only time I see you is in our little meetings-"

"Ssh!

"-and you didn't come last night. Not after I wouldn't have sex with you the night before." I finish in a whisper.

I lean against the bookshelf in the library and watch as she tries to figure out what to say. I can't help but notice how beautiful she looks with her hair down and I desperately want to brush away the hair from her face but I restrain myself.

Come on, Draco, she's not that pretty (she's stunning) so what's the big deal?

"I just don't think we should see each other in public..." she mumbles.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because... well... everyone thinks we hate each other and we're not really acting like we do."

"I don't hate you." I whisper.

"Yes you do."

"No. You've always hated me. In second year I hated you and in third year you still pissed me off but after fourth year, I-" I stop mid-sentence. I can't let her hear all of this! What would she think of me?! She'd think I've gone soft or something.

"You what?"

"I have to go now." And I turn and leave the library and as soon as I've left I sprint down the corridor.

"Wait!" I go after him and am about to leave the library when I feel a hand grip my shoulder. I turn to see Michael smiling at me. I've done so well at avoiding him and now, the one day I decide to leave the dungeons, he's here.

"Skye, I've been trying to talk to you for weeks!" He says.

"Yeah, well I've been avoiding you for weeks." I snap.

"I kind of figured that out. Please, just talk to me so I can go home for Christmas. I've been waiting for so long!" He begs.

"I can't. Not now I have to..." I begin.

"What? Go after Malfoy? What's going on with you two? You've stopped talking and when you do talk you're all secretive about everything. And Lucy said you've been leaving your bed for the past couple of nights and coming back really early. Yeah, somebody noticed. So don't pretend nothing's going on because I know something is and I will find out!" He yells, earning himself an icy glare from the librarian.

"You don't know anything!" I say, my voice going wobbly.

"I know that you've been sleeping with Malfoy."

My face falls and I can feel tears brimming.

"Stop it, stop crying! He says harshly.

"I don't cry."

"Well, you almost did." I push him away and run out of the library and keep running until I get to the seventh floor and luckily, there are the large oak doors to the room of requirement.

I nervously open them and there in the centre of the room is a beanbag. Just one. The room has transformed itself into a door less room with countless large windows and lanterns glowing in the semi-darkness and it's very calm and peaceful because I asked this room to transform into somewhere I can think.

I take a deep breath and collapse onto the giant beanbag and I can't stop myself anymore. I don't know who I am anymore and I'm more alone than I've ever been in my life so I cry.

There's one thing everybody knows about Skye Brogan and it's that she doesn't cry. Ever. And I haven't cried for years and years and now that I've started I don't think I can stop. Not ever. Because everything's gone wrong again all so quickly. It was never right in the first place really because I was always a fake, a bitch, a fake plastic bitch and that's not me but if that's not who I am then who am I? Seriously. I don't even know who I am or where come from and I can't even name a single person who I definitely loves me. Not one. So I cry and I cry and I don't stop until I fall asleep. Alone. As usual.

I can't sleep. I'm so tired but I can't sleep because I'm thinking about her again and wondering what would have happened if I'd revealed my feelings to her back in the library. How would she have felt? But now I don't know. All I know is that it's Christmas Eve and I'm not happy and she's not happy and I have to find her because she deserves to be happy. More than anyone.

I don't know where I'm going just that I'm running and my feet are taking me there but I don't know where 'there' is. There are too many staircases and corridors and classrooms and Skye could be anywhere. I know it was only a few minutes ago I asked Lucy if Skye was in her bed but wherever she went she could be back by now, safe and sound.

I round a corner and find myself on the seventh floor. There's no use, I think, she could be anywhere. I'm tired (but not too tired to keep going). That's right. I must keep going. And as I run down the corridor I try to organise my thoughts but there's nowhere to think in peace. And I'm thinking, I need to think, I need a place to think; and as if by magic (we'll, I am in Hogwarts) a large oak door appears out of nowhere. I've never noticed it before but it's definitely here. I'm not imagining.

Skye has to be somewhere and just as I needed to find her most, this door appeared so maybe it will help me find her?

Only one way to find out.

I open the door to reveal a large circular room with windows and candles floating high by the ceiling. In the centre of the room is Skye, sleeping on a green beanbag. But she's not peaceful. Every now and again she lets out a little whimper or a tear runs down her cheek.

Slowly, I make my way towards her and place a light hand on her shoulder to comfort her but it doesn't do that. Instead she coils away and lets out a louder yelp before dissolving into tear again.

"Skye! Wake up!" I whisper.

She continues to cry.

"Skye! Skye, wake up, you're having a nightmare!" I touch her arm again and shake her gently, "Skye!"

As soon as her eyes open, she's pushing me away, trying to escape my touch.

"Skye..."

Slowly she calms down but still won't let me touch her. Never mind. (Draco, you care about her).

I don't.

(You do)

I don't. Okay, fine. I won't hold it in anymore. I do care about Skye. I have done for a long time and I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything is alright. But she doesn't want me. She never has.

"What are you doing here?" She says.

"I came looking for you. This room brought me to you and well... here I am." I smile nervously.

"Leave."

"I can't."

"Please"

"No. You're upset" I stretch my hand out towards her, "and I want to be here for you."

"I'm fine." She whispers, turning away from me.

I sigh and turn her around so she's facing me and I carefully reach out and wipe away the last of her tears. "You were crying"

"I don't cry." She says simply.

"Ever?" I ask. I thought everyone cries. I know I do.

"No." She says.

"Well, you were." I touch her face and trace the black marks streaking out from beneath her eyes. "Why this?"

"Why what?"

I hold out my finger to show the black liquid. "Make-up?"

She nods.

"You don't need this." I smile.

"I do" she frowns.

I shake my head and laugh. "You don't understand, Skye. You're beautiful."

"You don't mean that." She says with piercing eyes. "You're lying."

"Honestly. To me you are the most beautiful thing that has been placed on this earth and I'm done being mean to you just to cover up my real feelings for you." I look away, shy and embarrassed of what I've just said but I'm not taking it back. I'm done hiding and lying to everyone, myself included.

"Don't say that. Please." She begs.

"Why?" That was not the response I was anticipating.

"Because it just makes everything worse if that's true. Because if that's how you feel about me then it means everything I've ever known is changing." She explains. "This can't be real."

"I don't understand."

"Well of course you don't!" She shouts frustrated. "Nobody understands! Nobody fucking understands what it's like to be me and to live my life and cope with my problems!"

"I know I don't understand." I say gently, trying not to let my anger pour over her, "but if you explained to me then maybe I could understand and maybe I could help you and make you feel better."

"You still wouldn't get it."

"It never hurts to try..." I smile encouragingly at her and we sit down together and she begins to tell me her story.