Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has been published in any of Eoin Colfer's works.

In reply to reviews: I'm learning about the French Revolution in history class, so I added in the '...having day dreams of Sameul Ross guillotined' bit in there for fun. I think it's something Artemis would do. He's ultra-modern in everything else, that I can't see him getting a kick out of having someone killed by nano-machines or something. He'd want a good ol' fashioned decapitation. Yeah, sorry about the wait. It was the chore of having to create Samuel that kept stopping me. I kept thinking, 'oh, I'm going to have to spend an hour writing up Samuel before I can post... I don't want to do that... So posting can wait...' Yeah. Bekett is a lazy-ass, yes she is.

Artemis

Artemis paced Elizabeth's counselling office irritably while Elizabeth napped in her comfy office chair.

"I mean really," Artemis went on. "How can she stand that annoying, pompous, illiterate excuse for a homo sapien? He's more like a neanderthal, with that mutant phisique of his. Of course, this is only speculation. It has merely come to my attention."

"Mhm..." Elizabeth had her eyes closed and her back turned to him, pretending to pay attention. It wasn't as if she needed to. Artemis was doing a perfectly fine job of being both the patient and the doctor.

"These feelings are rational, even natural, wouldn't you say, doctor? Of course they are. They are my feelings, which have never been anything but rational. If they are then rational, why I do these rational feelings also tell me that I am being irrational? Because my feelings are rational, and they are telling me I am feeling irrational, that must mean I am irrational? Since when have I been irrational? I am anything but, if I say so myself. Which I do. Don't you think so, doctor? In the short time since we've begun these meetings?"

Artemis turned and picked up a sparkly rock Elizabeth used as a paperweight. He tossed it back and forth between his hands as he thought. "As I was saying, these feelings. It embaresses me to admit that I feel some protectiveness over Reece. But who wouldn't? A naive little slip of a girl to walk straight into the clutches of a 'big, bad wolf', so to speak, who wouldn't feel the moral responsibility to step in?"

Artemis paused, then grimaced. "Morals. That's a new concept for me, doctor, if you must know. At any rate, what shall I do about Reece? Doctor? Elizabeth?" He pivoted to look at her. "Are you sleeping? Why are you sleeping?" He glared down at her. "Elizabeth!"

The brunette stirred. "Mm, what? Session over?" She muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"No, the session is not over," Artemis seethed. "Have you been listening to a word I said? Isn't that in some code that you've signed and must follow?"

"Calm down, Artemis. I just woke up." She patted her curls into place, then teepeed her fingers and looked over them at him, smiling. "Yes and no. I didn't need to hear all of it after the first few minutes."

"Ah," scoffed Artemis. "Was my problem that trivial, that you had reached a conclusion in a matter of moments?"

Ignoring that, she continued. "It's obvious you are worried about your friend and don't want her to be taken advantage of. You may even be feeling some jealousy, as you haven't mentioned a reason as to why you dislike this Ross fellow so much."

"Because he is ignorant, he is incompetant, that promiscuous nymphomaniac. He is a scourge upon-"

"A valid reason, Artemis," she said calmly. "You probably feel Reece is being taken away from you. A good way to end the conflict would be for you to express your feelings to her-"

My rationally irrational feelings, thought Artemis, feeling childish.

"-and sort it out. If you wait, if you wait, the opportune time may pass you by. I don't think it will be any easier to explain when Reece's parents come back and you have to leave."

"Leave?" Artemis's thoughts screeched to a halt.

"Well, yes," Elizabeth said, looking puzzled. "I understood that the agreement was that you would coincide with Reece until her parents came back from their honeymoon. Do you not want to go back to your native Ireland?"

"Go back?" Of course not, Artemis shouted angrily in his head.

"Yes...? When are they coming back, do you know?"

"Who is coming back?"

"Mr and Mrs Stuart...?"

"Oh, yes, yes, of course. I am actually not aware of that, at this time."

"Oh." Elizabeth blinked. "Anyways, about Reece, it does seem as if you are jealous of Samuel. Maybe because he has the, er, bravura to act flirtatious toward Reece?"

"And you're saying I lack this, this courage? This nerve? This valor, this tenacity? That I am immasculine?"

"I didn't say that at all-"

"Goodbye Doctor." Artemis grabbed his briefcase and left. He would show her. He would show her, Ross, and Reece. He barely heard the sounds of his steps echoing in the empty hallways over the tumultuous thoughts running through his mind.

Reece

Reece looked up her laptop to see that Artemis had come home from his late appointment. He mentioned a doctor's appointment...? Something like that.

"Hi Artemis." No sooner had the words left her lips than Artemis's mouth was on hers, kissing her intensely. She froze, paralyzed with shock, then snapped out of it. She shoved him away.

"What the hell are you doing!"

She stood there, panting, face crimson. When he didn't answer, she ran to her room and slammed the door. Artemis slid down the wall to the carpet, raking his fingers in his dark hair.

"Damn..."

Author's Hype:

I'm getting so vain, I swear. I get four reviews less than two days after I post the next chapter, and my feathers puff out like a proud peacock. I just wanted to write another one, since I was ecstatic about the reviews. I don't ask for reviews, ever, so I get way excited when I get them. I don't ask for them because there are a ton of phenomenal authors who do, and they deserve them, but... It just takes away from their coolness to ask for reviews, I guess.

So, who liked this chapter? Hm? Shortest chapter yet, according to FF's word count. And we're getting into the M-rated now. Hopefully. Maybe. Since it's taken me ten chapters to do so. -sweatdrop- Who cares. It's been way fun writing all this, even if it's boring for some people who saw the M-rating and thought 'lemon-time!' Not that I haven't done that. XD

Ja ne!