Changed Forever: Arthur

Arthur slept for hours. He slept as only exhausted youth can sleep, deeply and completely. He had not slept in the terrible interval between the attack and Alice's arrival and he wasn't sure if he had slept in few starts since then. When he finally awoke, Gwen was seated on the bed next to him, gently stroking his hair. He smiled up into the tender warmth of her eyes, pulling her closer to him.

"He's still sleeping," she said quietly, before Arthur could open his mouth to ask. "Gaius is with him and Alice is asleep now as well. I just looked in and Merlin looks much stronger already, Arthur. Gaius said he tried to argue with him already about getting up."

Arthur nodded in relief. Her words relaxing him, as he let go of the fears that had possessed him for the last few days. He moved from his side to his back, so that he could gaze more easily at his beautiful wife. He was quiet for a long time, stroking Guinevere's hand, thoughtful.

"He swore me an oath," he said at last. " I asked him to stay and use his magic here, in Camelot, Guinevere." He shook his head in disbelief. "He swore me an oath, as if he were a king, and he sealed it with magic. I've never seen anything like it. I still don't know what to think." His voice caught in his throat. "After everything that's happened. After everything my father taught me, after the things I've done...How do I begin to understand that he's been my secret protector for years, Guinevere. For years. Since the day he set foot in Camelot. Think of all he's been through, saving my life, hiding his actions from everyone, bearing with my temper and my misunderstanding of what he was doing all the while. I loaded him with chores, made fun of him... " His self loathing crested as he choked on his words. "Gwen, he nearly died!" Arthur struggled for a moment, while his wife listened. "He could barely talk and to hear him offer his life to me...again." He paused, his eyes burning. "It was... I can't even find the words." he covered his eyes with the back of his hand. "Humbling" he whispered at last. He did not speak again for a long time, but he was pensive, still gently stroking his wife's hand.

"I don't know what I would have done if Merlin had died last night, " he began again with a fragile calm. "I don't know what I would be, what I might become.." he stopped in confusion. "It was that moment, Guinevere, when Merlin's heart stopped and I felt him just torn away, as if he were a part of me... I thought...and then Gaius brought him back and everything came right again. And then I knew Morgana was right..." He took a deep breath, looking keenly up into his wife's tender gaze.

"Don't go there Arthur," she said firmly. "Your heart is NOT broken. Merlin will live, and Morgana has failed again."

"Yes," he said softly. "Yes, Morgana has failed." The heaviness of those words sank into the silence between them. The moment lengthened into minutes, but Arthur remained pensive, his eyes in some far away place., Gwen stroking his hair. With a start he came back to himself. "Morgana has failed," he repeated softly, "but she does not know that yet. She probably believes Merlin is dead."

"And that Camelot has lost it's secret protector," added the queen.

He was silent again. Then he sat up suddenly, kissed his wife and crossed to the table to pour himself a cup of wine. His quick change of mood had startled the queen.

"As usual Guinevere, you have come to the point. What Morgana thinks she knows can be used against her." He popped a chunk of cheese into his mouth and readied a peice of bread for his next bite. "Call the knights for me, Guinevere, only the Round Table knights, I have an idea. I will need to talk to Merlin as soon as he is able. Tell the knights to meet me at the armory in an hour. It's the safest place for right now."

"What in the world, "started Gwen, but Arthur's smile was so high spirited that she could only grin in response.

" Morgana almost killed Merlin, and she tried to kill me too. She almost succeeded because she knows my habits, my ways. But I know her too,and so do you Guinevere. She may not be the Morgana who lived here in Camelot with us, but no one knows her better than we do. She's my sister!" He kissed Gwen with delight, marveling at her dimples." and one thing Morgana would never miss is a ," he paused for a fraction of a second, "a spectacle."

"What?"

But Arthur would give no more explanation. Guinevere went on her mission to summon the knights and the king attempted to revive himself. After a bath that was decidedly too cool for his taste, George not having Merlin's gift for keeping the bath water warm, Arthur shrugged into his chain mail with Guinevere's help. It's familiar weight made him feel bolder, more intact than the last few days had left him. Arthur gave thanks for Gwen's familiar expertise. Hand in hand they entered the armory, where the knights were waiting anxiously. They all began with questions but their voices stilled as he stood waiting.

"Merlin," he began once they were silent, but he paused looking at his knights. Gawaine's dark eyes were direct, his anger and worry focused down into a feral alertness. Elyan, steady and careful, fierce in his protectiveness, reached out and took Gwen's free hand. Percival looked hopeful, as if a good fight in the offering might steady his nerves. Tristan and Leon, serious as knives, guarded the door. "Merlin lives," he began badly., his voice stumbling. "He... he is recovering, but I have much to tell you and it is for your ears alone. Merlin's life is still in danger and Camelot stands open to attack by Morgana. I do not need your strength of arms, but the loyalty of your hearts."

The silence was deepening, as the knights looked at each other, and at Arthur.

"Merlin has magic." Arthur took a deep breath before he went on. "Morgana attacked us with a fireball, and Merlin stopped it. A second fireball reversed his spell and struck him. He saved my life with magic, but he was almost killed. He never saw it coming. He saved my life with a flick of his eyes. Merlin has been protecting me for years,protecting Camelot, in secret. With magic. Gaius knew all along, but he kept Merlin's secret. Merlin has saved all of us, even my father, who would have had him killed if he knew what he was. Think of all your lucky breaks in battle, each one of you. It was Merlin. Think about it."

Merlin, the manservant, Arthur's shadow, had magic. The boy with the friendly grin, the servant who stumbled down the stairs. Could Arthur be speaking of Merlin? Merlin! The boy who went with them into every single battle, fearless as any of them, with never a weapon at his side or armor on his back. Merlin, whose courage they all knew, whose kindness they had all experienced, who never gave up no matter how dark the day. Merlin, whose loyalty to Arthur bordered on lunacy? Merlin had magic?

Merlin, who was strangely wise and sad at the most essential moments, whose belief and strength of heart had carried all of them when it seemed Camelot was lost. Merlin, who disappeared at odd moments, who was always at the tavern, but never drunk. The faithful companion beside the king at the end of every harrowing battle. Merlin, their friend, had magic. Magic.

"If we are to defeat Morgana, if we are to bring her to defeat her attempts to take Camelot for her own, I will need Merlin at my side," said Arthur. The silence was long now, the implication striking home to each of the knights. The unspoken truth resonated with each of them. There was a change here, in the very soul of Camelot. A change they could have never guessed only moments before.

Gawaine smiled suddenly, tossing back his long hair as he shook his head in awed disbelief. Percival nodded, his eyes sparkling. Eyes met, and flickered back to Arthur's face. He saw only what he had expected, and his heart warmed to their loyalty to himself and to Merlin. Each of them knew that Merlin had fought beside them now for years, and his contribution came clear in a thousand forgotten details that surged into a picture they could not deny. To his shame, Arthur realized it took the knights less than a moment to come to the conclusion of loyalty that had cost him dear in struggle and pain. Maybe Merlin was right about him being a cabbage head.

"We understand, Sire," said Leon, speaking first as he looked around at his fellow knights. "Merlin has always been our brother."