Be Jane
Though the curtains are closed, you can feel the morning sunlight gleaming down on the sheets covering your body. And you feel … an arm? Something wrapped around you. You open your eyes to see the face of none other than Dirk Strider staring right at you.
"Dirk! Goshdon'tdothat!" You squeal, "I'm still not used to you actually being here. Just, wow. I thought you're a late sleeper."
"It's a bit hard to with such a hot piece of ass laying right night to me." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, making you burst out in laughter.
"Well, this … hot piece of ass … is going to take a shower." You say, climbing over him to make your way to the bathroom.
"Alright, I'll be in there in a few minutes."
"You wish." You say as you close the door behind you.
Be Dirk for a little while longer
You tentatively decide to turn the wifi on on your shades. You slip them onto your head and start them up. Roxy doesn't take much time in pestering you.
TipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
TG: where in the fuck have you been
TT: Woah, manners, rolal.
TG: seriously dirk you havent answered me in two days
TG: youre scaring jake too
TG: poor sweet jake
TG: and janes prob super worried too
TG: I dunno
TG: she didnt message me yesterday
TG: but she said she was gonna be busy
TG: she was prob working
TG: but you mister
TG: you dont have a job
TG: so whats goin on with you
TT: Hey, I'm pretty damn famous, give me some credit for my work, Roxy.
TG: no way in hell
TT: Roxy?
TT: Are you sober?
TG: dont remind me
TG: stone cold sober for at least a day
TG: rose wont shut up
TT: Wow, I'm sorry, rolal.
TG: if youre sorry then tell me where the fuck you ran off to
TG: youre the one that fucking did this to me
TT: I can't.
TT: You'll get really angry.
TG: im already pissed
TT: But you'll be even more pissed.
TG: i doubt its possible
TG: now fucking tell me
TT: No.
TG: dirk dont think i wont fucking hack my way into your gps
TT: Don't.
TG: too bad
TT: No, seriously Roxy, please don't.
You try to shut down the wifi, but everything except Pesterchum is frozen on your end. You let out a loud couple of curses at Roxy, and await her inquisition.
TG: what are you doing in atlanta?
TT: I'm at a con.
TG: theres no way in hell im believing that shit
TT: Well, it's true.
TG: okay
TG: why else are you in atlanta
TG: tell me dirk
TG: you know ill find out
TT: No, you won't.
TG: so there is another reason
TT: No, you won't find out, because there is no other reason.
TG: like hell
TG: fine dirk
TG: w/e
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
You sigh in relief, knowing she's finally gone. At that moment, Jane steps out of the bathroom, her hair still damp and clinging to her face.
"Hey, I heard you yell, everything okay?" Jane says as she makes her way to her bag to retrieve a set of clothes.
"Yeah, I'm—" You're interrupted by the Pesterchum notification. Shit. Fuck. Jane distracted you from turning off the wifi connection.
TG: YOURE IN ATLANTA WITH JANE?
TG: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO
TG: YOU COULDNT EVEN TELL YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIENDS
She apparently got a hold of the cam. You knew it was going to end up backfiring when you installed that piece of shit.
"Roxy found us out," You say, "Say hi."
TG: youre damn fucking right i found out
TG: put me on call or whatever
TG: can you do calls on those things
TG: what the fuck am i saying
TG: you can do just about anything with those things
"She wants to go on call, you okay with that?" You ask, Jane nods glumly, still trying to figure out what exactly is going on. You reluctantly send a request to Roxy, which is quickly accepted.
"I can't fucking believe you two." Roxy begins, "Do you know how, just, heart breaking this is? I thought you two were my best friends, other than Jake, can I just not trust anyone ever? Or am I just such a terrible friend that you don't want to actually tell me anything important. Of course I'm not important to you. I'm not important to anybody. I'm sorry I'm making this about me, but why shouldn't this be about me? It's about all of us, right? All of us being friends? I'm sorry I have such a hu-u-u-uge drinking problem, but you know what? I'm not. Because it helps me cope with everything I have to fucking deal with. Like this shit right here. Want to know what I'm doing right now? Making up the first batch of margaritas I've had in two days. You were worrying me that fucking much, Dirk. And Jane? What the actual fuck? You actually lied straight to me. Okay, well, you didn't really lie, but you told me you'd be busy, and you didn't think it would be important to say, 'yeah, Rox, I'm heading over to Atlanta to meet the guy I've had a fucking crush on for forever'? Wait, shit, Dirk you didn't hear that, I'm sorry Jane. But honestly, Dirk likes you, too, so just fucking get to it already. I mean, I don't really care that you guys are meeting up without me, 'cause I kinda figured we'd all meet at some point, but you couldn't just fucking come out and say it? Maybe we won't ever meet up, 'cause apparently this friendship isn't worth it."
"I'm so sorry, Roxy." Jane whispers, you look up from the carpet to see tears falling down her cheeks. You rush over and pull her into a hug. Her body shudders in your arms as she repeatedly apologizes to Roxy through her sobbing. You rest your chin against her hair, and rub her back soothingly.
"Awe, shit, Janey, are you crying?"
"Look, Roxy. It's not like we were never going to tell you. We just didn't know how to, I guess? We just … Okay, you knew we like each other, so obviously we really wanted to do this."
"Jane, I'm sorry, stop crying, I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I'm just mad at you guys. It's not your fault. Jane, stop, if I have to keep listening to you cry, I'm going to cry."
"No, Roxy," Jane sniffles, having trouble letting the words out, "I'm a terrible friend and I should have told you and I didn't and I'm really just a terrible friend and I'm sorry."
"Jane, don't say that." You tell Jane when she looks up at you, you plant a kiss on her forehead, she leans back onto your chest.
"Wo-o-oah, did I just see a smooch go down? Did that just happen?"
"Yeah, she's mine now, hands off."
"Damn, no lesbian action after all. Oh well, now I can turn my full focus to the courtship of mister English."
"Good luck, Rox." You chuckle.
"It ain't about luck, Strider. It's all about technique. You would know."
"Right, so are we cool, then?"
She sighs loudly, obviously trying to make it seem like she hasn't made up her mind, "Yeah, whatever, but you got to cam with me at least once."
"Neither of us brought a computer." You tell her flatly.
"What the hell, Strider."
"Sorry, Lalonde, it is what it is."
"Fine, call me again." She huffs, "Bye, Jane, Dirk. Have … fun." She giggles for a second before hanging up. You peel off your glasses and toss them on the bed.
"You good?" You ask Jane. She's rubbing her eyes and her nose is red, but she seems to be alright.
"Yeah, I just, ugh, I should have told her." She buries her face in her palms.
"Yeah, I know, babe."
Be Jane again now that that fiasco is over.
Even though you wore it all day yesterday, Dirk convinced you to wear the dress again. You're a bit flattered when you find out he has some dressy clothes packed away in his bag. Though it's not much, when he slips into the nice dress pants and the button up shirt, you feel like a perfectly matched pair. You feel a bit uncomfortable going out with so much skin exposed, but you do it anyway, to make Dirk happy.
The two of you wander around the con for quite some time, Dirk insists on stopping to get a lot of pictures with cosplayers. He even meets a couple of his fans, at that point you retreat into his shadow as much as you possibly can, embarrassed to be associated with that in any way. You find an artist selling some amazing Problem Sleuth fanart that you decide to purchase without a second thought.
"Are you going to see him at three?" The guy wonders as he drops the change into your palm.
"Who?" You ask mindlessly.
"Andrew Hussie." He says, "He's doing signings everyday."
"Really?! Thank you, I had no idea!" You say excitedly, clutching the small poster to your chest, "I'm going to get him to sign this for me."
"Cool, I'm flattered," The guy grins. You leave the booth with Dirk, clinging to his arm in excitement.
"Did you hear that? Hussie's going to be here!" You squeal.
"Yeah, I heard him, I was standing right next to you." He grins at your fangirling. It's the first time he's seen you hyped up about something that wasn't related to an oven.
"Oh, golly, this is so exciting!"
"Hey, chill, there's still three hours. Why don't we get something to eat?"
"No, we have to go get good spots in line."
"Okay, can I get something for us to eat while you pitch a tent in line?"
"Good plan. I'll meet you there!" You skip off to find the the line-up for this shindig. It doesn't take you long, with such determination, you'd be surprised if it had. There's already quite a few in line before you, but that's relieving; you'd rather not be the very first.
By the time Dirk finds you, you've taken to sitting on the floor and leaning up against the wall. He slides down the wall next to you, plopping a pizza box onto your lap.
"Thank you Dirk for this delicious meal we are about to consume." You smile as you open up the box to reveal a steaming cheese pizza.
"Amen." He tears a slice from the box and shoves almost half in his mouth. You don't bother to slow him down, you're too caught up in your own slice. The gooey cheese makes your mouth water as you shove it in. You're finished your first piece almost as quickly as Dirk.
The two of you quickly finish off the entire pizza, unfortunately.
"So, what are we going to do after we waste our lives waiting in this line?" Dirk asks you.
"I wouldn't call it a waste," You say, "But I thought you would have an idea."
"Not really."
"That's unfortunate." You rest on his shoulder, "There isn't a panel or anything you want to see?"
"Not really."
"Well, aren't you such a bore?!"
"What about you, little missy!"
"What about me?"
"There isn't something you want to do?"
"We're doing what I want to do right now. I'm going to meet Andrew Hussie."
"Best way to spend three hours; sitting in a hallway for three hours so you can briefly meet a famous person."
"It is the best, isn't it?" You chuckle.