Ok here's the next chapter.
Russian 117: Thanks man but seriously this isn't my own idea look for Fics called Minihammer, etc.
Doorcf: Thanks, I think? I'm touched if your trying to write English but you can write in Espagnol if you want, I can get it translated.
Colnel-Mustard 1990: I've already said thanks in the PM and the Eldar names will be used, not in this chapter but the next.
I hadn't even been in the kitchen yet and I was dreading it. I left Warboss Loads Dakka Da Stompa in the living room and made my way to the kitchen, I hadn't even stepped through the door yet but I could already hear the sounds of battle.
In the kitchen there were Tau and Dark Eldar fighting. The fighting was almost beautiful to watch the Dark Eldar moving quickly and dodging around the Kroot. The Tau were firing their wonderfully blue rail guns into the Dark Eldar.
I realised that if I wanted peace, I would have to stop the fighting for good. The Dark Eldar I didn't know how to stop but the Tau they were easy.
"Stop this right now, it's for the greater good!" I shouted.
Immediately the Tau stopped firing and the Dark Eldar stood in shock. The Dark Eldar turned around and ran at me.
Now I don't get scared easily, I watched the Alien films without so much as a gasp, but when about two hundred figures adorned with spike and firing very advanced weapons are coming at you. Well you can't blame me for letting out a yelp.
One shot connected with my chest but I could barely feel it through my jumper. Another connected with my head and it stung like hell. The Dark Eldar were close now, so I raised my foot and slammed it on their ranks. There were cries from underneath my foot but the attacks just kept coming.
As I was just a humble nerd I couldn't hold them back for long. Before I knew it I was on the floor and incredibly strong cables were being used to hold me down. A Dark Eldar was standing on my nose looking down at me.
"And now you will die,"
A strange weapon was placed on my eye and raised. Even though I was staring death in the face, I refused to close my eye. Then just as I was about to die I heard war cries.
"For the Emperor,"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH."
Orks and Space Marines ran as one at the Dark Eldar lines. The two forces clashed with the sounds of whirling chain-swords and weapon fire. The Tau had finally figured out what to do and fired at the Eldar's corrupted brethren. The battle sounded great I think I even heard Loads Dakka/Cindy getting involved. Then as loud as the fight was the world went silent. I heard a voice through the silence.
"Mon-keigh, listen to me, you have to stay perfectly still," The Farseer said.
"You do realise I have a name right?"
Then the world was un-muted and an incredibly high pitched screeching pierced the air. At least three dozen Howling Banshees ran screaming into the Dark Eldar lines.
Then another pair of tiny feet were on my face. I saw the form of the Farseer. She ran singing spear first at the my captor. She knocked the weapon out of the Dark Eldar's hand. The Dark Eldar then merely dodged the other attacks and pulled out another blade of her own. The Farseer raised her spear in a defensive stance and started to parry the Dark Eldar's blade. Then the Farseer saw her opening and thrust forward stabbing her opponent squarely in the chest. The Dark Eldar stopped in her tracks. She dropped her blade and slumped down on my lip.
"I'm sorry that it came to this, Sister," The Farseer said darkly.
After she said this she keeled over. I heard shouts of dismay in the Eldar's rank.
"Go care for your Farseer, we will deal with these whelps," A Space Marine Captain said.
Two Warp Spiders appeared on my face and grabbed the Farseer's form.
"Use whatever you need and what ever room you need," I said.
"Thank you Mon-Keigh we are in your debt," One Warp Spider Said.
Then I heard the other gasp.
"Mon-Keigh, the blade is at your lip. It's poisons are running through you as we speak, we must get you loose and to one of our healers otherwise you will be dead by the turn of the hour,"
"No get the Farseer done first I'll be fine for a while,"
It was a group effort but eventually I was cut out of my bonds. I can gladly say that for the first time all the main races were working together in one common goal. After I had been cut loose I ran to the sink and started to bark orders.
"Tau, fetch me the salt, Assault Marines get me a cup,"
After my items had been fetched I put water in the cup and added the salt. I put the rim to my lip and took a deep breath.
Okay James Bond don't fail me now.
I downed the vile drink in one gulp and then threw up my guts. After I had stopped shaking I decided to get the leaders of the armies together-minus the Eldar of course- and sort out a truce of sorts.
All together there was the Space Marine Chapter Master, A Dreadnought, The Lord-General, A Commissar and The Shas'O Commander.
"Okay, names,"I said.
"I am Chapter Master Marcus Reeds," The Space Marine said, he gestured to the Dreadnought," This is Grand Master Davion Arghun,"
"I am Lord-General Julius Caesar, this is my aid Commissar Dmitri Petrenko," The Lord-General said.
"In your tongue I would be called Firestorm," The Shas'O Commander stated quickly.
"Okay, just in case you didn't know I'm William, this is my house and I will have peace. Am I understood?"
"But it-" Julius started.
"Am I understood?"
"Yes,"
I was going to milk this for as long as I could.
"Yes, What?"
"Yes sir,"
"William is right we are all running low on supplies and we shouldn't waste what resources we have left fighting pointless battles," The Russian accented Commissar said.
"Yes the human is right, we should conserve our resources," Firestorm agreed.
"Thank you, Space Marines you have a replicator in your ship, correct?" Dmitri said.
"Yes but it is to damaged to be used effectively," Marcus stated.
"But it can be used,"
"Sort of,"
"This is our offering of peace, the Imperial forces will stand down and use the replicator to produce food and other essentials as long as the other Forces agree to stand down and repair the replicator," This was said by the now less than silent Dreadnought, Davion Arghun.
"I can agree to that," Julius said.
"The Tau Forces agree as it is for the greater good,"Firestorm said.
"Thanks for agreeing to something," I said, "I've got a map of the house, so the Orks will have the basement, The Tau will have the kitchen, The Eldar can have the upstairs bathroom, the Imperial guard will take control of the living room and the Space Marines will stay in my room."
After I said this I coughed twice and my hand was covered in blood. My vision was going black. I fell backwards and I faintly heard the sounds of 'get the Eldar' before I lost consciousness.
Cliffhanger- this will be my update rate, one a week give or take.