Completely chaos wouldn't even begin to describe World Conferences. That was why Mexico usually skipped out on the meetings unless Germany purposely sought her out the day before and made sure she attended. To be fair, Germany was the only reason anything productive managed to get done in the first half of the conference. As for the second half... To keep from going insane Mexico did the only thing she could do; grab a bottle of tequila and join Scotland and Russia in a corner of the room to make sarcastic comments about everyone else. Others had dubbed these three "The Drinking Trio" for good reason seeing as no one could match them when it came to drinking except perhaps Germany and Prussia. They'd had a drinking contest once between Scotland, Prussia and Russia with Germany and Mexico as judges. No one knew who'd won though, Germany and Mexico had been drinking too and, well, no one remembered what had happened.

"Hola boys," Mexico greeted, pulling up a chair beside her friends.

"Hello lass."

"Privet."

Scotland smirked and knocked back a shot of whiskey. "Yer brother really outdid himself today with his stupid plans." He sat up straighter and did a surprisingly good imitation of America complete with the accent and hand gestures, "'Dudes, we should totally ask Tony to find Spock so he can solve all of our problems for us!'" Russia chuckled and sipped at his vodka while Mexico scowled and sank lower in her seat.

"I don't know how that idiot is my brother sometimes," she muttered.

Russia pointed to a giant dust ball and said, "Speaking of brothers, it looks like England is fighting France again comrades."

Mexico snorted, "What else is new?"

The Scotsman shook his head, "How he became the representation of the UK is beyond me. He's the youngest and he's the worst drunk I've ever seen! I cannae understand where he got it from, certainly not me."

A raised eyebrow. "Oh? And what about that Christmas party in 1985?"

A glare shot in her direction. "Russia spiked those drinks and you know it!"

Russia just smiled.

Tequila, vodka and whiskey, oh my! XD I DID NOT come up with The Drinking Trio, the credit goes to chaos-dark-lord of DeviantArt. Check out his/her stuff guys, it's epic (It's also where I go for a lot of my information about Mexico).

Mexico's definition of a quiet evening was a nice dinner followed by either reading a good book or taking a walk. It did not involve consoling her stupid baby brother. But what was she supposed to do when America barging in sniffling and looking like a kicked puppy? She couldn't actually force him out of the house, the idiota was stronger than her. So that was how she ended up on the couch with America and listening as he explained his tale of woe.

"It was just a stupid dare at first, Prussia and Denmark dared me to poor a bucket of ice water on England. Just for a joke, ya know? Anyway, England got super angry and challenged me to a 'duel of insults' or something like that-

Mexico interrupted, "Are you insane?! Don't you know some of the best wordsmiths in history were born in England?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think-"

"You never think!" America's pout grew more pronounced and Mexico sighed. "Yeah, yeah, go on."

"So, he let me go first and I totally trash talked him into the ground. Even Prussia said I did good. But then it was England's turn..."

"What did he call you?"

America cleared his throat, "He said, 'How can I respond to a beslubbered, pebbling, churlish clotpole, a beef-witted, gleeking bum-bailey, a gorbellied, mewling hedge born, onion-eyed, fustilarian, cob loaf, flap-eared, knotty-pated measle? You ruttish, reeking, coxcomb, you hugger-mugger moldwarp, you pottle-deep, maggot pie lewdster, yeasty, tickle-brained, whey-faced, nut-hook skainsmate!'"

"...I don't know whether to be impressed by the fact you remembered it all or that you actually quoted Shakespeare."

They sat in silence for a few moments until America suddenly perked up and grabbed his sister's shoulder. "Hey! I bet you know a lot of insults! Tell me some good ones so I get back at England! Pleeeeeeease?" The puppy dog eyes were back and Mexico sighed in defeat.

"Well, there is one. The Elder Swear."

Those baby blue eyes got wider, "I want to hear it!"

" Here it is," she took a deep breath. "Your mother is a BEEP BEEP BEEPING BEEP Lorem Ipsum BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Admindum Venium BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Tragoola BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP hippopotamus BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP republican BEEP BEEEEP and Daniel Radcliffe BEEP BEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEP with a bucket of BEEP BEEEEP BEEP BEEEEEP in a castle far away where no one can here you BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP soup BEEEEEEEEEEEP with a bucket of BEEP BEEEEP Mickey Mouse BEEP BEEP and a stick of dynamite BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP magical BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP ALAKAZAM!"

Gasping for air, Mexico watched America's face closely. He stared in shock for a minute before, "WOW! THAT'S AWESOME! I'M TOTALLY GONNA BEAT HIM THIS TIME. IGOTTAGOBYE!" He ran out the door faster than if he'd just seen an ice cream truck.

A voice behind Mexico whispered, "I don't know whether to be impressed by the fact you remembered it all or that you gave him a Harry Potter Puppet Pals quote."

She twisted around and slung an arm over the couch, "Be impressed by both, Mattie. Be impressed by both."

Did I really just write that? Did I really have the audacity to combine Hetalia, Shakespeare and Harry Potter Puppet Pals? XD Those are all Shakespearean insults btw (it's amazing what you can learn from watching Horrible Histories). Also, ninja!Canada FTW! 8D

Please review and tell me if you want more of these or if you want me to stop being lazy and write something with actual content.