Here I am, sorry about the delay but with illnesses and Warhammer 40k's birthday I was a bit preocupied.

Reviews;

Teromad: Thanks for the compliment, this is my first try with humor- ever onsite and off. Plus yeah it's gonna sting but it won't escalate into a war for a while- tghe Eldar like to keep to themselves.

Russian-117: I haven't seen you for a while, glad you enjoyed the chapter- I enjoyed writing that bit the best.

A Drunk Candian: I couldn't help but think that your name said A Drunk Cadian. Also KILL, MAIM, BURN.

Touch off the noodles: Sorry I didn't put in the full stops 'cause otherwise it deletes your name, anyways I'm glad it made your day I enjoyed writing the chapter.

Now on with the story and it should be in the right order now, cause this is the one from before the Valentines special.

I grudgingly opened my eyes- my body was aching and had scars, but I couldn't help but smile- I had got Karha to watch a movie with me, slept with a Dark Eldar and lived to tell the tale!

'Don't sound so smug- I went easy on you,'

'Did you now,'

'Yes, I showed a lot of restraint- you would have enjoyed it more but then you would have died,'

'And this stopped you because?'

'Normally it wouldn't but because we share a soul... Well to put it simply; if you die,I die and if I die you die,'

'Fair enough,'

I knew there was something that I needed to do today but I couldn't remember what.

'You said you were going to see all the armies- not just suck up to the Eldar,'

'I don't suck up- well not much anyway,'

'Exactly,'

'Well I'm not doing anything until I have my morning coffee,'

I pulled my blanket off and slowly stood up.

"James, Virgil, coffee time,"

One coffee and an hour later and I was standing outside the temporary Imperial Guard base, I was about to rap my finger against the side, when an Imperial Guard stopped me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you,Sir,"

"Why not?"

The Guardsman visibly winced at this.

"Just listen sir,"

I put my ear against the side and I could hear giggling coming from inside.

"I think I should give them their privacy,"

"Good idea sir,"

Okay, Imperial Guard- check. Who next?

'I would recommend the Orks,'

'What? Why?'

'Because then they're done,'

I put my hand on the handle and braced my self, I pushed the door open just a notch. No screaming resounded from within. I pushed the door open fully and ducked under a tiny bottle that flew in my direction.

"Shush umie, the boys are sleeping," An Ork weirdboy whispered by the side of my head.

'Sleeping Orks I've seen it all now,'

"I thought all you did was fight?"

"Now that's racist umie, they sleeping cause they tired, and cause they found loads of bottles of whine and drinked it all,"

"Whine? Don't you mean wine,"

"Dat's what I said- whine,"

"Never mind, and they drank it all?"

"Yeah they said it was good to, they favourite one was da sheerazz,"

They drank all the australian Shiraz-I was so dead when my parents came back.

"Just don't take stuff without my permission please," I sighed.

"Why,"

"Because otherwise even bigger umies will stomp me and you,"

"So wat,"

"Just- just enjoy your sleep,"

I can think of an excuse for the wine just as long as- BOOM.

I ran into the kitchen to see a smoking crater where my oven used to be and two blackened Tech marines standing at the crater's rim.

'So what song do you want at you funeral?'

'It'll be yours to,'

'Well in that case,'

Two hours and countless Dark Eldar approved songs later:

"And that should be the last of the pieces," I said giving them to the Tau, "I just want an oven, not a bomb or a generator, okay?"

The Tau nodded and started to arrange the pieces into a shape.

I walked up the stairs rubbing my temples and stood outside the upstairs bathroom and was about to push the door open when Yarsa spoke.

'Remember our talk earlier?'

'Please Yarsa, I need a pick me up,'

'Well here's an incentive,'

A burning pain ignited in my crotch area and I fell to my knees, as I dragged myself further from the door the pain lessened.

'Good boy, all I need now is a leash,'

'I'm sure you have plenty of them buried away somewhere,'

'True, true, and don't tempt me,'

I managed to pull myself to my feet and clambered slowly up the stairs. As I reached the top, a Space Marine bike slammed into my shin. I looked up into my room to see Razorbacks, Rhinos and bikes racing around a hastily built track. I looked at the Chapter Master and he just shrugged, I heard a whizzing and a popping noise and felt a weight on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw James and Virgil standing there.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We are in a truce, so we have decided to all get together and do some games," Virgil said.

"So far only both the Space Marine forces have contributed, but all the forces except the Eldar have come to observe," James said.

"What games exactly do you have in mind?" I inquired.

"We have vehicle races, ground races and wrestling," Virgil said.

"Uh don't you think that it could be difficult for, say the Imperial guard to get involved in games like that?"

"What sort of things do you have in mind?"

"Well what about something like mix-species football,"

"Football? What is that?"

"Uh how do I explain? You have two teams that have to kick around a ball and get it into the opposing teams net which is called a goal,"

"We have a game like that called Emperor Ball. But instead of kicking, you throw a solid steel ball and whoever kills the most Xenos or Heretics gets to carry the specialist weapons into combat," James said with glee.

"And that's similar to the game I just described in what way?"

"It has a ball in it,"

"Tell you what, give me half an hour and I'll put an old match on for you in the living room,"

"We'll be there, and we will spread the word to everyone else," Virgil said.

"What of the Eldar?" James asked.

"Tell them as well, they could use some good, especially after the events of the last few days,"

"And you're not going to ask, even after you spent the evening with the Farseer,"

"Yes, I've come to an agreement with someone about it,"

'Roll over boy, who's a good boy? You are, yes you are, yes you are,'

'Shut up Yarsa,'

"Did something go wrong last night?" Virgil said showing his maturity.

"No nothing happened,"

"You didn't try and kiss her did you? Because if you did you would smother her," James said.

'HAHAHAHAHA, smother her,' Yarsa laughed.

"Yes because if you smothered her that would be bad for everyone, or did you move too fast and scare her off," Virgil said trying to keep a serious tone, "Or maybe it went too well and your trying to think of something to say to her, William and Karha sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Virgil's maturity- BOOM.

'HAHAHA sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G,' Yarsa echoed.

"Fine I will tell them,"

'You what?'

'You heard me,'

I ran down the stairs taking two steps at a time, I was just about to open the door when I felt an alien presence in my head.

'We...Speak...to...saviour...imprisoner,'

'Who is this?'

'We...Tyranids,'

'Uh okay, I'll come and see you now, Yarsa, did I just get an invite to meet the Tyranid hive mind?'

'I'm just as shocked as you are,'

'Damn, I'm gonna have to get some bug spray,'

I was just wondering- cause I just found out- how diffrent the Warhammer Universe would be if the corrupted Primarch hadn't met the Eldar, instead someone like Guilliman or the Emperor had met them instead- Yes I may do this once I'm done with Bitesized, but I was wondering if someone had already atempted it, if they have could anyone send me a link.

Next chapter will be up on Saturday.