"Joey?" I called out, taking a few steps into the R&R and curiously creeping my head round the door. My words got stuck in my throat – the man that had been constantly on my mind throughout this whole experience was stood with his back to me, stacking up boxes filled with the burning liquid I'd recently grown to hate. I took a hard swallow and watched him in silence, finding it a little amusing that he was completely unaware I was even in the room. Either that or he was just simply deciding to ignore me. I let out a soft sigh and coughed once to clear my throat, smirking slightly as he jumped and immediately turned round to look at me, "Is that for me?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow and nodding my head towards the boxes in his hands.

He stared back at me for a second, before snapping back to reality and shaking his head, "No, no..." he trailed off, quickly placing it down on the counter and drawing in a sharp breath. I didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad at the way he'd just reacted.

I smiled at his sudden concern, letting a giggle escape my lips, "I'm joking, Joey," I reassured him, watching as he cracked a small smile and hesitantly brought his eyes back to mine. We lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence, occasionally stealing sneaky glances from each other until I finally decided to break it once again, "I'm great, thank you for asking," I muttered more to myself than him, hoping my sarcasm would somehow break the tension that seemed to keep on growing with every passing second. I wasn't particularly sure if I had even come fully equipped to handle the awkward situation we were currently in, although I'd be lying if I was expecting him to greet me with a beaming smile and open arms.

"Yeah, uh," the raspy voice I'd grown to love so much murmured, "You look... y'know, compared to the last time I saw you," he continued quietly.

"Yeah," I agreed with a smile, nodding my head momentarily and shoving my hands into my pockets. "A lot of people have been saying that," I added, softening my gaze as I looked up at him. "Can I have a hug then?" I asked, grinning as I watched him make his way towards me before wrapping his arms loosely around my waist. I put my hands at the back of his neck, closing my eyes as I took in his usual, comforting scent. I really had missed him. A lot.

After a few seconds passed, I felt his grip loosening and his arms drop lazily back down to his sides as he took a step back from me. I wrinkled up my forehead and folded my arms over my chest as I looked at him, "What's wrong with you then? It's not like you have a girlfriend to be worried about," I said almost inaudibly, slowly nearing myself closer towards him. I stopped and gazed up at his dark, hazel orbs, my eyes delving deeply into his. "Is this just how it's gonna be, Joey?"

"No, Lo," he breathed, my heart speeding away furiously in my chest. "I know, I just... do you really think you should be here? With me? Y'know, all that drama with us... wasn't that all sort of part of the problem-?"

"Well, there is no us is there? So, uh, that bit's sorted..." I interrupted him quickly, resisting the urge to just stuff my head into his chest and forget everything that had happened, begging him to believe that none of this was his fault. I did feel bad, though. He was feeling guilty and I hated that. He had no reason to be.

I watched as he swiftly turned away from me and grabbed another vodka bottle from the box, "Well, I'm glad to see you're doing so well, Lauren," he mumbled, a tiny pang going off in my heart. He couldn't even fucking look at me.

I chewed gently on my bottom lip and breathed in deeply through my nose, "I guess I'll just... see you round, then?" I suggested with a sarcastic smile, resisting the urge to roll my eyes as he didn't even turn to look at me, just nodded his head. I sighed and raised my eyebrows in amusement, making my way towards the R&R door.

I honestly did not want to leave him feeling guilty.

After all, he was the person I had in mind during this entire experience. It wasn't that Mum, Dad, Abi, Whitney and anybody else weren't the ones spurring me on to go further. Hell, if it wasn't for them, I wasn't particularly sure where the hell I'd be right now. Our family were still pretty fucked up, but at the end of the day I loved them all to bits. And I desperately wanted to make it up to all them. No matter how long it would take.

The thing is the same thing applied to Joey. He was also the one that kept me sane during the times I was sure I was about to hit rock bottom. And when I eventually did, he wasn't there. But I knew that he cared. I knew he'd been round to see me. I knew he'd asked how I was. I knew he'd tried to visit me in hospital. And most importantly, I knew that he still loved me, as egocentric as it sounded.

Every time I would look at him, he'd have this look in his eye. Not the moody, 'ya-don't-fuck-wit-me' vibe he normally gave off, but the sweeter, kinder, caring one. That was the Joey I fell in love with. And I knew he was still the same. To most people he'd be someone you'd want to steer well clear of, but not with me. I guess we sort of brought out the best in each other.

So that was why I couldn't really understand his recent attitude. I mean, surely he was willing to try to get us back on track? Even if it was just as friends, couldn't he at least make the effort?

Was I seriously missing something here?