Chapter 11

Carly stood by the railing and looked out on the city instead of at Jason.

He said, "How have you been?"

"I've had better weeks. What about you?"

"The apartment is too quiet."

"Bring the kids over for a day. That will solve that problem."

"Or you could move back in."

Carly looked at him. "The two years are up. Why would I do that?"

Jason said, "We are more than that marriage certificate. Aren't we?"

She looked away again.

His face fell into a sad expression filled with loss.

"I bet you never thought I would be the one breaking up with you." Carly said

He felt his body grow cold. His words were desperate when he said, "Is that what you're doing?"

She heard the pain in his voice and turned to face him. "No."

She waited for him to say something. But he didn't.

She grew frustrated and said, "If you want to still sleep together I doubt I would have the strength to say no . You don't have to be married to me to get into my bed though. We both know how easy I am."

"Don't talk about yourself that way, Carly."

"Isn't that what you want? You want a divorce but we can still be ... whatever the hell we are."

"Best friends."

"Is that all, Jase?"

He moved closer to her. His voice dropped. He said, "You know I love being with you."

She longed to say, But do you love me? Love me in a forever kind of way?

She whispered, "I love being with you, too."

"So come home." he said softly

Then his lips were on hers.

She pushed him away and took a step back. It felt like part of her soul was being ripped out of her to do it but she couldn't stay with him not knowing if he wanted her as real wife or just for now, for as long as it was fun.

Carly said, "Why didn't you throw away those divorce papers as soon as they arrived?"

Jason looked down.

She said, "Were you planning on giving them to me?"

"No. I hadn't planned anything. I didn't keep them because I wanted to hurt you. The divorce was just a technicality. We agreed on two years so..."

"That was before! We are in this now. We're so good together. You made my boys happy and me... you made me feel... everything was finally working out. How could you even think about divorce? How, Jase?"

He said, in a rush of words, "I don't want a divorce, Carly."

She froze. There eyes locked, shooting painful looks at each other.

She asked simply, "Why?"

He opened his mouth but no words came out. He let out a breath.

She repeated, "Why?"

"I don't want to lose you."

She had wanted to hear I love you. Only I love you would have been good enough.

"You could never lose me." she said. He moved closer. She asked, "But you still think we should divorce, right?"

Jason said, "Not if it will hurt you. For me I think we can be happy without staying in this marriage of convenience."

Carly closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them she said, "I loved being your wife. But I think your right. If our marriage isn't real in your mind, we should divorce."

She walked past him and headed for the elevator.

Jason followed her and found her pushing the button.

"I said we can stay married!" he whispered, aware of all the people standing nearby.

"Big of you." Carly said

"I know I said it wrong. I'm not good at this stuff, Carly. You know that. Just don't end ... everything we have just because I don't know the right words you want to hear."

The elevator opened and she stepped on it. She turned and looked at him. She held the door open with one hand. "All I wanted to hear was' I love you, Carly, and I want to stay with you for the rest of my life.' "

He said, "I-"

She held up a hand. "It doesn't mean anything if I have to tell you what to say."

He tried to step onto the elevator.

She screamed, "Don't!"

He stopped and whispered, "Don't end us, Carly. Come on."

Without enthusiasm she said, "We can still date Jason. That should be fun. Call me sometime."

Then she let the elevator door close. When she was alone she slid to the floor and cried.

Jason pounded the button to bring the elevator back, then turned and headed for the stairs instead.

He had to get up to her room and figure out the right sequence of words to rewind time. All those times Carly tried to do that, he had told her it was useless.

But it couldn't be. There had to be a way.

His cell phone rang. "What?"

"I need you to get over here. Now," Sonny said

"Can't." Jason was taking the stairs two at a time.

"Alcazar aligned himself with the Torres family from Mexico City. They flew in a crew tonight."

Jason stopped. He said, "Call up all our men. Have Stan vet the hired guns they have, see what we are up against. I'll be over later."

"Later?" Sonny sounded incredulous "I have my wife and kids here, Jase. You wait to handle a threat and there may be no later. I thought you learned that years ago? What the hell is going on with you? Get over here!"

Jason was only ten floors up with twenty more to go to get to Carly.

"Send five guys this way to sit with Carly." Jason ordered him

"Done."

"I'm on my way."

Sonny hung up without another word. Jason immediately headed back downstairs, calling Carly's room on the way. He got voice mail.

He said, "We can't leave things like this, Carly. After everything, I refuse to believe...no, it's not, it's not over, okay? There is a way to fix this. But first, there's some business I have to deal with. Things are heating up again. The boys will be safe at Sonny's. I'm on my way there to make sure of it. You stay with your guards, in your room. You got it? Stay there and wait. I...somehow this will all work out so we can be right again, okay?" he let out a breath. "Okay then. Stay safe."

Jason shoved the phone in his pocket, hoping Carly checked her hotel room voice mail soon. But Carly was already packing a bag and calling a cab.

She wouldn't be hearing his message, tonight or any other night any time soon.

NOTE- Two chapters left to go!