Ok, first thing to tell you, in this fic Jinx and KF are bunking in the Jump tower and are OH so together. But Jinx has a few issues.
"Hey Rave?"
"Jinx, I've told you a thousand times not to call me that." The pink haired sorceress rolled her eyes. The two mystics had come to an agreement, the Titan's towers needed proper metaphysical shielding, and Raven alone couldn't manage enough to protect against even half the problems that could be faced. So, Jinx would assist her in the shields every month, as a community service, part of her probation. They were sitting on the roof of the Jump City tower. It being the new moon, things were very dark. Not that either of them needed it, Jinx had excellent night vision and Raven's powers allowed her to sense things without using her eyes.
"I almost did it yesterday." Jinx said quietly, chalking the runes of protection for the ritual. Raven jumped internally, though she didn't move.
"You know it won't help them. It might let you escape the guilt, but you'll still have that weight on your soul. You really want to take that into your next life?" Jinx had told Raven how much it had hurt her to betray the HIVE. How much she hated herself for it, and how much of a hypocrite she felt for giving Cyborg the cold-shoulder for the exact same thing. She hadn't told her that she was depressed, in fact suicidal, but Raven had sensed it and confronted her about it.
"I know, but, I had the gun in my mouth, Rave, the safety off. I was so close. If Robin hadn't called at that moment it would have been done."
Raven sighed and took the chalk from her friend's hand. Funny, they really were friends now. Jinx had come to her to apologize for going into her room back in their first encounter. She said she didn't apologize for the wards she set or the fashion advice she'd given, of course. She'd also come to ask for help.
Raven wasn't the type to give advice. That was Starfire's forte. But she'd listened. Jinx had asked if she really had a chance. If there was really any way powers like hers could be used for anything but hurting people. Raven had had no answer at the time. She honestly didn't know. And she said that. But, she had said, people thought the same of Starfire's powers. That was different, Jinx replied, Starfire has super strength. Raven paused, thinking. It was true. Everyone else she could think of had some sort of practical use for their powers. Even herself. Jinx, her powers simply destroyed things. Of course, she pointed out, destruction isn't bad, nor is creation good. Jinx sighed, taking out a pencil and sketching. Raven asked what she was drawing. Jinx told her it was a luck web. She could read it after it was done to determine the effects of certain actions, but it took so long to both draw and read that she only used it for big things, like choosing to go with Kid Flash.
"Jinx. You cannot kill yourself. How selfish are you? You would hurt those boys again by dying, killing their one hope of freedom? You would hurt Kid Flash by killing yourself rather than being with him?" It was a rare occasion that Raven was so fierce about something, but suicide is just one of the things she couldn't sit back about. Her hand gripped the younger girls shoulder tightly. "I'm telling them about it tonight, when we get back"
Jinx looked terrified. She had tried to swear Raven to secrecy, but the half-demon refused. Eyes wide, her hands trembled, glowing slightly with power. "You, you wouldn't." But she knew she would. "Ok, but you have to keep them from yelling. And don't make me look anyone in the eye." She knew she would have to be there. She had to see their reactions. Not knowing would be worse. Raven promptly agreed and the two went about the warding in silence.
They went back inside and Raven asked everyone to come to the living room. After they were sitting down, well, everyone but herself and Jinx, Raven began.
"You all know that Jinx has recently gone through some big changes in her life." Smiles all around. Jinx clutched her hands tighter and stared at the floor. "And maybe I'm the only one who has noticed, but it isn't easy on her." The way she said it was accusing.
"That's not fair Raven; we've all been supportive of her!"
"Yeah, I even made her tofu burgers!"
"Man, that's not supportive!"
"She doesn't eat BEEF!"
"Ever heard of turkey burgers?"
"Cy, Beast Boy, I think Raven has something important to say here."
Raven shot an appreciative glance at Robin. "Yes, you've all been doing a great job making her feel like one of us." Cyborg and Jinx both flinched at the phrase, but Raven continued. "But none of us have bothered to remember who she left behind and how."
Starfire looked down and nodded. She understood and felt guilty.
"She, on the other hand, can not forget them. It's not healthy, and it's affecting her in ways that might be dangerous."
Robin and Kid Flash glanced at each other. "Dangerous how?" They asked in unison. Raven glanced at Jinx nervously, before opening her mouth to respond kindly.
"I tried to kill myself." Jinx interrupted, looking up for the first time since the conversation began. Starfire exclaimed 'no!', Beast Boy's jaw dropped and Robin was halfway to the phone to call a psychologist. "I'm sorry, it's just they were the closest thing to a family I ever had. When you turned on us" She said, turning an enraged gaze on Cyborg. "I told them it was the most despicable thing anyone could ever do, to betray people that called them friends. And what do I do? The exact same thing! No, worse!" Jinx was blushing furiously. "I got Gizmo and Mammoth sent to jail, broke my promise to Shimmer to look after her little brother and his best friend, and I get away scott free?"
Starfire pulled Jinx into a soft, amazingly, hug. "I know how you feel. When I banished my sister from Tameran, I was in much the same situation. I still feel guilty for it. But the only thing you can do is try to help them."
Jinx sighed. "I'm sorry guys. But, if Shimmer comes here to kill me, you can't stop her. I was supposed to take care of Baran and Mikron. She works for the Australian government, if she wants to kill me, she'll do it legally and…. I'm an IDIOT!"
Kid Flash grinned. "I thought that was my label"
Robin saw where this was going. "You give me a number to call and I can see about getting those two released into her custody eventually."
"I still feel like shit about this. Gods, I helped Blood with that stupid doomsday device out of spite." Jinx put a hand to her forehead.
"Well then, I think my main point here was that Jinx is clinically depressed with good reason, and will need support. More importantly, Robin, we now have a damned good reason for her and Kid Flash to share a room. It's not like being down the hall prevents them from doing what they're doing anyways."
"Mother of God, Rave! I would appreciate it if you would keep my sex life out of this?" Jinx glared at her. Robin looked about to faint.
"Well, the shields on the tower are up, right?"
whoo, that more than sucked, but hey, it was that or I start posting my AU story that is so far from ready that it would be a crime to post. Sp/Al shoudl eb updated this week guys!