Chapter One: The Flight

"Tony seriously, where are we going?"

A none-too-pleased Clint Barton asked this from his seat, shooting an improvised toothpick arrow at the billionaire he was questioning. The projectile barely missed its target forcing Clint to tighten his makeshift floss-and-straw bow in disappointment. There was a strict no weapons in the passenger area rule, so the archer had to make do with what he had.

"Yes Man of Iron, where is this great contraption taking us. Could we not have flown there ourselves?"

Seated at one of the tables positioned on the inside of his private jet, Tony chuckled to himself. Papers and handheld computers covered his table, but he took a break from his work to survey his companions around him. Every Avenger was present, flying in his private jet, but not a single one knew where they were going. That is, not a single one but Tony Stark himself knew. He preferred to keep this information secret to lord it over Barton with smirks and whispered phrases along the lines of "I know something you don't know." It was juvenile, but neither Tony nor Clint had ever tried to be the mature adults of the group. Even so, Clint was still anything but ecstatic about Stark's latest antics.

"No Thor we can't fly there. Certain supposed birds in our group seem to have failed to mention that they can't actually fly when they applied for this job."

"Hey I didn't apply for anything. You needed my help when the aliens came to invade, remember?"

Another "arrow" came flying through the air, this time hitting its target. Tony's nose was pricked with the pointy end of a toothpick.

"Shit Barton quit doing that! This nose is worth more than you can imagine."

"Ahh shut it." The archer grumbled from his seat. "Consider yourself lucky I'm only aiming for your nose and not your eyes."

Bending over, the brunette billionaire picked up the toothpick off the floor and threw it back at his assailant.

"Natasha restrain that beast before I'm forced to deal with him."

"Like you could take me without your suit on!"

Natasha looked up from the book she had previously been reading to watch the two men's pathetic fight unfold. She had purposely distanced herself from the men on this plane to avoid petty arguments like this, but it looked as if it was time for her to intervene. The world's dumbest blond and the goateed idiot were now jumping from chair to chair throwing anything they could get their hands on at each other. The biggest annoyance of their fight was not their sheer stupidity, but in fact the limited amount of seats for the two men to jump around in. Stark's jet being smaller than a commercial plane with floor space and luxuries taking place of traditionally cramped seats, there were only so many places Clint and Tony could hide from each other. It was inevitable that the redheaded assassin would have one of the two men's butts in her face at any given time.

Thor was standing by the door to the pilot's cabin, rejoicing in the joy he derived from his companions engaging in "glorious battle" and Steve was starting to look as if he was considering stepping in to break up the fight. This would, of course, only make things worse. The last thing Natasha wanted was for Tony and Clint to gang up on the super soldier in such a confined space. There really was only one thing that could be worse than that. At least they have enough sense to leave Bruce alone she thought to herself.

When Clint found more toothpicks to arm himself with Natasha finally stood up from her seat. She made sure to get to Steve first and let him know she would handle the issue, then she waited for her chance. Said chance came in the form of Clint, running past her to get to the seat she had just vacated. As soon as he was close enough she grabbed his makeshift bow and threw it in the trash. The other hand that wasn't occupied with Clint was knocking the soda can out of Tony's grip.

"Would you two just settle down already? Neither of you are who I'm supposed to babysitting on this flight."

As she scolded them, her eyes drifted over to where Bruce Banner was laying down. Ironically the calmest person on the plane, Banner was lounging across a couch reading Popular Mechanics, completely lost in his music.

"Oh relax ginger."

Stark casually brushed off Natasha's worries.

"Bruce is fine. I've got him hooked up with the latest in noise cancelling headphones, as many science-ey magazines as he could ever want, a direct line to the stewardesses, and do you see that covering him?"

Tony pointed towards the relaxing man, particularly towards the blue blanket like thing covering him.

"That is a Snuggie, the natural "Other Guy" deterrent."

Steve and Thor made questioning noises, but Clint just laughed.

"It's okay Nat. No one could be angry in a Snuggie, lame maybe, but not angry."

"See, everything is fine. Right Brucey?"

Genuinely proud of himself, the billionaire reached down and patted the shoulder of his partner in science. Bruce looked up to see the smile gracing the ever-tan face of Tony Stark and decided it would just be better to agree with whatever he had just said.

"Oh… uhh yeah."

"Fine, perfectly fine just as I said!"

Natasha rolled her eyes and went to sit back down in her seat. She was followed by Clint who hadn't quite forgiven Stark, but was done with the tomfoolery for now.

"Well maybe if you two would start acting your age, she would worry less."

For the first time, Steve finally chimed in to the argument.

"Sorry Cap, not all of us can be as old and mature as you are."

With that Tony went back to his seat. After a few seconds of searching he located the blueprints he had previously been studying and resumed his work.

"I thought your skirmish was rather amusing."

"Thank you Thor! I'm glad at least one person enjoys the strange farce that is my life with Barton."

A wad of paper flew up from the rear of the plane. It hit the back of Tony's head without even so much as straying from dead center. This time however, it was not thrown by Clint, but instead by Natasha. Tony whipped around to face the woman, who now showed the hint of a smile on her lips.

"What was that for Miss No-violence-on-the-plane?!"

"THAT'S MY GIRL! HA HA YOU HARRY BASTARD!"

Both Natasha and Stark ignored Clint's outburst.

"First off you've only had to spend extended time with Clint for that last few months. Second, if you had just told us where we are going all of this could have been avoided."

"Where would the fun be in that?"

A grin immediately spread across Tony's face. The billionaire just laughed, laughed right in Clint's face. The archer promptly responded with a lewd hand gesture and began to laugh with Stark. The man is a stupid asshole, but he's a funny asshole/friend Clint thought as he shook his head.

"Don't expect an answer from him Natasha." Steve chimed in, not surprised at all by his fellow Avenger's behavior. "He probably just decided to arrange this trip for no reason at all."

Steve, being well within reach of the mischievous Stark, had to deal with the engineer reaching out to press his finger's to the soldiers lips.

"Shush Steve, you sweet misguided old man."

Tony's hands were promptly pushed away.

"You're drunk Stark."

"On enthusiasm perhaps. Contrary to what you may believe this little quest of mine does in fact have a purpose and a fair amount of forethought."

"QUEST! Pray tell my friend do you mean to suggest we are embarking upon a noble journey."

Thor was once again excited. The prospects of adventure were just too much for him to take.

"Yes my large bearded friend I do mean to suggest. We are on a quest to discover the most elusive of truths."

The self-proclaimed genius took the liberty of creating a moment of dramatic silence. He stroked his prized facial hair and actually grabbed a drink as his companions waited for him to continue. Better make it two he thought it's going to be a long flight. After he finished indulging himself he finally proceeded.

"We are going to find out what really happened in Budapest."

Here we go. I've decided to delve into the realm of Avenger's fan-fiction. I hope it's not too horrible.