Wow, I mean wow. I mean I only wrote the last chapter two days ago, this is is big for me. To be honest the only time I updated quicker was when chapter 7 of The Randomness Chronicles was written and posted like 2/3 hours after 6... Current time: 15:12 GMT
GwuncanLover doesn't own Rat Race, it is owned by Paramount Pictures. I earn no profit from this story.
Pegasus ran from the room, everyone else was stood by the elevator.
"It's a race! A race! You have to pace yourself. Carbohydrates are important. Pasta is good. Though breathing is more important." He took a couple of deep breaths before running past the Current m to a wall and started doing some stretches.
"It's some sort of joke, it has to be." Malik stated, pushing the elevator button again. Everyone agreed.
"What kind if jackass gives away $2 million?" Joey asked, Pegasus still stretching in the background, holding one leg and hopping in a circle like an idiot.
"Maybe it's a publicity stunt." Duke wonders.
"What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy." Mariku countered.
"Well, maybe it's a secret publicity stunt..." Ishizu states.
"A secret publicity stunt?"
"Yes."
"I don't know what his angle is. But there's always an angle." Yami added. "Bakura Touzoku, people like him, make millions of dollars playing people like us for chumps. And I, am nobody's chump."
"You don't believe him?" Mariku asks. Yami takes his plane ticket out of his pocket.
"11:30, non-stop to Chicago, Im going to be on it."
"He's right! I'm not wasting my first family vacation in three years to go on some fucking wild goose chase."
"OK so... you're not going for it?" Duke asks. Everyone says no. They all turn towards the elevator and Malik presses the button again.
"Well, it was nice meeting you all, but I'm gonna take the stairs. My room's only two floors down. Have a nice vacation." And with that Mariku turned and left through the door to the stairs.
"You know, it's probably stuck." Duke ponders, pointing to the elevator. "Think I'll take the stairs too." Duke also walks through the door, with a wave.
A flight ahead, Mariku is currently running down the stairs, Duke close behind, followed by Joey, Tristan, Malik and Ishizu who is having trouble due to her heals. Joey and Tristan had caught up to the two ahead where Tristan had the marvellous idea to jump over the railing, causing him to fall on the other three. Seeing the pile up, Malik stops, making Ishizu fall into him, and they too fell into the pile of people.
Yami, being the only sensible one, had decided not to go after the money and took the elevator.
"Hold the door?" A room service man with a cart asked. Yami smiled and did telling the man to take his time and that he wasn't in a rush.
"Get up!" Joey yelled. Everyone still in the tangle, trying to get up.
"Wait! This is crazy!" Duke shouted, silencing everyone. "If we're all going for it, why don't we go for it together? You know split it 50/50."
"50/50?" asked Tristan.
"Well 50/50/50/50 whatever."
"Yes, that's a good plan." Ishizu agreed. Just then Pegasus came running down the stairs shouting it's a race, running past the six on the floor.
"I'm winning! I'm winning!" They stared after him before all clawing to get up again.
"And there off!" Bakura stated, looking at some screens showing them run down the stairs. The room from before now held all the men from behind the mirror. "No one is offering you action like this. A horse race with animals that can think and lie and cheat and play dirty! Hah! It's the gambling experience of a lifetime. It's my way of saying 'I understand men like you.' I know what you want, what you need. This casino, my casino is where you belong."
Outside Duke was the first to run out of the lobby. He ran straight for a taxi, stealing it from a couple.
"To the airport!" he yelled as he flung himself inside. The cabbie turned round, revealing a Dallas hat.
"You got it." he said, then driving away.
Malik and Ishizu ran out next.
"Where are you? I don't see you!" Malik said loudly into his phone.
"I forgot to tip the maid! I always tip the maid!" Ishizu moaned as she was dragged away from the hotel.
"Forget about the maid, Ishizu! There he is!" Malik pointed to a black car parked outside, which they both got into.
"Tea! This is a real job, I swear!" Marik stated, standing in his hotel room.
"What is it?" she asked, suspicious.
"Huh?"
"The job. What's the job?"
"Ink... for fountain pens." he stated matter-of-factly before walking away.
"And they're in New Mexico?"
"Sliver City, New Mexico."
"I love New Mexico! Honey, we'll go with you!" Tea replied excited.
"NO!"
"Why not?" she asked deflated.
"Because... we already paid for the room. See. Now look who's wasting money."
"No, it was you're idea to stop here. I don;t give a shit about David Copperfield. This is our family vacation, we're coming with you!"
"But you don't understand!"
"WE ARE COMING WITH YOU!" Tea yelled, fuming. He glared at her, arms crossed before relenting.
"Fine." He gave her some money. "Call the bellman, have him bring the car around." Happy again, Tea bounced out of the room. Marik groaned and grabbed his bag.
In the hotel lobby, Pegasus was somehow still behind everyone and still shouting "It's a race." as he ran. He dodged past people as he ran before he stopped, his eyes rolling back into his head, falling asleep on the spot.
"What is he doing?" An Arab man asked. Bakura looked over his shoulder.
"He's sleeping. He must be narcoleptic."
"But I bet on him!"
"So did I, $2 million." An American next to him said. Bakura smirked.
"I'm sorry gentlemen, but all the bets are locked in." All the other men laughed.
"Sleeping! Sleeping!"
Joey and Tristan were currently driving like maniacs looking for the airport.
"Joey!" Tristan was screaming as they nearly hit another car.
"Don't tell me how to drive!"
Duke's taxi then drove past.
"It's yellow, run it!" he yelled.
Malik and Ishizu's driver was fairing better, gently weaving through traffic.
Mariku's mini van was just behind them.
"Where's my video game?" Mokuba whined.
"Seat belts." Mariku muttered.
"What's the rush?" Tea asked, holding onto the dashboard.
"I don't want to be late. This is an opportunity of a lifetime.
"You're not just a travel agent Roger, you're an angel." Malik said before hanging up his phone. "There's one charter plane to New Mexico, and we just bagged it."
"Cool!" Ishizu replied.
In Duke's taxi, football was blaring from the radio.
"Pass it. Pass it. C'mon just THROW THE BALL!" The cabbie yelled, smacking the radio with his hat. "You'll be lucky to play arena football in Barcelona!" He then looked through the mirror at Duke. "You like football?"
"Sure."
"You happen to catch that Dallas game last week? Well, you can't really call it a game. It was an obscenity! A crime against football." Whilst he was speaking, Duke slid down in his seat, trying to hide his face. I lost 20 grand! They would have won if it wasn't for that dumb fuck referee. Now I have to work two shifts! I mean Stevie Wonder could made a better referee!"
The brothers stood leaning against a petrol pump, planes flying over head, reading a map.
"Where's the fuck's the airport?" Joey yelled.
"One lousy flip of the coin and the whole franchise goes down the crapper." Duke got out and ran round to the door. "That'll be 10.50." Duke threw $50 dollars at him.
"Keep the change."
"Hey." He grabs his hand and shakes it. "Thanks a lot, enjoy your flight buddy." Duke runs away. Another cabbie walks up to him.
"Hey, you know who that was? "
"Nah."
"The referee. The one from the game. The coin toss." The man's smile fell.
"Oh my god, you're right! I had him in the cab and I let him go!"
Inside the airport, Mariku was pulling on his family, making them keep up with him. Yami smirked as he watched them.
"Chumps." he said, before taking a drink of his beer. He looked at his key before throwing it into a bin across from him. A woman behind him then sneezed. He turned to find a woman in her mid twenties with long, flowing blonde hair wearing purple skinny jeans, black turtle neck and dark purple velvet jacket reading a book on a couch behind him. He turned back, before looking again. He got up and walked over to her. "Excuse me? Hi. I'm not a creeper on anything."
"I don't have any quarters." She said, flipping the page.
"Oh, no. I never do this, but I'm reading the same book you are." He stated, holding up the same book, Lindbergh. "It's fantastic, isn't it?" she agreed. "What part are you on?"
"He just had a sex change." She said, looking up, showing him her deep brown(1) eyes.
"Who did? Lindbergh?"
"Mm-hm."
"A sex change?"
"Oh yeah." She said, smirking. He looked at the book before mentally slapping himself in the face, the woman laughed.
"That's funny."
"I thought so."
"I wouldn't be to proud of yourself, I'm the most gullible man in Chicago."
"Uh-huh?"
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Can't, I'm flying."
"So, it'll relax you."
"No, I mean I'm flying. I'm a pilot."
"Oh, are there many female pilots?"
"There's at least one." Yami laughed awkwardly.
"You know, I'm gonna walk away and as soon as I do, I'm gonna think of something good to say to that."
"Mail it to me." she whispered. Yami smiled, looked like he was going to say something, before awkwardly walking away.
"Flight 115 to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Gate 17." A check in woman said to Duke before he ran off. Mariku and family then stepped forward.
"Four tickets to Albuquerque, and hurry. Near the front of the plane. Come on!" Mariku said to woman who was typing too slow for his liking.
"This is so exciting, I've never been on a private jet before!" Ishizu said as she looked around the plane. "It's bigger than my apartment!"
"What's our ETA?" Malik asked the pilots.
"One hour, ten minutes." one replied.
"If you get us there in less than an hour, I'll buy you both dinner." The pilots both turned at once to agree, and banged their heads together in the process.
Joey and Tristan found themselves at the back of a huge line at check in. Instead of waiting they pushed straight to the front.
"Who's next?" The woman asked.
"We are." Joey said.
"No I am." The man who was originally next said.
"No, we are."
"No you were not."
"Are you calling me a liar?" (2)
"As a matter of fact, I am. We've been waiting here for over twenty minutes."
"Hold on. Is that the correct time?" he asked the check in woman, she turned around to look and Tristan punched the man arguing with his older brother. The woman turned back around.
"Who's next?"
"They are." Everyone in the line said.
"Two tickets to Albuquerque."
"Oh, sorry. We're completely booked. There's 4:30, but you have to switch in Dallas."
"This is it Joey." Tristan slurred.
"What do you mean 'that's it?' I'm not giving up, and neither are you, and neither am I! You hear me brother. If we're not flying out of here, no one is flying out of here." They both smiled at the check in woman before walking away.
Outside, Joey was wrapping a rope around the front bumper on his Ford Bronco, whilst on the other end of the rope Tristan was climbing up one of the towers. After tying, Joey hopped inside the roofless vehicle. Having climbed far enough, Tristan threw the rope, with a hook on the end, it caught in the bar on the top. Suddenly, a light flashed and beeped.
"That can't be good." Joey says. As soon as he says this, the top of the tower starts to rotate, the rope getting caught and wrapping around it.
"Joey!" Tristan yells; getting scared he starts to climb down. The rope is now taught enough that it starts to pull the car forward, Joey tries to stop it, but can't as he starts getting dragged. He is pulled through a chain link fence, which they cut open to get onto the radar tower in the first place.
"Tristan! Tristan!" He yells as the Jeep is pulled vertical by the spinning radar. It smacks into the tower, causing Tristan to nearly fall. He looks behind him to see the car literally right behind him, and so starts climbing the tower again.
"STOP THE CAR!" Tristan yells. Joey is helpless as he dangles from the steering wheel. "JOEY, STOP THE CAR!"
"I CAN'T!"
"JOEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO!" Joey climbs back into the drivers seat as the car I about 10 feet from the top of the tower. "DON'T COME UP ANY MORE!"
"Tristan!" The front wheel then gets stuck in the crosses on the tower, making the radar forcibly stop spinning. It crunches and grunts before the bolts break off, and the whole top falls over, causing Tristan to jump and fall onto the windscreen of the Jeep. They both look at each other before sobbing.
"Freeze everything. Every flight." An air traffic controller said to all the others in front of him. One stood up and look at the broken radar through binoculars. He saw Joey and Tristan's Jeep drop down the tower a little.
Yami sat reading a paper in the airport. "All flights have been postponed due to a technical problem. Sorry for any inconveniences." A voice over a tannoy said. He turned round to look at the boards, seeing all the flight times switch to delayed.
Mariku groaned and stood up. "Come on, we have to go." He said before pulling his family up and pulling them away, like earlier.
"Honey, the bags."
"Forget the bags, lets go!"
Duke ran round to an escalator, seeing it blocked, he quickly ran down the stairs, throwing his ticket as he went.
Outside Joey and Tristan were hiring a car, Tristan looking at it, whilst Joey showed the owner his licence.
"This is your licence?"
"yes it is."
"Where was it issued?"
"In Guam." Tristan the beeped the horn.
Duke ran straight into a taxi. "Just head east! And I'm in a hurry!" The same taxi driver turned around.
"Hello again. East it is."
Malik and Ishizu were also at a car rental place. Though they were being served by a trainee, the manager behind him.
"We have a mid-sized caprice."
"What colour is it?" Ishizu asked.
"We don't care about colour, just give us whatever is parked closest to the door." Malik said aggravated.
"Insurance." The manager said.
"Would you be interested in purchasing liability insurance?" The trainee asked.
"How much is it?" Ishizu asked.
"It doesn't matter, we'll take it, just hurry." Malik responded. The trainee pressed a button on the computer, and it beeped.
"Hit shift." The manager said, he did and it beeped again. "Now enter." Beep. "Shift key." Beep. "Right Button." Beep. Malik stared open-mouthed at the slowness of the man.
The two brothers, now in a convertible, sped out of the dealership.
Malik and Ishizu sped out in a similar fashion, nearly hitting an old lady as they did.
Mariku swerved with his mini-van, nearly hitting another car.
Yami walked back over to the female pilot.
"OK, I've got one." She looked up from Lindbergh.
"What?"
"A great comeback. I said, 'Are there a lot of female pilots?' You said, 'There's at least one' and I should have said, 'Two if you count Lindbergh.'" She looked at him, trying not to laugh at the stupid line. "Because you said he had a sex change... It's a work in progress."
"OK." She said whilst giggling.
"I'm Yami Sennen."
"Mai Valentine."
"So I guess you van have that drink now?"
"No, I'm flying to Roswell in five minutes."
"Oh, didn't you hear, everyone's grounded."
"That's for fixed wing, I'm in a chopper we use a different system."
"Oh." Yami then had a thoughtful look on his face. "Roswell, New Mexico?"
"Yeah."
"You're flying to New Mexico?"
"Yeah, we've been flying down all week, they're repainting the whole fleet." Yami now had a shocked expression on his face.
"You can fly. Nobody else can fly. But you can fly. And you're flying to New Mexico."
"Yeah."
"But nobody else can fly."
"Do you need a ride?" Mai asked, getting in his eye sight and breaking him from his trance. He looked at her before quickly getting up. He dived over the wooden partition and started throwing ll the rubbish from the dustbin trying to look for his key.
Back at the hotel Yugi had a chocolate. He put it in his mouth before saying, "Coconut."
"Alright." Bakura said, holding a large box of chocolates. "Who had coconut?"
"I did." A Japanese man said, coming forward and grabbing a large pile of money.
"Ah Phil." Bakura said.
Mariku was driving up the interstate, just passing a sign that said Ashworth. He then passes a Volkswagen Beetle.
"That's the car that I'm getting." Mokuba said.
"Yeah, don't count on that." Tea said.
"Why not?"
"Because the Volkswagen Beetle was used by the Nazis. And I wouldn't be comfortable driving round in one."
"So don't drive it, I will."
"I have to go." Rebecca uttered.
"No you don't" Mariku replied.
"Yes I do, I really do!"
"We just stopped."
"I couldn't go the bathroom was too gross."
"Well can't you hold it in?"
"I can't it's an emergency!" They passed a sign that said GAS-FOOD and had an arrow pointing off the road.
"Why don't we just use the restaurant?" Tea asked.
"Because that's three miles off the road, then three miles back, we lose like ten minutes." The rest of the car started arguing with him. "Mokuba, just look back there for an empty jar."
"Girls don't pee in jars."
"Right, look for a jar and a funnel."
"Dad!" Rebecca moaned whilst hitting him with her teddy bear. "I don't have to pee! It's number two!"
"Sorry I can't stop."
"But Dad, I'm prairie dogging it!"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Like when a prairie dog sticks it head in and out of the ground."
"Oh." Mariku said. He then realised what that meant, the same time Tea did and they gagged. "Oh my God, I don't not want to fucking picture that!"
In the middle of the desert, Duke's taxi was driving down a road, going deeper into it.
"Yes, Silver City it is buddy." The taxi driver said, smiling evilly into the rear view mirror.
"Yeah, it's about 700 miles. You don't mind do you?"
"Oh no, I don't mind." Duke took his red jacket off. "Just another job."
"About how much do you think that's gonna cost?"
"I wouldn't worry about it. Tell you what. You just pay me whatever you think is fair, because I trust your judgement."
"I hate you!" Rebecca yelled. Instead of stopping, Mariku had made his eight year old daughter stick her arse out the window to go.
"Alright, nobody look." Mariku said. "I'm going to turn on the radio so no one will hear you." Suddenly samba music burst from the red minivan.
"I hate you!"
"Nobody can hear you, sweetie. Just push away!"
Also in the desert, well above it, were Yami and Mai.
"I'll drop you off in the parking lot near the hospital."
"Great." he replied.
"What's wrong with her?"
"Who?"
"Your sister, you said it was serious."
"...Oh yeah it was a... shark bite."
"A shark bite?"
"Yeah."
"And they took her to Silver City?"
"Erm, yeah. They have a really good shark attack unit there." Mai looked at him before shrugging.
Mariku was now currently pulled over by the police. One by his window, the other wiping the windscreen of the police car.
"How fast was I going?" Marik asked seductively whilst twirling one of his porcupine like hair spikes.
Now on a dirt road, Duke was looked suspiciously put the window.
"Where are we?"
"Just a short cut I know."
"Well, maybe we should stick to the highway."
"Oh there's a thought. You think we should stick to the highway, I think we should use my short cut. How about we just flip a coin?"
"Oh! It's not what you think!" he yelled as he stopped the taxi. He got out and tried to drag duke out, succeeding in taking his pants and off. He then pulled his socks off as well, before picking him up and tossing him away from the taxi. The man then drove away, waving his pants as he went. Duke feet were now burning as he stood up, he ran over and stood in the shadow of a cactus.
"Aah, ooh. I', going to kill him!" He risked running to the next cactus shadow, but couldn't make it and ran back. He then screamed and threw his hands in the air.
Driving down the road were Malik and Ishizu, They were currently lost as they had come off the highway at some point. Just to the right of the road was a woman, she had long brown hair in a pony tail, blue eyes behind big black framed glasses and was wearing khaki pants, jacket and white shirt and a wicker sun hat. She was also surrounded by cages and had a sign next to her sating Squirrels for sale $2. They drove up and Ishizu rolled down her window.
"Hi, my name's Becca! Do you want a squirrel?" she asked with a British accent, whilst walking up to the car.
"No thanks, we're looking for the interstate." Malik said.
"Oh, I get that a lot, because of the detour." She turned to one of the squirrel cages, the squirrel inside wearing a top hat and a monocle. "Ohhhh, now they've lost their way. Now they can't get home." She said in a sad voice, with a frown. She then turned back to the car. "You sure you don't want one?"
"No, we're sure."
"They make excellent pets. I taught this one to act like a squid! He's not for sale though. Who wants to go home with the nice ladies?" Malik was about to interject when she looked back at the squirrels again and said in a high-pitched voice. "Ooh Pick me! I don't bite! What's your name pretty lady?" She asked looking at Ishizu.
"Ishizu." She said smiling.
"Ma'am, really, we;re not interested."
"I'm not talking to you am I? No, I'm talking to Ishizu." She dead panned. "What about Bucky? He just loves to climb trees and eat nuts!"
"We don't want a fucking squirrel! Now do you or do you not know where the interstate is?" Marik practically screamed.
"Well, no shit. I'm not retarded." Becca slipped back into the voice. "Tell 'em about the short-cut." She went back to normal. "Thank you Bucky. I almost forgot. There's this little short-cut down there. It'll bring you to exit fourteen and save you thirty miles." She then leant on the side of the car, while Ishizu got out a pad and paper. "OK, listen carefully. You want to go straight down here, exactly 1.8 miles. Then you make a left at the totem pole ranch. After another 5.4 miles, you go up a big hill. There you'll a yellow sign with graffiti on it. And there's this little dirt road, take that to the right, then you're right back on the interstate!"
"Thank you very much." Malik stated, about to start the car again.
"Oh wait!" Becca said, walking away. She returned with a brown paper back that said I LOVE SQUIRRELS! :) "Take some nuts. Never know when you might see a squirrel!" Ishizu took the bag with a smile as Malik rolled his eyes before driving off. "Oh, you could've bought me!2 Becca stated in Bucky's voice as they drove away.
Duke was now walking through the desert in just his underwear as he had the genius idea to rip his black vest in half and use it as shoes so his feet wouldn't burn. "Where am I?" He asked no one in particular.
Back with Mariku now and after his run in with the law, things were tense inside the minivan. They then passed a sign that said 3 MILES Barbie Museum.
"Wow! A Barbie museum can we stop?" Rebecca asked.
"Sorry Becky, we have a plan. And we're going to stick to the plan." She started pulling on his purple top repeatedly saying please. He shrugged her off.
"It's not fair! We never stop anywhere I want to." She whined.
"I'm sure Mokuba doesn't want to go to the Barbie museum."
"Are you kidding? I'll stop anywhere. I am freaking out back here!" Mokuba replied.
"Yeah, honey. We really need to pull over and stop to give the kids a break."
"Yeah, we'll stop on the way back."
"No, stop the car."
"I can't!"
"We need to stop the car."
"I can't do that."
"We all need to stop."
"Noooooooooooooooooo."
"STOP THE CAR!" Tea yelled slamming into her husband's side, causing him to swerve.
"Fine. For ten minutes."
"Wow, a Barbie museum!"
"Klaus Barbie. Sometimes known as the butcher of Lyon." A Neo-Nazi punk said whilst standing in front of Nazi flags. Mariku and Tea stood open-mouthed, whilst the children looked confused. Mariku, tried to hide a little behind Tea to hide his Arabic heritage. "Let the Jew revisionists talk about their death camps and so-called crimes again humanity. This museum is lovingly dedicated to the Klaus Barbie that no one else knows."
"The husband, the devoted father, the wine connoisseur and three time ballroom dancing champion."
Joey and Tristan were driving along the same street in which Mariku's family were just on. As they got to the Barbie museum Tristan spotted Mariku's car.
"Look it's that guy, the one that looks like a porcupine!" Joey pulled into the parking lot.
"Barbie joined the SS in 1935, where he soon became one of the führer's favourite young officers.
"Can we go?" Mokuba asked his mother, who shushed him.
"Here we see him standing beside Hitler's touring car. The very same car which can be seen on display outside in our courtyard." Mariku and family started to back away from the group. "You're leaving?"
"What?" Mariku asked. "Well, yes, we have a 4:30 book burning then a..."
"Christening!" Tea added.
"Yes a christening. For one of our many white, Christian, non Jewish friends."
"Family" Tea said through gritted teeth.
"I mean family."
"Blood relatives." Tea added.
"The Himmler-Heissen Von Struszelbergs..." Mariku stated, Tea dragged him away.
"It' beautiful. We had a great time." Rebecca stopped in front of a counter.
"Look a gift shop!"
"Next time, honey. I promise, I really do." she added, grabbing her daughter and running out.
"Just go!" Mariku said, before stopping in front of his car. "We've been cut!"
"What do we do now?"
Back with Joey and Tristan, who were currently looking at a map, despite the fact that they were still driving.
"I say we take the interstate." Joey said.
"No. Take highway 12. It's a short cut!" Tristan stated, pointing at the map.
"You don't know what that is. It could be anything. It could be a dirt road."
"You know what? There's two of us. Why don't we just separate?"
"What?"
"There's two of us. Maybe we should just separate."
"You're right. You're a genius! If we go our separate ways, you could steal a car. Then we'd have double the chances of getting there first."
"Yeah! You take this." Tristan held up the key. "We only got one key!"
"Oh, look there it is. Totem Pole Ranch, turn left."
"1.8 miles exactly. Thank you squirrel lady!"
Mariku was now driving down the road in none other than Hitler's car.
"I can't believe it dad. You just stole Adolf Hitler's Mercedes Benz!" Mokuba said shocked.
"Well Hitler had it coming! You know what goes around, comes around."
"Their going to be pissed." Tea replied.
"Don't worry about it honey, they're Nazi's it's like it's their job. You know when we get to Silver City, we'll call them, we'll work something out." Mariku then laughed as they sped down the road.
Current Time: 22:45 GMT
Well, I said this would kill me, and this just might. I actually haven't moved since I started writing this. If only just to pause and play the TV. Now 5.5 hours and 5177 words later all I need is some food, a drink and ice for like my whole body. My legs are jelly and my neck is so stiff right now. What I'm only 58 minutes in with adverts? *Gets gun*
(1) I actually don't know what colour they are. I did google her and looked at like 10 pictures of her and couldn't tell whether they were brown or a brownish purple, so I went with brown as that's what it looked more like.
(2) I was so tempted to put "Well I ain't callin you a truther!"