Thorin's morning had started with the appearance of a Kili he hadn't seen much of since he was a dwarfling—headstrong, persistent and glaring. It also began with a mostly-destroyed bird being tossed at Thorin's feet.

"Unc-Thorin, might I have a word with you?"

Kili's eyes were closer to black than brown as he stood arms crossed with his bow and quivers slung over one shoulder. Thorin snuck a peek around him just in time to see Dwalin shake his head and curse under his breath. Now what had the boy done? He stepped carefully over the desecrated fowl before answering.

"Of course, Kili. How did the hunt go?"

"Well, if you can split that measly bird into fourteen portions, then I believe it was a success."

Thorin could see how much Kili was reeling himself in by the clenched set of jaw and the firm planting of his feet. Kili was always in motion in one way or another, and to have him stand in complete stillness for any length of time was a definite hint that there was trouble brewing. He had known the lad all his life after all, and despite Kili being a lot of very fine things, a good actor he was not.

"It didn't go well then?"

He wasn't trying to goad Kili, really he wasn't but...well, perhaps he was just a little. And truth be told, he had been expecting Kili to seek him out with regards to the change in duties for he and Fili as soon as his brother had broken the news. That the lad had been able to contain himself for so long was a mystery in itself, but also showed a new maturity in Kili, as well.

Kili expressed his lack of approval of Thorin's tactics with the flaring of his nostrils and a strong hiss. "It would have gone fine, just as it always does, had I been accompanied by someone who didn't walk like a troll out for a stroll."

"A rhyme…how amusing. I never took you for a poet, Kili." Thorin didn't try to smother the smirk that curled his lips. "I trust Dwalin is the troll of which you speak?"

"Surely you did not expect me to take down anything bigger than that…" Kili paused to dramatically thrust his hand at the bird behind Thorin. "Not after you switched him for Fili."

"I didn't realize you had a problem with Dwalin."

"A problem with…" Kili's growl was followed by a stiff shuffling of his feet. "I don't have a problem with him when he's not scaring off all my prey with his constant complaining and fumbling around." His face was a light shade of red by the time he'd hissed out the entirety of his words, the sheer intensity in how he tightly balled up his hands at his sides clearly showing his temper was on a short leash.

"Dwalin is a honed warrior, Kili. I don't believe a little hunt for game is a major endeavor for him. If you couldn't bring anything back it's best to just say so rather than making excuses."

Thorin wasn't entirely sure Kili's head would not just pop off with the exertion he was putting into his well-practiced glare. He couldn't help being amused even though his nephew was clearly and determinedly struggling to control himself.

"There was game to be had, Uncle, but your seasoned warrior saw to it that it all ran in the opposite direction."

"Is your bow out of alignment, sister-son?"

"Is my bow…Thorin!" He watched as Kili swiveled his head in both directions. "My bow is as fine as my aim…which is…fine…as well."

It pained Thorin that he'd slunk so low into the cluttered pain in his heart that seeing his nephew squirm made him feel just a tad better. "You look nervous. Did you not sleep well last night?"

"I'm not nervous. Why would I be nervous? I'm just…just…Aule's alive…I'm just upset that you put Fili on watch with Balin and gave me Dwalin to not hunt with."

"Did Fili ask you to speak with—"

"No!" Kili's voice heightened to a higher octave as he cut off Thorin's words. "No," he repeated as he returned to his former register. "He would never ask me to do that."

"Then he is not the true meaning behind your upset?"

"Perhaps a little…but you aren't going to tell him I spoke to you…in this way, are you?"

"Is there a reason I should not?"

"No…of course not. I just don't want him…" Kili sighed, all his bluster seemingly deflated.

Thorin urged him along. "Want him to what?"

Kili sighed heavily. "He'll be angry if he knows I…spoke out of turn."

"He's not prone to anger though, is he? And is that what you're doing…speaking out of turn?"

"Not on purpose. I just don't understand why you had to change the way things were. Fili and I are a team. We work together well."

"But you won't always have the other to lean on, Kili."

"I am well versed in that fact, but I'd prefer to handle it when the time actually comes along, if you wouldn't mind taking it into consideration."

It was almost laughable how respecting Kili was trying to be, and had Thorin really needed a little more amusement in his day, he would have kept up his banter just to see his bright, confident nephew squirm a little more. But that would also make him a bastard, and Kili looked miserable enough already—plus, Thorin loved the lad dearly.

"Duly noted. I'll think about your request."

"Thank you."

With a slight bow, Kili turned away only to twist back around. "Thorin?"

"Yes."

"You know he'll always love you, and you could do no better than have him as yours?"

Thorin sighed. The truth shall set you free, Kili. "Would he encourage you to speak on his behalf?"

Kili shook his head, dipping his expressive eyes to the ground with a matching sigh to Thorin's. "No, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him…if that's at all possible."

"You came to me as your king, did you not?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then what is said by a leader and his men stays between them."

"Thank you. I'll just go…do something…" Kili spun around again, his downtrodden figure too much for Thorin to bear.

"Kili," Thorin called out. Kili stopped in his tracks. "I know and believe what you said to be true. Thank you."

Without another word, Kili made his way to Fili while Thorin watched him retreat. He finally had to force his gaze from his nephews—at least one in particular when he realized he was staring far too hard.

oOoOo

Once they'd packed up camp, the company set out again with Thorin at the helm and Gandalf nattering effortlessly—endlessly—at his side. He noticed Fili and Kili had parted ways once they mounted their ponies—Fili riding alongside Ori while Kili stayed close to Bofur. They wore a matching looks of disapproval and uneasiness, but remained silent and apart as they rode.

Thorin missed the mischievous banter that had always accompanied him and his nephews when they'd gone on their own little excursions, though the circumstances were, of course, not the least bit similar. He'd relished the time he spent with them as if they'd been from his own loins, but the idea of having any dwarflings of his own had never been one that appealed to him.

In fact, if he had at all considered the idea, it had merely been for the sake of producing an heir and not out of want to be a father. He assumed Fili and Kili had simply filled that piece of him, had been as close to fatherhood as Thorin had needed. But now he wondered if his heart hadn't already been trying to tell him something about his destiny—or what could be his destiny if he chose to accept it…his One—Fili. Perhaps he hadn't longed for an heir of his own because his soul knew his fated one was indeed male so he had no need to plan a family.

There had been talk around Ered Luin—there was always talk—about the line of Durin dying out, and with regards to Thorin's supposed inability to satisfy any dwarf woman enough to court and marry, and hence provide an heir to the throne of Erebor. But Thorin had never been much for talk or innuendo, despite the occasional nagging session from his own sister on the subject.

After a few hours, Gandalf fell back to speak with Bilbo and was quickly replaced by Balin. His old friend nodded civilly at him before stroking his beard and squinting his eyes at Thorin.

Thorin glanced back suspiciously. He knew the twinkle in Balin's eye like it was the back of his hand. His old friend was up to something. "You have something to say?"

"Can't old friends simply ride in companionship without any ulterior motives?" Balin tried to slip Thorin an innocent grin, but to no avail. The twinkle in his eye was a dead giveaway.

"Not recently."

Balin laughed and Thorin was forced to surrender at least a little of his sour disposition. "Did you have any problems on watch this morning?"

"With Fili, you mean?"

"Not specifically, no."

"Sure about that?"

"What happened to quiet companionship?"

"You began the conversation, my king."

Thorin snorted out a chuckle, gazing with open affection at Balin. "There's always something on your mind when you bring out the king card."

"I may have noticed the boys aren't riding together, as well as the hangdog looks on their faces. Your responsibility, I assume?"

With a sweep of his hand, Thorin shook his head. "Not at all. I simply told them their duties would be performed with others rather than each other. I never spoke yay or nay about riding together."

Balin arched an eyebrow and pointed a thumb behind over his shoulder. "Kili has the look of a very angry Orc about him, and it's aimed right at your back."

"As long as he doesn't aim his bow as well, I think I'll be fine."

With another laugh, Balin faced forward again, one hand still tangled in his beard. It was a habit Thorin was well-versed in with his old friend. He had more to say, but Thorin beat him to the punch.

"It was my intention to speak with you and Dwalin with regards to something Dain confided to me when I visited the Iron Hills. I don't want to alarm the rest of the company on suspicion and second-hand information alone. It also has more to do with my nephews and I than the company itself."

Balin tutted and shook his head. "Aye, that company of which you speak is family now, Thorin. If it's a threat against you or the boys, it's a threat against us all."

Thorin nodded, stretching an arm to pat Balin on the shoulder. "Dualy noted."

"Well then tell me. What did Dain have to say after he cowarded out of our journey?"

"Balin," Thorin warned, smirking when Balin didn't bat an eye at his reprimand. He, Balin and Dwalin had been through everything together, and the brothers did not shy away from reminding Thorin of that very fact.

"Dain informed me that a small group of his people came to him insisting he rise up against his Durin cousins in order that we would not be able to reclaim Erebor and her riches. They sought a chance to do so themselves—even if it was done by force."

Balin tsked a couple of times before he replied. "And you believe him then?"

"I have no reason not to. We have not always been on the best of terms, but he is still kin. It is more than just us who have mourned the loss this sixty years, and I believe the attraction of gold is more the bounty than Erebor herself."

"Aye, I'm with you there. And what did he do about these detractors?"

"Nothing." Thorin shook his head, unhappy with his own answer. "They disappeared before anything could be done, and Dain wasn't positive there was an actual threat."

"But you are?"

Thorin snuck a peek over his shoulder, his eyes unwittedly meeting Fili's. Fili smiled sadly then shifted his gaze. "It's been troubling me since I left the Iron Hills. I fear Fili and Kili would be a worthy target, more worthy than I."

"No, that I don't believe, though Fili would be a good guess since he is still young and first in succession. They'd just be best to do away with the whole lot of you."

An involuntary snort rolled from between Thorin's lips. "Thank you, Balin. Much appreciated."

Balin huffed out a laugh. "Don't get your knickers in a knot. You and your princes are never alone, and those boys of yours are fighters. None of you will come to any harm as long as we're all together, but perhaps you best keep a closer eye on Fili."

Thorin accidentally pulled up on his reins. Minty whinnied her reply then thrust her head up, knocking Thorin off balance and nearly tumbling him to his arse on the ground,

"Steady, lad." Balin offered his hand, but Thorin righted himself again in no time.

He peered out of one eye at the smirk on Balin's face. "Fili? I've no idea what you—"

"Did we not already debate the subject of old fools? You've been the only one in that lad's eye since he was old enough to think, and fighting it will do you both no good in the greater scheme of things."

"How did you—" Balin's grin widened, his old eyes crinkling up with amusement. "Balin, I swear, if you so much as breathe a word of..."

"How I knew is because I haven't always been blind as a bat, and why would I tell a soul? It's not been confirmed except in the mind of an old dwarf who needs a reading glass to perform his duties. You can view my words as hypothetical at best, or simply mad rumblings at worst."

"Thank you."

His hope was that Balin would drop the conversation so he could ride in silence and attempt to calm the rapid pounding of his heart. Hopes rarely saw fit to come true.

"I cannot believe you never saw through the lad before. For as far back as I can remember, Fili has looked at no one but you. How on earth did you finally see it?"

Thorin considered ordering Balin to the back of the pack, a seemingly easy solution to an answer he did not wish to give. Of course, short of Thorin wrangling him back there himself, Balin would no doubt just remain where he was anyhow.

"I spent eight months in Ered Luin this past year."

"Aye, with Fili?"

Denial or even hesitation seemed futile. "Yes, now can we just drop—"

"The lad catch you off guard, did he?"

"Balin…"

"And you just happened to allow him to do so."

Thorin tightened his hold in his reins. "I did not allow—"

"You said no then?"

"No."

"Would that be a no to you said no, or no to what Fili said?"

"Mahal's bollocks, Balin! I said yes. Is that what you wish to hear?" Thorin paused, his heart trembling as he relived the moment of shock and indecision, and just how easy it had been to accept Fili's claim.

Balin tutted his tongue before reaching a hand to pat Thorin again. "You honestly never knew until you came to be in Ered Luin this last time?"

Balin had lost the broad smile, replaced by a familiar look that Thorin recognized after so many years—concern and support. Perhaps it was time to speak the truth to someone else. Thorin gently shook his head, purposely examining the trail ahead so Balin couldn't divest the true emotion behind his answer.

"No. I never had reason to consider it so it is obviously not where my true feelings lie."

Balin huffed about a breath. "Nay, I don't believe that. My cousin didn't know his nephew was his One until the boy confessed it. Same with the barkeep at the old pub I frequented. He's very happy with his nephew, but as the boy was growing up he had no idea there was more than love for kin in his heart. Perhaps, it's just one of the ways a cherished coupling works."

"That's not what I wanted to hear…and you have no proof to even propose such a thing."

"Why? Because it doesn't suit you? Would you prefer I coddle your misguided thoughts and righteous indignation as if I were only a sheep in the middle of your flock?"

"You know that is not my wish, old friend."

"Then take my words for what they are, Thorin. Perhaps they'll supply you with some hope for your pained heart."

"My heart is not pained."

Balin shrugged a shoulder then snuck a peek behind him. Thorin suspected he was gazing at Fili.

"Aye, you can go on denying what should be the best feeling in your life, better than all the gold in Erebor or the weight of a crown encircling your head. But that won't make it not so."

"It's not as simple as you may think."

"No, I don't believe it is, but I'm envious of anyone who has been given such a blessing in their life. I'd not be here if I had a love so strong to stow my heart away in."

"I believe you would still be at my side." Thorin chuckled and Balin quickly joined in.

"Aye, maybe. But I would have been harder to convince."

Thorin paused, thoughts bouncing off the walls of his skull as he sought to form his emotions into words. He knew Balin would never pass judgment on anything he said, but that didn't mean the words simply tumbled out without justification.

"If the feeling has developed so fast for me, there is also chance it will wane inside Fili until it's no longer prevalent or necessary."

"That sentence doesn't have a lick of logic, and even if it did I wouldn't believe it, and neither do you. Not after the boy has been true and devoted to you his whole life.

"I was not his first."

Balin reached over and cuffed Thorin behind the ear. "Now you're just being difficult. You know the slapping of flesh is not that of which I speak."

Thorin tried not to look shocked as he ignored the Balin's crude comment. It wasn't at all like Balin to be so direct, but he did seem a little hyped up over the conversation. "He's too young."

"Bollocks. If he's old enough to ride on this journey, not to mention do something as adult as confessing his feelings to a dwarf who practically raised him, and without knowledge of whether those feelings would be returned, then he's old enough to be with whom he loves."

Thorin shook his head indignantly. He wondered if respecting his elders had to include those who were old—and often annoying—friends. Perhaps kings were exempt altogether. "Taking him as my own will only put him in more danger. It will also force him into a relationship with an older, self-focused member of his own family, thus not allowing him to make his way out into the world on his own."

"As you said, you were not Fili's first, and the danger follows him wherever he goes with the name of Durin stamped across his forehead."

"I am not the match Fili needs."

"Having a beloved is not representative of matching physical attributes or even social standing. It's about love, Thorin. It's about feeling whole where you've always felt needing. Do you feel that? Do you feel Fili filling the missing piece in your heart?"

Thorin sighed long, heavy, while he dipped his head for a moment. There was an uncomfortable burning of tears behind his eyes, a tingling of emotion in his throat, an ache of want pulsing strong in his heart. Or perhaps all his symptoms were simply part of the realization of Balin's truth.

He felt like a dwarfling being reprimanded. Was that how he'd made Fili feel with his lecture at Bag End? "Perhaps we will have a private chat tonight when there is more…privacy."

Balin nodded. "I shall prepare myself for the river of denial."

"Old friend, you shall never truly be old with that gem-encased mind of yours."

"So be it." Balin fell back, leaving Thorin alone with his thoughts.

oOoOo

Thorin was both impressed and downhearted by his nephews' efforts to please him and be dutiful. But truth be told, he missed the mischievous side to Fili and Kili's characters—mostly Kili's since he'd been the one to cause the most unrest and entertainment when he was in full-on Kili mode. Thorin could see he was striving hard to fulfill his new role of adulthood, and though a case could be drawn that Thorin had wanted to see exactly that purpose from his youngest nephew, in his heart of hearts he mourned the passing of the fiery, disheveled youngster Kili had been.

He was obviously still disheveled with his lack of braids and hair always in a tousle, and the fire still raged behind the deep brown of his eyes, but the old Kili would not have given up so easily with the outcome of Thorin's decision. The Kili of his youth would have held his ground and argued his points until he was out of breath, or until Fili had to drag him kicking and screaming away before Thorin threatened for the last time to tan his behind. His respect and hesitation in addressing the issue had obviously been a direct courtesy to Fili and his urging of decorum.

And Fili…Thorin missed him in a totally unrelated way, both the Fili of old with his easy smile and agreeable attitude, and the Fili of the past year with his passion and certainty. Thorin had fought to keep their coupling from his mind, turning it instead to all the reasons why their relationship should not even be considered. But he'd lost the battle the moment they'd set off from Bag End, the moment Fili had stepped away from Thorin's touch. The realization of just how far Fili had burrowed under his skin and set up camp in his heart wasn't an easy one, nor did it change the stubborn set of Thorin's mind.

He told himself the feelings would pass, that he wouldn't feel so lonely and restless once the facts settled into his heart, thus replacing Fili's presence there, or at the least making it less painful. He was a strong dwarf, the unfortunate events of his life had sought to make him that way and succeeded in every aspect—except the yearning for Fili's love.

Thorin wasn't entirely sure what he'd expected to happen when he came face-to-face with Fili at Bag End. He supposed he hadn't really thought about it much in light of all the other things weighing heavily on his mind. There certainly had been no preconceived plan of pushing Fili away or planting such a deep wedge between them—because he honestly hadn't expected Fili's eyes to be so filled with love, let alone his every breath striking a chord straight to Thorin's heart.

It was juvenile really, to have believed Fili's assertion that Thorin was his One would just blow away with the breeze once they were no longer together. And he'd hadn't thought that way because he didn't believe the words that had poured from Fili's heart—because he most assuredly did—but perhaps a desire to not believe…no, to not want them to be truthful had been set in motion the moment he left Fili behind in Ered Luin.

Disappointing his oldest nephew had always been like a thorn in Thorin's paw since Fili had forever been patient and forgiving, even as a young dwarf. He hadn't been perfect by any means, but Thorin had long believed Fili to have an old soul full of wisdom beyond his years. Why those thoughts and more with regard to Fili had never alerted Thorin to his true feelings toward him was something he could not explain.

Thorin was eternally grateful that Fili had Kili at his side, defending his honor despite not wanting or needing the gesture. His steely hope was in believing if he continued to tell himself not to love Fili—to simply stay focused on what needed to be done—that eventually his heart would stop encouraging him to look inside its walls for the truth. Unfortunately, after only two days with Fili so close he could taste him, Thorin's thoughts were on little else but Fili. He feared the stubbornness of his heart would continue to make moot the logic he preferred to have spinning inside his brain—as well as all the arguments and excuses he made up to try to tamp down his true feelings.

Memories of them together had become a constant fixture in Thorin's mind, sitting uncomfortably alongside the so-called logic that was supposed to be keeping it away. Even the knowledge that now would be the worst time to make such an important decision didn't distract the steely course of his heart with Fili at its helm. Perhaps Balin was right. Perhaps Thorin needed to view Fili more as an adult who could make his own choices and decisions, rather than the golden-haired dwarfling who followed his uncle around. If anyone should know the maturity level Fili had reached, it was Thorin.

He moved to sit against the rocks, tilting his head back and letting his weary eyes slip closed. It's wasn't a matter to be solved overnight or in some quick thrust of frustration, but maybe the solution did lie in Thorin's view of Fili now as opposed to when he was young. It was something to be mulled over in the least. Thorin figured he owed Fili that much and more since he'd been trying so hard to be respecting and responsible.

As he settled himself more comfortably against the stone, Thorin realized he had somehow turned his own mind—with Balin's help, of course—to that which had seemed utterly implausible and impossible before. Or perhaps seeing Fili in the new light of responsibility and honor had changed his mind for the better.

At least that's what Thorin believed until he next opened his eyes to hear the worried voice of the hobbit.