Chapter 7

Behind the Shadow: Arthur

The knock on his door was quiet but firm and it swung immediately open at his response. Guinevere was asleep in the interior chamber, but Arthur was restless, poking at the fire, glancing at documents, searching for forgotten objects, he didn't know he needed. His heart fell when he saw it was Gaius, his lips set in a firm line, his expression quiet.

He opened his mouth to ask, but suddenly could not bring himself to speak. He looked away. He could not, he would never give that fear a voice again. He cursed himself for acting like a child.A moment more of safety was all he asked. His heart pounded.

"There is no danger, Arthur. Merlin is sleeping."

Relief flooded the king, but he did not dismiss the dark look in Gaius' eyes.

"Is there something the matter," he queried. He kept his voice calm, encouraging.

"There are things that you need to know, Sire. They are not my secrets to give, but time is short and Merlin needs every scrap of strength he possesses to face Morgana. I have come to tell you what I can." He looked with deep compassion at the young king, who sat listening to his words with a careful calm that would have made Uther proud. The king gestured at the enormous chairs before the fire. He poured a goblet of wine and handed it wordlessly to the old physician, and poured himself one as well. The silence was long between them. Gaius began at last.

"Merlin has done many things for you, Arthur. He has risked his life to defend you from Morgana and Morgause almost since the beginning. He has known about the danger from Morgana even from those first days he served you and he has fought against her more than once on your behalf already." Arthur's eyes were shuttered, careful. He took a drink of the wine, staring down into the cup as Gaius continued talking.

"He bears the scars, sire, that are the proof of my words, though I cannot tell you the tale in it's entirety. Merlin has stopped Morgana in her plans with Morgause many times. When your father was under the spell of the mandrake, Morgan and Morgause captured him, bound him in chains and left him to die, poisoned by serkets. He narrowly escaped with his life. He was stung in the mid back, sire, the track of the poison is clearly visible."

"Morgana captured him again a few months ago. You remember it well, Arthur. He was injured by a mace in an attack, and you were separated." Arthur remembered with a horrible hollowness in his chest, the scrap of jacket , stained with blood, resting on the table and Agravaine's quiet excuses. "She tortured him with a fomorrah, a creature of dark magic, and for a while she controlled his will. The scar is at the back of his neck, sire, a few inches across." Arthur struggled to conceal the shock as he recalled the second incident with clarity. Slowly, he understood that Merlin had been tortured by Morgana, more than once and recently. He felt revulsion.

"You have no need to convince me of his loyalty, Gaius," said Arthur softly. But his heart was raw with Gaius' words. Had Morgana been plotting against Camelot for so long then? Had Merlin fought against his sister in secret all these years? Merlin had been tortured? Merlin had been poisoned and left to die? There was a sense of disbelief, an almost impossible incongruity. Arthur kept listening, though his heart was already plunged into a maelstrom of shock.

"From the time, her magic awoke, Arthur, Merlin was warned of the danger she would become. But Morgana was his friend, and he could not bring himself to either hurt or encourage her in her magic. He fought her in secret as she changed, as she began to hate Uther and plot against Camelot, concealing his identity from Morgana herself, in order to remain at your side. At last, when the sleeping spell attacked Camelot, and you had gone out to fight the warriors of Medhir, Merlin was forced into the unthinkable. Morgana, herself, was the source of the sleeping spell; it was tied to her life force by Morgause." He paused; the king remembered that Morgana had been unaffected by the sickness, with no explanation. He shook his head in surprise. "The only way to break the spell was to kill Morgana. Merlin poisoned her, Arthur. He bargained with Morgause to break the spell at the price of Morgana's life and Camelot was saved." the silence between them was difficult.

"What it cost him to do such a thing, is so dark, I cannot bear to think of it, Sire. But it was done for Camelot. Whatever Morgana tells you tomorrow, you must not listen. Trust Merlin. I can say no more. "

The old physician's eyes were glinting with sadness now. Arthur saw the reflection of Merlin's suffering there. Gaius' revelation had turned the story he thought he knew into a tale of outright tragedy, a complicated tale of faith and friendship whose ending was still in doubt and driven by a terrible vengeance. So it was actually Merlin who saved the day, as he recalled the surprising end of the battle. But his heart stuttered at the terrible deed that Gaius described. He could hardly equate it with his perpetually late, good humored servant. His friend. But the old man was not finished and Arthur looked up again, his blue eyes half-stunned.

"Morgana did not know of Merlin's magic until now. It is the only thing that kept you both safe. He was merely a interfering annoyance, a serving boy whose loyalty and actions could not be explained, but the battle is now on a different level, my Lord. Morgana's need for revenge is deep and now she will know that Merlin is more than he seems. You must have confidence in Merlin now, as never before, Arthur, or it may cost him his life. I have come to warn you, because Merlin cannot and he probably would not, even if he could. The danger to Merlin is extreme. He will fight at your side, and he will not count the cost. You will not be able to stop him. There are still many secrets but whatever happens, Sire, you must trust Merlin. Do not believe anything Morgana says."

Arthur was literally struck dumb by Gaius' words. He knew he had mumbled some response and Gaius had left quickly, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He had sat numbly after he left for a long time. But dawn was slow in coming, as was his conclusion, and he was filled with warring emotions again, as he found himself once more at Gaius' door again. The old man was expecting him.

"I need to see," he said simply.

Merlin was still deeply asleep and all Arthur could see was a miracle, as he neared his servant. His face now a warm, living hue, his body relaxed and free of pain. He was sleeping on his side, breathing easily, and Arthur could hardly believe what he was seeing, his heart was still so tortured by what had happened the night before. But then he remembered his mission. Arthur pulled the back edge of the collar of his shirt down, and there was the scar, just as described by Gaius, at the base of his neck, a silver, almost surgical scar. He shook Merlin's shoulder gently, and he roused a bit, just as Arthur had hoped.

"Let me see," he said to his servant in his usual commanding voice and the boy responded almost immediately, although his words slurred somewhat.

"Go 'way, you prat. Tired." But Merlin didn't stir again, He slipped back into sleep knowing Arthur was there and any disturbance could safely be attributed to him. As he gently lifted his shirt, Arthur saw the scar of the serket sting itself,a rounded pit centered by twisted edges of flesh, knit together from the once necrotic edges of the wound. Darkened snaking scars marked the path of the poison from the wound into his body. He looked at for long time. How had Merlin survived? Beyond the shock of the proof of yet another battle fought for him, Arthur wanted to laugh when he recalled Merlin's tone to his long ago question about where he had been. "I was dying," and of course, Arthur had not believed him. He pulled the shirt down and placed the blanket over Merlin's shoulder as he sank down heavily, to sit by his friend once more.

The movement roused the warlock at last. "Arthur," he said, quietly. He reached out, as if to touch the king, but his hand fell sleepily to his side. "What's wrong?" he breathed, finally rousing to look into the King's eyes.

"Nothing" said the king, although he did not move his hand from where it rested on Merlin's shoulder. "A nightmare."

Yes, thought Arthur, a long, dark nightmare. And the weight of all this horror had been on Merlin.