Author's Note: Okay, sorry about the wait, as well as the fact that I basically gave you all nothing to work with in that first chapter. It was more of an experiment to see how much attention a project such as this would garner, and I gotta say that I'm loving the response. So, after a brief wait, I've figured out the rough direction this story will be headed down, and now hopefully, there won't be such long waits in between.

Who am I kidding? There will usually be long waits between updates. I've got other stories, and my muse is quite fond of abandoning me mid-chapter, so...yeah.

Anyhow, I've always been fascinated by Naruto and the horrible treatment he was subjected to as a kid, and we all know how screwed up he was because of that. So I figured, why not introduce a brotherly figure into his life? And then I thought, who'd be a good character to stick in there? Boom. Ichigo. And that's how this plot bunny came to be.

At first, I was thinking of using a de-powered Ichigo during the time-skip, but then I realized that there would be no fun in that (at least for me), and so I decided on a definitively AU Ichigo who had fought through the second Quincy war and won. Thus, I give you chapter two.

Disclaimer: Nothing I use in this story belongs to me. Not even the letters which compose the words you read. Nothing is real. NOTHING!

Warnings: This story assumes that you have basic knowledge of both the Naruto and Bleach universes, and there shall be some spoilers here and there. There will also be swearing (all the way from damn to cock-sucking, ass-licking Uncle-fucker), blood and gore, some adult situations, and Sasuke. You have been warned.

1/10/14: After receiving several helpful reviews, I've changed which Inner Spirit belongs to which blade. For the record:

Khyber Knife = Hollow-chan

Trench Knife = Ossan

You gotta figure out how ta do Hakufuku if the kid's still got this much energy after an A-rank, his Khyber Knife snarked from within his soul. Though this zanpakuto was essentially one spirit, his larger blade had taken the form of his old Hollow, while the longer one had copied the form his Quincy powers had once favored.

Hell, that's not such a bad thought, Ichigo replied tiredly as he left Naruto's room. The kid had more energy than frikkin' Yachiru on a sugar-rush.

I doubt your knowledge of Kido would allow you to reverse-engineer a mid-level Bakudo, the Trench Knife stated, always the voice of reason. At least, not without an unneeded explosion.

Ichigo chuckled, flopping onto the sofa bonelessly. Yeah, well, at least he's back safe. Naruto was really the only thing keeping Ichigo from going crazy in this world, and if he lost the boy the world might not survive him.

It had begun when he'd uttered the word 'Mugetsu' for the second time in his life. The Final Heaven Piercing Moon Fang was infinitely more powerful with Zangetsu's true form, and Ichigo had brought every ounce of his strength to bear against Yhwach in the final battle of the war against the Wandenreich.

And it had just been enough, with the help of his two inner spirits, to finally put an end to the great Quincy Emperor. But the power Ichigo had wielded when he became the Moon Fang had a dire price, even more costly than the original toll. Rather than being stripped of his reiryoku and all that came with it, the Moonless Sky had created a rip in the fabric of what Ichigo supposed was reality (he hadn't exactly gotten a chance to study it more closely, and even if he had, he was no Urahara), and Ichigo had been sucked into the tear before he'd really realized what was going on.

That was the price of his hubris, to believe that he could command such power at the drop of a hat, and he had been paying for it for close to four months now. It was extremely disorienting, being shoved into a different reality altogether. At least the people here spoke the same language he did, and they could even see him, so either this was another form of Soul Society, or he'd somehow acquired a body en route.

After waking up in a deep forest wearing a tattered shihakusho with his zanpakuto lying close at hand, Ichigo had trudged off and managed to learn a bit about the Realms of the Elemental Countries, as well as its inhabitants. He'd also gotten work easily enough, and it wasn't as if the farmers he helped minded all that much (or even realized) that he enhanced his body with reiryoku to get the jobs done faster.

All in all, it wasn't a horrible life. But when he lay awake during the nights, his thoughts drifted back to the life he'd left behind, to his family and friends that he would more than likely never see again. He hoped that with Yhwach gone and the Sternritter mostly demolished, they would finally have some semblance of peace for a few centuries.

However, things all changed when a certain maverick shinobi with bright blonde hair and a penchant for trouble-making literally burst in through his front window three months ago. Ichigo had given Naruto a good solid thrashing before hunkering down and helping the boy pick up the mess, and had then treated him to ramen, learning about the child's past and his goals for the future.

After digging around a bit, he learned from the other villagers that there was a demon contained within him, and that he was despised for it. This, of course, had pretty much cemented Ichigo as a constant fixture in Naruto's life, and after a few...minor altercations with some of the merchants whom Naruto did business with (as well as a few not so minor altercations with a few ignorant shinobi bastards), Ichigo became just as feared as the blonde jinchuriki, if not more so.

Sighing, he decided to make himself a cup of chamomile tea to calm himself down and perhaps distract himself from such introspective thoughts. At this rate, he'd end up a humorless sourpuss like Byakuya. Or even worse, Uryu.

After dropping the bag into his steaming mug, he turned to head back into the sitting room and maybe grab a book. Sadly, his plans were canceled when he saw a shinobi bearing the cloak and mask of an ANBU standing self-righteously on his sofa. The sofa whose cushions he'd just flipped, thanks to Naruto's messy eating habits.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," the figure intoned in a rough, yet undoubtedly feminine voice from behind a mongoose's mask. "Your presence is requested by Sandaime-sama post-haste."

"I don't give a flying fuck who requests my presence," Ichigo growled. "You're standing on my couch, asshole."

The mongoose's face turned down to inspect the offending piece of furniture, then back to Ichigo, and finally stepped off it onto the floor. "My apologies," Mongoose stated, unapologetic, and Ichigo would swear that he heard an unrepentant smirk in her voice. "However, I am here for a reason, which is to escort you to the Hokage Tower. Sandaime-sama is insistent that you meet with him."

Ichigo snorted in annoyance. He glanced forlornly at his cooling tea, then set it in the refrigerator before grabbing a jacket on the coat rack. "Come on, then," he grumbled, pushing his arm through the sleeve. "Let's get this over with."

Ichigo stared dispassionately at the old man across the desk, who did the same. The relic certainly had a damn good poker face, he supposed. They'd been sitting like this for over ten minutes, neither of them seeming to be willing to begin the conversation. And Ichigo was pretty sure that wasn't tobacco in the pipe he was taking deep pulls from every now and then.

Finally, Ichigo decided to bite the bullet. "I figured you'd have called me up sooner than this," he said in a bored tone. Sarutobi Hiruzen simply raised a curious eyebrow.

"Really?" he asked neutrally. "Not many foreign civilians expect to be brought in for a private meeting with the Hokage. Perhaps you've been doing something illegal?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of my association with Naruto," Ichigo shot back. "Either the ANBU are getting lax in following him around and reporting to you, or you're getting soft in your old age."

"Why would you assume Naruto is being followed by ANBU?"

"You think I'm an idiot?" Ichigo snapped. "Just 'cause I don't have a drop of chakra doesn't mean I can't sense it in others. And I've got eyes of my own, too. Your special forces are good, but they aren't that good. Besides, it'd be foolish of you not to have someone tailing a human jar for the most powerful demon in this world, and I doubt that this village would elect a fool as their leader."

Hiruzen's eyes narrowed, the first hint of emotion since the meeting had begun. "And how have you become privy to such information, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"You're a ninja, you figure it out," he answered with a slight smirk. "Change your appearance and go talk to some of the civvies. You'd be surprised how easily it is to get 'em to spill their guts about how they 'hate the Kyuubi with all their hearts' and how some of the merchants are overcharging 'that damn demon-brat' whenever he goes to buy food."

"They what?" Ichigo was honestly surprised at the amount of sheer emotion that dripped from those two words. Anger, disappointment, resentment, guilt, and sadness were all weighing down the Hokage's question, and Ichigo could sort of sympathize with the poor old duffer.

"You heard me," he said quietly. "You called me up here because of Hatake's report, right? Well, I'll tell you why I took an interest in Uzumaki Naruto. It ain't because I wanna kill him, or use him for my own nefarious purposes, or any other bullshit. I don't like jerks who alienate someone for something that is beyond their control. Bastards like that deserve nothing less than a savage beating."

Ichigo could see the effect of his words on the Hokage, who seemed to have aged ten years in the span of a few minutes. So Ichigo did what he always did: he went in for the for the finishing blow and drove the point home.

"But more than that, Naruto's a good kid. Yeah, he's a loudmouth with too little skill and way too much chakra for his own good, but his heart's in the right place, and he's sharp as a blade to boot. If someone nurtures his growth and shows him how to think for himself, then he'll grow up to be one hell of a shinobi. And if I have to be the one to do it, then so be it, since you and the rest of the village don't seem to give two shits for his well-being."

Sarutobi sighed, and in that single breath, Ichigo felt a lifetime's worth of regrets, all the should-have-could-have-would-have that was crammed into the puff of air.

"I've always considered myself a sort of grandfather-figure to Naruto-kun," the old man began, then chuckled bitterly. "What kind of grandfather allows his grandson to be treated so, by those he protects and governs no less?"

Ichigo opted not to answer that obviously rhetorical question.

"Much of Naruto's history and genetic lines are classified under the highest security levels, if you were unaware," Sarutobi continued.

"Yeah, I wondered about that," Ichigo said quietly. "No matter how much digging I did, I never could get a straight answer as to who his parents were, but...well, it isn't exactly rocket science to figure it out. His mom was easy enough to find, since there's only one Uzumaki in the whole village in the last few decades or so, and his dad...well, his face is carved into the side of a frikkin' mountain, not hard to find that guy."

Ichigo was almost impressed when the Hokage gave no outward indication of surprise that Ichigo had discovered Naruto's lineage except for a minute tightening of the lines around his eyes. It helped that Ichigo had learned to read people as well as any book; motivation wasn't hard to find when the difference between life and death was a quirk of the lips or a twitch of a finger, after all.

"I see that you're more perceptive than my ANBU have given you credit for," the aging shinobi finally complimented with a slight nod of his head. "Indeed, Naruto-kun's mother was Uzumaki Kushina, the Bloody Habañero, and his father was Namikaze Minato, the Yellow Flash. With such high-profile parents, both of whom had racked up a staggering body count in the last war, you can see why I was hesitant to make such knowledge public."

Ichigo nodded in understanding; if someone with an axe to grind with Kushina or Minato had gotten wind of Naruto's identity and location...well, he could see the prudence of the decision.

Sarutobi leveled a calculating gaze upon Ichigo that would have made Urahara green with envy, then spoke. "What I am about to tell you is beyond top-secret. There are less than a handful of people who know this. Before the Nine-Tailed Fox ravaged Konoha twelve years ago, it had been sealed within Naruto-kun's mother, and before her, its host had been the First Hokage's wife. Nobody really knows for certain how the beast was freed, but Kushina and Minato sacrificed themselves and their son to save the people of this village." His face gained a disgusted cast as he added, "And those same people are doing nothing but spitting in the face of their sacrifice."

"Well, then why don't you tell 'em all that Naruto's a hero and all that mushy good stuff?" Ichigo asked sardonically, knowing the answer before it was given.

"Because the danger to Naruto would far outweigh any positive results," the Hokage answered with bitter helplessness. "I can do nothing for that boy, except slip a few hundred extra ryo into his stipend here and there. I can't even teach Naruto-kun any of his parents' techniques without uproar from the Council."

"And why are you telling all this to me?" Ichigo finally broached the subject that had been on his mind since the Hokage had begun spouting classified information.

"Because your only interest in this entire clusterfuck is Naruto-kun's well-being," Sarutobi said bluntly, and Ichigo couldn't help it when his eyebrow lifted at the heavy curse. "I've always fancied myself a good judge of character, even if I've been so terribly wrong in the past." Ichigo barely caught the pained expression that flickered across the weathered face. "But I believe that you are a good person, and a strong one as well."

"What makes you think that?" Ichigo challenged. "For all you know, I'm just waiting for the right moment to slit the kid's throat or spirit him away for some evil experimentation."

Sarutobi actually chortled. "It's my experience that those kinds of people wouldn't tell me what they were planning before carrying them out. And you may keep your thoughts and emotions jealously guarded behind gruff words and hostile body language, but your eyes are very expressive, if you weren't aware. Forgive me, but you wouldn't make a very good shinobi, even if you have taken down several of our more seasoned Chunin with relative ease."

Rolling his eyes with a snort, he answered, "I never liked playing 'ninja and samurai' as a kid anyway. And those bastards deserved what was coming to them; did you know they'd been planning on severing some of Naruto's tendons?" Ichigo shook his head to rid himself of any residual anger. "So, what are we going to do about this situation, then?"

"Well, legally, there is nothing either of us can do, as Naruto became an adult in the eyes of the law when he was awarded the Konohagakure hitai-ate and became a shinobi. However," Sarutobi said, a glint of mischief sparkling in his eyes, "I might be able to come up with something..."

After-Action Report: Okay, so there's that. Yeah, I know we don't quite know much about Ichigo's zanpakuto other than its basic shape. Hell, we don't even know if the Khyber/Trench configuration is even its sealed state or Shikai...anyway, I just took some artistic license and gave 'em the shape and personality of Ossan and the Hollow. More on that later. Oh, and keep Mongoose in mind, she'll be important later, and the smart people will already know who she is.

As for Hiruzen giving out state secrets like it's Halloween candy, here he is, presented with a third party who knows nothing about the Kyuubi and only wants what's best for Naruto, up against virtually the whole civilian population of the village, as well as a fair portion of the shinobi population as well. Yes, he's made some critical screw-ups regarding his ability to judge a person's character (*cough*Orochimaru*cough*), but on the whole, I think the ol' Professor knows what he's doing most of the time. Also, we really don't know what he smokes in that pipe...

I'd like to give a big thanks to everyone who favorited and followed, and a HUMONGOUS thanks to anyone who reviewed. They all made my day. I'll try to be a little quicker with the next update, but as a wise man once said, "Shit happens."

Later days!