The Darkest Realization: Merlin

In the dark, the flames surround him. The roar of the flame consumed him, and the heat blistered him, but there was no light. No hope. Merlin was lost and desperate, the pain that consumed him was unrelenting. He was burning from within. He could hear Arthur; his voice rising and falling above the thunder of his pain. He followed the familiar cadence of his speech as the only recognizable comfort in his dark hell.

To his despair, he felt someone lift his head. He knew they were being gentle, but the pain intensified until he screamed in pure terror. A cool liquid was pouring into his mouth and he swallowed reflexively. The blessed coolness made him greedy, as he tried to drink more.

"Easy," said a soft feminine voice that he did not recognize. "Take just a few sips: it will soon help with the pain."

"How long till it helps?" Arthur's tone was clipped.

"Not long, sire. A few minutes perhaps. You must understand Arthur, this is magical injury and the treatment is distinct from more regular healing. I will do my best to ease his suffering. But I will have to use magic, my Lord."

There was a silence and Merlin could feel his friend trying to regroup, to compose his thoughts.

"You," he paused as if gathering strength, "you speak of easing his suffering. Are you trying to say that...Is this a mortal wound my lady?" The tone of Arthur's voice tore at him. Was he dying?

"I cannot lie, Sire. It was a powerful spell that has attacked your friend, Merlin. It is very serious." Her words were dark but her voice was kind. "He is young Arthur, and his magic is very strong...

"And Alice is very skilled, " interrupted Gaius. He could hear Gaius and Arthur speaking, but as they had moved away, but Merlin couldn't understand them any longer.

The pain was letting him go. The burning was fading, replaced by a relentless exhaustion. It reminded him of when he overextended his magic. But the release from pain was blessing enough. He forced his eyes open, gazing up at the gentle , wrinkled face of the healer, Alice.

"Thank you," he whispered. She tipped another small sip of the cool liquid into his mouth and he swallowed gratefully.

"Arthur." To his embarrassment, he sounded almost plaintive, but the thought fled as his king moved into his field of vision. Arthur looked exhausted and even a bit frightened. There was a darkness in his eyes that disturbed him,and then, suddenly, Merlin remembered. Morgana, the moor, the lightning and his instinctive reaction. He had used magic in front of Arthur.

"Arthur!" he cried out in anguish. "I'm sorry, Arthur. I wanted to tell you, I did. His head started to spin. "I didn't want to lie, but Uther, and then... Arthur,please. " His confusion and pain were rising, threatening to overwhelm his tenuous hold on consciousness. Vaguely, he knew they were trying to calm him, but he was completely possessed by his fear. It leapt at him out of the dark of his pain. He jerked, trying to sit up, but the burning blazed up in his hand again and he felt the oblivion licking at the edges of his vision. He heard himself scream and he couldn't stop himself. He sobbed out incoherent pleas for mercy, but all he could see was the nightmare of his revelation in that last moment. He was caught in the moment, when his magic turned to betrayal in the eyes of the king, whose life he had just saved, when the eyes of his friend became the eyes of a stranger. He prayed for oblivion, but the burning consumed him to ash. He begged for forgiveness, but the dark ground him into nothingness. Gradually, the hellish thoughts dimmed their attack, the relentless pain was dulling and he could breathe again. He was being held, gently. His head was cradled on someone's shoulder. He could feel his body shuddering, the trembling deep in his core, as his breathing eased a bit.

He heard Alice's soft voice chanting a spell and Gaius murmuring along with her. This time the sip of cool liquid was like ice. He swallowed once more. The burning in his chest and hand faded to bearable levels and he could see again. It was Arthur who was beside him. It was Arthur who was holding him. His eyes were clear, as they held his own steadily.

"I told you before, idiot. Try not to move. I know what I'm talking about". He smiled. Merlin was beyond words. His face was wet with tears. Strangely, Arthur kept talking. "You saved my life, Merlin. I saw you use magic to save my life." Alice tilted another freezing sip of liquid into his mouth. He felt himself slipping away, but he fought his eyes open, focusing on Arthur with all his remaining strength.

"You saw my magic?"

"Your secret is safe with me, Merlin" the king promised. Relief flooded the warlock. Hope, so long neglected, sprang to life with his words. He saw no shadows in Arthur's eyes. That was impossible, but he didn't care.

"Really?" he whispered as his awareness faded away.

In his heart, Merlin believed the comfort of Arthur's words. In the torturous darkness,Merlin held on to hope and it again took the form of Arthur's voice. He refused the evil images of betrayal that had tortured him in his pain only moments before. He shoved his doubts aside, pushed away his fear of his revelation, as he swore to himself to stay with his king, his prince. Holding fast to his fragile peace, he fell into a dreamless slumber.

A/N Thank you, thank you, one and all for favoriting and following my story. I hope you are enjoying the double chapter format, with both Merlin's and Arthur's POV. I will post again perhaps mid week, because the next double chapter is fairly short.