Hey! So sorry it has taken me so long to update, I have just been super busy lately with uni work, but I managed to get this in. Guess what? I see Big Time Rush for the first time in 2 weeks! So excited, so this is a celebratory chapter (although it still is angsty lol) Enhoy!

When I woke up that morning I was still laying in James's arms . I shook him awake and then we went to wake the other two. We didn't scold them for not getting up for their shift becuse in reality I had enjoyed spending the night in James's arms and I don't think the others would have let me live it down if they were to walk in on that. I didn't bring up the fact tha James had told me sometimes he thought of dying and he didnt bring up my parents. We both knew that what we revelaed was meant to be kept within the constrains of that night. What had needed to be said was already said. We simply ate some breakfast in silence while the other two rambled on about how we were going to get to the lake by the afternoon.

"It's suppose to rain tonigt, so I wanna get to the lake as early as we can, otherwise it will get allmuddy and slippery" said Kendall

"What's your plan?"

"We don't take any breaks, we keep moving until we get there" Kendall answered.

"Kendall, this was supposed to be a fun trip, not boot camp" Carlos complained.

"Yeah, well maybe it shouldn't be fun, we're going to find a dead body for fuck sake" Kendall retaliated.

I suppose he was right. We did in fact come on this trip to find remains of someone we didnt even know, someone who had been kidnapped and probably tortured for all we knew, I mean they had kept him all these years for some reason. We didnt have any right to be having fun. Suddenlygetting a huge reward wasn't so important. I just felt like Dear Johnny deserved to be found. So without another word, the four of us continued on our journey.

...

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me nowww" James and Calos chourused together out of tune while they skipped along the trail.

"Idiots huh?" I laughed, lookig at Kendall.

But as I looked over I saw Kendall had somewhat started to trail behind. He looked like he was in pain. He looked up when he heard my voice and tried to hide the pain.

"Kendall, man, what's wrong"

James and Carlos must have heard me, because they stopped their singing and turned back immediately. They walked back towards us as we all kept our eyes on Kendall. He started walking again, pretending he was fine.

"Kendall" James put a hand out to stop him from going any further.

"What?" he questioned dumbly.

"Why did you just look like you were in pain"

"I've been in pain this whole time and now you notice" Kendall mumbled

"Huh?" Carlos asked

"I'm not in pain, I'm fine, lets keep walking" Kendall answered. But I had heard what he had really said, and I hated to admit it, but I think we all knew why Kendall was in pain

"Where's the bruise this time?" James bluntly asked.

Kendall knew he couldn't get away from this. He knew we all knew about what his mom's boyfriend did to him. There was always new bruises, he just didnt't like telling us about them until one of us actually brought it up. He slowly lifted up his shirt to reveal a nasty blue and purple bruise lining his whole stomach.

"Holy fuck, that sick bastard has gotta stop!" shouted Carlos

"Los, calm down,he's given me worse"

I hated to think what 'worse' Kendall was referring to, because this was sure as hell as bad as I had ever seen him.

"Sit down" I told him. And he did. Just like everyime this happened. And I was alwys prepared, because frankly it was starting to happen a little too often. I took my bag off my back and got out the stuff I needed to help Kendall, I went about my business while everyone remained quiet as a mouse. And after I bandaged Kendall up I silently asked him if he wanted to keep going. I saw the look in his eyes and knew he needed this more than any of us.

"Let's go. Kendall's all bandaged up so it won't be as painful for him" I told the others

We all headed on our way, this time no sounds of Carlos and James's out of tune singing or any laughters and smiles. Just Kendall looking over at me with a reassuring smile and a "you're gonna be a great doctor one day Logie"

...

Clouds had started to form, and I knew the impending storm wasn't far away, but I kept my mouth shut, because I wanted to find Johnny just as much as the others now. A little rain wouldn't hurt. And we were almost there. The rain managed to hold off until we got to the lake.

"Guys, I can see the lake, we're there!" Carlos called. And he was right. There the lake was and sure enough, there was Crazy Pete's house right down the path. The place we wanted to avoid.

"So, now what?" asked James.

Kendall walked closer to the lake and a loud clap of thunder sounded. The second it did, it was like Kendall was told by the God's or something where to start looking. I thanked God it was as far out of Crazy Pete's view as possible "Here guys, we gotta start looking here. Dig." And so we did.

We had been digging for a while and had come up with nothing. The rain was coming down hard now, but that wasn't going to stop us from finding anything so we kept going, but then James started to act stupid like he always did. Jumping on rocks and dancing around on them.

"James stop it, your gonna get yourself killed" Carlos shouted across to him.

I froze. I looked at James and knew exactly the magnitute of Carlos's statement. 'Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die?' James had asked me that very question the night before, and now he was teetering with death. I couldn't do anything, couldn't tell him to stop, because I had wondered about death myself and I couldn't let myself take this away from him. The feeling of being on the edge, something I myself had wanted to experience. And deep down I knew James had exceptional balance, even in the rain, so I wasn't worried. It seemed like Kendall wasn't too fussed either, he just kept digging, trying to find some part of Dear Johnny.

That was until James had slipped. Kendall stopped digging immediately. LuckilyJames had regained his balance and was standing back on the rock. We thought he was going to come back to the shore, it was getting slipperier and the water was rushing faster because the rain wasn't letting up. He was getting too close to death now, he needed to stop.

"James, I am not fucking kidding, get back here now, do you want to die?" Carlos gave a panicked shout. James didn't answer, just kept mucking around on the rocks. Almost like he really did want to die.

"James, seriously, Carlos is right, get back here" the ever leader Kendall announced. James still wouldn't come. It was like nothing we could do or say would make him not want to risk his life. Like he didn't even care anymore.

"Oh for fuck sake!" Carlos yelled, as he hurtled over to get James to grab him back to shore himself. Nobody ever knew Carlos possessed that much strength. He grabbed James and all but threw him back onto shore, being absolutely fed up with James's behaviour. We were so glad that James was back on shore that we hadn't bothered to notice Carlos struggling to get back over himself. And as we were helping a somewhat angry and a little bruised from the fall James up, we heard Carlos scream.

"Guys!"

We turned around. Carlos had slipped just like we had feared James would. He was caught in the stream and was dangerously close to drowning.

"CARLOS!" we all simultaneously screamed for him. James tried to lean in to reach him but to no avail. We all tried, but we simply couldn't get to him. All of a sudden we lost sight of him. We all panicked and started running along the lake. Until I saw Crazy Pete grab Carlos out of the water by his arm. Carlos was spluttering everywhere while kicking and faliling trying to get away from Pete. He clearly hadn't realised that Pete had just saved his life. Apparently neither had James or Kendall.

"Let him go, let him go!" James screamed. Pete just looked me straight in the eye and kept hold of Carlos trying to calm his terrified form. And I just stared straight back, completely still. What he didn't realise was that it was him Carlos was scared of. But nonetheless, he would not let Carlos go.

Kendall pulled out the gun and shot it in the air and then pointed it at Pete.

"Fucking let go of my friend right now!" Kendall screamed. It was right about then I snapped out of my trance.

"Kendall, what the hell are you doing?!" I yelled at him.

"Shutup Logan, I'm not going to shoot, I just want him to leave us alone" Kendall said so only I could hear. James simply looked stunned that Kendall actually shot a gun and Carlos looked even more scared because he wasn't aware Kendall even had the gun. I knew Kendall wasn't going to shoot at Pete, not only because Pete was still holding Carlos, and shooting him would risk shooting Carlos, he just wasn't that kind of person. And apparently Pete was aware of this fact too and simply turned away and walked towards his house with a now stunned still Carlos.

The whole three of us ran after him after we had regained our composure. The others worried what Pete would do, me just worried whether or not Carlos was okay. Pete had left his door open for us to enter and by the time we had come around and gotten there, Pete had Carlos on the couch in a blanket and was making him a wam drink. We ran in straight towards Carlos, hovering around him. Pete came over with Carlos's tea.

"I'll get you boys some nice, dry clothes". He gave Carlos the drink and headed up stairs.

"Are you okay?" James asked as he ran a hand through Carlos's sopping wet hair. James always got like this when one of us was hurt. All lovey dovey and mom like. He was good like that. Which was strange considering nobody had ever done that for him.

"Uh huh, just cold." Carlos shivered.

Kendall sat at Carlos feet, still loking stoic. Pete returned downstairs with fresh, dry clother for the four of us. Carlos, James and I took the clothes gratefully and thanked him. James offering up an apology, telling the man he had thought Carlos had manged to get out himself and that Pete was after him for some reason. When Pete had asked why we were so scared of him, we simply shrugged and didn't answer his question. Kendall however, was a bit more hesitant with taking the pyjamas. He eyed the man carefully and Pete pushed the clothes towards Kendall again. Kendall finally took them but did not drop his gaze. We all got changed as Pete went to go make 3 more cups of tea for us. We all snuggled on the couch together, huddling Carlos with the blanket over us. As Pete came over with our drinks, Kendall finally spoke to him.

"You're Dear Johnny's father aren't you. These are his clothes aren't they?" The whole three of us looked at Kendall and Pete whose eyes were locked onto each others. We had not known how Kendall had come to this conslusion. Just because Pete had young boys clothes, but with no young boys living in the house, that didn't mean he was Dear Johnny's father. But alas, Pete just looked at Kendall and nodded his head.

"I am goingup to bed boys, here are some pillows and blankets" he said after pulling out some sleeping stuff from a closet. We took them from him with thanks and laid down to go to sleep. Carlos and James were out like lights. Kendall and myself however, were different stories. We were both rattled about what had happened tonight. We had almost lost our best friend and found out that Crazy Pete wasn't so crazy afterall. The reason he was always cooped in his house all day and only came out at night was because he was still grieving his son.

"Loge" I heard Kendall whisper.

"Yeah" I probed

"I found him. It was his whole body, just without his arms, even his head was there. I saw it right before James slipped. It was right there in the dirt"

"Well, I suppose that's good, we can call the police tomorrow about it and get them to come get him". I had really said that because I thought that was what Kendall wanted to hear. After all that was why we had taken this trip. To find the remains and reep the rewards from it . It's not what I wanted to do though, I didn't feel right doing it anymore.

"Nah. I say we take Pete there in the morinng and bury him again. Give him a proper goodbye ya know?" I smiled at Kendall, glad that he agreed with me. We were pretty sure Carlos and James would be okay with that too. So, with lighter hearts, we both fell asleep within 10 minutes.

...

The next morning, Pete had made us breakfast and offered to give us a ride back into town. We happily accepted but not before telling him what Kendall had found and what we wanted to do. Pete had cried and hugged Kendall tight, thanking him for finding his boy. He also cried at the fact that his boy had been so close to him. His boys killer had been right near his house not so long ago. If he had only known.

James and Kendall buried Johnny back in the ground while Carlos and I talked to Pete inside about his son and what a great kid he was. He wasn't even a kid anymore. I was thankful I hadn't seen him but Kendall had said he looked like a fully grown man now. They came and got us when they were done. We had a small ceremony for him and Carlos laid flowers he had grabbed on his way over to put over the dirt. It felt good to put Johnny to rest and finally give Pete closure.

Pete drove us back into town and dropped us off at the store because we told him we could walk from there. We all headed home together, the last place any of us really wanted to go, but we knew we had to eventually. James and Carlos turned off to their homes and it was just me and Kendall.

"Hey Kendall. I'm glad we went. I had a good time this weekend. Despite what we were doing."

"Yeah, me too Loges. It was cool, us buddies hanging together without all that shit our stupid parents bring" he replied and I silently nodded in agreement.

"And Loges, remember what I said. You go to that school and you become a doctor, one of us needs to get out of this town" he smiled and walked on home.

I have never taken a bit of advice more seriously. Right in that moment Kendall Knight changed my life. It didn't matter that when I walked into my house, greeting mymother who hadn't seen me in nearly 3 days, she completely ignored me. Because for the first time since Ben had died, I felt worth something. Because of Kendall Knight. The only other person to ever make me feel that way was Benny himself, so it felt good to have someone else that could now that I no longer had my brother.

...

We saw each other throughout that summer. Hanging out at the new place that Pete had told us about. He told us that Johnny and his friends use to use it all the time as their hangout. It was old, but still in way better condition than our clubhouse, and it was sure far enough away from our parents to be good enough. We spent most of our summer there or going to visit Pete down at Lake Keddy. All in all, it was the best summer of my life.

Even if it was the last one I spent with the best friends I ever had. In the September, I had gone to that school for the gifted, and the scholarship had in fact afforded me to board. I saw the opportunity to get away from a bad home life and I took it. I only came home for Christmas that first year and never once again. I spoke to my mother occassionally because she had started to get better, she even told me she missed me, but that wasn't enough to bring me back. That sadly meant that I never really spoke to Carlos, James and Kendall again. They went about their lives and I went about mine.

Today was the first time I'd seen them since that summer. And I didnt't even get to see Kendall.

And finnito! Well not exactly, that's just the end of the adventure. There will be an epilogue back in the present day. Hope you liked it :) Sorry for any mistakes, I typed this up on my iPad because my laptop was being a bitch.

Anyways, review if ya want, or not, whatever floats your boat.