I had a reviewer comment on The Lost Colony, so I replied then went to Google to get a link to information on what it was. There, I heard of Minerva. -dramatic organ music plays- First thing I thought? "This will not do." Want to know what I think, even if it contradicts what Eoin Colfer apparently thinks? I think Artemis would feel almost threatened by a girl with an IQ close to his and yet two years younger. He'd want a girl who had a definitley lesser IQ, so he could feel superior, but who was clever in a different way than he was, to keep him interested. And, but of course, Reece fits these qualifications. Haha. Whenever I hear the name Minerva I think of a middle-aged woman who is crabby and old-fashioned. Eheh.

So, here's another ficlet to keep you entertained. I know I said the last one didn't have much to do with the storyline, but this one really doesn't. Will I introduce Minerva into the story later on? We'll see. Only if it fits in an interesting way. And if I do, I don't plan on doing any severe Minerva-bashing like portraying her as a devil child who sides with the bad guys or something.

Disclaimer: This is a parody of Minerva and Reece having it out with each other. And all the rest: I don't own Artemis nor Minerva nor Butler blah blah.

To my fantastic reviewers: I shall give note of your wonderfulness (i.e. reply to your reviews) when I post the next real chapter.

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Reece and Minerva occupy a sitting room in the Fowl Manor.

Reece: -hurls a chair at Minerva- Artemis is mine! How dare you, you snippy little girl!

Minerva: He's mine, damn it! I lived in his house for three years!

Reece: Who cares! He wasn't even there! We actually do live together!

Minerva: -gasp- You-You harlot!

Reece: -throws another blunt object at her-

Minerva: Stop it! -dodges- How can Artemis stand to be around someone who has all the control of an infant?

Reece: How can Artemis stand to be around someone whose first national appearance was when she was in a spelling bee while still in diapers?

Minerva: Take that back! I was four! Completely bathroom-trained! -throws a lamp-

Reece: Who has control now! Huh!

Minerva: -tosses her head full of beautiful golden blonde corkscrew curls-

Reece: -tosses her dirty-blonde head- Artemis would never go out with a Shirley Temple girl. You're exactly like her. You both have that rubber-curls look and you're both little.

Minerva: Speak for yourself, you American wannabe!

Reece: I am not an American wannabe!

Minerva: Give me a break! Your hairstyle looks like Avril Lavigne's, to me!

Reece: You stupid little- -tackles her and yanks her hair-

Minerva: -screams for the police, grabs Reece's hair-

Reece: -bites her hand-

Minerva: -screams again- You beast, you heathen, you- Aghh! Artemis said he had "blasts of affection" for me!

Reece: Shut up! I know him better than you ever will you stupid French girl! He likes me!

Minerva: You are wrong! Your IQ will never get as close to his as mine is!

Reece: Who cares! He likes me because I don't compete with him! Unlike all you other stupid people! AND. -lets go of of Minerva and smirks- He took care of me when I was sick.

Minerva: -gapes- He did not.

Reece: Yes, he did. -smiles victoriously-

Minerva: -flips hair- You are lying. What a horrid girl you are, to lie like that. But you know what? It doesn't matter, because he rescued me when I was in danger!

Reece: Him taking care of me when I was sick is much more intimate, and I am not lying! -seethes-

Minerva: Temper, temper!

Reece: -slams her into a wall-

Minerva: -screams and elbows Reece in the ribs-

Reece: -punches her in the stomach-

Butler: -looks in, gawks-

Minerva & Reece: FUCK OFF.

Butler: -scrambles away-

Minerva & Reece: -ready to spring at each other again-

Butler: -returns with Kelvin, and together restrain the two-

Minerva: -purrs- See, Reecie? I got Artemis's bodyguard.

Reece: -screams and slaps her-

Minerva: -kicks Reece in the shins-

Butler & Kelvin: -put the both of them in harnesses and ship 'em off to Greenland-

Artemis: -walks in, wonders where Reece and Minerva are...-

-Fin

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Author's Hype:
I only just realized in the middle of writing this that I had no idea what Minerva's personality was like. XD How about that? Well, it's 10:04pm now on a Thursday night, I'm finished with my diet black cherry soda, and it's time I lay in bed and day dream until morning comes. Uh huh. Your humble author does not sleep. oo; I lie awake and watch the movies I direct (and sometimes star in) play on the inside of my eyelids. Of course, I end up going to sleep at some point, but man, it's always hours until then. Yeesh. Night readers. I wonder if readers actually read the 'Author's Hype' I do. If you read this, and decide to review, put in something that says 'I read the author's hype!' or something, sil vous plait. Haha.