Author's Note: This chapter's a bit longer, I think. I blame it on Howard thinking too much.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, or their words or the concept or this laptop.
Howard felt nauseous. It made him squirm in his seat and he knew that to anyone who might glance his way he probably looked vaguely constipated. Bolting to the toilet wouldn't help dispel that impression but he truly felt like his breakfast was trying to commando crawl up his oesophagus and the worst part was that his reasons for feeling like he was about to wretch were, for the most part, horribly embarrassing.
His first worry was that he was going to be arrested at any moment for kidnapping, or at least for traveling with a child who wasn't his. Vince, in his excitement, had simply ordered the tickets and it was barely hours later that an expensive black car had parked in front of the Nabootique, ready to whisk them away to the station. He'd hurriedly thrown some clothes and necessities into a bag but had stopped short when he took in Blanche's appearance.
She was still wrapped in her blanket, clinging to it and trembling slightly. She had no other clothes and looked in desperate need of a wash. It couldn't be helped, he knew, but surely it would cause unwelcome looks on the Eurostar and what about paperwork? Blanche, as far as he knew, didn't have any, not even a birth certificate. What would happen if he was asked to show proof that he was related to the child?
Just as Howard was starting to panic, his fingers itching to give himself a chinese burn, Naboo had appeared from his room with a large envelope which he handed to Howard.
"Stop panicking, you idiot. Take this."
"What's in it?" Howard asked warily. He'd had too much experience with Naboo's strange collection of spells and potions to simply take something that the shaman offered anymore.
"It's her paperwork, you ballbag," Naboo lisped.
Howard looked confused.
"How did you get this?"
"I'm a shaman, ain't I? I magiced them up." Naboo rolled his eyes and went to sit beside Blanche who, ever so slightly, shuffled closer to him on the sofa. Even in a few short hours she had begun to trust them and seek affection from them. Just like her daddy, Howard thought, only to be jolted from his happy thought by the sound of a car horn down stairs.
"You best be going, then," Naboo said, patting Blanche on the head and giving Howard a look that said that if anything happened to the little girl his life would not be worth living.
"Aren't you coming too?" Howard suddenly panicked. He was rubbish with children and suddenly he was about to take a rather long train journey with one that he barely knew.
"Course, not," Naboo replied. "This is your adventure, Howard. Besides, someone has to stay behind and keep an eye on Leroy. I don't trust him not to accidentally sell the register instead of the stock."
Howard gave a chuckle, picked up his bag and held out his hand to Blanche who, after a moment, stood and shuffled over to place her tiny, cold fingers in his large, warm ones. She looked up and gave him a little smile and suddenly Howard was full of confidence. This little person needed him. If he couldn't be a man of action for himself he could certainly do it for her.
"Right then, little lady. Ready to go and meet your daddy?"
From their seats on the train Howard glanced down at the small sleeping form of Blanche. Whenever he felt the fear creeping back up he would look at her and feel brave again, at least for a little while. He patted the paperwork, stowed safely in his jacket's inner pocket. He was tired but he knew there was no point in trying to sleep. There was only twenty minutes left in the journey and he had been informed by Vince's PA (What was her name? Ami? She'd sounded familiar) that a car would meet them and take them to Vince's apartment. He'd sleep there. He'd also been informed that Vince would not be able to be there to meet them, but would be at work until well into the evening. Howard had been disappointed to learn this but had been impressed too. Vince at work, who would have thought it.
Seeing Vince again was the other thing that worried him. They hadn't actually spent any time together since the play. Vince had been to London several times since but there hadn't been the chance to catch up properly. Howard thought that maybe Vince was embarrassed to be seen with such an unfashionable friend as him. It wouldn't be the first time and now Vince had a lot more to lose from socialising with a fashion Don't.
He worried too that things would be awkward between them. Vince's revelation about Blanche's conception had been uncomfortable for both of them and he worried that that conversation would be hanging over them while he was here.
How long would Vince even want him around?
Would he expect them just to be staying for a short visit? Would he expect Howard to return to Dalson, and Blanche with him?
Or would Vince expect Howard to leave on his own? For Blanche to stay in Paris, to be raised by a forgetful and self-obsessed father and, most likely, a nanny?
It didn't bare thinking about but Howard knew he had to. It was always his lot to think about the deeper questions, to try and plan out what they would actually have to do. If things were left up to Vince the planning would be done in the form of a drawing of a pink pony in cowboy boots.
His breakfast was trying to crawl out of his stomach again and Howard was glad that he hadn't eaten lunch. He wondered what he'd do about Blanche's dinner. It was painfully obvious that the child was malnourished and hadn't been fed properly during her short life. After finishing the two cheese toasties she'd very nearly thrown them back up, her little tummy being unused to so much food all at once. Perhaps Vince's PA would be able to help them out. He doubted there'd be much in Vince's kitchen. The man couldn't cook and probably went out for every meal.
It was a wonder that anyone could remain thin enough to be a model in Paris, surrounded by so much delicious, and rich, food. Vince had, to Howard's trained eye, looked slightly less waif-like when he'd joined Howard for the play. Almost like he'd put on a kilo or two. It had made Howard happy, to see the man looking like a proper adult. He'd always worried when Vince had been going through his skinny phases. He's taken the GI diet to the extreme and Howard used to constantly worry about his friend's health. He'd worried so much when Vince had left for Paris, that with the distractions and excitement Vince would just forget to eat altogether.
With a gentle shudder the train pulled in to the station and the announcement sounded that all passengers were free to alight the train and enjoy their stay in Paris. Howard waited until most of the other travelers had gone before standing up and stretching his tired limbs. Blanche was still asleep so, after shouldering his bag, Howard leant down and scooped her up into his arms. His back gave a little twinge of protest but he ignored it. He'd spent most of the day carrying the little girl, or so it seemed, and he just wasn't used to carrying even her small weight around.
As they left the train Blanche snuggled further into his chest and Howard grinned. She really did remind him of a little puppy, so loving and affectionate and trusting. He couldn't comprehend how someone could treat her with distain or anything short of undying love. He hoped Vince would feel the same. He hoped Vince would love her. He hoped Vince would...
The station was crowded, overflowing with the sound of voices raised in welcome and excitement and the clatter of feet and suitcases on tiles. Being surrounded by so many people made Howard nervous. He didn't really like people. He didn't know what they wanted, why they always had to be there, staring, judging, getting into his space. Crowds like this made him panic but the warm little bundle in his arms held all of that at bay. He wasn't allowed to panic, not when Blanche was relying on him.
Taking a deep breath, Howard began to move in the direction of the exit, hoping that he'd be able to spot Vince's car once he go out there.
Suddenly someone pushed into him, murmuring a hurried apology as they rushed past. Howard turned, stumbling, and lost his bearings. Where had he been heading? Where was the exit? Why was everything suddenly moving so fast? And why was someone calling his name?
"Howard! Howard!"
He turned in the crowd but couldn't see who was calling him. He moved clumsily toward the voice which seemed to be getting louder very quickly.
"Howard!"
Suddenly there was something new pressed up against him. A flutter of pale blue feathers, silky black hair and a flash of porcelain skin was all the warning he got before he was enveloped in a tight hug that sent him reeling.
"Vince?"
It came out as a splutter and he tried to pull back, just to make sure it was his friend and not some nut-job looking for free hugs at the Eurostar. The eyes that met his took his breath away. He'd seen Vince's eyes too many times to count and, for a while they had lost their power over him. But it had been so long, and the day had been so full of emotion that seeing those eyes, big and blue and seeming to be full of the same maelstrom of emotions in his own head, left Howard unable to move, let alone speak properly.
"what are you doing here?"
Something flickered in those magnificent eyes but Howard couldn't guess at what it was. He tried to take in the man before him but it was difficult. Vince was still pressed up against him, or, more correctly, pressed up against Blanche, who still hadn't woken up.
"I came to meet you, Howard," Vince somehow managed to make his whisper heard over the noise of the station.
"But-"
"I missed you, Howard. And-"
He looked down at the bundle in Howard's arms and bit his lip.
"I really wanted to, you know, meet her."
He looked up at Howard through those long, black lashes and Howard felt his heart melt like warm marmite.
"She's asleep, I'm afraid."
"That's ok, probably for the best. I s'pect this place might be a little frightening for a nipper like her."
Vince hid his eyes behind his fringe.
"Yeah, you're probably right," Howard replied. Things were definitely edging into awkwardness and he had no idea of how to steer them back out of it.
"So..." He tried desperately to think of something to say.
"So..." Vince copied coyly. "Shall we, shall we go home?"
Howard nodded. He couldn't speak, his mouth was suddenly drier than the desert of nightmares but Vince didn't seem to mind. He nodded in reply and, for some strange reason, looked shy. That couldn't be right, Howard thought. Vince wasn't the shy sort. He must be misreading his friend's expressions, out of practice from their long time apart.
He was just convincing himself that he'd been wrong when he felt Vince shuffle against him and, before he had time to process the movement, felt soft, dry lips brush against his cheek. It was over so quickly, and the press of the lips so soft, that Howard almost thought he'd imagined it and looked up in time to see Vince pressing a similarly chaste kiss to Blanche's sandy blonde hair. It was all too much. He could deal with Vince being rude, selfish, immature, silly, awkward. But Vince being sweet... it was just too much.
"Howard, your eyes!"
Vince's own eyes looked like they were about to take over his face, and he was looking at Howard with an expression that Howard didn't want to even try to comprehend.
"What's wrong with my eyes?" He asked, hoping to be told they were the cold sly eyes of a shrew or a turkey.
"They're all, well, big... Um..."
"Um..."
"My car's out front."
"Right."
"Shall we... go?"
"Yeah. Let's."
Vince nodded, turned and began to walk toward the exit. Howard, bemused, confused and just downright tired followed, trying not to think about how easy it was to fall back into the pattern of following Vince.